When Scratchansniff said they were going to talk to his younger self, he initially thought just hypothetically. Yakko never thought his psychiatrist of all things would take something so literally.
So, standing there, barely his height, barely taller than his waist, was his younger self from seven years ago. Gone were the Brown slacks that he was so iconic for wearing, and here were Brown overalls in their place. Gone was the constant need for coffee and caffeine boosts and bags under his eyes. Now there were genuine sparkles coming from his eyes, a genuine curiosity about the world that Yakko thought he'd lost years ago.
It was just scary, in a way, seeing how innocent he once was. Seeing how much joy illuminated from his heart. He was so small, so,so small... So fragile... pure. Far too pure for this world, especially considering what he'd seen since coming back for the reboot.
The same people from seven years apart stared at each other, the little one staring up at his older self with curiosity and wonder, while his older self stared at his younger self on the verge of tears, wishing he could go back to that time. Wishing that he was naive and innocent, and didn't need to worry about things like climate change.
He wanted to go back to a time were all he had to worry about was whether he was going to miss the episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or what toy he was going to get in his cereal box, or playing make-believe in his bedroom.
God, Yakko missed those years.
He missed being able to make the director smile without realising it, he missed when acting used to be a game of pretend. He missed when wardrobe fittings were like a game of dress up. He missed the way the make-up artist would smile when they attempted to let him do it by himself.
He bent down to his younger self, smiling at him. "Hey there, lil guy..." Yakko said softly, cringing at his own voice breaking.
The seven-year-old version of himself didn't say anything at first, but just waved instead. "Not much a yakker yet, huh?" He asked.
Yakko now remembered how shy he used to be. Gone were the years of quick witt and sarcasm that now came so naturally to him, replaced with a boy that barely said a word.
Scratchansniff observed both of them from his chair, utterly left speechless at the sheer contrast seven years will do to you. It was terrifying to see the same person seven years apart act so different. He observed the mannerisms, and how awkward the room was, he'd expect them to be talking constantly to each other by now, but they just seem to stare, unsure what to say to each other.
"You're so...Tall." Seven year old Yakko finally said. "I feel so small..." He said quietly.
Older Yakko's heart squeezed, his voice is so high-pitched and pure! He's about ready to die. His voice is so innocent and so sweet.
"Well, I am a little bit bigger than you, little fella! But don't worry! You'll grow up big and strong one day!" He encourages.
The seven-year-old notices how his older self's smile never quite reaches his eyes. It was so strange. Was it a real smile? Of course it was! There was no such thing as fake smiles!
He then notices something that he doesn't have on his arms. Huh. That's weird. Why were there weird scars on his arms?
"Um, Yakko...?" His younger self asked.
"Yeah, little me? What's up?" He asked.
The seven-year-old version of himself points to the scars on his older self, looking confused and innocent all at the same time.
"Why do you have scars on your body?"
Yakko freezes. Not even his sibs knew about these. One thing he was envious of he will admit, is the fact that, despite his seven-year-old self being much shyer than him, he was still as annoyingly observant and curious.
Should he tell him this?
Should he shatter his perception of the world now?
He looks at Scratchansniff for some help, but all he gets as he looks at him is a sympathetic smile and a nod.
So, he takes a deep breath, pulling his younger self onto his lap, as though he's holding his younger brother or sister.
"Well lil guy," He pauses, Yakko shakily exhales. Goddamnit! God fucking dammit! Why is this so hard?
He composes himself again, his seven-year-old self looking at him ever so innocently.
"We're goin' through a 'battle' right now." Yakko simply says.
"A battle?" The seven-year-old enquires.
"Yep." Older Yakko confirms.
"Are we winning?" The little one asks.
That was something Yakko didn't know himself. Were they winning?
He didn't know. Actually, there was a lot of stuff he didn't know. There was a lot of things he just pretended to know, a lot of stuff that were written on a script that he had to say out loud to make it sound like he knew everything. But that was simply far from the truth.
Oh. Oh, he was crying? When did that start?
He cradles his younger self, kissing the top of his head.
His younger self looks at him, his eyes now filled with the tears his older self was so used to. "We're not winning, are we?" He asked ever so delicately. That question just makes his older self cry harder, cradling his much younger and much more naive self much much tighter.
Oh. Where did they go wrong?
Yakko gently cupped his younger self's tiny cheeks in his much larger hands, wiping away his tears. "I'm so, so, so sorry buddy…" Yakko apologised. "We never shoulda been subjected to any of this… i'm so sorry I ruined you, well, us…"
The seven-year-old looked at him, shaking his head. "No Yakko. I'm sorry. I shoulda stood up for us. I shoulda found my voice, our voice! But I was a coward! I failed. We're a failure. All because of me."
Seven-year old Yakko broke down into tears. Loud, painful, heart wrenching sobs rattled his little body. Seven years of torment that had been eating him up alive. His younger self continued to sob, his cries desperate for his normal life to be given to him again. No fame. No stardom. No popularity. Nothing.
They both wanted to be normal kids again.
The seven-year-old version of himself continued to cry, truly showing him how broken he'd secretly always been. But, he'd gotten so good at pretending and acting, that he was even starting to fool himself. But as they always say in Hollywood, acting can only get you so far. Hollywood prayed on the naivety of others, so they could warp even the greatest actors and actresses's minds to the point where they weren't even sure how to be themselves anymore.
The world was so broken. So, so broken. Yakko even pondering if they should've come back for the reboot. Some fans surely didn't. This wasn't like the please please please get a life foundation. These were real fans, most of them divided on whether they loved the reboot or despised it.
Honestly, he didn't care, he was just happy to be acting again, but at a foul cost. His mental and emotional health in shambles, and now his younger self has to bare witness to the darkest mindset of himself.
Gloved fingers lifted little Yakko's face so both their eyes met.
"Don't ya dare say that! Ya hear me kid? We're not a failure, we never were. We only think that we are because we tell ourselves that. You're perfect. I promise. One day you'll see it, we'll see it. But that's gonna take time, longer than 30 years I'll tell ya that much. But we'll get there. We will. We're gonna win this battle. But we won't win if we just give up. We have to continue to fight, because, despite what the critics say, we're worth so much more, so, so, so much more. I promise. One day, you'll become the most popular character of the 90s, one day, you will meet fans that feel just as alone as us, and it'll be us that helps them. We will make the world better. Even if it's just for a little bit. You'll see kid, trust and believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself."
The seven-year-old breaks down again, but they were carers of anguish, they were tears of relief. The little man needed done today. If he could accomplish this match in seven years, 30 years in human time, imagine what they could do in another 30 years.
The seven-year-old looked at him, smiling. "I'll try, only if you will try too."
"I will lil guy, i'll try my best." Yakko said nuzzling his younger self's nose.
As they said goodbye to each other, both of them felt the weight being lifted off the shoulders. They were no longer bound by fear of past mistakes, they were no longer ashamed of themselves. Maybe things would get better, neither of them knew when I come, but maybe just maybe things would get better.
They would just have to wait-and-see.
A/N:
Hello everyone! Nice to see you again! I've missed everyone so much.
I was heavily inspired by a artist I listen to back in 2018, she is known as Faith Marie, if you haven't had a chance to go and listen to her music then I think you should. Her music really did help me back then, and recently I've been listening to her music again, and all these memories came flooding back of my struggle back in 2018, honest to God. I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna make it out alive but I'm here now, about five years ago this month I went for my back surgery, I still can't believe it's been five years, but I am a much much stronger woman than I ever was back then, and I have my strength and resilience to thank for helping me push through.
So I guess you could say, this is like closure for me? I'd say so.
I've genuinely missed writing, and it feels wonderful to get back into the swing of writing again. I think I genuinely just needed a long long break to focus on other things to find joy again. It was really fun writing for our favourite oldest Warner sibling again. Thanks for the boost, Yakko! Love ya, ya lil dork! UWU our little precious fluffy bisexual boiiiiii!
Also, a very very very very very belated happy birthday to LeeLee! Hope ya had a good one Bestie!
Anyway. I'll see you soon! Don't forget to leave a review to let me know what you thought! I'll be more than happy to respond! Thank you for reading!