"Voidlon, I know you said that we should get an Archon of our own." Mystle said, as calmly as she can. "But why did you want us to make a Nobody of Atar?!"
Sure enough, the X-Squad is deciding to do a ritual to make a Nobody of Atar, and unfortunately, the storm needed, hey, magic sometimes needs a lot of storms, might have been too much for the ritual and might accidentally drag an Atar out of another dimension.
"Hey! I don't know if this'll work or not!" Voidlon snapped, before resuming chanting, as the storm swirled around the circle and made a literal vortex, exploding as a girl resembling Atar, only with a more healthy pale skin, and a white outfit with a black glove appeared in front of them, before nomming on the ice cream Zap placed in the middle.
"So, is it good enough for you...erm...what do we call her?" Zap asked.
"Xatra. She shall be dubbed Xatra." Voidlon said.
"It's so good!" Xatra mewled as she continued nomming on the ice cream.
"Yep, she likes it." Voidlon said. "Welp, better grab some grub. And I just know where to go."
Dr. Destiny slowly transitioned from a miasma dream-world of writhing nightmares to the waking world, in which he was situated on some kind of medical cot. And to be honest, he would have rather stayed in the nightmares. Those, at least, were the comforting, familiar type of fright.
The last thing he remembered was that fish...thing... knocking him out in Arkham after saying hold still. And after that…
"Ah, good. You're awake."
Destiny cringed to see the onlookers: the same ones that broke into his cell, shrouded in shadow. In fact, it seemed that they'd turned off the lights on purpose so that they could hide in the shadows (an effect suggested by the smaller of the lot).
"Who are you?" Destiny gasped. "Where am I?"
"Me?" the fish man replied. "Why…I am but a humble scientist and medic, here to breathe new life into your very existence."
"The fish boy's Megafin, the rest are Birch, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Circe, Frollo, Killia, Zora, Yoomtah, Killia, Nabnab, Frexe, Raxeuk, Noxmar, Xone, Thorkell, Lützow, Atar, Gilgamesh and Ruru." the pirate said as he stormed into the light, "I'm Kronos, feared pirate and future dominator of worlds!"
Now Destiny could see him better. Sort of youthful. Blue. Obviously going for a pirate aesthetic, but with none of the undertones of the greats. The orderlies at Arkham were scarier than him.
"Well?" Kronos turned to face the unnamed one. "Your turn!"
"Do I have to?" the mysterious thing sighed.
"That's how it WORKS!" Birch insisted. "How are they supposed to know and fear your name if you don't introduce yourself in the most intimidating way possible?"
"Fine, fine…"
Now, Destiny couldn't explain why, but the bug man with the flamethrower was far more terrifying than any of the villains without even trying. "Call me Inferno," he said smugly as he stepped into the light. "You happen to be the latest success in Megafin's body of work."
"What have you done to me?" Destiny croaked hoarsely.
"Stabilized you," Megafin told him. "Or haven't you noticed the lack of a certain lullaby on repeat in your subconscious? I wouldn't think too hard about it if I were you. We wouldn't want to dredge anything up, would we? We literally had to put you through hell for that."
He was right. Any and all trace of Frere Jacques was gone – unless Destiny thought too hard about it. Which he quickly avoided doing.
"You should also find your new form... exhilarating," Megafin went on.
Destiny held up a hand. At his behest, it grew into the long, skeletal claw, gloved in blue and looked at the mirror, he was in his dream form. "You saved me," he realized.
"But of course," Megafin told him. "I worked tirelessly to balance you with my other incredibly vital projects in order to bring you back into working order so that you may properly assist Deadlight. It was my knowledge of human anatomy that allowed me to put you right."
"And I helped," Inferno piped up. "For the record."
Megafin sighed; "Yes, this lot was moral support."
"I'm cured," Destiny realized. A wicked smile crossed his lips; "Now, I can do as I please. And I think I'm grateful enough to you for this favor that I want to stay with your operation."
"There is one small catch," Vexen told him. "Regard your brain, a picture's on the right."
Destiny did so. On it was one item: a photo of his brain, which was mangled into atomic particles and reassembled into something resembling a pink glob, with a lot of wrinkles and tears.
He was nonetheless shook. So this was what it would take. His mind was shredded and reassembled. He looked forlornly back to Megafin, summoning up enough grit in his voice to complain: "This was the best you could do?"
"YOU THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT?" Megafin screamed, suddenly hitting a rage that frightened (and exhilarated) Destiny. "LEAVING A JOB HALF DONE, FOR UNRAVELING A MAN'S MIND AND HAVING TO REASSEMBLE IT TO GET RID OF A STINKIN MELODY?"
"So much for boundless knowledge," Destiny replied.
"Well it worked," Megafin went on. "I did disconnect you from that horrid lifeline."
"I mean…it's not that bad, when you think about it." Kronos shrugged. "So you have to live with being essentially mind raped. Lots of self-respecting villains do. So, you say you're a terror enthusiast, right?"
"It comes from watching so many of the classics in horror," Destiny revealed. "Penny worried I was demented for loving them. I guess in the end, she was right."
"Forget about her," Birch encouraged, noting the wistfulness in his voice. "She dumped you for taking up crime, right?"
"Yes."
"Hardly a real woman." Delphi folded her arms. "Now, a real romance is between two or more people willing to cause atrocities together!"
"And what about a friendship?" Destiny asked.
"Yeah, that too," Ink Blotch said, waving it off.
"I'd like to think this brought us closer as friends," Destiny told them.
"I just knew you'd be all sorts of fun." Megafin chuckled.
The squad arrived at the Seven Stars restaurant as Voidlon smirked. "Here it is, gang. Seven Stars! What do you think?"
"It looks amazing! Imagine all the sweet ice cream!" Xatra answered.
They then opened the doors to find a surprise. Someone was already in a battle with the owners. "Hey, someone jumped them." Mystle said.
"You don't say..." Weiss retorted.
There were 2 girls looking about the same age as Voidlon. One had dark pink hair under a big hat, with green clothing. The other had purple hair with a red suit. Voidlon immediately recognized them as Georgia the Dragon Buster and Burgundy the C-Class Connaisseuse from the Unova Region.
"Hey, wait. I know those two!" Voidlon said.
The squad looked at Voidlon in surprise. "You know those two?" Roman asked.
"Yeah. That one in the hat is Georgia, 'The Dragon Buster.' The other one is Burgundy, a C-Class Pokemon Connaisseuse. Both from the Unova Region, basically New York if it had a PETA problem, and they happen to be rivals of Iris and Cilan. I'm surprised to see them here."
Mera looked at the two girls battling with a raised eye brow. "I wonder if they're on vacation."
"And look at their Pokemon." Mystle took out her new PokeDex to look up their Pokemon Vanilluxe and Sawsbuck.
"Vanilluxe: The Snowstorm Pokemon and the evolved form of Vanillish. If both heads get angry simultaneously, this Pokemon expels a blizzard burying everything in snow. Sawsbuck: The Season Pokemon and the evolved form of Deerling. The plants on their horns change according to the season. The leader of the herd possesses magnificent horns."
"Vanilluxe, use Icy Wind!" Georgia commanded.
"Sawsbuck, use Bullet Seed!" Burgundy commanded as well.
Vanilluxe unleashed a blistering gust of wind at Snorlax with a direct hit and Sawsbuck shot seeds shining with energy at Munchlax also with a direct hit. Both Pokemon fell to the ground fainting.
Edmund and Kylie were surprised by their defeat. "Oh! My poor Munchlax!" Kylie exclaimed in distress.
The referee raised a hand up announcing "Snorlax and Munchlax are unable to battle! The victory goes to Vanilluxe and Sawsbuck!"
Georgia stood proud with hands on hips. Burgundy made a delicate pose with a wink saying "Now that was magnifique! If I do say so myself."
"I admit, we did make a pretty good team. Of course I would've done it on my own." Georgia commented with an arrogant smirk.
Burgundy puffed her cheeks narrowing her glaring eyes at Dragon-Type hater. "Excusez-moi?! Talk about arrogant and ungrateful!"
Edmund and Kylie approached the two girls to congratulate them. "You two young ladies proved to be worthy opponents for us." Edmund said as he and his wife-to-be bowed to them.
"I agree. It was an enjoyable battle." Kylie added.
"Now that you have defeated us, you will be allowed to eat in our restaurant. You both have earned it."
Burgundy made a smile and said "Merci beaucoup! I am starving!"
Georgia then noticed Voidlon and the X-Squad. She smirked and chuckled. "Well look what we have here! It's Voidlon, and it looks like he's brought some friends."
Burgundy looked behind herself with confusion. "Qu'est-ce? Hey, you're right! Must be on vacation like us."
"Hey. How's it going?" Voidlon greeted, waving to them in a cheerful manner.
"Yeah, hi." Georgia said, a bit awkwardly.
"So, who are your friends?" Burgundy asked.
"This little chaos group is the X-Squad, and our newest member, Xatra."
Burgundy took a bow. "Bonjour agreable de vous rencontrer."
The squad looked at Burgundy bewildered at her French words. "Uh... Come again?" Roman asked.
"That's French for 'hello, nice to meet you.'"
"Uh... Right. Nice to meet you too." Xatra said with an awkward smile scratching the back of her head.
Burgundy then placed a hand to her chest and raised a hand to the air. "I am Burgundy, I happen to be a tres bien expertise Connaisseuse of Pokemon recipes."
"I thought you're only a rookie." Georgia said with a smirk, making Burgundy feel degraded.
She glared at the Dragon Buster, fuming. "I'd rather you'd not mention that, vous l'esprit!"
"Um... I've never heard of a Connaisseuse. Is that a type of trainer?" Roman asked, a little confused.
"Connaissuse is a reference to females. Pokemon Connoisseurs are trainers who believe that a bond between Pokemon and their trainers are a form of recipes. And there are about four different classes of Connoisseurs. S, A, B, and C. And sad to say... I'm at C."
"Recipes? You mean like food?" Ridley asked.
"Well, yes. We do make delicious entrees as well. Mostly for Pokemon."
"And I'm Georgia, the Dragon Buster! Anyone who trains Dragon-type Pokemon, I face and swear to defeat!"
The squad looked at Georgia awkwardly. "Well, there's a girl with passion, and somewhat of a grudge, not sure what it is." Zinnia commented.
Voidlon then changed the subject. "So, you both on vacation too?"
Georgia crossed her arms and shunned in a pouting manner. "Not together, though we did coincidentally run into each other on our way here."
"Well, we've just came here for some chow, and maybe to get Xatra some ice cream." Mera said with a smirk.
"Well you girls are gonna have to battle Edmund and his fiancé in order to eat." Georgia stated.
"We know, we've seen it." Taylor informed. "In fact, we vote Taeko and Voidlon does the battle."
"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea." Edmund replied. "The rest may watch and once you two win, all of you may come in to eat."
Kylie then looked at Georgia and Burgundy saying "You two may go and enjoy your meal."
Georgia and Burgundy thought about it and then Georgia shrugged. "Actually, we would like to see those two duke it out."
"I agree. It would be nice to watch these two's Pokemon do battle and see how tangy the bond between them is, s'il vous plait." Burgundy added.
"Hm... Very well. You both may stay and watch if you'd like." Edmund said as he and his fiancé went to their side of the battlefield.
Georgia and Burgundy looked awkwardly at the X-Squad, who were menacingly holding glow sticks as they waved them around sporadically. "Well, they're enthusiastic..." Georgia said.
"Artemus, playtime!" Taeko said, as she threw a Pokeball to release a Golisopod, who clapped its claws together, chuckling maniacally. "So, what punks need a good thrashing?" The Golisopod said, in a surprisingly English voice.
"Nommy, curtain!" Voidlon said, as he threw a Pokeball as well to release a Gible, who chomped on his leg, as Voidlon giggled. "Are we gonna play, oh Arceus, please tell me we get to play!" Nommy said, in a girl's voice with a hint of a rasp.
Seeing these two Pokemon, Georgia took out her PokeDex to look the first one up. "Golisopod and Gible, huh?"
"Golisopod, the Hard Scale Pokémon and the evolved form of Wimpod. The shell on its body is as hard as a diamond. Its most powerful weapons are its claws, which it can extend and retract at will."
Edmund and Kylie threw their Pokeballs releasing Girafarig and Drifloon.
"Girafarig and Drifloon. Interesting."
"Girafarig: The Long Neck Pokemon. The head of its tail contains a small brain. It can instinctively fight even while facing backward. Drifloon: The Balloon Pokemon. These Pokemon are called the 'Signpost for Wandering Spirits.' Children holding them sometimes vanish."
"Artemus, use Bitch Slap on Girafarig!" Taeko ordered as Artemus slapped Girafarig a lot of times. "Yeetily deet, you gonna get beat!" Arcus said.
"Girafarig, dodge and use strength!" Edmund commanded as Girafarig did so and threw a big piece of the ground at Arcus.
"Oh my ass!" Artemus said.
"Duck!" Taeko called out a bit too late, as Arcus received a hit. "Are you okay?" Artemus jumped back up on his feet in response. "That shit hurt, but I've taken worse." He said as he rushed back in, which was followed by a Zarbon moan.
"Drifloon, use Shadow Ball!" Kylie commanded as Drifloon used its move.
"Nommy, dodge and use the you-know-what!" Voidlon ordered as Nommy smirked.
"I think you mean the EE-3 CARBINE!" Nommy shouted as she reached into hammerspace, pulled out Boba Fett's EE-3 Carbine Rifle and fired five shots at Drifloon, all of which hit due to both the trainer and Pokémon being too stunned to react as Drifloon was sent flying back. Kylie shook her head.
"What was that?"
"Girafarig, use Bite!" Girafarig charged with its tail.
"Counter it with Arson!" Taeko commanded as Artemus dashed up to Girafarig and fired a small stream of fire at it from his randomly appearing wrist gauntlet, charring it cartoonishly.
"Ch-ch-ch-ch fried chicken now!" He sang.
"Now Nommy, synchronize with Arcus and use Mexican Hood Jump!" Nommy smirked as Drifloon as Artemus rubbed his hand together. "You're the boss!" Nommy and Artemus said as they fired a series of blasts at Drifloon and Girafarig with randomly-acquired Glock 19s, then fired a rocket at their feet, uprooting them and sending the two Pokemon flying. They hit the wall and fell to the ground face first. The two shakily got up...then were immediately knocked out when Nommy hit Drifloon with a lightsaber and Artemus hit Girafarig with a chancla.
"Haha! Yeah! That's how ya do it, peeps!" Voidlon grinned as he high-fived Nommy as Taeko fist-bumped Arcus. Everybody but the X-Squad were staring in disbelief, wondering what the hell they just witnessed.
"Uh...Giragarig and Drifloon are unable to battle. Artemus and Nommy win."
Burgundy was astonished by Artemus and Nommy's battle techniques. "What..was that? The way those two Pokemon fought. Taeko and Artemus carry the essence and taste of pasta on spaghetti topped with melted mozzarella and pizza sauce, along with being flambeed into a surprisingly delectable taste, and Voidlon and Nommy have the sensation of a muffin that has a blueberry flavor to it with crunchy almonds inside and topped off with flour and sprinkles."
"Yeah, I'll admit they did pretty well out there." Georgia said. "Taeko may not be a Dragon-type trainer, but I would like to challenge her one day."
Edmund and Kylie approached the victors. "You've both fought magnificently."
"And for defeating us, you two and your friends deserve to come in to our dining tables." The two walked into the diner. "I...think I need to lie down for a while." Kylie mumbled.
"Agreed." Edmund uttered, in confusion.
"Well then! Boy, am I starving!" Voidlon replied as the squad walked in through the double doors seeing many people eat their chosen meals, but before they could, Kokone saw something behind them that looked like a Hypno. Kokone blinked, expecting for the image to be gone, but there it sat, swinging its pendulum–a gray stone with a hollowed center attached to a string–to and fro. Its cat-like ears perked up, and a long nose was nestled between two squinted eyes.
"Come, little children, come with me. Safe and happy you will be," the Pokémon sang, though its squeaky voice was hardly higher than a whisper. "Away from your homes, now let us run, With Hypno, you'll have so much fun. Oh, little children, please don't cry, Hypno wouldn't hurt a fly. So be free, be free, be free to play, come down in my cave with me to stay."
The squad's eyes widened.
"You can talk?" Kokone said. "You can't even move your mouth."
"Young lady, I'll have you know I'm a psychic-type Pokémon," Hypno said. "Therefore, I don't exactly need to have a mouth to talk." With that, he raised a hand and poked his head. "Oh, little children, please don't squirm. The ropes, I know, will hold you firm. Hypno tells you this is true. But sadly, Hypno can lie too."
"Oh, what?" Kokone said.
"Oh, little child, you will not leave," Hypno said, his voice low. His voice made the squad shiver even more. "For you, your families will grieve. Minds will unravel at the seams, allowing me to haunt their dreams. But surely, all of you must know one thing. That it is time for you to go. Oh, little children, you weren't clever. Now you shall stay with me forever and ever."
Just then, Kokone snagged a Pokeball from Voidlon's jacket, and booped it against Hypno's nose, making the Hypnosis Pokemon stare dumbfounded as this hasn't happened before, as the Pokeball halfway opened, showing out a red beam that encompassed Hypno, transforming him into the same energy. After the energy regathered in the ball, it closed and fell on the ground. After three shakes and the button blinking, a small click was heard.
"Well, guess that means...Mesmer's part of our group now!" Kokone said, as Georgia and Burgundy stared dumbfounded, as this girl literally caught a known serial kidnapper with one Pokeball.
After they ate, Ridley rubbed his happy belly as he commented, the corpses of innocent lives littered the diner, leaving Mesmer terrified, as he may have been a kidnapper, he knew that this was a tad extreme. "Mmmm... I like how delicious this food was."
Taeko giggled as she said in agreement, eating some burgers. "Yeah. It was so yummy, I was full before the last bite."
"You can say that again. I'm stuffed!" Hibiki said using a toothpick. "What do you say we go out for some sun?"
"Yeah, I'm ready! Though we might have to wait until after we digest." Stocking said smiling in embarrassment.
"I'm going to build a sand castle with Kokone when we get there. It'll be so much fun!" Yuina said happily.
Just then, they heard a ringing in their ear. As Jay, Vee and Enn got a message from an anonymous source, which they showed to the X-Squad.
"HEY THERE, THIS IS LORD SUZUMIYA SPEAKING. IT APPEARS THAT WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION RIGHT AT THE HINATA GIRLS DORMS! APPARENTLY, A COUPLE OF POTENTIAL MEMBERS OF THE SOS BRIGADE HAS BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE, YES, THAT'S RIGHT, HOSTAGE, BY A GROUP OF FOUR, MAN-HATING "SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS." AS FAR AS I COULD RECALL RIGHT NOW, OUR CURRENT HOSTAGES ARE NAMED KEITAROU, SHINOBU AND MUTSUMI. APPARENTLY, THIS SO CALLED "PERVERT PATROL" ARE HAVING FUN TORTURING THE POOR BOY (KEITAROU) FOR REASONS THAT INVOLVE SOMETHING ABOUT A "PERCEIVED PERVERT." BUT THEN, THEY DECIDED TO TAKE IT WAY, WAY TOO FAR BY TAKING THE TWO NICE GIRLS HOSTAGE (SHINOBU AND MUTSUMI), AND HAVE THEM FORCEFULLY WATCH KEITAROU'S PUNISHMENT, AS THEIR OWN!!! SO YEAH, THE TWO OTHER GIRLS ARE ACTUALLY NICE AND UNDERSTANDING TOWARDS KEITAROU THE MOST.
SO, BASICALLY, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO FREE THE HOSTAGES, AND DEFINITELY BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THESE MAN HATING DOUCHEBAGS!!! TO DO THIS, YOU'LL BE PROVIDED AID BY A ROBOT BEING SENT TO YOUR LOCATION! LORD SUZUMIYA OUT!!!"
"Welp, guess we have a hit." Voidlon said, smirking, knowing the deity known as Haruhi Suzumiya has personally given them a bounty, as a green robot dropped onto the table beside the squad's, as it tumbled off.
"Well, guess we'll find out if we can take these SJWs or not, pretty sure the robot can't-" Voidlon started until the robot woke up and started speaking...
"There is no LADY that I cannot handle," the robot scoffed in a strangely posh voice. "Also, I, Raymond Boxman, know exactly what tactic you're trying, and unfortunately it's working."
"Pretty sure they ain't ladies," Mystle said. "My guess is they're monsters."
"Did I mention there's no monster that I can't handle either?" Raymond smirked. "I suppose the Super Extravagant Shopper Sale Extravaganza does span three days…and I can't really walk away now that I have something to prove…fine. I'll help murder these supposed 'SJWs', and I'll show you how ridiculously easy it will be. Why, in fact, I bet I can have them wiped out quickly, and then I can resume my original itinerary!"
"Wait, if we're doing this, we're doing this right! With my other cousins!" Voidlon said, pulling out his cell phone and making a few calls.
Junko Enoshima was writing in her journal all the things she was seeing while at the airport. She broke out in a grin and looked up. Right in front of her was a girl her own age who looked very similar.
"Ah, Mukuro!" Junko said as she gleefully embraced her twin sister.
Mukuro Ikusaba had been gone for some time, and finally had a chance to return to Japan.
"It's been so long, Junko!" Mukuro said, "I got the call a few hours ago."
"Yeah, I got one too," Junko said.
They hopped in a limo heading for Section 8.
"So what talent did you get known for?" Mukuro asked, sipping some seltzer from a glass.
"It's pretty fucking hard to quantify my analytical talents," Junko admitted. "Especially since it's closely tied to my Stand. Instead I got the school's attention for my amazing gift for keeping up with the latest trends. I'm officially the Ultimate Fashionista."
"Not surprised," Mukuro said, "You're known for making the covers and centerfolds of all the latest fashion magazines. As for me, my work with Fenrir was recognized, making me the Ultimate Soldier. So who else is joining us?"
"We'll find out soon enough," Junko said as she kept writing in her journal. "But I can guarantee they won't be boring. After all, I hear the X-Squad is pretty crazy."
Just about four other people received this critical message from that crazy yet lovable Haruhi. That was all she needed, in fact. And even more thankfully, they were the ones who were specifically fit to help the squad on this rescue mission.
This particular group consisted of a 12 year old silver haired half-elf mage, an androgynous cross-dressing "detective prince," a brunette pigtailed girl, and a tall, raven-haired Military Colonel, who are now staring at the entrance to the infamous place that is known as the Hinata Girl's Dormitory, preparing for this arduous, but strangely hilarious task.
"So, this is where our hostages are being held..." The tall, Dark-haired man rang in a deep voice. "And it's quite a shame, too, since our 4 wanted captors are indeed irresistibly alluring to every man's eye... ESPECIALLY mine..."
"So, you're a thirsty boy?" Roman said, surprised. "Maybe we can head to the Peppermint Hippo and get you laid."
"Hey, Col. Mustang, you've been thinking too much about that Lust chick." The detective girl remarked in the most masculine voice she could conjure, as she cocked the hammer on her pistol. "You just can't seem to resist anyone with those 'nice, appealing big boobs' you always fantasize about..."
"Hey, at least I had the dignity to incinerate that homunculus bitch, and for good reason too!" Col. Mustang replied in response. "Besides, she was going out with Havoc at that time!"
"Yeesh, love's a deadly game, it seems." Lune retorted.
"Alright, alright, let's not kill ourselves already!" The silverette boy replied, as he whipped out a Kendama. "This rescue mission is already dangerous enough. And Col. would you please stop trying to be like that obnoxious red-headed chosen one I had to deal with?!"
"Oh... yes, you're right..." The Colonel answered. "Yes, Genis, the less we talk about that chosen ass, the better!" The detective girl remarked.
Just then, the brunette pigtailed girl had her moment to speak, after she brushed her ear upon the door. "Hey, is it just me, but do I think I'm hearing something... ...no, make that someone being tortured..."
"Tortured, hm?" The boy named Genis asked, as he neared the front door. "Hmph. Sounds like the girls are already having a fun time."
The detective prince sarcastically smirked, as she walked up to the door to take a listen as well. "At least I'm not that self aware of my 'purity', unlike those four idiots, don't you think Alicia?"
"Oh, Naoto-chan..." the brunette responded back. Only Col. Mustang stood behind. "Sheesh, what the hell with wrong with man-hating women these days..." He groaned...
And it turns out, the Alicia brunette was right about the "torture..."
"Scry eyes, don't fail on me now." Voidlon said, tapping into his devil eyes to see where the hostage was.
"HEY GUYS, C'MON, I SAID I WAS SORRY!!! LET ME GO ALREADY!!! PLEASE!!!" Our boy Keitarou here is in quite of a pickle, yet again, as he is stringed by the groin up like a pinata, and has already received several beatings from the aforementioned "pervert patrol."
"HELL NO WAY, YOU DISGUSTING SLOB!!!!" A pissed off brunette snarled angrily. "THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME YOU'VE SET YOU'RE PERVERTED EYES ON US DURING OUR BATH!!!"
"GUYS, HOW MANY TIMES I'VE TOLD YOU, IT WAS AN ACCID-"
"SHUT UP!!!" Yelled another member, striking poor Keitarou on his ass with her wooden blade. "YOU VILE MALES ARE ALL THE SAME!!!"
"Oooowww... Naru... Motoko..." The other two girls, a sleazy looking alcoholic and a small child armed with a laser cannon, both with racially questionable accents, are keeping guard over our other two hostages, Shinobu and Mutsumi. They too are bonded and gagged, as they were struggling to shout out desperate cries of support for Keitarou and, of course, for help.
"AND AS FOR YOU TWO!!!" The small child sneered at the two, preparing her laser cannon to "stun." "IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT MITSUNE AND I TAUGHT YOU A THING ABOUT BEING A SYMPATHETIC PANSY TOWARDS A PERVERT! HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!"
The two girls screamed in a muffled panic. "Now now, Suu, let's not get too excited..." The drunken Mitsune drolled out...
"Yep. I've confirmed that our hostages are being held around the 3rd floor landing." Alicia stated, somehow she analyzed where the screams came from.
"Man, being the 'Social Justice Warriors' they are, of course they have to be extremely loud and obnoxious." Genis remarked in annoyance. "Obviously, I wouldn't blame you, Genis..." Naoto replied.
"That reminds me," Mukuro said, "Do you think he might have a thing for Genis?"
"Nah, she's gay as fuck," Junko assured her.
Mukuro was confused, but then realized something.
"Naoto's a girl!?"
Junko chuckled as Naoto facepalmed.
"Not easy to tell at first glance, is it? She's almost doll-like. But the fact that her manner of dress is too androgynous, even her uniform, gave it away."
"Now, let's figure out how much this needs." Voidlon said.
(No more than seven ounces.)
(Oh god not again! How much in American?!)
(Well let's see...uhh...Carry the seven...)
"Fuck it! We use all of it." Deadpool said, as Kenny gave a lot of globs to add to the stickiness.
"Bist du verrückt, dummkopf?!" Weiss exclaimed in German. A look of horror then appeared on her face. "No! I thought I got rid of that horrid verbal tick!"
"I didn't know you were German, Weiss." Mystle said, pleasantly imagining Weiss speaking German between her legs.
Weiss looked tiredly at her girlfriend. "Mein last name is Schnee, du entzückender teufel Dummkopf!" (You adorable demon dunce!) Gah! Stop it!"
"Okay everyone, let us not just stand there gawking like statues..." Col. Mustang ordered his companions. "Let us already commence our rescue mission. First of all, I want all of you to stay back with me!"
All three of them ran over to the Flame Colonel, whom he is smiling viciously, while steadying his reactive cloth glove. "Things are about to get a little ... 'action-packed' for a moment... ...I'd also cover your ears if I were you..."
"Mister Big!"
In Mukuro's hands appeared a large rifle with attached scope. The rifle fired bullets made of Stand energy, but they didn't necessarily hurt enemies. They could cause serious afflictions or heal allies. Mukuro used this last ability to crank Mustang's power into overdrive.
He then turned his glove covered hand towards the door...and snapped his fingers.
Immediately upon contact with the Colonel's spark, the front doors to the Hinata Girl's Dormitory exploded in an enormous fireball, the doors literally turning into kindling.
"AH!!!" Naru, the angry brunette shouted, as she and the other 3 girls nearly tumbled upon the startling vibration that was similar to an earthquake. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!"
"OOowwiEEeeEEEE, MY EARS!!!" Screeched Suu, the small dark-skinned child, holding her ears as well. A few seconds later, just as all four of the girls were starting to regain their posture, they heard two new, totally unfamiliar voices rang out... and when I said "totally unfamiliar," I meant one being very, very masculine the other being Voidlon's...
"ALL RIGHT, HINATA PERVERT PATROL! PLAYTIME IS OVER!"
"THIS IS THE X-SQUAD! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"
"YOU RELEASE ALL THREE HOSTAGES RIGHT NOW, OR THERE SHALL BE CONSEQUENCES!"
"AND SAID CONSEQUENCES WILL CONSIST SOLELY OF UNDENIABLY BADASS ASS WHOOPING!"
"UGH!!! MORE MALE INTRUDERS!!!" Motoko growled at the new threat. "Battle stations, everyone!"
Meanwhile, the X-Squad, Raymond, Genis, Naoto, Alicia and Col. Mustang have walked into the utterly demolished entrance hall, looking ready for battle as the hall burnt down around them.
(C'mon, admit it! It was awesome!)
(Told you. Twenty ounces. That was pretty sweet, though.)
"All right troops, split up and search everywhere for the hostages! If you come across any of the pervert patrol about to attack, then don't hesitate to fight back!" Col. Mustang barked out his command, as if he were in an actual military operation.
"Well, I have a plan. We stick together and search each floor, should any of the Perv patrol show up, we (various expletives) sixteen liters of custard (various expletives) jelly sandwiches all night (various expletives) bus conductor (various expletives) nuke from orbit (various expletives) your salad and (various expletives) lick all of your (various expletives) before taking out the various expletives) chicken nuggets (various expletives) ratio into oblivion and (various expletives)ing them with more teeth in an anti-clockwise motion (various expletives) with a copy of Gardner's Weekly (various expletives) side order of rice (various expletives) six Filipino boys (various expletives) Noel Edmunds (various expletives) whilst choking ourselves until they scream (various expletives) like fucking babies." Voidlon said.
"What a colorful way to describe pummel everything in sight into a fine paste," Mukuro said, amused.
"Oh," Roy said, "So nothing kinky."
"Don't ask, this was in the family for a while, it gets pretty weird." Junko explained.
And so, the campaign begins...
"We'll take whoever's coming down the stairs!" Genis yelled, as the squad made a dash for the stairs leading up to the second floor, only to immediately halt halfway up the first flight. "Oh Martel..." he pleaded, as he began to shake his Kendama, allowing him to cast a spell. "Please give me enough time to fully knock out what bitch is coming towards me..."
"A-HEM!!!" The half elf, while still shaking his Kendama, jolted in the direction of the source of the scary new voice; An extremely irate and arms-crossed-on-chest Naru. "Just WHAT do you think YOU'RE doing here, you little perverted twerp?!" She demanded.
Of course, being the master of sarcasm he is, he gave Naru a sneering deadpan stare, and said "Oh, I'm just standing there, playing with my favorite toy. What's It look like to you, you stupid cunt?" That little remark just about pushed Naru over the edge...
"EXCUSE ME?! WHY I OUGHTA TEACH YOU A LESSON ABOUT RESPECTING WOMEN, YOU IGNORANT BRATS!"
"LIGHTNING!!!"
Unfortunately for her, just as she was ready to deliver a good whoopin' to their heinies, a bolt of mana lightning had struck Naru dead on as the X-Squad mowed down Naru. Momentarily stunned by the magic and bullet hell, her carcass tumbled down the rest of the stairs, falling flat on her face at the bottom. "Well well well..." Genis giggled at her expense. "It looks like you're not exactly fit for an electric personality!" He laughed maniacally as the squad fled up the stairs.
"Hmm..." Naoto murmured as the squad walked down the empty lounge/study area, her pistol locked and loaded. "I just hate it when things get a bit too quiet here..."
In this situation, the term "too quiet" is something that would spontaneously not exist...
Naoto was indeed taken by surprise by the sound of the ceiling collapsing behind her, as she swung her gun in a particular direction. And there, striking a badass pose amidst the debris, was the Samurai girl Motoko.
"JUST AS I THOUGHT..." the swordswoman growled at Naoto. "You're one of those straight out perverted as hell types of males! YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!"
Apparently, Motoko is blissfully unaware about Naoto's true gender, so the latter easily took advantage of the former's bravado. "Now now, that's no way to talk to a police detective..." She sneered in her most masculine voice possible. "Police detective?!" Motoko shouted in response. "HAH!!!! More like the perverted panties inspector to me!!!" She then whipped out her Katana in the most badass way possible... as in so badass that she created a bursting gust of wind. "And now, it's time for you to prepare..." She leapt up into the air... "TO DIE!"
It looks like she is about to land an epic hit...until she found herself suddenly jolted back down to the ground by a sudden shock, her sword flung out of her hand. "...Wha...what?!" The disarmed girl gasped in disbelief, struggling to get up. "My gust attack... ...didn't work... against... you?!"
"Hmph! Didn't your mother always tell you..." Roman sneered at Motoko, his Melodic Cudgel smoking from the shot. "...you should never, EVER, bring a knife to a gunfight?! Hmm?!" He concluded as Naoto slowly lowered her foot onto Motoko's stomach, pinning the Samurai from getting up, whom she snarled "You sunuva..." before tying her up to the ceiling.
Junko was still writing in her journal. What most didn't see was that many of the words being written were writing themselves. In fact, the journal was actually her Stand, Centuries. Whenever she wrote observations in it, it would write back with insights based on those observations. It worked well with her eidetic memory. She then noticed Motoko struggling. Mukuro and Voidlon giggled as Junko started writing down how cute ahe was, and blushed when her journal wrote back the high probability of them becoming an item.
"Don't laugh!," Junko said as she elbowed her sister, "I know you've been making goo goo eyes at Lala."
Now it was Mukuro's turn to blush.
"Okay, sure. We head to the deep dark basement area. How clever of me." Col. Mustang sarcastically grumbled to himself, as he, along with Julie, Ridley and their sect of the X-Squad, searched the said location. "Why does it feel like something cataclysmically bad is always going to happen in these types of areas?"
And given through the hell he had to deal with in the "basements" they found themselves in, it's not exactly easy to blame him. After trudging through the basement for a few minutes, he heard something... weird... he turned to the source of that weird sound; it was something that had him flinging out his wrists; a pair of tiny, red, robotic eyes... and then another pair... and then another... and then two more... and then eight more... and they suddenly pop up everywhere... A startled Raymond jolted from the sight of all of these laser eyes surrounding him, his vine whips ready to mangle. "What in the name of all that's sacred are these things?!?!" He barked at the ominous sight.
"Well well well, you naughty, naughty bot!" A girlish voice rang out from the darkness beside him. "It looks like you came in at the right time for me to test out my new toys!!! Hee-hee-hee!"
And the basement light suddenly went up. And there stood the one and only Kaolla Suu, grasping a radio controller, right in front of them. And the tiny, red eyes? It was her army of robot turtles! Raymond finally regained his cool demeanor. "Toys, hm?" He smirked at that amusing picture.
"If you are absolutely so sure about this, then let's see how long your toys would survive my precise pinpoint aiming!" And with that, Mustang pointed his arm to the first robot turtle that was flying towards him, and snapped his fingers. And just like that, the poor robot turtle was blown into oblivion, upon hitting the Colonel's spark.
Suu and the rest of the turtles, understandably, were in a deep, utter shock. "My... ...my toy... ...my favorite toy..." she squeaked, as the X-Squad immediately fled.
That left them wandering around in the kitchen/dining room area, with weapons in hand. "Man, this is such a drag." Alicia muttered. "And to think I just gave up my rifle after that war back at home..." "HEY, YOU!!!" A slurred, drunken voice erupted. Alicia turned around to see Mitsune, who was lazily carrying around an empty bottle of Sake, assuming that she downed the whole thing. "Uh, excuse me?" Hosshiwa retorted. "Why are you drunk?"
"Drunk?! DRUNK?!?!?!" Mitsune drolled out. "AH, HELL, THIS IZZ HOW I *HICCUP* PREPARE TO DEAL WITH DIS *URPB!* DISGUSTIN' BOY SLEAZERS LIKE DA PERVS AND TRAITORS... *HICCUP* YOU ARE!!!"
"Uh, okay..." Mera responded back to her. "I am not sure, but I don't think it's a really good idea to down that much wine before picking fights..."
Mitsune ignored that statement, as she lurched towards Alicia. "AW, C'MON, SUGAR!" She slurred. "SAKE MAKES ME FEEL BRAVER THAN THE BRAVEST MAN WHO GONE TO-HOO-HOO FIGHT, YA'LL!!!" She was about to throw her arm onto Alicia's shoulder, until she found herself staring at the receiving end of the Brunette's rifle.
"EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU DO NOT PLACE YOUR HANDS ON A GALLIAN SQUAD 7 SOLDIER! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE SERGEANT."
"Aw, c'mon... I... I wash about to make... um... uh... some uh... negotiations, uh? How you like that, honey?"
"Hmmph..." Alicia has had enough with this bullshit. She took aim at Mitsune's foot.
"YYOOWOOOOHHHH!!!!!" Mitsune shrieked in horror, grabbing her severely wounded foot that Alicia shot, bouncing around like the drunken lunatic she is. "WHAT THE HELL DID'YA DO THAT FOR, HONEY, I USE THAT FOOT FOR MOVIN' AROUND... AND STUFF!!! OWWW!!!"
"Well, maybe you should've thought about it before you placed your hands on me!" Alicia reprimanded as Mitsune was still bouncing up and down as the squad headed to the 3rd floor. "Jeez, I still can't believe those damn imperialists weren't perverted like this!"
Meanwhile, at the third floor landing...
"Hey, uh, Shinobu, Mutsumi..." Keitarou, still tied up like a pinata, asked the two captured girls... "I wonder what on earth is going on downstairs..."
The only thing Shinobu could reply with is a muffled answer of not knowing the shenanigans going on downstairs. Keitarou continued.
"You know, I thought I heard some explosive stuff... you know, gunshots and stuff like that..."
Little do the 3 of them know that the noise is actually coming from their saviors... and they're about to burst into the room...
All of the sudden, the X-Squad burst up from the stairs, leading to the 3rd floor landing, where Keitarou, Shinobu and Mutsumi were being held. Upon seeing our soon to be freed hostages, Genis breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
"Whoo... and I thought we'd be dead before we even reached you guys..." he then whipped out his communication device... that had seemed to come out of nowhere for some strange reason...
"Kendama Kid to Dead Jackal. Kendama Kid to Dead Jackal. Do you read me, over." "Of course, I read, over." A voice from "Dead Jackal" said in response. "Any news?"
"I have located the whereabouts of our hostages, and I am about to rescue them! Over!"
"Great! I'll inform the extraction team then! Over and out!" the boy then whipped out his Kendama again, and cast his wind blade spell on the rope that was suspending Keitarou in the air. Needless to say, he did fall flat on his face. "Ouch! Could've used THAT without the extra abuse already, wouldn't you think?!"
"Hey, don't ask me..." Genis snarked in response, as he began to unbind Keitaro's wrists. "You could just ask for them to be less strenuous with the ropes." With Keitarou finally being freed. it was now Shinobu and Mutsumi's turn to be free. "Aw, Keitarou..." the latter smiled, as her gagger was separated from her mouth, the ropes removed from her body.
"OH, thank you so much..." Shinobu gasped as Genis did the same thing to her. "I wouldn't think that Naru and the others would go and be like THIS before..." "Of course, it's not your fault." Her rescuer said. "After all, I just so happen to be the token kid who acts way more mature beyond my age as well."
At last, the hostages were free and standing. "Don't get too comfortable yet, guys." Genis ordered, as he gripped his Kendama even firmer. "The escape route is not necessarily easy as it seems."
"Well, very well. Just need to take care of the broad here." Mystle said as the squad got the hostages to the safe zone, Motoko couldn't believe what she was hearing. "BROAD?!" She snarled at Naoto, who playfully taunted. "You know, for being such a traditionally well disciplined warrior girl, you sure tend to be naive to the world and utter conveniences of modern technology..." "YEAH, LIKE I'VE HEARD THAT ENOUGH TIMES BEFORE!" With that, she took a mighty swing at Naoto's ankle, causing the detective prince to take a tumble to the ground, as Motoko rushed back to pick up her precious sword. "I just so happen to come from a legendary martial artist family of DEMON HUNTERS and EXORCISTS!!!" She bellowed at the fallen Naoto, grasping her sword, conjuring up enough ki energy for combat. "AND NOW, JUST FOR YOUR IGNORANCE, YOU SHALL PERISH!!!"
"Demon Hunters, hm?" Naoto recognized the word demon immediately.
"You know, I may have to break a few rules, but..." She held aloft what appears to be her glowing, spinning blue Arcana card, representing her Persona. "I might as well use you again, Yamato-Takeru." She grunted as she struggled up back to her feet, with Motoko growling yet another nasty threat.
"HMPH! Think you could TAKE ONE MORE SHOT AT ME?!? WELL, THINK AGAIN, YOU DISGUSTING BOY!" With her Ki energy fully charged to the limit, Motoko leapt up to the air again, about to epically slam her blade onto her victim, until...
"PERSONA!!!"
Without any further explanation, the demon Yamato-Takeru suddenly burst in front of the falling Samurai girl, despite not being in the midnight channel. And by the looks of it, Motoko was totally, totally unprepared.
"A... A DEMON?!?!?!" She gasped, as she attempted to wrangle her way out of this one, as Monty got up to the front and looked at her, confused and chuckled awkwardly as he waved his new turtle toy at the girl. The girl froze for a moment before...
"TURTLE!!!!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!" The samurai girl cried as she burst through the hallways, only to hit her head on a door that Ridley had opened to see what the hell was going on, knocking her out cold. In a matter of 5 seconds, Motoko Aoyama, the token resident badass of the Hinata girl's dormitory, was defeated, and tied up, her battered, slightly shocking and singed body lying on the ground, swirls in her eyes as she mumbled about where did the demon gator come from as Mystle carried her. "Hmph. Shame that your family isn't familiar with the demons we had to deal with." Mystle triumphantly smirked, as she dusted herself off.
"Hell, you can't even get through my demon world portal safely." Naoto chuckled, as the squad ran to the exit.
"Now I bet you're wondering what that is," a new, unknown voice chimed in.
The squad whirled about to see quite a strange sight indeed. The creature that had crept up on them appeared to be an amalgamation of several different animals: his body was furry, his tail scaly, his head horned asymmetrically, his left front leg a paw, his right front leg a talon, his lower legs a reptilian claw and a bovine hoof respectively, two mismatched wings protruding from his back. Voidlon recognized his as easily as anyone had; this was a draconequus, and this draconequus was making himself comfortable reclining on a hammock that was held up by absolutely nothing and hadn't been there before. "Well?" he reiterated. "Aren't seasoned sorcerers like yourselves just itching with curiosity about what kind of magic could be in that tree?"
Genis didn't like his teasing tone. "And you are…?"
"Oh, just one of Equestria's many colorful inhabitants," the draconequus replied. A tall glass of limeade appeared in his talon, a crazy straw sticking out. He swished the drink around for a few moments before taking the straw out and biting off a chunk of it. "Who happens to know a thing or two about magic."
"This is some kind of trick, isn't it?" Yuina asked, raising a brow.
"Why, not at all!" After he finished off the straw, the draconequus proceeded to start drinking the glass from around the limeade, which had solidified into a cylinder. When he finished, he crushed the limeade in his hand like an aluminum can, dropping it to the ground, where it caught on pink flames. "I just thought that since you were new here and all, you might appreciate having somepony show you some of the ropes, you see," the draconequus continued, "I have a particular history with that tree you're looking at. Once upon a time, I was a very, very bad draconequus. Can you BELIEVE I even tried to take over this world? Oh, but that's all behind me now. I've learned my lesson. I am a reformed Discord!"
Something in his tone led his listening audience to be skeptical.
"That's my name, by the way," the draconequus went on. "Discord. What are yours? No, wait, don't tell me. You look EXACTLY like an X-Squad. Am I close?" Discord winked.
"Yeah, actually," Mystle said.
"DAMN YOU! WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!?!?" Suu screeched hysterically, as she desperately continued to launch her precious robot turtles at the X-Squad, who took a wrong turn, and were easily incinerating and destroying the poor, hapless toys. "It's quite obvious you lack alchemy." was Roy's only reply. "That or a Stand." Mukuro said, as Mister Big was shutting down any and all robots that come close. "Or even Chaos." Discord casually said, swatting away any turtle that came close.
"ALCHEMY?!? STAND?!?! CHAOS MAGIC?!?!" She yelled, as she momentarily halted her barrage, throwing her controller to the ground. "You... that means.. YOU POSSESS THE SACRED ARTS THAT WOULD HELP MY KINGDOM CONQUER THIS COUNTRY EASILY!!! PLEASE TEACH ME, OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE..."
"SHUT UP!" Ridley barked furiously, but that didn't stop Suu from bouncing up and down spastically, like the over caffeinated chihuahua she often is. "So, If I stop attacking you, you could teach me everything about all that alchemy stuff I read about, huh-huh-huh? Could you please please teach me how to conquer this nation already please please..."
"Okay, I've had enough of this..." Raymond deadpanned. So after a few fiery explosions later and the X-Squad jumping her, with Discord providing a steel chair for Raymond to continue smacking Suu, Kaolla Suu was later defeated and tied up to await trial, courtesy of Col. Roy Mustang and the X-Squad. "I'm sorry..." he answered coldly, as he now possessed the radio controller for some reason. "But I already had a bad experience with conquering peaceful, innocent nations." He ran upstairs as well.
Mitsune was already not doing so well either, as her gashing foot wound eventually led her to her downfall, as she drunkenly stumbled her head onto the edge of a sink, falling unconscious. The X-Squad, feeling somewhat embarrassed about what they witnessed as Alicia thought to herself. "Oh man, wait till Welkin hears about this... now what am I supposed to do with a drunken buffoon like her..." Just then, an intrusive thought got into her head, as she lugged Mitsune's unconscious body out of the sink, and to the front. "Well, this would do for the time being." She remarked to herself, as she dragged the body to the rendezvous area with the others.
"So, uh...Ara, are the others going to be okay?" Mutsumi asked innocently, "I hope they will..."
"Mutsumi, no..." Shinobu cut her off. Everybody, even Keitarou, was shocked to hear something like that come out from her. It was like she was a totally different person. "I am not sure if we want to talk about this or not, but..." she continued defiantly. "But I've got this strange feeling that they deserved it!"
"Agreed, Shinobu..." Alicia declared unanimously. "They've already pushed things way too far, so many times."
"This is no time to stand around and chatter. We have to get outta here!" Roy demanded, as he practically urged the others downstairs. They just reached the main entrance hall... ...until...
"AH-HAH!!!" They were greeted by a familiar, unpleasant face. "JUST WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, YOU STUPID INTRUDERS?!?!?!?!"
"N... n... Naru..." Keitarou dared to speak. "I... I... think it's about time we had a talk about your...uh, anger issues?" he stuttered at the now extremely mortified Naru, with her arms intensely crossed, her eyes bursting with fiery red rage.
"Dude, face it, the girl's gone ape." Voidlon said.
"SHUT IT!!!" Naru yelled, and then she turned to her soon-to-be-former female friends. "AND YOU TWO!!! JUDGING BY THE WAY YOU ACT OH-SO-SORRY FOR THAT HIDEOUS MALE, I'M STARTING TO WONDER WHY AM I EVER FRIENDS WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
"That...that is..." Shinobu suddenly found herself replying... "...is exactly what I was about to say..Naru, I just can't believe it... you...you..." She started to sound more angrier... like, than ever before... "YOU STUPID, SELFISH SLUT!!! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOUR SO-CALLED 'PURITY' IS ALL THAT PRECIOUS TO YOU?! HUH?! BASICALLY, YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN PERVERT PATROL SELFISHLY JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS BY THINKING THAT YOU WERE BEING ASSAULTED BY SOME BRAIN-DEAD, LARD-ASSED PERVERT! WELL, THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!! YOU WERE JUST BEATING UP A POOR, INNOCENT BOY WHO CAN VERY WELL TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ACCIDENT AND AN ACT OF MOTHERFUCKING PERVERSION!!" She was just practically raging at Naru now, a method that even completely took Keitarou off guard. It was like she had become an entirely different person. "AFTER ALL THOSE TIMES YOU AND THE OTHERS HAD BEATEN THE LIVING SNOT OUT OF HIM, AND NEVER EVEN BOTHERING TO LISTEN TO ME, I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN!!!"
"Shinobu..." Naru snarled in response. "WHY I OUGHTA!!!" It looks like she was charging up for a final attack, causing Keitarou, Mutsumi, and the Big 4 to tensely hold defensive positions. She then leapt up to the air, her rage power fully screwed to the "insanely over-limited" zone, complete with her complimentary health bar. She was about to deliver her final smash, the Ultimate Naru-Godly-Death-Punch, upon all of our heroes, but Shinobu got her hands on one of Suu's toy RPGs, and Naru was pretty much its most recent target given that she was sent crashing into the wall.
"Hmph..." The blue-haired sudden badass sneered at the slightly wounded Naru, whose impact on the floor caused yet another large, messy crater on the floor. "About time you got a taste of your own medicine, you cunt!" She then turned to the X-Squad. "All right, she's still alive, but her health bar is now at 85 percent. Hit her with all you got!!!" With that being said, Naru managed to scramble back up yet, lingering to deliver yet another Naru punch. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!"
"Wanna charge? THUNDER BLADE!!!" Genis yelled, posing with his Kendama high in the air. A huge lightning sword came crashing down on Naru, blasting her with magical lighting, doing 20 percent damage. Naru screeched in agony before regaining her stature.
"I'M GONNA BURN EVERY LAST INCH OF LIFE FROM YOU!!!" Col. Mustang roared, as he snapped both of his fingers, summoning more giant fireballs at her. That resulted in Naru receiving 20 percent more damage.
"YAMATO-TAKERU, USE DEATHBOUND!!!!" Naoto summoned her Persona yet again. Before Naru could even recover from the Colonels flame blasts, she was blasted by heavy physical attacks, losing 20 percent more of her health.
"HERE, TAKE THIS!" Alicia yelled, as she distributed an armed ragnite grenade onto Naru. Needless to say, she lost 20 percent more health before she could even register the threat.
The X-Squad basically jumped Naru and started assaulting her like they were a herd of moose river dancing on someone's body disrespectfully.
Despite receiving quite a beating from the others, Naru is still not done yet. "DAMN IT!" She snarled, as she struggled to get herself back to standing up. "Keitarou...you fiend... ...please, help me... I'm... I'm sorry..." She mumbled incoherently, dazed after all of it. Unfortunately for her, even Keitarou knew that he had enough with this bullshit. "No, Naru." He sternly replied, also having picked up another one of Suu's toy RPGs. "Okay, let's just..." Keitarou replied coldly (With a rather odd Clark Gable impression). "Get this over with." He then pulled the trigger.
And with that being said, Naru Narusegawa had been sent up to space by the blast of the toy RPG, before falling down again, this time into a straitjacket, as her, Mitsune and Suu were dragged into a paddy wagon van to begin rehabilitation to become at least more dignified people.
And after all of that commotion, it appears that the rescue mission had finally ended in success. The rescuers and the hostages gave a mighty cheer, as they found themselves out of the damaged Hinata girl's dormitory.
"Fireball Roy to Lord Suzumiya, Fireball Roy to Lord Suzumiya, do you read me? Over." Col. Mustang spoke into his com device. "We have rescued the hostages and subdued the suspects. Over!"
"HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! YES!!! YES-YES-YES-YES!!!" Haruhi cheered from her side. "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! I OWE YOU GUYS BIG TIME!!! I'LL BE RIGHT OVER HERE!"
"Woah..." Keitarou gasped in disbelief. "I never knew that beating her would be that... ...oh, umm..." "Easy?" Genis laughed an answer for the former. "Well, yeah." Keitarou replied. "I mean, it's not like I'm not going to miss her...at least, just a little bit...then again, after all of the Abuse I had from her..."
"Aw, don't worry, honey." Mutsumi smiled and grabbed his arm. "At least once Naru gets out, she might be a better person..." "Aw, gee, Mutsumi..." Keitarou smiled.
Shinobu was just as exhilarated as Keitarou. "Whoa man..." She gasped. "I never knew I could be angry at Naru and the others like this. And speaking as the only sane female member of the dorms, that's quite a lot to say."
"Aw, hey there, it's mutual with me, sometimes." Genis turned to her as well. "I also had to deal with immature little dweebs and idiots myself as well...especially red headed-chosen ones as well..."
"I'm pretty sure all of us had to deal with them once in a while, Genis." Naoto responded, and Alicia and Roy nodded with agreement. Mutsumi observed the damage that struck the dormitory during the campaign. "So, what is the plan now? It looks like the dorms have been pretty much blown out of shape as of now..."
"Well well well, Look who has decided to become members of the OVDF's Meta Brigade!" a new voice rang out from the side, as Haruhi joined the crowd, already hyperactive. Keitarou, Mutsumi and Shinobu looked at the stranger with confusion. "Uhh...Meta...Brigade?" Shinobu asked. "Oh, it's a super awesome branch of the OmniVerse Defense Force devoted to defending timelines from being distorted by tampering with them in order to bring it closer to the canon of the original start of that reality branch, Heh-heh! We also do other super fun and crazy things as well!" Haruhi cheerfully chortled.
"Espers, Aliens and Time Travelers, hm?" Now Shinobu has started to become more interested. "Sounds cool." Keitarou chimed in. "Plus, we could always use another chef with us! It looks like poor little Issac needs some help now that his group has 3 potential new members!"
"A chef?! OH YES, YES, I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOU!!" Shinobu cheered happily at the offer. Mutsumi then replied "Well, just as long as Shinobu is happy, then I'll be happy to join you as well!"
"Just as long as you don't justify that stupid 'perceived pervert' excuse on me." Keitarou responded.
"PERFECT!" Haruhi proclaimed triumphantly. "Then I'd like to officially welcome you three to the OVDF, as for the Samurai girl, she's for the X-Squad!"
"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!!!" And with that cheerful cry from Shinobu, all 3 of the former hostages now had much, much better lives awaiting them, as Motoko woke as Haruhi reveals it, as she gawks at the thought of being stuck with these psychos.
"Oh, and by the way, Roy?" Haruhi asked the flame Colonel, who is still grasping the Radio controller Suu had. "Can I have that controller for a sec?"
"Uggghhh..." he groaned to himself. "Sheesh Haruhi, try to imitate Hawkeye, why dont'ya... oh..." he then answered. "That annoying Kaolla girl was using an army of robot turtles against me, for stupid reasons unexplained. Why do you want it all of the sudden..."
"Because I think the boss would like some new firepower..."
Prehistoric Park is constantly growing and today marks the day that the Triceratops and Torosaurus lay their eggs.
The expected mother stood over their respective nests. With the close bond between the two species they could have their nests close together without arguments over territory. Both of the nests looked similar being mounds of dirt with fresh ferns scattered over the top. The mother Triceratops sniffed at the mound with care as her Torosaurus counterpart used her foot to spread dirt over her mound. Across the other side of the enclosure separated by a small body of water the two Ankylosaurus grunted. Brandon had gone on a few other secret missions to rescue a female Ankylosaurus, Didelphodon, Cave Bear and Ceolodonta for the breeding programme. Suzanne put down her binoculars and proceeded to the dock where Nigel was preparing for the next mission. After a short jeep ride she arrived at the yacht where the Prehistoric Park yacht 'Tumult' bobbed up and down in the dock. Nearby Bob had built a special holding pen for aquatic animals. As Mackenzie jumped on deck, Maya popped her head from the cabin and waved at her to come inside.
The cabin had a massive table with a map of prehistoric earth from different time periods on it with multiple fossils on it. A settee was attached to the wall with a few beds next to it. Some computer screens and radar were on the adjacent wall as well as a television to watch camera footage on. Below was a minibar full of food, which Maya had taken a chocolate bar from.
"Mack, have you seen what Brandon wants to bring back?" Bob asked aghast. A file showed a giant marine reptile with a jaw full of teeth.
"Me and Hammond were discussing what animal to rescue," Brandon said. "We were tied between mosasaurs and pliosaurs so we decided, why not both? First off though, we're going back 150 million years to Jurassic England, to rescue breeding pairs of two pliosaurs. Liopleurodon and Pliosaurus funkei, aka Predator X."
"What have you got against otters?" Bob asked "I knew the seals and sea cows were too good to last."
150 million years ago, during the Jurassic period, southern England was closer to the modern day Caribbean. In the seas, giant reptiles ruled, with the pliosaurs acting as the apex predator.
Like modern day Jamaica or Cuba, the sun illuminated the sea, which rippled with shining light. It was clear blue and sparkled. A nearby island had clear sandy shores with palm trees casting shade upon the land. Ridley leaned on the railing looking at the files.
"Huh, the pliosaurs have large nasal areas," he observed. "They hunt by following scents. We can use that to our advantage."
Above them, seagull-sized pterosaurs colored pink and silver with long tails flew around their heads. They were Rhamphorhynchus. Sunlight seeped through their wafer thin wings, casting light onto the deck. A few would fly close to the surface of the sea, skimming its beak through it to catch fish. One of them folded their wings and sat on the deck catching treats that the crew threw in their direction.
"Are we going to rescue one or two?" Maya asked.
"Not yet," Brandon replied. "The aviary we built is designed for some larger relatives."
"Fuck it, we're bringing some on board!" Voidlon said, opening the portal and sending the flock through.
Suddenly, as one of the pterosaurs skimmed the water, a dark head burst from the abyss and dragged the screeching reptile into the sea. Everybody panicked and the remaining pterosaurs flew into the portal with distress.
"I know what that was," Brandon said, pulling on a wetsuit. "Come on, they won't hurt us."
They quickly got dressed and dived into the water. It was warm and reminded them of slipping into a warm bath after a winter day. Three creatures with gold bodies were swimming playfully in the serene sea. They resembled images of the lock ness monster. They were giant being 8m long with a quarter of the length comprising the neck.
"Cryptoclidus," Brandon explained. "A plesiosaur. Look at those teeth."
Each Cryptoclidus had rows of peg-like thin teeth similar to gharials. Obviously they were designed to eat fish but sometimes pterosaur was on the menu if the time arose.
"Judging by that neck they would use it to sneak on fish shoals," Maya said, laughing as one brushed past her. Their mammalian smells were alien to the long necked reptiles. "Hey, can we rescue them?"
Discord nodded and pulled out a harpoon with fish cupcakes attached to the tip. Immediately, he fired at the back of the hull with bait trailing after it. The Cryptoclidus swam after it and Brandon remotely opened the portal that was attached to the back sending the three to the park. He gave a thumbs up and they surfaced.
The crew find out that the long necked Cryptoclidus isn't the only inquisitive marine reptile to be swimming around primeval England's shores.
Maya was leaning on the 'Tumult' railing, eating a chocolate bar. She loved chocolate, and the food drops rarely brought chocolate to the Isla Nublar and the other islands so it was a rare treat. However, one animal is about to ruin it. A black and blue shape jumped from the water, before snapping up her bar and landing with a splash. Brandon burst from the cabin, eager to see the animal.
"Did you see it?" he asked.
"It looked like a dolphin if you know what I mean," she replied. Brandon ushered her into the cabin. He turned up the carpet by one of the beds to reveal a stairwell to a room underneath the deck. The yacht had a glass bottom! They saw a group of seven ichthyosaurs, blue-black in colour, with giant saucer shaped black eyes. Like dolphins, they swam in playful unison and jumped straight out of the water to splash back down.
"Opthalmosaurus," Brandon explained. "An ichthyosaur. This is a perfect example of convergent evolution, everything from behaviour and almost appearance is similar to dolphins."
Convergent evolution was when two animals of vastly different groups evolved similarly to a certain habitat. Another good example were bats and birds. These playful reptiles were a perfect aquatic animal to Prehistoric Park, so Ridley let off some bait, which attracted the dolphin-like ichthyosaurs to the back of the hull where the portal was. It was activated, and all bar one went through to the holding pens. As the last one was surfacing for air, it met its doom. A giant shape burst from the dark abyss below, and the poor reptile was torn in half in a flash of blood. It was a 21ft long pliosaur colored magenta and pink, with a giant jaw full to the brim with bone crunching teeth.
"Liopleurodon ferox!" Brandon yelled in amazement. "Like great whites, they stay close to the abyss before rising up sharply to attack its prey. Looks like a male. He's coming straight for us!"
The Liopleurodon saw the yacht as a rival and swam at full speed, jaws agape, at them. Quickly, they opened the portal, and the leviathan swam through. Bob had better be ready for this beast. Nigel too was worried although for a different reason: a hurricane had just been picked up on radar.
Back in the park, Bob is going to have a nasty surprise.
Bob and the twins managed to lure the Opthalmosaurus into a holding tank adjacent to the plesiosaurs. Their new tanks were just being finished. Abi threw fish guts into the holding tank which bubbled as the reptiles swam after the chum.
"Does the X-Squad often bring back unexpected animals?" Bradley asked.
"Every time," he replied. "It's nice though, because of how unique each animal is."
The portal reopened and a leviathan burst through. Quite a few people ran back a bit as they tried in desperation to get the pliosaur into a holding pen. Through the danger level, they gave up and used a spare boat as bait for the great monster. With the speed of all those involved it was quickly ushered into an exhibit and a carcass thrown into the tank for its meal.
"He's going to bring back three more of those things," Bob sighed.
Back in the Jurassic, something has come up on the radar that makes everyone worried.
Over fifty dots the size of blue whales appeared on the radar. Everyone was worried, in case they were over fifty giant pliosaurs or some other deadly leviathan coming to crush the yacht between their giant jaws. Brandon, however, was perfectly calm and took everyone into the glass bottom secret cabin. There were whale sized filter feeding fish swimming peacefully through the water.
"Leedsicthys," Brandon said. "Similar to the whale shark or whales. They would swim through the water with their mouths open to eat plankton, krill and small fish. I would love a few at the park, but you can definitely see why we can't rescue some right now. We have enough feeding the humpbacks and our two whale sharks."
"Eh, fuck it, we're bringing some back." Julie said, opening the portal as the Leedsicthys swam through.
They spotted one that was in bad shape. It was slowly dying, as the extinct shark Hybodus tore chunks from the still living fish. It was distressing to see the poor thing bleeding out before their eyes.
"The poor thing will be dead soon but it might suit us well," Brandon said. "We have to wait for the night though."
That night it turns out Nigel was right. It was a hotbed for pliosaurs having a feeding frenzy.
Three different pliosaurs were tearing apart the dead fish, one was a female Liopleurodon, one a male and the last a female Predator X who was two metres longer than the others. Their giant jaws tore giant chunks of flesh from the Leedsicthys. They decided to test Maya's theory about their smell and released whole buckets of chum. With the freshness appealing more than the dried blood and guts of the giant one. Luckily, they managed to open the portal and send the reptiles to Prehistoric Park. The theory was correct, but the chum attracted a giant male Predator X. With one swipe of his massive jaws, he ripped a whole fin off of the leedsicthys. As it swam up to them the long awaited hurricane came upon them. Even the giant leviathan couldn't withstand the force of the tyrant that was nature and was swept towards the yacht. They opened the portal, and the beast went through but the wind started throwing the yacht all over.
"Hang on!" Nigel shouted. He hastily typed into the computer and they were teleported safely to the park.
After a few more hours all giant pliosaurs and aquatic reptiles were safely in their tanks.
The X-Squad, Abi and Bradley sat on 'Tumult' facing the pliosaur tanks. With the territorial nature of the monsters, they each had their own tank. One of the Liopleurodon burst from the water and smacked back down sending a spray of water high into the sky. Around the boat the monk seals peeped out from under the waves curiously before sinking back below. In the tank directly joining the one they sat in, an Opthalmosaurus did a somersault out of the blue. They had placed the ichthyosaurs and plesiosaurs in a tank together with a coral reef for them to swim happily around.
"This place is paradise!" Abi said happily "I wish I could do this all the time."
"How about in the summer holidays, you work here?" Evolt replied. Before the answer came Mackenzie spoke over his radio.
"Come quick. Rex eggs hatching."
They stood in the hide watching the nest. Lumi the mother Rex stood protectively over three feathery balls that were making chirping noises. Each one had a small horn on the end of their noses so they could get out of their eggs. Moses came up to them and opened his mouth dropping flesh for his offspring to tear apart. Simultaneously the two Yutyrannus liked the feathers of their hatchlings clean. The Park's breeding programme has had its first success.