Okay let's see... now if I remember that badgers instructions correctly, he said to take the first right when first entering the bamboo forest, followed by a twenty minute slither, then a left, forwards, two lefts, a right, forwards, loop de loop, slither back a few paces and then a right. And then... damn it, maybe a left afterwards...?

Yeah, probably lost, aren't I? Yeah probably. Okay note to self, next time you decide to take a job, maybe make sure it's somewhere a bit more closer to home.

Sorry, I suppose I owe y'all a bit of context for what's happening here. Well you know when that day comes where you need to find your own way in life and spread your wings? That's where I'm at in life. Trying to find a job and live my life out of my familys shadow as we all do at some point. Recently I picked up a flyer saying that a goose needs an extra set of hands... or tail given my species... since his son moved out. Nothing too exciting, just a simple job at a noodle shop in a village called the valley of peace. Quite the lovely title I can't help but notice. Anyway, I responded, sent a letter and made it as interesting and as jazzed up as one could, few days come and go and I get a response! The owner decides to grant me an interview, two days at sunset after receiving said response.

So pretty much a few hours later there I am hugging my dear parents goodbye and my little sis before heading out into the world, ready to make a name for myself! Both my mom and pa tell me they're proud while Lyre jokes and bets that I'll be lost in the first three hours. That is not the case though I'm happy to admit. It actually took me three hours and ten minutes!

So yeah... joke's on her...

Ah who am I kidding, I have absolutely no flipping clue where I'm at! It's been nearly two days already and for nearly the entire journey I've been relying on the luck of strangers to get me to where I am right now! I could be halfway across China from my destination for goodness sake! Right now I'm smack bang in the middle of this stupid bamboo forest, supplies running low and maybe only a few hours before my interview! Also I've had to travel through the night which has no doubt made me the tiniest bit exhausted so yeah. Really not a good time to be me.

Imagine that, my first chance to get out into the world and make my own living and I mucked it up because 'I got lost'. Wouldn't exactly be a proud point in my life now would it?

Welp, it's not over yet at least. I can head my head up high and say I gave it my all to the last second of my deadline. And then slither my way back home into bed feeling completely miserable. On the plus side at least I can say I've survived this long without being-

"HEY YOU! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!"

*Sigh*... Robbed by bandits...

Funnily enough our village doesn't suffer from bandit raids all that often. Usually some theft or small time crimes caused by a few locals happen here and there before the small but capable handful of royal guards stationed nearby do their duty. So being here, on my own against a group of no doubt tough, possibly battle hardened thieves for the very first time, well I'd be lying if I wasn't a small bit concerned for my health and safety.

"ALRIGHT UH... YOU! KEEP YOU HANDS IN THE AIR WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

Daring not to anger these guys I did exactly as they demanded and held up my... well, my tail since that's the closest I'm going to get to a hand, you know being a cobra and all. And apparently one of them decided to point this out as I could barely hear them whisper amongst themselves within the nearby bushes, keeping themselves concealed. Or rather they would be concealed if they weren't being so loud... as well as a large crocodile tail sticking out from the foliage.

"Uh, Fung I don't think he has hands."

"Oh for...! Could you just like, NOT for three seconds Garry? Let's just rob this guy and get moving!"

"I'm just saying some snakes might find those particular words offensive, that's all."

"Oh, okay then, fine! Since you're so concerned for the guy that we're supposed to be robbing, I'll go ahead and ask him, shall I? HEY HOODIE! YOU FIND ME SAYING PUT YOUR HANDS UP TO BE OFFENSIVE?"

"Well I suppose-"

"No see, he's fine with it Garry! Satisfied?"

Okay well that was rude.

"I mean... I guess. But what if we come across a snake that does find it offens-"

"Alright, you know what? I done with this. CROC BANDITS ATTACK!"

And just like that, five of them popped out and surrounded me, brandishing the metal axes they carried menacingly. Or... four of them did, one managed to mistake an ordinary bush for a thorn bush and seemed more concerned right now with removing the numerous thorns lodged into his scaly skin.

Still, four against one? Can't say I like those odds. Maybe I could convince them I'm not worth robbing?

"Alright guy! Give us your stuff and we'll be on our way, capeesh?"

Now or never.

"Look, guys! I've been travelling for a while now, okay? My supplies are almost depleted and I've no coin on me!" Well actually I have ten yuan but come on, I have to save what little I do have. "Can't we just part ways on good terms and let live?"

"Oh really? You have nothing? Nothing whatsoever? Not a gosh darn thing?" The lead croc, a rather large fellow with a metal pot placed atop his scaly head eyed me up suspiciously. "Do you think we're dumb guy?"

Well if the last minute of stirring conversation is any indication...

"I don't care if it's just a sack, a stick or whatever! We're taking it! You know why? Cause the croc bandits baby! And we don't let nobody off withou- OOF!"

That's as far as he got before something smacked into his head and knocked him back and down a good twenty feet or so. It was so sudden and fast that the thing that had attacked vanished as quickly as it had appeared. It had caught all of us offguard. Or a moment I wondered if this was another, even tougher gang making a claim. If so, things were about to get bloody real fast. Maybe I could escape in the chaos if I was quiet and lucky enough.

At least until I heard a snap from above. I dared to look up and before I had time to react something- or rather someone dropped from the bamboo stalks and landed right in front of me causing me to, I'll admit it, yelp in surprise in a questionably high pitched volume (I'm easily startled, alright?). The first thing I noticed as soon as my train of thoughts caught up was that it was some sort of avian being wearing purple pants and a straw hat. The second thing I noticed was that he was stood in some sort of stance, one for combat if I were to assume. And thirdly, he wasn't facing me but rather the bandits. It was like he was acting as a barrier shielding me from harm. Was this one of those legendary kung fu warriors I've heard so much about? A good number of them lived throughout China but they were still few and far inbetween. It also seemed like they had a history too.

"Ugh, really guys?" He spoke in a nasally voice. "Robbing this close to the Valley of Peace? Surely you knew this was a bad idea considering how often we've done this song and dance."

The lead croc, the one that had been knocked down managed to get back up, placing his helmet back on that had flown off after being hit and responded. "Hey, I don't know nothing about how bad an idea this is or isn't! Alright?"

Uh, what? Did that hit damage his brain or something?

"Croc bandits, clip that birds wings"

And that they did. The avian sighed as though this was likely the umpteenth time he'd been in this situation, which it probably was and struck before his opponents could. One jaw shattering kick to the closest before the next one got flipped over and thrown into the fifth croc who had only just now managed to rid himself of the final thorn, and soon after finding himself knocked back into the very same thorn bush, poor guy. The final henchcroc seemed to try to get a few swings in which were easily dodged before the avian took flight, grabbing the croc by the shoulders, lifting him into the air and slammed him into the nearest bamboo stalk, breaking it and rendering the croc unconscious. Now only the leader remained.

"Darn it!" He exclaimed, getting so mad that he grabbed his helmet and threw it on the ground. "Why do you guys gotta show up at the worst possible time! Can't you just like, wait five minutes or something and THEN show up? Just for a change?!"

"No chance Fung. Now give up while you're given the chance to."

Not so surprisingly, the croc did the exact opposite and charged, yelling some sort of war cry with his axe raised high, ready to strike. He didn't make it ten feet before another, slender figure tied themselves around his head and arm before tightening themselves and forcing the croc to knock himself out with his own axe (the side of it). The croc dropped and the new addition turned out to be a snake. A viper to be more accurate. She seemed a little annoyed at her comrade.

"I thought you were going to wait for me before engaging Crane. With five of them you'd be better off with someone watching your back!" She scolded.

"Sorry Viper, guess I got a bit carried away." Crane shrugged with a small embarrassed smile. "Although in my defense they were getting a little antsy. Better to strike with the element of surprise before they tried something."

"I suppose I can give you that." The viper sighed. They then both turned to me, replacing their looks with kind smiles. " Are you alright sir? These jerks didn't hurt you, did they?"

"Oh uh, no I'm- I'm okay, thank you." I bowed in gratitude. "If you hadn't come along..."

"Think nothing of it. You're safe now, and these guys just earned themselves a one way ticket to Chorgom."

"Yes, indeed." Oh hey, hang on a second. The avian Crane. He mentioned something about these crooks robbing me close to the Valley of Peace! I must be close! Guess it wouldn't hurt to ask just to make sure I'm heading in the right direction. "If I may ask, how far away is the Valley of Peace from here?"

"Oh it's just right over that hill." He pointed without turning to a small hill a stones throw away.

"It's... just right there?"

"Sure is."

My eye twitched. A little understandable since I've been standing here in this very spot for near an hour trying to get my bearings with my destination being literally fifty feet away. I knew that badger was leading me on!

"Are you okay sir?"

...

Oh! They're talking to me. Duh. "Yes, I'm okay thanks. Just a little tired is all."

Now the crane was the one eying me up before turning to his comrade. "Viper maybe you should go with him just to be safe. I can handle this lot."

"Of course." She nodded before turning to me with a smile. "Sir, if you could kindly follow me?"

And that I did. Can't say this was how I expected this morning to go. Being up for more than twenty four hours and getting nearly robbed, all for a job too by the way which is the only reason I'm here! Needless to say if I don't get it I'll be having a lot of difficulty getting back home. So yeah, no pressure there. At least the worst of it is over.

...

...

Right?