Chapter 6 – The Talk

Elliot's apartment was not far from the hotel. He had a ground floor apartment in a brown brick six flat. He answered the door and was in a black tank top with a pair of gray sweatpants. I suddenly felt wetness in between my legs as I took in his toned physique. It had been a while since I was with anyone, and it was going to be hard as hell to not jump his bones. He smiled when he opened the door and ushered me inside. I sat on his couch, and he offered me a glass of wine. He then sat on the opposite end of the couch and asked, "So, did you find the place ok?" I replied, "Yes, your directions were good."

He then blurted out awkwardly, "So, Liv, I really want us to rebuild our friendship and partnership. I know my explanation of why I left the way I did isn't a good one but it's the truth. Will you agree to allow me to call you regularly and start rebuilding your trust?"

I sighed, "I would love to have our friendship back. It's going to be hard though with you all the way in Chicago. I just don't know how that would work with the distance."

He looked directly into my eyes with sincerity and said, "Well, that's what I was going to talk to you about. I want to come back to New York. I don't want back at SVU with all that happened, but I want to work as a detective in a different department. I miss my other kids who are now starting families of their own. It will be hard to be away from Eli, but he can visit during school breaks, and I will try and visit him as much as I can. I know you will be leaving as soon as this case is over and the thought of that is painful." He scooted closer to me on the couch and grabbed my hand with his hand. "Please Liv, let me be in your life."

I was feeling overwhelmed but looking into his eyes caused me to not think about anything else but being with him. His face was right in front of mine and the air between us was thick with electricity. He could have asked me to jump off a bridge and I would have said yes. I leaned in closer until my lips were right in front of his, stared right into his eyes, and whispered, "Ok, El." He then grabbed the back of my head with his hand and urgently pressed his lips into mine. He was kissing me with more passion than anyone ever has before. I kissed him back by pushing my lips firmly against his and then pushed his lips open with my tongue. I could taste the remnants of red wine and I didn't want the kiss to end. My core was burning with desire, and I reached my arms around his neck and our kissing became frenzied. He then leaned me back against the seats of the couch never breaking the kiss and his body felt so good on top of me. I could feel his erection pushing into my thigh needing to be released. I removed his tank top almost frantically and rubbed my hands over his firm chest. He then leaned back and lifted my shirt off. I could see desire in his eyes as he looked me up and down but then the look suddenly changed to concern. He reached out and gently touched some of the scars right above my breasts. I realized what caused him to stop and was self-conscious about him seeing the marks from William Lewis. I automatically covered my chest with both of my arms and quickly put my shirt back on.

He reached out, put his arm around me, and said gently, "Liv, I'm sorry. You are beautiful. I just wasn't expecting to see so many scars. What happened?"

"El, I really don't want to talk about it. That was the worst time in my life, and I am still recovering from that experience."

He looked so worried and was staring at me as though I may just crumble to pieces right in front of him. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here. Just please tell me that whoever did this to you is dead."

"Yes, El, he is dead. Did you not hear about what happened to me on the news?"

He looked confused now and shook his head, "No, I had no idea. So, it made the news? I really want to know what happened."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I know it would probably help to talk about Lewis especially with El, but I hated for him to see me that messed up. Tears were now in my eyes, and I thought back to seeing Lewis standing there in my apartment with his gun pointed at me. I started from the beginning on how Amanda brought Lewis into the precinct, then how his case was declared a mistrial, how he broke into my apartment and then about the four days from hell when he held me hostage. I didn't even realize that I was describing every detail of the torture, but the words started flowing as the memories and images flashed through my head. I looked up at him near the end and noticed he was very pale and had beads of sweat on his forehead. I finished with how Lewis ended up dying months later when he held me and a young girl captive and then shot himself. El suddenly said he had to go to the bathroom. I could hear him retching and was shocked that my story had that much of a visceral effect on him.

He came out 10 minutes later with slightly more color in his face. "Sorry Liv, I cannot believe you went through all that and I felt sick not knowing about it and not being there to help you. I can't help but think that he never would have gotten to you if I had been there."

I reached out and touched his forearm, "El, I don't think you could have stopped him. Thinking about you and wanting to see you again is what kept me fighting. You did help me stay strong and fight back."

He reached out and cupped my face with one hand. "If I had known what you went through, I never would have pushed you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and your body is beautiful even with the scars. Those scars do not make me want you any less. If anything, I want you more because they show me how strong you are and make me want to show you how much I love you."

I smiled back at his kind words, "I am still in therapy, and I am not comfortable with anyone seeing these scars yet. I need to take things slow."

My phone suddenly rang, and I noticed it was Amanda calling me. I answered, "Hey Amanda, what's going on?"

She had concern in her voice when she responded, "Hey Liv, are you ok? You sound like you have been crying?"

"I'm fine Amanda, just laying some things out on the table. What's up?"

"Well, the Chicago squad and I have developed a plan to get some evidence on Ben Miller. We are going to set up an undercover operation. His victim profiles are young, blonde women, who are first responders. We have someone in the task force that fits that profile, so we are going to see if he will take the bait."

I huffed and said, "Wait a minute, no way Amanda. You are not going to risk getting drugged, kidnapped, and raped. There must be another way to catch this guy."

"Liv, I want to do it. We don't know when this guy will attack again and even if he does, he never leaves any evidence. We need to catch him in the act plus there will be plenty of back up nearby ready to step in as soon as he does anything."

I sighed, "Ok, well let's talk about it in the morning with the whole force and make sure we have everything covered and that you are fully protected."

She responded with too much excitement in her voice, "Sounds good Sergeant. See you in the morning. Are you sure you are, ok?"

"Yes, Amanda, I'm fine. I will see you tomorrow."

I ended the call and looked over at Elliot. I told him about the undercover plan with Amanda. He agreed that the plan was the quickest and most effective way to catch this guy. I told him that I was exhausted and needed to get some rest. He pushed for me to stay at his apartment tonight rather than going back to the hotel. He said he would sleep on the couch, and I could sleep in his bed. I said no at first but then he continued to explain that I would get more rest at his apartment then the hotel. I knew him just being nearby would make me feel safe and maybe I could get a full night's sleep without nightmares for once.