Friday 31st October 1980

Dumbledore's Office, 22:45

The four of them left Dumbledore's office in silence. Absolute silence. They couldn't make a sound even if they wanted to. They just weren't capable of that right now. James didn't know if they ever would be again. Not with what had just happened.

Lily grabbed his hand and held it tightly and James squeezed it return. It was good to feel something. To not be completely numb. To remember that this was actually real life. That what had just transpired in there had really happened and it hadn't been some weird, terrifying dream. Nightmare, more like. There was no other word for this situation. Even nightmare seemed too tame for it. But it would have to do, for now.

Dumbledore dropped the most shocking, depressing, terrifying news on them. News that was hard to believe but this was Dumbledore saying it so it had to be real. Had to be happening. No matter how much they didn't want it to happen. Because who wanted something like this to happen to them? No one, that's who. But it was happening to them? What was so special about them? Well, Dumbledore had told them that quite clearly, even if he hadn't told them much else - aiming that they were in shock (rightfully so, he had assured them) and he would elaborate once they had had some time for this all to sink in. James didn't think that it would ever sink in.

He really hated the number three now, let's just put it that way. It sucked. Everything sucked. Everything was spiralling and he didn't know how to regain control. It felt like he had lost his footing and he was just hopping around helplessly.

But there was no one coming to help. No one could save them from this. There was just no way. He had seen the news reports, the Death notices, the missing persons reports. And he was an Auror, for Merlin's sake. Everything was going south fast. There was desperation in the air and everyone knew it. Every single person in Wizarding Britain knew it.

They couldn't beat back the dark cloud that was slowly enveloping them. They couldn't outrun the chaser. But people were still fighting. They couldn't stop fighting!

James was torn between wanting to run home and hide from everything and going back into Dumbledore's office and demanding more information. Demanding answers. What did all this mean? How did he get this information? Why them? Why their children? This wasn't fair. It wasn't. Wasn't the war enough as it was? Why did something like this had to happen?

It didn't feel real. None of it felt real. It was like a dream or walking through a very dense fog and only seeing vague shapes. Because this couldn't be real, could it? There was just no way. But Dumbledore said it was. So, it was.

It was real.

It must have been autopilot that brought them home because James certainly couldn't remember making the choice to apparate but here they were, at home. Had he even said goodbye to Alice and Frank? Had those two said anything? He wouldn't have blamed them if they hadn't. What could you say to news like that? What had he said to Dumbledore? Had he said anything to him? Had Lily?

There was a roaring in his ears, blocking out everything else. It was getting louder and louder.

Suddenly there was softeners underneath him. He was on their bed. What had happened to their stairs? But then the roaring came back, even louder than before. Be couldn't do this. Kt was impossible. It was wrong. What could he do?

A small sob broke through his rapidly spiralling thoughts. And then another. And another.

"Lily," he breathed.

It was Lily. Lily was crying. The roaring receded leaving an awful, echoey sort of feeling in his head. Which meant he could hear every single hitch of his wife's breath, every gasp, every choked sob. The bed shook because of this. How had he not felt it before?

He held her. He held her tight. And she hung onto him.

What else could they do?

Longbottom Manor, 23:30

"It's a joke, isn't it?" Alice asked, staring at the ceiling. "It has to be a joke."

"Dumbledore certainly doesn't think so." Frank said quietly.

"Because he has to take all threats seriously. Like the Auror Department has to."

They had to treat everything that was reported to them as an actual threat. No matter how ridiculous. Because the one time they didn't check might mean that someone could get hurt. Which was unacceptable. Dumbledore just had to be doing the same thing. He just had to. There was just no way that something like that was real. It couldn't be. No way.

"I don't think he would have ever told us about it if he thought it, was a joke."

"But, but, Neville?"

"I know, I know."

How often was it that you were told that your son was the one who might have the power to defeat a Dark Lord. And the fact that the Dark Lord knew this little fact? Or not so little fact. Well, mostly knew. Apparently, he missed a part of the prophecy or whatever it was and also there were a few names on his list but not all of them met the criteria and from Dumbledore's sources, Voldemort was trying to figure out exactly what the criteria meant. Not that it mattered. All that mattered that if they were even a tiny bit on Voldemort's radar that they should be doing something about it. What were they supposed to do with that information?

Neither of them said anything else, words completely failing them. Which was awful. He felt like they should be saying something. Anything. Going over word by word what Dumbledore told them. Discussing what it meant. Try to understand the position this put them in. What was their next steps?

Then, inexplicably, Frank realised with a jolt what day it was. Samhain. It was Samhain and they had completely forgotten. Just earlier this morning they had been gleefully discussing Neville's first big Sabbat and now... well, now nothing. It had been completely overshadowed by this devastating news. And they hadn't done anything. Hadn't done anything at all.

That hurt more than what Frank had been expecting. Which was ridiculous, considering the news they'd had just received. But still, it was supposed to be Samhain.

Not that it mattered now. Nothing really mattered right now except for the news they had been given. He decided that it was best that he didn't say anything about the day to Alice. He didn't even know what to say anyway.

Saturday 1st November 1980

Longbottom Manor, 07:00

This was awful, awful, awful. No, it was worse than awful. Kt was devastating. It was horrendous. It was soul-destroying.

Alice woke up the next morning of that awful, awful meeting hoping that it had all been a dream. Some sort of horrible nightmare. Because it couldn't have been real, could it? There was no way something that bad could be real. It just couldn't.

Except it was. One look at Frank's face when she woke up was enough to confirm that and suddenly, she couldn't breathe.

"Alice! Alice!" Frank said urgently.

"Can't... breath," she gasped out.

And then she was in Frank's arms and he was trying to get her to breathe normally. The only problem was that she couldn't hear him over the roaring in her ears. She couldn't catch her breath. She couldn't catch her breath.

It was stuck in her throat and wouldn't move any further. Her chest was tight and her heart was pounding. Pounding. Pounding. Pounding. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. The world blurred around her.

Was she going to pass out? Oblivion would be better than this. Far better than this. Anything would be better than this. Black was creeping in the edges of her vision.

Then she coughed and air filled her lungs so fast that she coughed some more. Frank was Pounding her back and her eyes were streaming.

Eventually, the coughs subsided and she was just breathing heavily. But at least she was breathing. Then she became aware that Frank was talking.

"In. Out. In. Out."

What on earth was he doing?

"Come on, Alice. In. Out. In. Out."

She was in the room; she didn't want to go out.

"Copy my breaths. In. Out. In. Out."

Oh, he wanted her to breathe. But she was breathing. In big gasps but still, she was breathing. It hurt to breathe. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to copy him.

"In. Out. In. Out."

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

Hey! She was getting the hang of this. In. Out. In. Out.

Sure enough, her breathing slowly eased up until she was breathing somewhat normally again. Her nose felt all clogged up and her throat may as well have been made of sandpaper.

"What was that?" She asked, voice muffled by Frank's chest.

He rubbed a hand soothingly up and down her back.

"I think you were having a panic attack."

His voice was shaky. She had scared him.

"Oh." She said in a small voice.

She hadn't meant to have a panic attack. She rather liked breathing.

"Where's Neville?" Alice asked, suddenly getting the urge to hold their son close.

"In his nursery," Frank said, sitting up.

"I'm going to go vet him."

Without saying anything se to her husband, she all but leapt out of bed and sprinted towards the nursery.

She knew it was unseemly, especially since she was in her nightgown, of all things, but her urge to see her son was just too great. She just didn't care about anything else.

Tuesday 4th November 1980

Ministry of Magic, 11:00

Peter had this sort of sinking feeling when he saw James' pinched face as he walked through the halls of the Ministry.

He didn't see his friend that often at work but he did sometimes and James always seemed pleased to see him. Kind of like an overexcited dog sometimes. Which was hilarious because Sirius was the dog. But James wasn't happy today. Hadn't been in days. Neither had Lily. Or Alice. Or Frank. That was four people who weren't happy. Who were sad. And it happened after they had been held back by Dumbledore after that Order Meeting a few days ago. Which was never a good thing. Good news was never said behind closed doors, was it?

Not that he really knew what they had all been talking about, there had been all sorts of charms and wards on that door. No sound came out. He knew, he had checked.

He had waited for them because the others couldn't - having children apparently did that to you. And even though he knew they were just going to go their separate ways after, Peter had found himself wanting to wait.

So, he had waited and wondered what they had been talking about. Wondering what the extraordinarily solemn look on Dumbledore's face was about.

Except, he did know what they were talking about, didn't he? He did. Even if he didn't.

The four of them had walked straight past him without even seeing him. Each of them white and shaking, looking but not seeing anything. Certainly not him. He had stepped forwards to try and get their attention but thought otherwise when Lily had said "Harry" in a broken tone.

That had made everything about him stop. His body. His thoughts. His heart. He just stopped and they left. And he was still standing there when Dumbledore eventually came out and nodded to him knowingly as he walked past. Peter didn't know how long he stood there before he came to his senses and also left. With heavy feet.

No, it couldn't have been anything about what he had said. There was no way. James was worried about something else. Because there was a lot to be worried about, wasn't there? There was. Peter knew he was just worrying over nothing. Dumbledore would have told him if it was something. Wouldn't he?

Godric's Hollow, 15:00

Lily was going around the house woodenly, doing things out of habit without really knowing what she was doing. She couldn't pay attention to things like housework or studying or researching. How was she supposed to be able to do all that with the knowledge she was carrying around with her? She couldn't, that's what.

But she made the movements, just so she wasn't lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't do that, she had responsibilities. Responsibilities she wasn't being very diligent about but still, they were responsibilities.

One of which was tidying the house today because the number of robes and bags and coats on chairs and sofas were just getting ridiculous. They hadn't put any effort in putting said items in their proper places, just draping them wherever was closest. Because anything else required more thinking than they could do right now.

But it was an easy repetitive task to do so Lily decided to do it. This way they could sit down without crumpling one of their robes or squashing a bag.

She had picked up five cloaks so far, three bags, a pair of shoes, two coats and way too many scarves. Were all those scarves even theirs? She felt like they shouldn't have that many.

Without looking, she reached for the next thing. It was soft and nothing like a cloak or any other piece of clothing she had picked up so far. Lily looked down at her hands and dropped the item.

Harry's little Hallowe'en costume. Oh, sure, they hadn't been going to take him out or anything; it had been too cold and then the Order Meeting but they had still wanted to dress him up. It was a cute costume. A pumpkin one. He'd looked adorable in it when they tried it on him.

But they hadn't got to celebrate Hallowe'en with him. Or Samhain. Not properly. They had missed his first holiday. His first major Sabbat. What sort of parents were they?

And suddenly there was something wet on her hands. And waterdrops on the little costume. She touched her face and felt really stupid when she realised, she was crying. Over a Hallowe'en costume. A Hallowe'en costume. Of a holiday they didn't even get to celebrate.

The tears kept coming and coming regardless. She couldn't stop them. She didn't want them to stop.

But they had to stop. She couldn't cry. She couldn't.

Taking a deep breath, Lily stood up, holding the now very crumpled costume, and tried to will herself to feel okay. Or at least not bad. It took three tries but she managed it. Just about.

Right, she could do this. She had to do this.

Marauder Flat, 19:00

"Something weird is going on with Prongs and Lily," Sirius said as they undressed for bed.

For once, they had both had the same shift which meant that they got to come home at the same time. A rare occurrence that they were cherishing.

What they were also cherishing was the fact that Cassie had settled down to sleep with only one song tonight and they were certainly not going to look at that gift unicorn in the mouth.

"I thought so as well," Marlene said, nodding. "She was all distracted when I picked Cassie up."

Lily had offered to look after Cassie when they were on the same shift, saying that it would be no bother.

"Did she say anything?"

Marlene shook her head. Sirius frowned. Dammit. And Lily usually shared everything with Marlene. And James usually shared everything with him. So where did that leave them? With nothing, that's what. And Sirius didn't even know how to go about fixing it.

He was actually scared that he wouldn't be able to. What sort of news made all the life go out of James' eyes like that? That made Lily stare into the distance? He didn't like it. Didn't understand it.

But he was Sirius Black. James' best friend. His brother in all but blood. He had to do something.

He just didn't know what.

Friday 7th November 1980

Tonks Home, 20:00

"We can't force them to talk," Dora said as Remus paced up and down.

"We can try!"

"Okay, you do that and see where that gets you."

Remus frowned at her. Didn't she want to know what was wrong with their friends? Their family? Hadn't she seen that they had been acting all weird and withdrawn. He didn't think he had seen James smile for the last week or so, never mind tease or make jokes. Which was just unnatural for James. Couldn't Dora see that?

"Dora, don't you want to know? To help?"

Because he just knew they needed help. He could feel it.

Teddy let out a cry and Dora held her hands out for him.

"Look? You're upsetting the baby. Give him here."

Remus handed him over, frowning in thought. What could have happened that made James and Lily like they were? Remus didn't even know how to describe how they were acting. Like they were there but not really present, if you know what he meant.

"And of course, I want to help," she said as Teddy calmed down. "But you have to wait and let them tell us how to do that."

"And if they don't?"

"Don't push," she warned him, bouncing Teddy on her hip, je let out a happy noise which made them both smile briefly. "I mean it, Remus. It won't go well for you."

"They always push me to talk."

And it normally worked. So why wouldn't it work on James?