Ch 7

A month earlier…

Casual and friend fail-safe… The meaning of those words had gotten so blurred that either of them should have noticed. But they didn't. Instead, they created a bit of a bubble that expanded with every interaction.

"Ava… there's an obscene amount of ice cream in your freezer." They had been at Ava's when Beatrice had offered to get her a bowl of ice cream. She thought it would be an easy feat. She also thought it might be the quickest way to get her attention. She had been on some gaming campaign for nearly two hours. The sounds of things blowing up, guns firing filled the room even if Ava was wearing a headset. But she explained that the headset was to communicate with her team. Admittedly, Bea found it fascinating the precision with which Ava gave direction and maintained cohesion for her team. At least, it was apparent from all of the wins they had scored. And she wouldn't admit it, but it was a little hot.

"It is not obscene. It is a thing of beauty. And bonus, no one else eats it but me."

"I see. You're saying I can't have any."

"Well, noooo… You can have some. But Michael isn't here to eat it all. He's such a glutton for the stuff. I swear Cherry Garcia never had a shot at making it into the freezer at home. Jillian couldn't even unpack the car before it was all gone."

"I can hear you." The voice crackled from Ava's headset. She laughed. Bea was looking at the different flavors, different types. She was shaking her head.

"Is there one you would prefer right now?" Bea was looking like the containers on the screen were about to attack.

"Babe, you choose one."

"Did you just call her babe?" Michael's voice came through again. She was thankful Bea couldn't hear him.

"Michael focus. You have a target on your left trying to get behind us by going around the building. Take him out then move to the right."

"I can't believe you're playing while she's there. This is our us time. I feel ignored." Ava rolled her eyes.

"Please. I know Chanel is sitting on the couch next to you, asshole. She texted me twenty minutes ago asking me to let you die."

"She did not! Chanel!" She heard a muffled what. "Did you text Ava?" There was more muffled conversation. "The reservations aren't for another hour. I cannot believe you would betray me like that."

Beatrice walked to the couch and put a small container of cookie dough on the center table. She was thankful it was a glass table but still cringed that Ava hadn't gotten coasters. She set a napkin down and a spoon on top. Then she placed the napkin under the ice cream container. She had taken a container of some coconut gelato for herself that she figured wouldn't be as sweet. She had met Michael and Chanel a week before. They had gotten together for lunch at a café. It was nice. She liked Chanel. She figured meeting her brother was easy, casual. No strings. She hadn't met her mom Jillian. Meeting her would make it a little more serious. Her brother? Friends met siblings.

"Umm… Ava…" She heard Michael say her name. He had taken out the target and had been moving to the right on-screen when his character stopped moving.

"Further to the right… there's a…" A sudden explosion on the screen took out half her team. "What the fuck, Michael? To the right!"

"I got to go." Michael said.

"What?" We're not done yet."

"Nope. Got to go. I love you. Please don't hate me."

"Chanel took off her shirt, didn't she? Michael? Hello? Grrrr…. Fucker!" She took off her headset and hit the buttons on her controller to end the game. Beatrice had a spoonful of the gelato in her mouth when Ava looked at her. "Chanel plays dirty."

"They are dating." Bea smiled and watched Ava rip off the container's lid and dive into the ice cream.

"Hmm.. Good choice." She inhaled the first spoonful. Bea knew if she continued to do that by the third spoonful, she would complain of brain freeze. "She knows he's a sucker for her tits."

Bea coughed. "Seems like a family trait." She said in a low voice. Ava ate another spoonful.

"It isn't fair. We don't play as often as we used to. Is it too much to ask for her to keep her shirt on? I don't think so. I mean ok so they're nice." Bea choked and looked at Ava with wide eyes. "Relax. We've shared a dressing room or a hotel room when away. Nothing sexy."

"I see." She laughed. "You are something else, Ava Silva." She smiled at her. "I do not think I've known anyone in my lifetime that could casually talk about her brother's girlfriend's breasts with such… I don't even know what to call it."

"I'm puzzling and you love it." She put the third spoonful in her mouth. I do. Beatrice thought it but didn't put any weight on the words. Mostly cause Ava made a face and tilted her head back. "Damn it! Brain freeze!"

Present day…

Camila was having a busy night. The DJ for the night had a following and it showed. They actually had a line waiting outside. Lilith was manning the door as was a new woman named Crimson. Finley was behind the bar with her, Hans, and Dora. They had a steady crowd coming for drinks. She barely had time to chat with the regulars. The only ones she had taken personally were Beatrice and Ava. She was not handing them over to anyone else. She had watched them go on the dance floor a while ago and they hadn't stopped. She wished she was out there with them. Anytime they needed something from the back, she would send Fin, as she called him. He didn't seem to mind and was always friendly. She wasn't certain why she kept scowling when she thought of him.

She was aware that he hadn't done anything wrong. Neither had Lilith. But she was still jealous. She wasn't happy with herself for feeling that. She had no right. They were open. They had both slept with others before and it hadn't been an issue. But this seemed to be. She cursed as she overfilled a pint glass. Dora tapped her shoulder and told her to take a break. She was about to complain when she noticed one of the part-time bartenders coming on. She nodded instead and went to the back. She found a stack of liquor crates and plopped down. She could have gone up to the office and taken the couch for a bit, but she knew Suzanne and Mary were probably up there chatting. She liked Suzanne but she wasn't up for company. Not really. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" She said out loud.

"Nothing that I can see." Finley came out from the walk-in cooler. She yelped, not expecting him. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's… fine. Wasn't… thought I was alone back here." Camila wondered how she could have missed he wasn't behind the bar when she walked away. She noted the two bottles of champagne he was holding. "Running low?" He smiled.

"Yeah. There's a couple girls who are all about 'the bubbly' he didn't quite make air quotes but his face managed to convey the feeling. Camila smiled.

"Gotcha." He walked away and she let out a short, frustrated growl.

Beatrice couldn't remember the last time she felt so loose. She couldn't feel any tension in her body. It's the alcohol. She thought to herself but she caught sight of Ava in front of her. She watched as she danced to the music not a foot away from her. No. It's her. It's Ava. She reached out and grabbed Ava by the waist, bringing her closer. The brunette laughed and put her arms around Bea's neck. She was smiling and Beatrice couldn't be happier seeing her like this. She'd lost count how many days they'd spent together, how many nights Ava had spent in her bed. But it was always a wonder and a gift. That's how Bea saw it.

She had learned early on that Ava liked ice cream and she liked for Bea to try every flavor she tried. She liked sleeping naked or mostly naked, could spend hours in just a long t-shirt. She pretended to like crossword puzzles when she learned Bea enjoyed them. She drank tea but with honey and not milk. She loved all food except some seafood and what she considered smelly vegetables. She liked old movies with Beatrice but would watch reality tv with Camila who had developed a solid friendship with her. She despised running but did it anyway. She was a gamer. She could play Call of Duty and other brutal games, in Bea's opinion. She was good at them too.

At first, she was horrified but then she began to understand the appeal for Ava. It was about belonging, about being able to focus on something that required attention and some dexterity while not fearing that she would be her clumsy real-life self. The more she learned about Ava, the more she liked her. She never thought to address the casual part of their arrangement. Bea was pretty sure Ava wasn't seeing anyone else. And she herself didn't see anyone else.

Ava was pressed against her as they danced now. Their lips met and they allowed themselves some public affection. Something Bea wouldn't normally ever indulge in. But everything was possible with this woman in her arms.

"Will you tell her?" Suzanne asked Mary whose eyes opened wide.

"What? Me? Why?"

"Shouldn't she know?" She could see Suzanne was smiling. She didn't get to tease Mary often. Sure she would get flustered every once in a while but she always recovered spectacularly. Always a comeback.

"She needs to figure it out herself." Mary huffed. "I mean come on… this should be easy for her to see right?"

"Our Beatrice?" Suzanne laughed. "Are we talking about the same girl?"

"Shit. How in the hell am I supposed to say hey did you know you fell in love? Like, how would I even approach that?"

"That is the question." Suzanne finished her drink. "Perhaps we don't have to tell her outright. Perhaps we show them. Get everyone together for a dinner."

"Dinner? Yeah no." Mary shook her head.

"Mary."

"No. You know what that's like… I love them but putting them all in the same room… without distraction… Have mercy on me." Suzanne laughed.

"I swear sometimes the way you act… you love these girls." Mary didn't disagree.

"Doesn't mean I want to have dinner with them. Lunch maybe. But dinner means… sitting down and…" She knew it would often become a debacle on what games to play, or who to torment next.

"Being on your best behavior because Shannon will be there." Mary sighed, knowing she had lost this battle. "Do you wish me to call Shannon directly?"

"Dinner… ok." Mary shook her head. "You're pushy." Suzanne shrugged.

Camila had closed her eyes and was lost in thought when she heard someone approaching. She opened her eyes and saw it was Finley. "Do you need something else?" She asked, exhibiting a little annoyance. He stopped about a foot in front of her.

"It's not ideal… for you." He put his hands in his pockets. He was wearing tight jeans, a tight t-shirt and thin suspenders that were just for show it seemed. He looked good and he knew it. He wasn't vain. But he carried himself confidently.

"What?"

"Lilith and I."

"I'm not talking about this. Not with you." The little annoyance that had awoken when he first interrupted her was massive now. She was frowning.

"You're not talking about it with her either."

"What do you know?" She stood and went to walk away when he crossed her path. "You need to get out of my way." He shook his head. She went to push him, and he took hold of her wrists gently.

"She loves you." His words threw Camila. There was no reproach, no anger, no jealousy in his words.

"Wh.." She swallowed. "I know… I'm not dumb. I know she loves me. I love her. So what?" She looked up and met his eyes.

"I care for her. I do." He said. "But it's not the same." He moved his hands from her wrists until her hands were in his. "I care for her. Ok?" Camila was unsure of what was happening, so she nodded. "She's in love with you." Her jaw dropped and she shook her head no. "She is. She doesn't know how to say it."

"Lilith… she isn't."

"She is." He smiled at Camila. "She doesn't know how to put it into words. It's… Our parents tend to sometimes harm us, not really on purpose. Some parents don't know how to express things and they pass that on to their children. That is why she can't figure out how to say it."

"So, she sleeps with you?" Camila heard the words come out before she had a chance to stop them. She closed her eyes. "I didn't mean that. She can…"

"Yes, she can. Because that's what you agreed to, what you both agreed to." He brought a hand to her cheek. "She doesn't know how to say things, but you do." Camila bit her lip.

"Why are you telling me this? Don't you… don't you want her?"

"I do. But I also want her happy. And I am willing to do whatever I need to for that to be." He ran his thumb along her jaw. "You have to choose happiness." He leaned down a little. "You have to ask for what you want." Camila was looking in his eyes and she stood on tiptoes and he bent down further. Their lips met softly, tentatively. Then more deeply.

Ava couldn't have ever imagined feeling like this. The word happy didn't begin to describe it. Full? Maybe. I don't know. She heard herself laughing. Beatrice was holding on to her and it was heaven. Since they've been dating (Casual, just casual), she hadn't doubted herself. She felt strong. Beatrice never made her feel small or weak as others she had been with had tried, consciously or unconsciously. She let her be herself. She'd experienced something like this with Jillian and Michael but that was different.

That was a family love she'd yearned for since she'd found herself alone. They had pulled her into them and given her unconditional love as a mother and as a brother. It had given her dreams and hope for a life outside the confines of her accident. Even if Jillian could have never helped get her out of the chair, helped get her mobile, she would have lived a full loving life, she knew that. She would have been happy too. Their love for and acceptance of her was real.

Finding Beatrice had been, not only unexpected, but welcome, desired, and yes, needed. She hadn't known this want within her. This feeling of joy making someone else laugh, smile was euphoric. And she did it by being wholly herself. Beatrice didn't want her to be anyone else. She took her for who she was, how she was. She didn't ask for anything. She didn't expect anything. She didn't see Ava as someone who needed protecting or taking care of. She knew her history and it didn't change her treatment of Ava. There never was any hesitation or pause in how they enjoyed each other. Ok, maybe the running was a bit much. I don't mind a little work out here and there but the way she runs… her ass does look good. She brought her lips to Beatrice's neck. She kissed and licked as they danced. She felt more than heard the small moan. The music was too loud to hear her but the moan vibrated Bea's entire body. She felt hands gripping her shirt. Pulling back, she licked her lips and looked in Beatrice's eyes. She was rewarded.

Such darkness in those beautiful eyes. Pure lust. Bad Ava. She knew what buttons to push to get such reactions. Granted it hadn't been difficult to figure out. She couldn't understand how her previous lovers hadn't capitalized on what a sensual person Beatrice could be. The smallest of touches, of looks could undo her. Beatrice kissed her slowly and spoke her name. "Hmm?" Bea smiled and ran a hand through Ava's hair.

"I asked if you wanted to keep dancing or if you wanted to head upstairs?"

"Ms. Beatrice. Are you propositioning me?" She smiled, knowing the likelihood that this would be their last dance in the club. "What sort of woman do you take me for?" Beatrice touched her cheek.

"I take you for a woman that should be adored and worshipped. Although, feel free to correct me if I am wrong."

Camila pulled back on the kiss. "Wait… wait." Finley looked in her eyes. "I don't want you to want me because she wants me. Or because she loves me… or whatever."

"I don't."

"You don't what?"

"That's not what I meant by the kiss." He touched her face again. "I think you're incredible Camila. I enjoy you. The kiss wasn't for her."

"Then who was it for?" Her throat felt dry. She knew what she wanted, and it was a little scary.

"For me." Finley replied frankly. She was kissing him again before she even realized it. He lifted her up without a problem. Her legs wrapped around him. He held her up with one hand around her waist while he ran his other hand through her hair, down her back. His mouth taking all she was offering.

For the first time, they ended up at Ava's place. She had barely let them in when Beatrice started removing Ava's shirt. It wasn't like they didn't spend time there. Or that they hadn't had sex there. But they never ended a night there. Clothing was ending up in a trail on the floor as they made their way to the bedroom. They almost tripped on a pair of Ava's sneakers. She ignored it. She knew Ava was messy. Clean but messy. She didn't have a set place for any of her shoes even if they could fit in her closet or even under the bed. She was pretty sure the bed had never actually been made. Beatrice should have felt uncomfortable given her need for all things orderly, but she couldn't. She wanted this messy woman who had zero filters.

They flopped on the bed when Ava's legs met the edge. She laughed as Beatrice groaned against her neck. She could feel the need coming off her. Ava never tired of Bea's appetite for her. Her bra was up over her head before she realized it and she let out a moan when she felt lips on her right breast. "Bea." She said the name with such need. It was oxygen to fire. She could feel Bea's tongue against her hardened nipple, teeth scraping on the softer flesh. Ava's hands tugged at Bea's bra. She stood up and Ava felt her absence immediately. She took off her bra and took advantage of the separation to work them out of the few bits of clothing remaining. When their bodies met again, it was flesh to flesh. Heat. Every touch Ava swore would set her off. Somehow Beatrice knew the buttons to press to stop her from exploding just moments before. It was frustrating but so satisfying when the orgasm finally came.

Ava lost herself in the feeling of being loved. Of being ached for. Not for the first time, she wondered where Bea found the need for her, the want. It never faltered. God, I love this woman. Wait… hold up.. what? Shh.. stop thinking… no no that was kind of important… oh she'd doing the thing… what was I thinking… wait… oh my god….