Well I'm back! As promised I intend to finish this story but life just got in the way. Anyways, imma jump straight in! buckle up this is a long one

Chapter 12 – Family complicates things

After what seems to be forever Max finally returns but he's beyond fuming which isn't a good sign. "I watched your 2 most recent fear sims like you asked me to…" Danny is mildly confused by this and sends me an odd look to which I shake my head and turn my focus back to Max. "what the fuck did they do to you?" straight to the point, thank god. "they abused me. I don't really want to say much else but there's a whole boat load of reasons I have so many scars. Don't tell me you didn't notice the ones on my wrists or my legs before I had most of them tattooed over." Max seems massively dissatisfied with this but also doesn't wanna push it either. "and Nat?" I sigh "he was definitely abusive towards mum but certainly not the same level he was to the rest of us. He hates me in particular because I stand up to him." Max looks deeply troubled, and I know its because his sister ended up with that monster. I silently take Max and guide him to the sofa while four goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water and hands it to him.

We sit like this for a long time until he seems to recompose himself enough to speak to us like this never happened.

"your final exam is tomorrow, by the looks of things you'll be graduating at the top of your class and joining leadership. What I forgot to give you was your furnishing allowance, but it seems you managed to pull some points together already, I almost forgot you're doing some work with Tori now as well." He hands me an envelope "hopefully you can finish the rest of the apartment with this before you get your leadership salary which is pretty hefty" I smile, I'll definitely get to work furnishing the rest of the apartment asap.

"I have to get going but please come to me if you need anything. Just so you know all the leaders will see your landscape tomorrow, everyone else will just be able to see your reactions." "I know, ill see you later uncle" I say with a smile. This seems to lift his spirits before he departs closing the door behind him.

The boys pop themselves on the sofa either side of me while we process it all. "maybe we should talk about this later. You've just been handed a fair chunk of points and you still have some time to furnish the last few rooms" Toby says. "yeah that's a fair point. Lets go." With that we all jump up and out of the apartment down to the bank where I cash the cheque Max handed me and then head back to the furniture shop we were in only a few hours before only Abby seems to have been replaced with a much nicer woman this time.

After some consideration we settle on setting up the last 3 rooms as more guest rooms for now and pick different sets of matching furniture for each and plain black bedsheets to put on the beds. I decide to wait to consult the rest of my family later to decide what to put on the feature walls in each. For the remaining bathroom I pick the same open cabinet in the other bathroom and grab another three sets of black towel bales in the same styles as before. For the home office I pick a desk to match the rest of the furniture because why the hell not, the difference is that its coated in a layer of clear resin to ensure a flat surface. I know I will get a leadership issued laptop so that's not a problem. I pick out a gun metal lamp and more chandeliers for the other rooms. At the last minute I decide to buy some throw pillows for my king sized double bed and a faux rabbit fur throw even bigger than the bed to match as well as a chaise lounge in the same style as the living room chairs for the end of the bed.

We decide to turn our attention to the feature walls next so we disappear off to another shop that sells paint. Rather than just thinking of the three walls I've decided already, I grab a multitude of paints to cover the other walls I want to paint later as well as a load of rollers and paintbrushes of varying sizes for me to paint with.

I realise just before we decide to make our way back that I have no everyday supplies so I go and grab some basic stationary and snack foods and call it a day.

We head back to the apartment where we only have to wait 20 minutes for the remaining furniture to arrive. An hour and a half later we have it all in place and my apartment finally feels almost like home. With a few finishing touches it will be perfect.

"hey, this place is even cosier than mine now!" Danny exclaims. "it's a lot bigger too" four follows. "suckers!" I yell before barreling at the both pushing them down on to the fluffy rug on the floor in a heap. We all break out into easy laughter and I finally feel like this really is home. Things are looking up.

I wake up in my beautiful, cosy, gigantic new bed the following morning feeling rather refreshed.

Despite my very good nights sleep, I wake up much earlier than the rest of the faction and decide to head off to work out long before my final examination for the day and mentally prepare myself for the inevitable torture of my fear landscape.

Instead of my usual early morning run in the training room, I snag my shiny new card and head for a run around the compound. The nearest external door is exceptionally close to the leadership apartments, mostly for security reasons. The leaders need to be able to respond quickly to mishaps in the city and therefore the parking garage is also very close, as are the offices.

It is practically on the other side of the compound to the initiate dormitories which is quite the relief considering the announcement max will be making later today.

As I run my thoughts drift to Max. Danny was right to be cautious. Max is helping Jeannine hunt for divergents, i.e. most of my family and me which poses quite the problem. He is rather enthusiastically on board with the plans she has coming and I'm running out of time to stop them. I have delayed them before, but these are the most elaborate plans yet. In addition, this time she is feeding the factions lies in order to prepare them for the oncoming war and is attempting to recruit leaders like max into the fold which is becoming increasingly problematic as before it was only one set of leaders to disrupt.

Eric is another kettle of fish. He is well known for being her lapdog which is very dangerous for myself and Emily. Not only that but he doesn't necessarily display the traits of someone who is fully dauntless, far beyond the erudite ingrained habits, he feeds a curiosity that should not be so strong but, overcompensating for those habits during capture the flag by selecting the most brutish initiates instead of being smart like Toby and selecting with his head. It was evident in his strategy that he was holding back. It was too simple minded for an erudite transfer, perfectly curated to hide any traces of him left, it was too dumb, too dauntless especially, for the initiates on that team, there was no way they had been so dumb with some of them also formerly from erudite. He seems to be hunting his own kind which makes me wonder precisely what she has on him to make him do such a thing. Either way, I was sure as hell going to find out. I would need his help later.

There was a part to play for the factionless too. Despite the obvious torture of two young children, there was a sinister reason why.

This war has been brewing since long before me or even the current leadership of the factions. The fear of divergents has been evident for so long. The lies that have been spread and morphed into us being dangerous rebels out to destroy the faction system. The war that led to this city's foundation was not just a simple war, but something far far bigger. The knowledge of which thoroughly sealed away in the depths of the factionless. They had tried to destroy the traces of knowledge in this city, but from my own adventures, they had failed miserably.

Divergents were not to be feared but to be revered. Not only could they help to fix a broken system and enhance it, but they could save humanity. The original founders knew this, but the knowledge was not passed down in order to preserve the true reason for the city's existence. Slowly this morphed into fear of those who were perceived to threaten the system.

This fear led to the experimentation on children with serums. Some of which were so vile these experiments ceased early into the city's history, but quietly continued under the watchful eye of the erudite on a much smaller scale. Eventually it wasn't enough to just experiment here and there on factionless children. They wanted children from the factions. Specifically, divergents.

This desire led them to me and Liam.

They had watched us for years, a pair of twins so obviously in the wrong faction. Smart, defiant, kind, honest and selfless. Watching until the time was just right. These experiments were the most brutal and vile ever in the history of the city. Each of the original serums were given to each until their bodies could take no more. Til the purest form of the serum would make them react so violently they could be incapacitated for hours afterwards. That the memory of the serum was worse the serum its self.

After that we were no use to them. They drew straws to see which of us they would discard in a location to be found or starve to death. And which they would keep. Either the body to dissect or to level up their next round of experiments.

For years I though he was dead but just a couple years after his disappearance I had remembered something after forgetting almost everything about the year I was missing. In a nightmare I had realised they had given him the memory serum and not the death serum. He was alive.

In what state I am still unsure but I have never stopped looking for him.

With that thought I realise where I am in the city. The place they took us.

I stop my run and look around cautiously. You can never be to cautious around these parts of the city.

Where the factionless congregate there is more than meets the eye. They are not small bands of discarded people anymore. They are an organised group, bigger than many of the factions, now with their own leader. Though I was yet to find who. They are guarded and don't take kindly to people poking around their business, especially those who know far too much about the upcoming war.

Despite my repeated attempts to meet the leadership and find where they stood, I was always met with hostility. Which when attempting to stop and oncoming war, is not very helpful when one of the biggest players on the board is a massive wildcard.

I would have to stop erudite and bide my time with the factionless. My spies had gotten close but they have yet to penetrate the confines of the inner leadership circle. I cant risk this war happening in the next few weeks. I need more time and that may just come in the form of Max and Eric. They just don't know it yet. I will have time to mess up the plans while training under Eric. But I must remain careful, they cant know too much just yet.

As I turn to leave a glimmer in the darkness under a building catches my eye. Upon closer inspection an unpleasantly familiar figure steps forth.

"well well well isn't it my little dove, back home, where she belongs"

"over my dead body" is all I can get out though both my rage and my fear.

"shame really, your brother misses you. Now why ever did you leave him. It's not like you've been searching desperately for the last few years to no avail. He's been right under your nose all this time, as have we."

I pull a knife that I had tucked away for safe keeping after he goes to take a step closer. Though the fear I manage to discern that he is alone, likely here to taunt me now I am in a position to do something, moving the game of cat and mouse into its next phase.

"where the fuck is he"

"now now, it wouldn't be any fun to tell you just yet little dove. Oh no. that would spoil all the fun. You see, you're almost in a position of power, initiates aren't allowed to leave the compound after all but you've been training very hard these last few years-" he says in a mocking tone as he takes a step towards me and I take one back. "-your skills are unrivalled in that faction and you know too much. They have you fast tracked to leadership. Now isn't that something. I wonder if you scream at night all alone dreaming of all the wonderful things we did to you, if that high an might façade drops the minute you set foot in that fear landscape, that you drag your heels desperately trying not to relive those wonderful moments with us. With your brother."

He keeps stepping towards me and I keep matching his steps backwards until suddenly I'm met with concrete and he closes the gap between us. I press the knife to his chest as he towers over me and leans in to whisper in my ear.

"You won't do it. You can't or you will never see your brother again. Do you feel the electricity, that fear cuz I can hear it. Your shaky breath, your pounding heart. Isn't it thrilling. I hope you can't stop thinking about it, that terror while your family laughs around you at breakfast. When your boyfriend is fucking you senseless in bed. When you sleep at night in that cushy new apartment."

I am frozen in place while he takes a step back and turns to disappear back into the darkness. As he does so I see the other two smirking from the darkness and the face of a broken and beaten Liam. Much like I imagined him in my fear landscape only skinnier and black and blue. Before I even dream of regaining my bearings, they're all gone and my knife clatters as I drop it and slide to the floor.

My breathing so fast and shaky I feel lightheaded, I don't know where I start and where I end, I feel like I'm dying. Like my chest wants to split open while I keel over and die.

I remain there for lord knows how long until I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and scoop me up. Terrified I thrash and try to escape but their grip is too strong. I hear one word repeated but can't discern who or what it is, I just need to escape. To run. Where's my knife.

After a couple of moments more of blind panic there is nothing I can do to escape and I accept my fate. This is where I die.

Suddenly I can make out the word.

"Tris"

After he repeats it a couple more times, I realise its Tobias.

"Fuck, Toby" I get out desperately.

"shhhhhh, I got you. Just focus on me"

I nod and attempt to match my breathing to his and wrap my arms around him tightly.

After a little while his voice registers clear as day.

"that's better. Just keep breathing. I will get you back safely".

All I can do is nod and he lets go of me to pick up the knife and starts to guide me back the way I came. Thankfully where I was is only 20ish minutes at a brisk run and it won't take an eternity to get back to the compound. Wait, how did he know where to find me, he shouldn't be awake.

"How did you know where I was?" I say so quietly he almost missed it. Its at this point I register how sweaty he is, he must've sprinted all the way here.

"I couldn't sleep so I went to the control room just cuz I like to observe what's going on in the city sometimes." The minute I saw him pop up on the footage in front of you I recognised him from your sims and bolted out of there to get to you. The audio is broken on that camera though and I couldn't figure out what he was saying."

I just pad along silently beside Toby. I'm in so much of a daze that I don't even realise where were going, how did we get to this front door? Wait, its not mine. What?

Just as it registers that this is Toby's apartment, he opens the door and gestures for me to enter.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll get you some water" I nod and make a beeline for the bed before I remember his whispered words. I jump back, heart pounding before I bolt to the sofa instead. Toby seems to notice it all from the adjoined kitchen and returns quickly with two glasses of water and immediately pulls me into his arms. "hey hey hey, talk to me Tris" how? I can't even function properly right now let alone speak about it. I shake my head and burst into tears.

"shhhhhhhhh, I've got you" he starts rocking me gently. "Do you need me to call Danny?" I shake my head and pull him closer.

We stay there for what seems like hours until I calm down enough to function slightly.

"I'm sorry" is all I can say right now. I don't even know where to begin. "don't be, I'm just worried, I've never seen you react so badly." "It's different in a sim. Its not real and I know its not real. With them I'm painfully aware of just how real it is, just how easy it is. I froze so badly. I am no dauntless." "don't you dare say that. You have been through more than everyone else in this faction, hell this city. You have a right to be deathly afraid of them." "I don't even remember what they did to me. Only nightmares, my fear landscape, flashes from deep within my mind. Its all just gone." "that's normal Tris, your reactions are perfectly valid. Just because your afraid doesn't mean you're not dauntless." In my head I mull this over for a moment. Logically I know he's right. That I am allowed to feel this way but somehow it still feels wrong. Almost like I don't belong, that they're right.

"Toby I feel so heavy, so tired, I just want to sleep" "that must've taken so much out of you, you still have your exam later today. Skip breakfast, I'll bring you something for when you wake up later and ill explain the situation to Max. there's something I have to do." "please stay with me. I don't want to be alone" I say sounding almost desperate. I need him right now. "of course" with that he scoops me up bridal style and sits back down with me having seen my earlier reluctance to move to the bed. "what has you so spooked about the bed?" I bury my face into his shirt and mumble "he hopes I think about the fear when you're fucking me senseless in bed" I hear a sharp intake of breath and he pulls me impossibly closer to him.

"I am not going to do anything but comfort you right now Tris. I am here to keep you safe, not make things worse. Are you sure you don't want me to call Danny?" I mull it over. If I sleep, I will likely have a terror and idk if he can deal with that right now and I don't know if I want him to see me like that, but then ive seen him at his lowest, in a pool of his own blood locked in a cupboard for days on end. "no, please just hold me" we stay there for a few more minutes then gently he lifts me off the sofa and moves me to the bed, he puts me under the covers and then joins me, pulling me to his chest. "is that better with our clothes on?" I nod and pull him closer. Its so much comfier and fully clothed I can at least banish the thought from my mind for a little while.

Somewhere along the lines I fall asleep. I feel the bed shift at some point drifting between consciousness but eventually settle into a terror as predicted. I wake bolt upright screaming and sweating buckets when two strong arms gently coax me to lay back down after I register where I am and who I'm with.

Hes still clothed but changed from this mornings outfit. "hey, ive got you, c'mere" his voice is thick with sleep. I snuggle back into him the sleep thoroughly banished from my body. "what time is it?" "its about midday. I've had your test moved back to 4 and everything's taken care of" I nod. "you get night terrors then?" I nod again. "part of the insomnia or something else?" "Something else. I've had the insomnia since they took me. Those serums fucked up basically everything about my body. Whatever the serums didn't fuck up, they did." I sigh. This is gonna be so hard to explain. "what?" "I can't have children. They mutilated me to make sure they could have their fun without ruining their test results with anything… unwanted." I force out. He notices my discomfort and pulls me closer. "im sorry, you don't need to explain anything. You've been through enough today." I mean if were here I may as well get this over with. I sigh. "they pumped me full of serums. Each faction has an original one. The worst is the undiluted fear serum. They pumped us full of it til our bodies reacted violently to it and the memory was worse than the serum. That blind fear you saw in the last sim we did was the memory of that serum. It distorts your surroundings, your fear is so primal you don't even know its yours, where the screaming is coming from even though its you. That's why I react os violently to certain serums in high dosages or repeated dosages. That's how I know what the dauntless sims are, the aptitude test-" "the aptitude? They forced that on you early? Your result was just pure dauntless." "no. it wasn't. not the first time at least. They needed a baseline for whatever they were doing to us so they used the aptitude test and the fear landscape sims. I tested positive for all 5 factions." I pause to let this information sink in while I collect myself to keep going. He may as well know this stuff if he intends to stay. "wait, you're divergent to the point they couldn't rule out a singe faction? That's unheard of." "yeah, its supposed to be impossible to get more than one but I have a funny feeling you already know that's a lie" "you're right but I don't actually know my aptitude because I was schooled to get an abnegation result and that's what I got." Well shit, that's an interesting tidbit that pulls my attention away from everything else. "he trained you to get abnegation?" "yeah, he made sure it would be difficult if I ever decided to escape from him and his faction." "Andrew never prepared any of us for that test. I just made sure to select all the options to ensure I got dauntless. When my actual test came around so I wouldn't look suspicious. I know they're hunting us here." "that's not exactly common knowledge, it took my instructor pulling me to the side after a fishy sim to be told that." That makes a lot of sense, I suppose I've been given a head tart with the knowledge I possess. "I've known for quite some time, its been going on longer than youd expect too. The fear landscape sim was interesting though." "how many fears did you have the fIrst time?" "I had 7 the first time. The first was crows, there was feathers and talons everywhere, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. The second was drowning in a tank of water that filled from the bottom seemingly on its own. The third was faceless men trying to kidnap me in my room in abnegation. The fourth was being forced to kill my family. The fifth used to be you." At this he seems confused "I used to be afraid of intimacy. At that point you tried to pin me to a wall and kiss me. Fucking stupid abnegation fear." At this he laughs and I smile just a little. That one is kinda funny at how silly it was. "the sixth was drowning in a vast ocean. The waves kept dragging me off this one giant rock with such force it was actually impressive. And the seventh and final fear was being burnt by none other than that's tupid bully peter. That idiot has been bullying people in school for years. Its so silly looking back on it." "still that's impressive only having seven fears in your first fear landscape." "not as impressive as a presumed four" he lets out a laugh. "ever the observant one" I start giggling "come on what does the mighty four fear?" "I guess I could show you, we've got time."

I perk up at this, now that really is something I'd like to see, after all hes already been in my head. "I guess that settles that then." With that I sit up and wait for him to pull himself together and we both make a beeline for one of the practice rooms instead of the main suite where ill be taking my test in front of the whole faction. I shiver at the thought, they will see my responses to my fears live.

Before I know it Toby has everything set up and we start the simulation. Before we both pass out I smirk and utter the words he used with me in my earlier sims. "be brave" I catch the smirk before were launched into his landscape

The first fear is as I had guessed. We're on top of a building with no stairs to the ground, no door, no fire escape ladders or nearby buildings. "I cant say I'm surprised. The only way down is to jump right?" he looks at me and I've never seen him scared before. Its certainly an unsettling sight to see. "yeah, on three?" I nod and take his hand. "one" I start "two" he adds in a very uneasy tone as if he's about to bolt and let me jump alone. "three" with that we take off running to the ledge and jump together. After a briefer time than we should have been falling, we hit the ground and just as we start to get up, were slammed together by thick wooden walls from all sides.

He's afraid of confined spaces. But… oh. The cupboard.

He seems far closer to panicking here than on the rooftop and I can feel his sharp breaths and his racing heart. I go to pull him into a hug which ends up being a mistake as the box moves in with us. Shit. "dare I say this would be enjoyable if we weren't in a shrinking box" I laugh a little at his comment but can feel that he's slightly closer to panicking now the box is smaller. "we can repeat this later when were not in a box. Right now we need to make it smaller." He nods and I gently coax his shoulders down and slowly sink down with him til we're as close together and as low down as we can physically manage. He's almost at the point of panicking when the walls of the box fall away from us and the air cools down significantly.

He catches his breath for a moment before there's a woman tied to a chair with a bag over her head and a gun on a table. "the first few times I was in this landscape it was a random innocent woman. It symbolised the orders I would have to take in dauntless that I would not want to carry out." He picks up the gun on the table and loads a bullet into the chamber. "until that night where you tipped up at Danny's apartment and you keeled over. I saw your two little tattoos and knew id be seeing you again. Ever since that night it's always been you." When I move around Toby to get a better look at the woman I see that it really is me. The tattoos and the fashion match perfectly to my frame. I look to Toby and there is so much dread within him and light tears in his eyes. "I've tried to shoot myself instead so many times but the gun just jams. I have to turn it on you and I can never do it, unless I look away" with that he closes his eyes, turns his head and shoots. I too look away, not wanting to see my own lifeless body as I had imagined numerous times and instead move to Toby to give him a hug to pull his mind away from what he had just done and that I am in fact still here.

Suddenly the walls flicker to abnegation grey and I know exactly what his biggest fear is.

Marcus is stood in the centre of the room hand raised with the belt. "this is for your own good"

Toby shrinks back bracing for the blow of the belt but instead I grab it before it makes contact with him which springs him into action and he punches his own father and the sim ends abruptly and were back to the test room.

Toby takes a few moments to collect himself while I simply pull him into a tight hug which he reciprocates.

After a short time, he pulls away and sweeps me into his arms and gently places me on the floor. "now you know what my fears are, lets go and find out what yours are but first we should pick up some food and talk to max." at this my stomach growls realising I hadn't eaten at all today and I had burnt far too much energy already.

We head over to the cafeteria and find Danny sat at his usual table. "baby bea! Are you okay? I didn't see you at breakfast and lunch is almost over already! I tried your apartment, and you weren't there! You had me so worried!" I pull my poor brother into a hug and shoot Toby a look telling him to let me handle this. What he doesn't know wont hurt him. "I'm fine shithead, just had a late night drinking at Four's." he immediately rounds on Four "before you say a word Danny, nothing happened between us, stop being my overprotective brother" I roll my eyes and he seems to accept this explanation without further comment.

"I don't know about you two but I'm fucking hungry I'm off to get my lunch." So I grab an assortment of quick foods and the last couple of slices of chocolate cake.

We eat lunch quickly and say our goodbyes then head over to Max's office. We knock on the door and its thrown open by none other than the man himself.

"where the fuck have you two been" at this I look at the floor. It is after all my fault we're late. "Max, please clam down. You're gonna have to let me explain this one but its pretty serious." His expression turns from extremely angry to extremely worried. "allow me to pull the footage before I explain some more" Max offers Four his chair and he quickly pulls up the footage he saved this morning from the camera in question and at this moment I'm so glad that there's no audio for me to suffer through again. I don't have to look at the footage, but Max goes from angry to terrified to sad, to angry again when watching the encounter and the skipped parts till four calms me down and leads me off camera. He looks up at me with a saddened expression.

"one of the people wo took you came to taunt you?" I nod gently desperately trying not to remember the whole ordeal again. "I take it Four has been trying to calm you down all morning then." Again, I nod and he turns to four about ready to chew him out but quickly decides better of it after I glare at him.

" do you want to take you final exam this afternoon still?" I nod still not trusting my words and max looks worried. He hasn't seen me any other way than the façade of confidence I wear 24/7. In front of him is a scared 18 year old girl, not the seasoned dauntless he saw in me just yesterday.

"Max, when I went to do the setup there was a malfunction in the camera that allows the members to see an initiates reaction during the landscape. It'll require an engineer from erudite to fix it. I tried everything and even eric couldn't figure it out." Well that's oddly convenient Toby. Wait, I remember the bed shifting and him saying he had to take care of something. That must've been part of it, but surely he couldn't create a malfunction that Eric cant fix? Can he?

"we'll just have to proceed without. Four d'you wanna sit in with the leaders when they review the landscape and the other initiates landscapes? You are after all their trainer." He shakes his head violently and doesn't elaborate. I don't blame him, I don't wanna see my landscape either and definitely wouldn't want to watch the other initiates.

"well that settles that. We should head down then and gather the faction.

There was no need to gather the faction when we arrive for they were already down there eagerly awaiting the displaying of my final exam. I feel like a lamb being sent to he slaughter.

"welcome everybody. I'm afraid there is an issue with the camera system and we are unable to broadcast the initiates reactions like we usually do. We will be displaying the fear count and the time in its place"

Theres a chorus of disappointed awws but deep down I am thankful as this is going to be extremely rough after this morning.

Max leads me into the simulation room and four follows. Four prepares the needle and hands it to me. "I can stay if you need me to" I nod "thank you" he smiles a small smile at me "be brave"

With that I plunge the needle into my neck and the last person to disappear from my view is Toby.

The first fear is my family yet again. Except this time Liam looks exactly like I saw him this morning and I cant control it, I just start sobbing. Its far too much already until the door opens one more time than I expect it to.

Marcus drags in a bound Tobias in his dauntless black and throws him down alongside my siblings. No. not my sweet gentle Tobias as well.

I can feel my heart beat dangerously fast and my chest coil painfully. I struggle to move and it took me far far longer to calm myself down this time. It feels like an eternity until I can feel the familiar brown leather cuffs and I'm sent back into overdrive yet again. it almost feels like I've been given the fear serum without even starting and my body feels weak. I don't register anything of what's going on through the blind panic. I hear screaming, is it me, is it liam? Where is it coming from, it cant be me. Is it? Nothing coherent crosses my mind until I remember the words be brave. Who said them? Am I brave? Can I be brave? Where is that screaming? Tobias. Yes. You have to get back to him. Stop screaming. That was me? Yes. Focus. Be brave, be brave for him. Come back to him.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Slowly the pain in my chest fades and I can breathe again. Then all of a sudden I'm back in the final exam room with someone's arms around me and horrified eyes trained on me.

I ignore all of it and just keep breathing until I can focus on the arms around me again. Toby. Safety. Once he's noticed I've calmed down significantly, he breaks the silence. "you okay?" I nod, "I will be"

I turn my attention to the horrified eyes of the five faction leaders in front of me. Particularly horrified is Eric. He looks like he'd just been tortured himself.

I get to my feet steadied by Toby and wait for them to digest what they'd just seen. One of the older leaders looks at Toby and says "no wonder you didn't wanna see that again. how'd you get through her normal sims?" he just shrugs. That's a valid question. Its one of the more unpleasant things.

The next to speak is Eric "how are you alive?" to be fair I'm not quite sure how either "I don't know, stubbornness I guess. Lots of people have tried to kill me already and I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a lot more to come."

No one else says anything so I kinda look at max uncomfortably. "can I go now?" "yes, we should all go make the announcement."

With that we all slowly head out of the door to the waiting dauntless members.

displayed on the screen is my time.

6 minutes

So that's it I'm afraid. Sorry for my 2 year absence but I'm back!