Thank you for reading!
Once Ohval had settled the Disciple into his chair, she looked up into Kaz's face and hissed at him, "This is our sanctuary. Where we can sleep peacefully. Not have to worry about thieves and bandits like you."
They were thieves and bandits, Wylan thought. They had broken into this quiet home and disturbed it, blown it up, nearly been killed, and all for a blade they probably could have bought just as easily if they had approached Ohval in the right way. He was sickened by the whole thing.
"We're not bandits," Kaz said, unmoved.
Her lip curled in disdain. "No one gets past the poison." She looked them all over, and then back at Kaz. "You're just a child, really."
"A child who understood your weakness."
"'Weakness'," Neyar whispered. She looked down at her husband, tenderly, then back up at Kaz. "Four hundred years I've been alive. I've seen them all die. My family. All my loved ones. Taken away from me by time. Hundreds of years I closed my heart, as if that was the solution to ending all pain. What a safe way to live."
Wylan tried to imagine it, outliving everyone you cared about, over and over again, how empty that must feel. Possibly as empty as never having had anyone to care about in the first place.
Neyar turned to look at all of them, her voice still soft but also forceful. "What a small way, as well. You guard against pain. You guard against joy."
Jesper narrowed his eyes. It was so close to what his mother had told him. This time he did look at Wylan, who dropped his gaze immediately.
The glance cut Wylan like the edge of a knife. Jesper had opened himself up, dropped his guard, and Wylan had brought him pain. He had brought Wylan pain when Wylan had dared to trust him with his secret. Clearly, they were no good for each other.
Neyar continued, "But when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love, two worlds make a universe." She gently touched her husband's face.
Her words landed sharply on all of them. Nina wore the love that had blindsided her on her sleeve; she looked up with a renewed determination to get it back. Zoya had never experienced such a blindsiding, and she wasn't at all sure she wanted to. Tolya still felt a bit stunned, as though possibly he had been struck. Inej felt all the hopelessness and the weight of her love for someone who could never truly return it, or accept it, her longing for that simple touch that would never come. Kaz held the walls around him tightly closed so that her words couldn't touch him, because he might shatter if they did.
Wylan ached with longing. Just a day ago, there had been joy, and trust, and yes, a complete and total blindsiding that he had embraced with all his heart. And Jesper—he'd been struck twice recently, first by Wylan, in that moment where he stood and listened to him play the piano and felt love pierce him like a gunshot; and today by his mother, whose love he had hidden from for so long but which had swept over him again like a prairie fire, leaving him feeling raw and exposed.
Neyar paid no attention to any of them. Her eyes were only for her husband. "He's not my weakness. He is my universe. And I will see him through his days. Sharing every moment … until he is part of the night sky." She held his face tenderly in her hands. "What do I care about a blade?" Gently, she kissed his forehead. Then she looked up at Kaz. "What do you care about a blade?"
Kaz held her gaze intently. "The Darkling has created an unkillable army made of shadow. Your sword is the only one sharp enough to cut them down."
"That sounds like Ravka's problem."
"You think he would be stopped by a line on a map?"
She covered her husband's ears, although it wasn't clear that she needed to. He appeared to have fallen asleep in his chair. "I think I can still kill you where you stand before you can blink."
The rest of them rose at that threat, and Tolya said quickly, "Sankta Neyar, I have met the Sun Summoner who will take leadership in Ravka if the Darkling is gone. She is benevolent, and she is also Shu. She could be the living bridge between our two countries, but that can only happen if you grant us use of the blade."
"Use of it?" she repeated incredulously, looking around them at the destruction of her home. "All this just to borrow the blade?"
"All this just to protect your husband in his sleep?" Kaz asked. "We each fight for what matters most."
"And on my life, I will make sure that it is returned to its rightful home. With you, Sankta Neyar," Tolya vowed.
"Ohval," she corrected. "The last thing I need are … pilgrims crowding my gate."
"Is it time for bed now, darling?" the Disciple asked.
She turned to him, glancing at them over her shoulder. "All of you, out." They turned to go, defeated. Then she called, "Except for you. In the hat."
Jesper turned toward her in surprise.
"I'll give the blade to you." She looked up at Kaz. No love lost there. "Alone."
Kaz stepped up to Jesper. "We'll wait for you outside before we head back to the Hummingbird."
Jesper nodded, turning to watch them all leave, wondering why she wanted to give him the blade rather than Tolya, or Inej. Still, it didn't matter. They had come for the blade; he would leave with it. Possibly that was all he would leave with. Wylan hadn't returned his look. Wylan might never forgive him.
But he had to try. Following Ohval, Jesper determined that he would try to talk to Wylan. One last time, to make him see ... everything Jesper had learned tonight. And hope that somehow, it would be enough.