CW: sensual description reminiscent of assault or rape

Thursday, 18th of Fall

Alma passed by the furnace on her way to get her mail the next morning and pulled out a copper bar that had been smelting overnight. When she reached in the mailbox, she was surprised to see another copper bar inside with a letter from Clint:

"Um, hi …

Sorry, I'm not good at writing letters. I made one metal bar too many, and I thought you might need it.

- Clint, the blacksmith"

Alma folded up the letter and put both copper bars in the chest with the other resources. She thought it was nice of Clint to send her a gift, though it was also unusual for him to label himself as "the blacksmith," as if she didn't know who he was. Still, it was nice.

She was happy to see lots of crops ready to harvest again today: bok choy, cranberries, and sunflowers. She also saw her oak tapper was full by the coop. As she went through harvesting and watering, she took a peek inside the bee house. She had never taken care of bees before, and she wasn't sure how to know when honey was ready. But she had done a little research and learned that when the honeycomb cells were covered in a pale wax, honey should be ready inside. She put on her long gloves and bee hat, smoked out the bees, removed the frame, scraped off the wax, and placed the frame inside the honey extractor that was part of the bee house. She pushed the button to let it do its work while she went and extracted the oak resin and took care of the animals. By the time she had come back, the honey had dripped through the spigot and through the filter into a nice, full bottle of golden honey. "Bingo," she said to herself, putting a lid on the bottle and placing it in her bag. She remembered honey was one of the items for the artisan bundle in the pantry of the community center, so she took it with her on her way into town.

Alma first checked the calendar and saw that today was Marnie's birthday. She wondered what Marnie might want and thought about the beautiful sunflowers in her bag. One would look good in Marnie's kitchen, for sure! So she made a mental note to save one for her. She sold her other produce to Pierre then went north to the community center to drop off the honey. Only one thing left in the artisan bundle, and the pantry would be complete!

Alma went next toward Marnie's house, and on her way, she was hoping to see Harvey standing by the river. To her surprise, though, he wasn't there. She remembered, though, that today was Thursday; he probably had a patient at the clinic. And Alma knew, too, that she could catch Marnie in the evening. So she decided to go back to the clinic and wait for Harvey.

"Oh! Hi Alma!" Maru greeted as she came in. "Here for Harvey, I guess?"

"Yes, I'll just wait here, if that's okay."

"Sure. It shouldn't be much longer." Maru continued working at the front desk, and Alma waited patiently in the waiting room. After a while, Maru asked, "Have you explored the mines much?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I have quite a bit now."

Maru nodded with a smile. "I've heard you can find some useful materials there."

"You can! Copper ore, iron ore, charcoal, clay, some quartz, stone, of course. Lots of minerals too. I've mostly been giving those to Gunther to have in the museum collection."

"Yes, I've seen those! Fascinating, aren't they?"

"They are, yeah. I don't know what most of it is until Gunther tells me. But I'm learning!" She chuckled a bit and looked at Maru's intrigued face as she looked back down to the paperwork. "You should go down there some! You'd probably find it really interesting. You're going into it with a lot more knowledge than I am, of course, so you'd definitely get a lot of enjoyment out of it. But, uh, have you ever fought before?"

"Fought? Like what? Thrown punches or something?"

"Well, the mines can be dangerous. There are monsters and stuff like that. Ever carried a sword?"

"Uh, well, no? But maybe I could smack 'em with a hammer!" she laughed.

"There you go! I'm sure that would work!"

Maru got back to her work, and Alma continued to wait quietly. After a while, the door opened, and Alma was happy to see that it was actually Marnie walking out of the door Harvey held open. He looked at her, a bit surprised. "Oh! Hi, Alma. Do you … have any medical questions?"

Marnie looked between the two of them and giggled. "I highly doubt that, Dr. Harvey. I reckon she's here to see you personally!"

"Actually, I wanted to see you too, birthday girl!" Alma reached into her bag and pulled out a sunflower.

Marnie's face lit up. "Oh, a birthday gift! Thank you. You didn't have to do that!"

"Well, I know, but I wanted to!" Alma caught Harvey's eye as he came through the door, and he smiled and shook his head a little, thinking that she was at it again with her social charms. She gave him a quick wink. "Headed back home now?" she asked Marnie.

"Yes, though after this exam, I kinda wish I was going to Gus's. You can catch me at the saloon most nights. Animals are great company, but I need to spend some time with people, too."

"Well, I know Jas will enjoy getting some good quality time with you on your birthday. Tell her I said hi, will you?"

"I will! Bye, Dr. Harvey. Thank you again!"

"You're welcome, Ms. Marnie. Have a good celebration with your family." Marnie left the clinic, and Harvey smiled at Alma. "Hi."

"Hi there. Had a good day?"

"Yes, pretty good. I've still got some things to finish up here," he said, putting the clipboard on the front desk for Maru. "I guess you're just dropping by?" The way he sounded, Alma thought he was already expecting her to say she was too busy to spend time with him.

"Well, I don't really have much more to do today. Wanted to give Marnie her birthday gift and wanted to say hi to you, yeah. Didn't expect I'd get both of those things done at once. So I can stick around, if you want me to," she teased.

"Of course I do!" he answered, his face lighting up. "But I-I won't be done here for maybe another two hours or so. I don't want you to just sit here waiting for me."

"How about I go do some fishing then come back around six?"

"That sounds perfect," Harvey said with a smile. "Thank you for, uh, for understanding."

"Listen," she said, putting a hand gently on his to reassure him, "you do what you need to do. I don't mind waiting." His smile softened as he felt her comfort. Then, as she stepped toward the door, she asked, "Want me to get anything from Pierre's for dinner?"

"Well, if you're catching fish … how about you get some rice? I can make us some sushi."

"Ooh that sounds delicious!" Maru blurted out. She chuckled a little nervously and went back to her papers.

"Harvey is a better cook than you might think!" Alma said to Maru with a wink to Harvey. He blushed a little. "I'll be happy to pick up some rice. You have seaweed?"

"I do, yes. It has a lot of medicinal properties, so I keep some stocked."

"All right. I look forward to it!" Alma gave him a quick kiss before going out the door. She first went next door to Pierre's to get the rice, then she went to the river to try for catfish. As always, the catfish were evasive, and though she caught some others, she didn't get what she needed for the community center. As the sun started going down, she packed her things, went back toward the clinic, and knocked on the door.

She heard footsteps, and Harvey answered the door with a smile. "I'm just putting my papers away. Did you get much fish?"

"A couple, yeah. No catfish though, which was what I was wanting for the Junimo."

"Sorry to hear that," he said, closing and locking the door behind him. "Just give me one second, I promise," he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

She took a seat in the waiting room, and he rushed around to get behind the desk, where he continued to put papers into folders and then away into various cabinets and hanging folders. She sensed something was off about him today. He seemed more anxious, more self-deprecating in his words and his actions. Others may not have been able to notice it, but Alma could. "You know you don't have to rush, right? I like spending time with you. I'm not in any hurry to do anything else."

"I know, I know. I-I just want to get this done with so we can have some time together." He looked at her and wagged his finger. "Every minute counts when it's with you."

Alma shook her head with a smirk, still seeing his anxious energy as he moved. He was moving here and there like a flitting bird, and she wanted to help him break his anxious cycle. Alma went to the counter and leaned over, grabbing him by the tie. He looked up at her, his glasses rolling down his nose. She took them off for a moment and looked at his eyes. "You. Are. Important." She raised her eyebrows and nodded a little, wanting to make sure he was listening. "Okay? Your time is just as important as mine. Your work is important. Your patients are important. So take your time. I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere." He leaned into her hand, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. She let go of his tie, put his glasses back on, and backed off of the counter. He was frozen, watching her go to sit back down in a chair.

After a moment of duped silence, he shook his head a little. "Y-Yes, uh ... right," he said, snapping out of it and looking back at the papers on the counter. He put things away, a little more calmly now, and when everything was straightened, he wiped down the counter, shut off the computer, and came around to her side of the counter. Alma stood up and pulled on her bag when he opened the door. "Now then," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "you're still here?"

"I'm still here." She put her hand back on his face, and he kissed her palm.

"You're not going anywhere?" he asked, looking at her mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered as she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck.

Their lips barely touched as he said, "Good." He pressed his lips to hers, and their embrace tightened. Alma dropped her bag off her shoulders, and Harvey pulled off his coat, his stethoscope ringing when it hit the tile floor. He pulled her hips closer, and she moved her hands over his shoulder blades, gripping at his shirt. It was their most intense moment yet; Alma knew now as Harvey pulled her toward the counter that the anxious energy he had been holding was this bottled up hunger, and now it was releasing through his tight grip, his deep kisses, and his quickened heartbeat she could feel through his shirt. He took off his glasses and pulled at the knot of his tie, and he fumbled to get it undone while kissing her. Alma pulled her hands back over his shoulders, whipped off his tie, and unbuttoned the top button for him. He took her head in his hands and kissed her passionately, drawing a deep breath through his nose. She hugged her arms around his waist, hooking her fingers into his belt loops.

As their breathing became harder and their kisses became wetter, Alma started to feel a sense of panic rise up in her. She closed her eyes tighter, trying to ignore it. She didn't want to ruin this moment for either of them. She moved away from his mouth and instead rested her head on Harvey's shoulder while he kissed down her neck. She took a deep breath of his soothing scent of aftershave and coffee to remind her that this was Harvey. Harvey loved her. He would never hurt her. There was nothing to be scared of. She looked behind him into the clinic, cold and white and stark. She could see out the front window that the sky was now going dark and wondered if anyone could see in. "Harvey," she said, "the window."

He lifted his eyes then pulled her with him to the back of the room, where he switched off the lights and pressed her against the wall. She knocked the potted plant over with a loud sound and gasped. "It's okay," he said, taking her hand in his and holding it against the wall above her head.

But hearing this made Alma's mind hear Eric's voice: "It's okay. It's me." She felt Harvey's fingers were like a stranger's, and her body felt like someone else's too; she was not here any more but was watching this woman in the clutches of this man. She felt less embraced and more smothered, less warm and more sweltering, less giving and more using. He was so close to her - too close. She tried to turn her head away but couldn't. He pressed against her and pulled her tighter. She felt his erection against her leg. His breathing in her ears. His saliva on her cheek.

"Harvey," she whimpered. "Harvey!" By instinct, she pushed him away with an unexpected force, and he stumbled back into the darkness, his hands out as if in surrender. They looked at each other, suddenly aware and both out of breath. Their eyes looked at each other in the dim light from the twilight outside, both with embarrassment.

"Alma, I … I - I'm so sorry."

"No, it's …." She furrowed her brow and rubbed her face. "It's okay. I'm sorry." She looked back up to him with pain in her eyes, trying not to cry. "It's not … It's not your fault." She looked at the plant next to her that had fallen on the ground, and she stooped down to try to stand it back up again.

"And it's not yours either. You need to know that." He took a step closer, wanting to put a hand on her shoulder and bring her in for an embrace, but he instead stopped himself. He watched her as she shakily put soil back in the planter. He took a deep breath and turned to pick up their things from the floor, placing her bag in one of the chairs and draping his coat and stethoscope over the counter. He leaned against it, put on his glasses again, and took another deep breath. Alma sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room, hugging herself. He dropped his head and sighed. "I am sorry," he said, looking down at the floor and wringing his tie in his hands. "If I'm honest, I have been thinking of you a lot in the past few days. It's been difficult for me to … control myself. I want you, and I want nothing but you. And it's not just the physicality. I'm just … overwhelmed, I guess. It's - It's been a while for me to be so close to someone." He paused for a moment, shaking his head when he thought of his selfishness. "I suppose it's the opposite for you, isn't it?" She turned her head a little toward him. "It's too fresh. Too similar. The wounds are still open." He pulled his head up and looked at her huddled in the seat. It made his heart hurt. "I've put my feelings before yours. I've put you back in a place of pain because I wanted pleasure."

Alma looked up at him and shook her head, coming toward him. "Oh, Harvey, no, you didn't." She scanned his face and saw the familiar look of deep sincerity mixed with pain. She lifted her hand to his cheek, and he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. "We both want this. It's just … I …."

"I know." He put his hand against hers and kissed her palm. "I know." He opened his eyes and looked at her again as her hand moved down his neck and chest. He saw her eyes were glistening with tears. He took his arm and wrapped it around her, drawing her into his side. "What's on your mind? Can you tell me?" He took his other hand to hold hers on his chest.

She drew in a sharp inhale, trying to control herself and wondering if she should say what she was thinking. "You're right." Even just saying those two words made her voice strain against tears. She closed her eyes tight, trying to stop herself from crying. "I want so - so badly to - to - " It was useless; she began to feel hot tears roll down her face.

Her hand gripped his shirt tightly, and he could feel her whole body trembling. "It's all right," he whispered. "I'm here." He kissed her hair softly and stroked her clenched fist with his thumb.

"He's not in my life anymore! Why is he still in my head?!" she cried. "When will I get rid of him?! Even when he's not here, he won't leave me alone!" Alma sobbed into his chest, and Harvey felt anger rise against this man he never knew. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes tight. Alma's grip soon loosened, and she seemed to deflate. Harvey moved his arm down around her waist, helping to hold her up. He could feel the anger leaving him, turning his energy instead to caring for her. She straightened up from his chest and looked at his face. "I love you so much, Harvey. You're so different from other men I've loved before. You never put yourself before me. In fact," she said, stroking his cheek, "I know you have pain and fear too. I can see it in your eyes even now. And I know your pain doesn't turn outward to abuse or anger or violence - but inwards on yourself. You always think of others first. You wouldn't hurt a fly."

"That's not true," he said with a little smile. "Some flies carry diseases."

She chuckled through her tears and put her head back on his shoulder and her hand back on his chest. "I'm sorry to compare you with others, but I - I've been so - so damaged that I - I'm so scared. You think you're the one with all the fears and anxieties, but Harvey, I'm … I'm terrified of you." Her voice wrenched as she said these last few words. Harvey looked out over the waiting room, trying to process what she was saying. "I want to fall all in. I want to love you with everything I have. But I've done that multiple times and - and - " She clenched her eyes tight, not even able to bring herself to talk about what she remembered in her mind. She tried to relax her body and take a breath. "I know you're different. I know I shouldn't be scared, but Harvey …" she took her hand away and curled in on herself, "my heart is broken. It's been broken so many times, and I don't know how much love is left. I don't know how much my love actually means. It feels pretty worthless." She lowered her head again on his shoulder. "I can't help but feel like … you deserve someone who isn't broken like I am."

Harvey felt the anger growing again - anger toward any people who had made such a darling person feel so terrible. "Alma, you listen to me now." There was a hardness to his voice she hadn't heard before. She wiped her eyes but kept her gaze down. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to control the anger. "Precious Alma," he said, softer. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her so that she faced him. He curled her hair out of her face and lifted her face to him. Tears still filled her eyes and moved down her cheeks, and she didn't want to look him in the face. "Those men were wrong," he said firmly. "Their mistakes had nothing to do with you." She closed her eyes tight, and her face wrenched. Harvey continued to stroke her hair out of her face. "You are not broken, and your heart is full of love. I see it in how you treat the people in this town - in how you treat me." She began to sob, and she turned her head to the side. "You remember what Welwick said about you? It's a fact that everyone can see: you have a special soul, and it's buried in pain. I know you think very little of yourself, and I know you pour yourself into your work to drown out the dark thought spirals. I know because I - I do the same thing, Alma." Harvey was surprised to feel tears come to his eyes too. It hurt him so much to see her feel this way. He hadn't experienced the extent of her pain, but he knew some of it, and he knew that even that little bit hurt badly. He pulled her back in for an embrace and stroked her hair. He could still feel her body shaking, and he felt his chest become wet with her tears. He listened to her weep, and he let tears fall out of his eyes too.

Harvey swallowed the lump in his throat and lowered his head to speak to her softly. "I love you so much. We both think so much of each other and so little of ourselves, when in reality, the fact that you care so much for me … tells me that I am valuable too. You see me the way I see you, and that is the best gift you've given me."

"Better than coffee?" she sniffed.

"Yes, even better than coffee," he chuckled. He sighed and continued to stroke her hair as he spoke quietly. "My self-image is starting to improve because I'm just so incredibly glad that - that you find me deserving of your affection. I never ever want to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. I want to be your safe place. So I will wait as long as it takes." He rested his head on top of hers and smiled as he said, "You. Are. Important." She laughed a little when she realized what he was doing. "Take your time. I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere."

They didn't say anything for a long while, until Alma had calmed down and was so relaxed that she nearly fell asleep on his chest in the dark of the clinic. Harvey knew these emotions were exhausting and had probably taken a lot out of her. He gently rubbed her back, feeling where the straps of her overalls met. Her ribs expanded and fell as she breathed slowly, and he tried to breathe deeply along with her. He felt her take a sharp inhale, and she began to stir. "I know we said we would have sushi together," she mumbled, "but I - " She looked up at him a little and diverted her eyes back to the ground. "I think I should go." She turned and walked toward her bag.

"Are you sure? Why don't you eat first?"

She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a salmon, holding it up to him. "Let's do a rain check." She patted his chest, looked at the tear stain on his shoulder, and gestured to it with a pathetic smile.

"I'm a three-time medal winner now," Harvey said with a sad little smile. "Can - Can I at least walk you home?" Harvey sputtered, hesitantly putting the salmon on the counter.

Alma pulled her bag over her shoulders. "You don't need to do that. I'll be fine."

He put a hand on her arm and let it fall down to her hand, touching her fingers lightly. "Please?" She couldn't see much of him in the dark, but the moonlight from the front window did cast some light that drew his silhouette, and her glow ring splashed a little light on his face. She could see his hair still ruffled and his shirt unkempt. His face was sweet and sorry. She reached out and felt the wet spot on his chest. He looked a little pitiful, and she knew he was worried about her.

"All right," she sighed.

"Here, let me," he said, reaching for her bag. He hurled it over his shoulders and bent over the counter to get the keys to the clinic. Alma stood patiently by the door as he unlocked it, opened it for her, and locked it behind her again. Then he held his arm out to escort her down the road.

The air was getting more and more chilly at night, and it made her cuddle up next to him a little closer. "What time is it?" she asked him.

He checked his watch. "About nine now."

"Not too bad," she said, "though I'm probably still going to go right to sleep. I'm exhausted."

He patted her hand in the crook of his arm. "I'm sure you are. I'm sorry again, Alma."

"No, don't apologize. This is not your fault."

They were quiet for another moment, and as they passed the bus stop, Harvey asked, "Will you - Will you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Talk to Katherine about this. I don't care if she knows my part in it. I'm confident she can help you overcome this so that you …." He debated if he should say what he was going to. "So that you can be free of your past - of him … once and for all."

They approached the cabin, and she turned to him with tears in her eyes again. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I will. I want that too." He turned and kissed her cheek. She pulled away from him, running her hand down his arm and holding on to his fingers. She wiped her eyes and said, "It's the whole reason I came here, even before I knew you. But you are more incentive, that's for sure." She looked over him and thought how handsome he looked in the light of her glow ring. She smiled and pulled on his hand, bringing him closer to her. She brought her hand up to his face and kissed his lips lightly. Then she brought her other hand up too and pulled his head down to rest his forehead on hers. He wrapped his hands around her waist. "Are you real?" she asked quietly, closing her eyes tight. "Is this my life?" Her voice began to tremble.

He put her bag on the ground, took her hands in his, and kissed them. "This is your life. This is your house, your property, your farm that your grandfather entrusted to you because he believed you had the capabilities to see the magic in it that he did." Her lip began to quiver, and she listened to him carefully. He took her hands and placed them on his chest to feel his heartbeat. "I am real. And I am yours, Alma." He tilted her chin up and kissed her lips softly. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she squeaked. They embraced again, and she soon picked up her bag and said goodnight. Harvey stood at the base of her stairs and watched as she went inside. He sighed, put his hands in his pockets, and walked back to the clinic.

When Alma closed the door behind her, Bisclavret came rushing to her side. She crouched down and hugged him tightly, the tears flooding back again.