Content Warning: Snogging/Kissing

"You've got to be kidding me," Peter said flatly as Remus finished telling him about what he had witnessed the night before. Sirius and James had left early that morning so that James could run some new plays for the Quidditch team, regardless of the fact that it was the middle of January, freezing cold, and Quidditch wouldn't start up again until March.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Remus groaned, still lying on his back on top of his bed sheets.

"Lockhart though? Sirius hates him," Peter thought aloud. "Are you sure he wasn't doing it to get a rise out of you? You know how he gets…"

"That's what I thought at first, I mean he's been snogging any bloke he can get his hands on when he knows I'm looking. I'm shocked he hasn't snogged James just to see what I'd do…"

Peter made a face. "Don't give him any ideas, mate."

Remus covered his face with his hands. "Godric…" He sighed and sat up, leaning against his headboard. "Apparently he's actually got a date with that peacock."

"A date?" Peter snorted. "Padfoot doesn't go on dates. He never took you on-" He trailed off when he saw a hurt look cross over Remus' face. "N-not that that means, you know… anything. It's just-"

"It's fine, Wormtail," Remus sighed, running both of his hands through his hair. "It's my own fault this is happening anyway, isn't it? I told him to see other people." He knew it was going to be painful to see Sirius with someone else, but he supposed it would stop hurting eventually when he got used to it. It was better this way, at least for Sirius. For Remus himself, well… What did it matter? He was a werewolf. He was cursed to a life of pain and damnation anyway.

—-

"You've got to be kidding me," James said flatly, staring at Sirius as he finished telling him about what had happened the night before. Sirius leaned against the wall of the Quidditch changing room and shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't know what else to do, mate."

"So you snogged Gilderoy Lockhart?" James visibly shuddered and gagged. "Merlin, Padfoot! You could have done anything else! You should have snogged… I don't know… Filch's cat or something! Anyone would have been better than that peacock!"

Sirius gave a sick smirk. "Oh? What about Snivellus?"

James' eyes grew double in size and he pointed his finger shakily at his best friend. "Do not even joke like that, Sirius Black." He sighed and dried off his snow and ice-soaked hair. "You're really going to go through with this, though?"

"Moony wants me to date other people. You know how he is, Prongs. He thinks he's not worthy of anyone and it won't be fair if I'm stuck with him forever or some stupid Moony reasoning." Both James and Sirius rolled their eyes. "I have to make it at least look like I'm making an effort and show him that there is no one else for me. He's it, Prongs."

James snorted and shook his head. "Well, I would argue that we haven't even graduated school yet and that there could possibly be someone else out there in the real world…But honestly, I can't imagine anyone else putting up with either of you two." He slung his arm over Sirius' shoulders as they headed back towards the castle. "Trust me, Pads. No one thinks the two of you belong together more than I do. Just do me a favor, don't go sucking Lockhart's face within my eyesight, alright?"

—-

"...Oh you've got to be kidding me…" Both Peter and James groaned as they followed Remus' horrified gaze across the Great Hall to the Ravenclaw table. Sirius was really laying it on thick, practically in the blond's lap and glued together at the mouth.

"...I may vomit…" Remus muttered, unable to tear his eyes away from the disgusting display. He shoved his breakfast plate away and buried his face in his hands.

"I may join you," James gagged, then he took his fork and stabbed Remus sharply in the arm. "This is all your fault, you know."

"OW!" Remus frowned and rubbed his arm, looking affronted. "Prongs, don't start, alright? You know this is what had to be done and-"

"Not to alarm anyone," Marlene said as she took a seat on Remus' left side. Dorcas and Lily sat beside her and Mary sat on the other side of James. "But it looks like that git Lockhart slipped a love potion into Sirius' pumpkin juice." She nudged Remus with her elbow. "Are you going to punch that git or should I do it?"

Remus sighed. "Marlene-"

"We could tag team him if you want. C'mon, Lupin. Everyone in the school is just waiting for a reason to beat the creepy smile off his face. This is perfect." She stared at the three boys, who all looked awkwardly down at the table and didn't say anything.

"...How are none of you over there hexing that git into next week?" Dorcas asked worriedly.

"Sirius is dating him," Remus said through gritted teeth. It was becoming physically painful to say it, and every time he looked at the Ravenclaw table he could see Sirius' best flirting tactics at work. His stomach churned.

"...That's disgusting," Marlene muttered, shaking her head. "I think I've lost my appetite… and every ounce of respect I've ever felt for Sirius Black."

Lily hummed in agreement. "I didn't have much, to begin with, but there it goes…"

Remus groaned and stood up. "I can't watch this anymore. I'll be in the library. I wanted to get some studying done before the apparition test later anyway." He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder with one last look at Sirius and Gilderoy before he hurried out of the Great Hall.

"I don't understand why he doesn't just take Sirius back if it upsets him so much," Mary questions, watching sadly as Remus left.

James sighed. "It's… hard to explain." He and Lily exchanged a look and Lily stood.

"I'll go talk to him," she said, grabbing her things and taking a bite of toast. She also cast a look at Sirius and Lockhart and shook her head.

—-

Remus was sitting on the floor in the farthest corner of the restricted section of the library. Madam Pince knew him well enough not to question whatever he was doing and usually left him on his own to enjoy the peace and quiet where no other students were allowed to venture. He was far enough from the general area of the Library where anyone would be able to see him, and he had taken advantage of that fact by rolling a cigarette. He cast a spell to keep the scent from traveling and lit the end with his wand.

"Thought you were studying?"

Remus had never jumped so high in his life and began to choke on the smoke in his lungs. "Merlin, Lily!" He looked up at the redhead, still coughing and gasping for breath. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "You sure that's a smart idea before you take your apparition test?" She nodded to the burning cigarette between his fingers and Remus smiled cryptically at her.

"If I'm lucky maybe I'll splinch myself right there in front of everyone."

Lily sighed and sat down beside him. "That's not funny, Remus." She watched him silently as he took a hit and blew it out slowly, the smoke swirling before them before magically disappearing completely without a trace. "Why are you torturing yourself like this?"

"Lily, not you too," Remus groaned, closing his eyes and leaning back against a dusty bookshelf. "You know why-"

"No, I don't. And I don't think you really do either. I think you believe you're being noble and that you're protecting Sirius from whatever horrible thing you think you are-"

Remus laughed. "Lily, I'm a werewolf. I don't think I'm some horrible thing, I am some horrible thing."

"Remus-"

"No, look," Remus pushed himself up onto his feet, holding the cigarette between his lips, and stepped up to the bookshelf in front of him. His eyes scanned over the battered spines of the ancient books, the tip of his index finger brushing over them until he found the one he was looking for and pulled it out, carefully opening it and letting out a cloud of dust. "Ah, here we are. 'Werewolves; the most feared predators in Europe, go forth seeking whom it may devour.' Lovely." He said grimly, flipping through a few more pages. "And don't forget this little detail; 'Soulless, inhuman and damned for eternity, once cursed a werewolf's only desire in life is to hunt, kill and create others like itself.'" He closed the book and slid it back into its place.

Lily shook her head. "But Remus, that's-"

But Remus had grabbed another book from the shelf. "'The werewolf devours each of its own children, then its relatives' children in order of relationship, and finally the children of strangers.' Looks like I can never have children, Lily. Hell, I can't even go near yours if you have them. I might try to eat them." He laughed coldly and slammed the book shut, shoving it roughly back onto the shelf and reaching for another but Lily stood and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Remus… these books are ancient and outdated. They aren't even factual."

He sighed and looked over his shoulder at her. "It doesn't matter, Lily. That's still how the world views me. I won't find a job once I'm out of school and… let's say Sirius and I did stay together.., The Ministry would never allow us to adopt children if we wanted to. He deserves that chance, doesn't he?"

"Does Sirius even want children?" Lily said with a laugh. "I can't really imagine him with kids."

"I can," Remus said softly, a sad smile on his lips. Then he laughed to himself. "I don't think he knows it yet, but I think he will want it one day… and if that day comes, he should be allowed to have it without worrying about the stupid regulations put on his partner." He took one last hit off the tiny butt of his cigarette and magically made it disappear before rubbing his bloodshot eyes. "The last thing I want to do is bind him to me forever and take that chance from him. He's had enough of his life taken from him by selfish pricks that wanted to force him to live the way they wanted. I won't do that to him as well."

"Would you like to know what I think?" Lily asked after a moment.

"You're going to tell me regardless, aren't you?" Remus countered with a slight smirk.

Lily giggled and nodded. "You bet." She took both of his hands in her own, gently guiding him away from the bookshelf and sitting down where they had been before. "I could probably write a book about everything wrong with Sirius Black. He's arrogant and impulsive and conceited and I'm pretty sure nearly everyone in the school could come up with their own good reason to personally hex him, including you and Potter." Remus laughed a little at that and Lily smiled. "But Merlin, does that boy love you. I don't think you need to worry about him wanting anything that you can't give him, because I'm pretty sure you are all he wants. And I think that if he decided he wanted children, Godric forbid, he would find a way to make it happen… because Sirius Black does whatever the hell Sirius Black wants, and no one can stop him."

Remus laughed tearfully, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "Well, you've definitely got a point there…" He bit his lip. "But the whole mating thing-"

Lily let go of him with one hand and held it up to silence him. She opened her book bag and pulled out a book that looked old, but not nearly as old as the ones Remus had been reading. The book fell open to a page that Lily had marked with a spare bit of parchment. "Potter and I have been looking into this for months now. I thought we had looked in every bloody book in the school, but then I found this…"

Remus frowned at her. "Spending a lot of time with James, are you?"

Lily looked up at him sharply. "Not that it's any of your business, but we've been collaborating. We've just been worried about you."

"Sure," He drawled.

Lily cleared her throat. "Anyway, don't change the subject. Here." She pointed to a passage that had been magically highlighted on the page and pulled Remus closer to look for himself. The page had several charts and graphs including a moon cycle. "You don't have to if you aren't ready," she explained. "See, it's rather like… well, excuse the comparison, but it's similar to women charting ovulation to avoid getting pregnant. There are certain times of the month when you would be urged to make the bond. It's all to do with the way the moon phases affect the wolf part of you. The three days before the full moon and of course the day of, that's when the urge would be the strongest." She pushed the book towards him a little more and sat back to give him space. "It's amazing what they don't teach us in school, eh?"

Remus nodded, still looking over the charts in the book. It did make him feel a little better, to know he had more control than he thought, but then…

"Sirius wants it," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Or he thinks he does anyway… and you know how stubborn he is…"

Lily frowned. "Do you really believe Sirius would force you to do something you weren't ready for? Has he ever?"

He hadn't.

—-

"Mister Black, pay attention please!" Professor McGonagall snapped for the third time in the twenty minutes that all of the sixth years had been assembled in the Great Hall. "Apparition is very important and can be very dangerous if performed incorrectly. If you and Mister Lockhart can't take it seriously, neither of you will be getting your licenses."

Sirius pulled away from the other boy's lips with a very loud wet sounding smack and grinned at his head of house. "Sorry, Professor. I'm paying attention, I promise."

McGonagall eyed the two boys with disapproval and mild confusion before glancing across the room to where James, Remus, and Peter were sitting. The three Gryffindors just shrugged dismissively, clearly wanting nothing to do with their friend's current behavior. "Right…" muttered the Deputy Headmistress, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Well then, Mister Black, would you care to be the first one to come up and give it a shot?"

Sirius hesitated for a moment, his confident air wavering as he looked around at the mass of eyes watching him. "Erm… Yeah, sure," he answered, his voice jumping a notch higher than usual. He cleared his throat anxiously as he stood and groaned inwardly when he felt Lockhart's hand ghost over his lower back. He ignored it and walked to the center of the hall with the professor where two hoops were placed a few feet from each other.

"Alright, Mister Black. Apparate from this hoop to that one there," McGonagall instructed, sounding a little smug as Sirius suddenly felt sweaty and nervous.

"Right…" he muttered, stepping into the first hoop. "Easy enough."

"Glad you think so. Get to it, then," the Professor said with a smirk. "Just be careful not to get yourself splinched of course… And remember the three D's… But you were paying attention so you don't need me to explain that again, do you?"

There were some snickers from around the hall and Sirius took a deep breath, trying to zone them out.

Three D's, he thought desperately trying to recall what they had been. He had been too busy making sure Remus saw him with his tongue practically down Lockhart's throat to listen to what McGonagall and the instructor were saying. Destination, Determination… Debilitation? No that's not right…

"Mister Black?"

"Yes, Professor?"

"May I ask why you're still standing here beside me and not over in your destination hoop yet?"

There was more laughter around the room and Sirius scowled in the direction of Bellatrix and a few Slytherins who were making faces and hand gestures.

"Destination, determination, and deliberation, Mister Black," McGonagall sighed.

Sirius felt his cheeks go warm with embarrassment. He didn't know what he was so nervous about. He had read his textbooks. For Godric's sake, he had mastered becoming an animagus when he was fourteen, apparition couldn't be that difficult. Focusing on the destination, he squeezed his eyes shut again. He felt the room start to spin and the air felt like it was being sucked out of his lungs, his stomach lurched and he could have sworn his brain had been scrambled and unscrambled all within less than a full second. When he felt solid ground under his feet again his eyes shot open and he stumbled, tripping over his own two feet and falling heavily to the ground.

He heard Bellatrix cackle loudly and some other students laughed as well.

"Oi! I'll give you something to laugh at, Avery!" He heard James shout as the professors hushed everyone.

"That's quite enough," McGonagall said sternly. "That's a wonderful start, Mister Black. Success on the first try isn't common and it is difficult to remain balanced. You'll not want to open your eyes so abruptly next time, it can shock the senses. Now then, Everyone come down and find yourself a hoop…"

There were far more students than there were apparition stations, so they separated into groups. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lockhart heading toward him, but he pretended not to notice as James, Peter, and Remus made their way toward him and he sighed in relief.

"Well done, mate," James said with a grin. "I nearly shoved Avery's wand down his throat for laughing when you fell. I'd like to see him do any better on his first go."

Sirius forced a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fuck Avery. Thanks though."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, his eyes filled with concern as they looked over him. "You seemed really nervous."

"Yeah, I just… I was distracted."

"I could tell," Remus replied dryly. His face fell suddenly and a glimmer of anger flashed in his eyes as he looked over Sirius' shoulder.

"Siri!"

James and Peter snorted and Sirius felt his eye twitch. He turned to see Gilderoy standing with a hand on his hip, looking at him expectantly.

"Aren't you going to join me?" The blond smiled charmingly at Sirius but regarded the other boys with annoyance.

"He's already in our group," Remus said before Sirius had the chance to say anything. "And as you can see, Gilly, our group is full."

There was a moment where Remus and Gilderoy seemed to stare each other down. Again, the Ravenclaw flashed his perfect smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "Right then," he answered briskly, finally breaking from Remus' challenging glare to look at Sirius. "We're still on for tonight though, aren't we?" He hooked a finger in one of Sirius' belt loops and tugged him closer.

"Er, yeah… of course," Sirius replied, taking a step backward.

"Great. Good luck with your apparition, Siri."

He spun on his heel and strutted across the hall to a group of Ravenclaws. Sirius held back a shudder and turned back to his friends who were all staring at him with a mix of disgust and amusement.

"...Don't say a fucking word…" Sirius muttered and they went back to listening to McGonagall's instructions.

—-

Remus was trying as hard as he could to stay focused. This proved to be rather difficult when his eyes kept finding Lockhart in the crowd and noticing all the flirty looks the blond was throwing at Sirius. To make matters worse, much much worse, Sirius was actually returning them.

"Moony, it's your turn," Peter breathed as he made his way back to the starting hoop. He had managed to apparate on his third try, but he was looking a little green in the face as he leaned against James for support.

"Worm, maybe you should go see Pomfrey," James suggested, eyeing him warily. "You look like you're going to puke…"

Remus stepped into the center of the hoop. The buzz of the other students chattering all around him made it hard to put all of his focus on the destination hoop and he tried to tune them out as best as he could, once again hating his heightened senses that made him prone to overstimulation, especially under pressure. One voice, however, carried over all of the others.

"Well, of course, it was only a matter of time," he heard Lockhart saying to anyone who would listen. "After all, there's no one in the school as good-looking as myself as Sirius Black, is there?"

Remus took a deep breath and tried to shake off the anger tightening in his chest. It was just Lockhart, after all. Everyone knew the boy was all talk.

"I'm only surprised that he stayed with Lupin for so long. Though, I suppose it was probably part of the whole 'rebellious' act. It wasn't enough to be gay, he wanted it to be with someone that would really drive his parents mad."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

Picture the destination…

"It's true what they say about Siri, though."

Destination. Determination. Deliberation.

"It didn't take much to get a snog from him. Probably desperate for a decent kiss after being with Loony Lupin for so long."

Remus felt a growl forming in his throat and he could no longer picture the hoop he was supposed to apparate to. All he could about was how determined he was to deliberately punch Gilderoy Lockhart in the face.

"Did you know he's got his tongue pierced as well?"

The whole world felt like it was spinning and Remus couldn't hear anything but a loud whooshing sound rushing past his ears. His feet hit the ground and when he opened his eyes, he wasn't standing in the hoop, but right in front of Lockhart.

"Keep my boyfriend's name out of your damn mouth, you obnoxious prick." Remus' voice was deadly low and he towered over Lockhart who shrunk away from him. A bunch of students had stopped what they were doing to watch. James, Peter, and Sirius were shoving their way through the small crowd that had formed.

"Remus!" Professor McGonagall called, exasperated as she too made her way over. "You were supposed to apparate only to your designated hoop!"

The tension in Remus' body slowly released and the fear in Lockhart's eyes faded.

"Sorry Professor," Remus apologized, turning away from the blond. "Too much determination I suppose. I got carried away." He started to walk back to his own station and the crowd of students began to disperse.

"Obviously it'll take some time before he gets over being jealous of Siri and-"

All four of the Marauders would remember it in slow motion for the rest of their lives, but when it actually happened it was all quite fast. Peter claimed that if anyone were to have blinked, they'd have missed the exact moment when Remus swirled back around and his fist collided with Lockhart's jaw.

Gilderoy stumbled backward, holding his face in agony.

"By the way," Remus added coldly as he rubbed his duly aching knuckles. "He hates being called 'Siri'."

The entire hall gasped in shock.

"Bloody hell, Moons!" James exclaimed, beaming with pride.

"Merlin, Remus!" Peter laughed.

Sirius said nothing, his mouth open and eyes wide.

Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were both speaking but Remus only caught a few words like: "Never before!" "And from two Prefects!" "Detention!" "Both of you to the infirmary!"

—-

It was late when Remus returned to the dorm from detention that night. The entire day seemed like a blur now, and even though he had to write one hundred lines of 'I will not get in fist fights' with painfully bruised knuckles, he couldn't say he regretted it one bit. He was certainly ready to sleep and put it all behind him though.

He pulled back the curtain to his bed and was only slightly surprised to see Sirius sitting up against his headboard.

"Can we talk?" Sirius asked, looking at him hopefully.

"Sirius-"

"I know you're probably tired. But I… I don't think this can wait-"

Remus smiled and shook his head. "I was just going to tell you to let me change and brush my teeth first."

"Oh," Sirius said sheepishly. "Er… yeah."

Remus grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt from his trunks and disappeared into the bathroom. He returned moments later, climbing into bed and closing the curtains around them. He cast a silencing charm around the bed and stuffed his wand under his pillow.

"Remus, I'm s-"

Remus held up a hand to stop him. "No… Sirius, you have nothing to be sorry for. This was all my fault. I hurt you and I panicked and tried to push you away, and… that just hurt you even more…" He sighed and looked down at his lap. "We should have tried to figure this out together, as… as a couple. This wasn't just my problem, it was ours and you tried to tell me that and I didn't listen. I am so sorry, Padfoot. If I hadn't been so busy pitying myself and convincing myself that I was meant to be alone forever, this would never have gotten so out of hand. Can you forgive me?" He glanced up, meeting Sirius' eyes pleadingly.

Sirius was quiet for a moment, studying Remus' face thoughtfully. One of his hands reached up to gently cup Remus' cheek and he leaned in, brushing their lips together in a chaste kiss that gave Remus chills.

"Of course, I forgive you, idiot." Sirius laughed, resting his forehead against the other boy's. "I love you. Everything about you, Remus… even the parts that you think aren't worthy of anyone's love – especially those parts. You are so certain that my life would be ruined if I were bound to you forever, but I can't imagine a life where I'm not yours."

Remus' breath caught in his throat as Sirius' lips pressed against his again. He wound his arms around his neck, allowing Sirius to deepen the kiss.

Remus laid back against the pillows, bringing Sirius on top of him as their mouths moved slowly against each other. Sirius hooked his fingers under the hem of Remus' shirt and swiftly pulled it over his head.

They paused for a moment. Remus' fingers brushed over the scar on Sirius' throat and he flinched slightly,

"Sirius, I-"

Sirius' hand closed carefully around Remus' wrist. "Don't. I want this, Remus. I want to be with you."

Remus shook his head. "I… I know you do. I want it too, but… just… not yet?"

Their eyes met for a brief moment and Sirius smiled. "Whenever you're ready, Moony." He kissed him again. "As far as I'm concerned, we're soulmates. Anything else can wait."

"Sirius Black is actually going to wait for something?" Remus said with a laugh.

Sirius chuckled, moving to plant kisses down Remus' jawline. "I have until forever, don't I?"

"You're perfect…" Remus slid his hand through Sirius' hair. "And you're mine."

Sirius placed another kiss on Remus' lips in return. "All yours, Remus. I love you."

"I love you too…"

They kissed deep and slow almost lazily. It felt different. They were completely in sync with each other, slowly drawing out every move and feeling all the nerves in their bodies respond. With one last kiss, Sirius fell onto the bed next to Remus.

They both lay completely still, content in each other's arms. Remus' fingers gently stroked Sirius' hair and he pressed a kiss to the top of his head with a thoughtful hum.

Sirius smiled tiredly up at him. "What?"

"Well… I must say I'm a little disappointed. I heard you had gotten your tongue pierced…"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Where on earth did you hear that?"

"Lockhart," Remus smirked.

"Oh? Is that why you punched him?" Sirius asked, taking Remus' hand and kissing his bruised knuckles.

"I punched him because someone had to," Remus replied, rolling his eyes.

Sirius nodded. "I'm glad it was you that did it."

"Why?"

"Because it was hot." Sirius nuzzled against his neck. "Made me want to snog you right there."

"Mmm, well that would have been one way to get back together…"

"I liked this way better."

"Me too, Padfoot."

Heyyyyyy :)))

Wolfstar is back together y'all

Hope you guys all enjoyed! You can check me out at Via889. fanfiction on Instagram and TikTok. Also, you should definitely check out my podcast The Marauders (Olivias' Version) on which I read We Were Forever to my friend Liv on Spotify and possibly Google Podcasts. That Instagram is at themaraudersoliviasverion. Hope to see some of you over on the pod!