Set after my other stories Bound and Purpose, in that order.

Star Wars - Absolution

(Mara's POV)

Chapter 1

Coruscant's spires still had a way of eliciting so many mixed feelings in me. That impressive and intimidating aura I'd felt when I'd first arrived, I still remembered it. I'd been so young then… The city had been bent and polished under Imperial boots for years. Maybe I hadn't noticed it then, but the undercurrent behind the order was fear and hopelessness. Yet the seeming nobility and glamor of it all had somehow nursed loyalty out of my heart.

Looking back on it now, it seemed like a thousand lifetimes ago. Because little by little Coruscant had changed. The ebb and flow of life here had taken on a whole new meaning.

And yet…

I stared into the busy port, watching ships come and go.

The past still came back to me like a bad taste in my mouth. More often than I wished I'd be right back in those old days. I'd feel the past brush against my skin with each subtle reminder.

But I'd started to expect as much. Accept as much. And in that acceptance came a measure of peace. It might have come from all the time that had passed or it could have been all those Jedi platitudes Luke was constantly spouting. Either way…I knew I'd be okay, and that was decidedly enough.

"Don't be nervous, you'll do fine," I heard Luke whisper from beside me.

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "Nervous? Aren't you the one that's nervous?"

Ben shifted in his arms, his wide blue eyes seeming to eavesdrop on our conversation. "I am, at least a little…" Luke admitted.

"Let me guess…" I mumbled back. "You have a bad feeling about this?"

He hesitated before smiling. "Yes, but that's likely just personal bias."

"Don't worry, at least the officials on Becro 5 asked for someone to come, usually I showed up without an invite." I smiled thinking back to my time working with Karrde. "And asked for money no less. Needless to say, I'm used to a less than cheery welcome."

"And you and Leia are obviously incredibly capable. So why am I so worried…?"

"I can probably think of a few good reasons," I teased, ignoring his suddenly overprotective nature.

It was more or less a routine assignment. The government of Becro 5 had requested assistance from a New Republic representative and a member of the Jedi. Technically, Leia fit the bill all by herself, but most officials saw her more as the New Republic side of things. I'd been briefed on the basics of the mission. The teenage son of the Grand Governor of Becro 5 was suspected of being Force-sensitive. If I confirmed he indeed was we were to bring him back to Yavin for training.

Honestly, it seemed simple enough that it didn't need to involve the New Republic at all, but the governor seemed to want to make it very official. Needless to say, I wouldn't have wanted to drag some stuffy politician into what was strictly Jedi business, but thankfully Leia had been kind enough to offer to go. These were the typical PR assignments Luke was always given. The kind he never knew how to turn down no matter how overbooked he was. So this time I'd made the decision for him, even if it meant I had to go myself.

"Just relax," I said tossing him and Ben a grin. "It's only a few days there and back. Leia and I are just going to kick back and complain about you and Han for a while, then pick up the kid and head to Yavin."

"Where I'll be waiting," he said as if to reassure himself.

"Yeah, that's the idea."

The emotional worry was thick in the air between us. I didn't know why, but Luke was really overthinking this. "Unless the governor's son isn't Force-sensitive, in which case they might be offended somehow…" he mumbled to himself.

"Offended enough to kill us both and start a war with the Jedi Order and the New Republic?"

Luke's frown only widened. "I wish you hadn't said that Mara…"

But I laughed and gave his shoulder a little squeeze. "Hey, lighten up, Farmboy, you know how hard I am to kill."

"Ma!" Ben yelped happily as he waved his arms toward me.

"See," I added. "Even Ben gets it."

Luke finally gave a faint smile. "I guess I am worrying over nothing…"

"Just admit it," I said playfully. "You've gotten too used to me being around."

"I have," he confessed without hesitation. "Ben and I both have."

Seeing Leia from across the hanger I waved and started to walk over. Luke followed with Ben, doing his best to shake the grey cloud hanging over him.

We were going to take a ship Leia had been given by the New Republic. It was well-maintained enough, but when I compared it to the Sabre it looked downright drab. Admittedly, I would have felt better in my own ship, but then we weren't headed into battle. Or at least I hoped we weren't. But I shook the thought away before Luke's worry could poison my brain.

"This thing isn't a sports model, is it?" I teased Leia, glancing at the ship.

She smiled back as she went to hug Luke. "It's about as dull and standard issue as you'd expect from a politician."

I folded my arms. "Let's hope the mission is equally so." For Luke's sake, anyway.

"Where's Han?" he asked. "He's not coming to see you off?"

"We said our goodbyes already. He's tied up with Anakin's teacher this morning..."

I grinned, sensing a story behind it. "Oh, should I ask?"

Leia sighed. "No… Let's just say he's inherited his father's ability to make trouble when he's bored."

Luke smiled slightly. "Maybe this mission will be a needed change of pace for you then?"

She grinned back at her brother. "One can only hope."

They said their last goodbyes and Leia turned to board the small vessel. That just left me to ruffle Ben's hair and kiss Luke goodbye. But when I looked back at them from halfway up the landing ramp it didn't seem like enough. Something on Luke's face, something in his senses made me flinch with worry. A stray feeling that seemed less than tangible.

"May the Force be with you…" he whispered softly.

I nodded, but the words I wanted to say seemed stuck in my throat suddenly. The hatch drifted close behind me blocking out the last glimpse of them.

I frowned, feeling a little disappointed in myself suddenly. Needless worry and foreboding were pointless and would only get in the way of the task at hand. But mostly…

I glanced back at the sealed hatch, a strange sense of finality playing out inside of me.

I meant to say I love you, one last time…

We were two hours into our flight, and Luke's worries were still sticking to me like sap. I wasn't used to holding secrets with so many Jedi in my company, but Leia didn't force me to talk about it. Even if it was painfully obvious. It was the perfect opportunity to bury the subject of my feelings like I would have so readily done in days past. But these days I was different, so different I brought it up myself.

"Does it get easier?" I mumbled half to myself, as I sat next to Leia in the cockpit. My eyes traced the starlines, thinking of all the worlds out there. Worlds filled with unique lives and stories. And yet…

"Leaving them behind, I mean…?"

And yet, there were just two lives in the entire galaxy I wanted to be a part of.

I felt Leia's feelings stir as a sort of wistfulness tugged gently at her features. "No…" she finally answered. "Vulnerability and uncertainty go hand in hand with longing to create what we know as love."

I leaned into my hand playfully. "Wow, that sounds like a recipe for misery."

A smile lit up her otherwise calm and wise face. "You're not entirely wrong about that, Mara," she teased. "Just give it a few more years though, you'll be glad to get away."

"Is that personal experience I hear talking?" I asked with a grin.

We shared a chuckle before the air sobered a little again. "I felt Luke's worry too…" she softly admitted.

I sat up a little straighter in my seat. "Are we paranoid or is this a legitimate 'disturbance in the Force' kind of thing?"

Leia shrugged. "I don't know. It's hard to be objective when your emotions are involved. This is the first real-time you've been away since Ben was born, it's probably as simple as that."

We both sat with that logical explanation for a few moments, enjoying its simplicity. Neither of us truly believed it though. The longer we stewed on the idea, the clearer that became.

"Or we could be headed nose first into trouble," Leia admitted with no little wit. "Not that it would be the first time."

I laughed. That made me feel better somehow. With so much emotional baggage already what was a little more trouble for people like us?

"Well, either way, at least we're in it together…" I reluctantly gushed.

She raised a playful eyebrow at me. "Are you of all people, Mara, getting sentimental?"

I spun my chair to face the stars away from her, my face probably a little red. "Blame that creepy brother of yours, why don't you?"

"Oh I do," she whispered with a smile in her voice. "All the time."

A few more hours passed in a mixture of comfortable silence and idle conversation. Finally, I thought it would be a good idea to check up on our mission details a little closer. Starting with what was known about the Governor's son. Everything seemed so routine about this mission that I had to be a little suspicious. Or at least Luke's paranoia was rubbing off on me. So I thought staying a little ahead of things would take the edge off my nerves.

I poured over the datapad, waiting for something to jump out at me. But the harder I looked the clearer it became that nothing apparent was wrong. He was just some average royal kid that seemed to be Force-sensitive. Glancing at Leia, I thought that description reminded me of someone else.

"Any insight on the inner workings of a kid raised to be royal?"

She looked a little amused by my choice of words. "There are usually only two types, those sympathetic to the needs of their people, and secondly, brats."

"And which were you, might I ask?" I joked.

"So I lied, there's a third type too, a mix of both."

I smiled, knowing whatever trace of royal brat she'd had as a kid was so long gone now no one would ever believe it existed. I'd only ever known her as a calm wise voice that could level a politician with one bite of well-placed snark. Now, I knew her as my sister, which was still so hard to believe…

"I think the main question is," she went on. "How seriously does he take his supposed Force-sensitivity?"

"And does he really want to be a Jedi in the first place…?" I added, following her line of thought.

"We have little more than speculation to go on now," she agreed. "But it's certainly a possibility that the Grand Governor could be pushing him toward something he doesn't want. Regardless, we should try to prepare ourselves for any outcome. As best we can anyway…"

I folded my arms, feeling a little overwhelmed by the thought. I was used to slicing my way through problems, not settling possible family disputes. Suddenly, I hoped our trouble would come in the form of attack droids instead…

My doubts were some of the last lingering things behind my eyelids. Hours later, laying in my bunk, I still couldn't shake the bad feeling. Rolling over to face the wall I tried to still my mind and all that jazz. But nothing I did made the feeling go away. Reaching out with the Force I tried to feel the space around me as a living being. From the stars outside to the soft, ebbing thoughts from Leia as she lingered in the cockpit.

My natural connection with Ben and Luke had faded with distance. That was normal, inevitable, but it still felt wrong somehow. They were the sorts of feelings I didn't want to share for how personal they were… And yet, I thought Leia already knew without a word.

I couldn't feel their emotions clearly, but there was still a part of each of them that seemed permanently adhered to my being. A bond that no distance could sever. I took comfort in that as I tried to remind myself this was just a routine mission. A fact that echoed back to me like the most obvious of lies.

I sat up, giving up on sleep. Tossing my feet over the side of the bunk I reached to strap my boots back on. For most of my life, I would never have taken my boots off on a ship for any reason. But times had changed and somehow I'd gotten…comfortable. I could remember so many instances of Luke sitting a cup of tea on the Sabre's engine readout panel, neither of us really worried about what it said. Little by little the galaxy seemed to be forgetting the sting of war, even though the memory would always live on. Faded, diminished, but still there…

I stared across to the other side of the small room. As it was made for politicians it was a few steps above a smuggler's hauler in terms of decor, but somehow the finary seemed out of place. As if it telling me to relax would be a mistake. I reached for my saber, looking it over carefully. Examining every nick and scar, as much for sentimental reasons as to ensure it was ready for whatever lay ahead. Finally, I strapped it back to my side, turning toward the door.

But before I could take a step toward the cockpit I felt a surge in the Force. The sick sense that my foreboding was about to take its place in reality. Time seemed to slow as the sound of an explosion shattered the silence. There had been no whine of laser fire or alerts from our sensors, just the sudden jarring sound of our engines blowing out.

"Mara!" I heard Leia shout as I fought my way through the smoke to reach her.

"What's happening!" I shouted back as I poured over what readings were still functional.

"I don't know!" she shouted through gritted teeth, fighting to keep the last vestige of control over the ship. "It could be a cascade failure! I don't have time to speculate!"

"Agreed!" I yelled back as I poured over the star chart of our current system. "Luckily there's a rock right below us!"

"I certainly feel lucky!" Leia shot back sarcastically as she jerked the ship toward the fast-approaching planet below.

The ship rocked under my feet knocking me into the hull with no little vigor.

"Mara! Are you still with me?!"

"Apparently, this would sure be a lousy afterlife!" I tried to joke as I clawed my way to the seat next to her. Strapping in, we saw the green and blue planet rise closer and closer with each second. Soon the atmosphere was a burning glow that nearly heated the seat below me. We both knew the worst part was still to come…

The last thing I remember was the sound of trees snapping and a maintenance panel peeling off the wall and careening toward me. The painful impact on my head felt almost like tangible color before I blacked out.

Then the only color was a void like white.

A sickeningly empty expanse of unconsciousness that lasted longer than I could possibly guess…

More coming soon!