The second Alex left the room, Jo let out a breath that came out as a sob as tears spilled over onto her cheeks. Before she could press the call button, Meredith and Link came in. Link rushed over and wrapped his arms around her as Meredith sat next to her and put her arms around her shoulders, as they both hugged her. Jo let herself cry, letting the tears and the emotions, the stress, the worry, and the fear spill out. She took a moment to fall apart again.

When she pulled back, Link wiped her eyes and hugged her shoulders. Jo took another deep breath as they both nodded. Even though she knew Alex was strong enough to be there for her. She knew he wasn't ready to have the conversation she was about to have with Meredith and Link. They waited for her, having sensed what she needed from them. One last tear slipped from her eyes before she wiped it away and then she nodded, finding her voice.

"I need your help to get everything sorted before the surgery. I need to write a will and get my affairs in order. I also need you both to help me sort out a plan to help Alex if anything happens," Jo said as sure as she could, looking at them both.

"As much as I don't want to think about it, I promise you that I'm going to take care of Alex and the girls no matter what happens," Link said with a somber nod that Meredith agreed with.

"Don't worry, Jo. Alex will be taken care of if anything happens to you, even if the worst happens," Meredith said as she reached out and squeezed Jo's hand.

"I know you will," Jo said, with a small smile. "But, please don't let him run away. He'll need our family, I want them to have that."

"I'll make sure he stays here," Meredith said with another reassuring squeeze of her shoulders.

"Good," Jo said with her nod.

They pulled out some papers, Meredith knew what they needed and helped her format her will. It was easier than the last time she had written a will, before she had left Paul. She left everything to Alex and her daughters, but picked out a few pieces of sentimental things to give to Link, Meredith, Stephanie,and her friends.

She gave out her jewelry and things to give to the girls. She gave Luna the necklace she had worn on her wedding day. To Helena she gave the sapphire bracelet Alex gifted her on their first anniversary. She entrusted Alex with her wedding rings, asking that he would give her engagement ring to Helena and her wedding band to Luna so that they both might have a piece of the love she and Alex had as they grew up. She had bought Alex a new watch for his upcoming birthday and entrusted it to Meredith for the time being. He had so many things from her, and she knew he'd appreciate them.

Then Jo started writing letters to them. She wanted to write a letter to Alex, and then Luna, and Helena to read after her death. That's what she was writing when they came. Alex held both girls, one in each arm as they came in. Jo instantly shuffled the papers away and Alex pretended he didn't see them. Meredith got off the bed and quickly shuffled the papers away. She also hid the letters in Jo's bedside drawer.

"Mama," both of the girls shouted as they smiled and wiggled out of Alex's arms. The girls lit up as they saw her, and Jo managed her first real smile she had since this all happened.

"Hello, my girls," Jo said as she reached out for them.

Jo was relieved that they didn't seem scared but all the monitors and the oxygen that she had. Although Luna still looked over at all the equipment with wide eyes. They were used to her mother in a hospital setting, this was different. Alex looked at the drawer for a moment, his fingers twitching as if he wanted to open it, before he sat down on the bed next to her and managed to smile for their girls. He let the girls go and they crawled up to her as Jo wrapped her arms around them, giving her daughters a hug and a kiss on their cheeks before they settled in her arms, with one on each side.

"How was daycare? I saw you guys did some painting today and that you had some goldfish for a snack. That must have been a fun treat."

"Yeah, they were telling me all about the fishies, weren't you girls?" Alex said as he relaxed too and smiled at them.

Luna told her all about it, using a few words, but mostly signing and Helena babbled on about the fishies. Jo let her worries dissipate as she focused on her daughters. They were the best distraction after a long day and it was easy to let it all slip away as she enjoyed them. Link and Meredith slipped out, letting the two of them enjoy their family time and taking the documents with them.

They spent the rest of the evening together, having dinner and playing with the girls who soon fell asleep on the bed next to her. Addison and Maggie frequently checked on her and she had a few more tests, blood work and ultrasounds to ensure that the baby was doing well. Along with constant fetial and heart monitoring.

Then they discussed scheduling the surgery. Maggie said she could do it the next day, and Addison. However, Jo realized that she wanted more time to get things settled, time to spend time with her family and the baby. Therefore they agreed to schedule it for three days from now, on that upcoming Thursday. This gave her enough time to finish her letters and her will.

Link had agreed to go to their house and get them the things they needed to stay the night. He returned with two duffel bags for them and one for the girls along with their pack and play for them to sleep. The girls were used to sharing a bed and did so occasionally as they crawled into each other's beds. He had mostly packed for her thought, and had brought her pillow and her favorite blanket along with her favorite robe. It was the fluffy white one she had stolen from the hotel at Bailey's wedding all those years ago. It was faded, but still soft and one of her favorite comfort items.

That night, the nurses brought them dinner and made sure she had extra pillows and a warm, softer blanket. Jo was always so thankful for the nurses and all their support. If anyone knew how to go above and beyond to take care of them, it was the nurses at Grey-Sloan Hospital and Jo appreciated them so much. When Helena was born, they had done something similar. They made sure she was comfortable, gave her extra treats, and ensured that she and Alex got in a few naps, while they spoiled her baby. They had always done it for Luna, spoiling her in the NICU and she knew they'd do it for her when she had this baby. If she lived to have this baby.

To her surprise, Alex fell asleep before her. He relaxed in the lounge chair next to her and pulled up the footrest as he laid back. Helena crawled up onto his chest and Alex put a blanket over both of them. They soon fell asleep together and even Luna was soon snoring at her side, curled into her, but Jo couldn't sleep. Even after the nurses came in and turned off the TV and turned down the lights. They insisted she get some rest and that they wouldn't check on her for a few hours, but Jo was restless.

Instead, she pulled out her pen and paper and began to write more letters. She wrote well into the night, but it never seemed to be enough. There always seemed to be something more to say. She wanted the girls to have a letter for each special occasion. She started from birthday to the first days of school, middle school, high school, graduation, growing up falling in love, starting out on their careers, their lives, and the happy moments that she imagined would come. Their wedding days and engagements, if they chose to have one. She wasn't sure, so she also wrote it to them for when they decided to commit to their partner.

Then she wrote her letters to Alex, for the first day afterward, the first wedding anniversary, the first year, and so on. She wrote down everything she wanted him to know and wanted to say to him. Words of love and reassurance, words of guidance and hope that he would find happiness for the sake of their daughters. Although she was selfish enough to hope he wouldn't be with someone else. By the time she was getting the last few of her letters, the sun had risen and she watched the sunrise through her window.

"You should get some rest," Carina insisted as she put her stethoscope back around her neck. Carina had already gone home, slept and came back.

Despite her yawn, Jo looked down at her writing. "I want to write all this down for Alex and the girls in case I die on the table."

"You shouldn't think like that," Carina scolded her with a frown. "This is a good surgery, an easy surgery, and chances are you will make a full recovery."

"I know, but they don't call it Grey-Slone death for nothing. We both know what could happen," Jo said as she looked up at Carina who had a softer, somber face.

"Just try and at least get a few hours of sleep," Carina said as she put her hand over Jo's on her pen, causing her to falter in her writing.

Jo paused and realized how tired she was. She closed her eyes for a second and Carina easley took the pen and papers from her hands without a fight. Carina tucked the blanket over her, and Jo let her take Luna too and place her in the pack and play next to the window. Still, she did try to rest, but her mind wouldn't let her sleep. Instead, she watched the sun rise higher in the sky. She got up and took Luna back, snuggling with her and eventually Helena, as she briefly woke up and crawled over into Jo's arms. She snuggled them in her arms and appreciated the moment she had holding her girls.

Jo also looked over at Alex as he slept, memorizing his features and taking a few pictures of him to capture the moment. She hoped that he would have these pictures forever. Eventually, he woke up with a yawn. Alex looked around for a second before he stood up and stretched, his back creaking as he did. He stretched even more to get out the ache in his joints as he rubbed his back.

"I'm probably going to have to pull one of the couches in here if I'm going to be spending the night again," Alex said as he looked back at the recliner with a sigh.

"You shouldn't have to. You should go home and sleep in our own bed with the girls. You'll need some good rest for the days ahead," Jo said, giving him a slight frown, although she knew he wouldn't leave her.

"I don't mind it so much, and it'll be okay for a few days," Alex nodded, smiling back at her. He was trying to ease her mind and she let him. Alex sat on the bed and put a hand on Helena's back. "Do you want me to take them from you?"

Jo shook her head and kissed Luna and Helena's forehead. She couldn't bear to part with her girls and he didn't try to take them from her. Instead, he sat on the bed next to her. He picked up Luna as he wiggled into the spot next to her, sitting next to Jo as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and let Luna sleep on his chest. Jo turned into him with a sigh as Alex ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her forehead in gentle circles. She was asleep before she even realized what he was doing.

Alex soothed Jo as she slept, running his fingers through her hair long after she had fallen asleep. He held her, savoring as many little moments as he could with her and replaying them in his mind. He was so caught up in the memories that he almost didn't notice Meredith had come in until she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," Meredith whispered, looking at him with eyes full of concern. "How are you holding up?"

Alex just shook his head and Meredith nodded sadly, silently understanding him.

"What time is it in Zurich?" Alex asked Meredith, looking up at her with determined eyes as Meredith pulled out her phone.

"It's a little after 2:00 pm, so we could probably catch her," Meredith said as she looked back at him. "But let's not wake Jo and the girls."

Alex agarred and slipped away from Jo carefully and paused as his arms left her. He waited, fearing she would wake up feeling that he was gone, but she slept on. Jo sighed but slept on and he kissed her forehead. He made sure that Luna and Helena were still around her with the blankets tucked around them all. They both left the room and walked down the hall to the bench by the window. The rain pelted against the window in a steady beat. They sat down and Alex pulled out his phone, calling Cristina himself.

It rang a few times but Cristina was quick to pick it up. "Hey evil spawn what are you doing calling me so early? You never call me."

"Cristina it's Jo," Alex let out a breath.

They could both feel Christina's mood instantly shift. "Tell me everything."

And Alex did. He told her all about Jo's symptoms, diagnosis, and what Maggie saw on the scans. Along with the treatment plan Maggie and Addison had and the surgery that had planned.

"Well, I agree it's a good plan," Christina said, sounding sure. "I don't think they'll have any trouble with it and hopefully Jo's heart will get stronger after valve replacement, but if it fails I can fly her out and I can get her in the trial for my 3D printed hearts. We're on the second phase of the trial and everything's going really well. The hearts last even longer than a donor heart."

"Well, I was hoping you would come out and do the valve replacement," Alex said, holding his breath as he waited for her responses.

"Alex, it's a simple surgery, Maggie's got more then enough skills to handle it even if there are complications," Cristina tried to reassure him.

"It's not about her skills," Alex had interjected, the stress in his voice taking over. "You're the best Cristina and it's Jo. You're the only person I want working on her heart."

"Okay," Cristina said softly, agreeing with him. "I'll hop on a flight and be there by tomorrow. But you better name your kid after me for this."

She joked with him and Alex managed a smile. "We'll see about that."

"Besides you're supposed to name it after me," Meredith interjected as she lightly elbowed him.

"Was that Meredith? what did she say?" Cristina asked as Alex took her on speaker and Meredith repeated herself.

"I said they have to name the baby after me as I'm the baby's godmother."

"No way, if I do this surgery you have to name the baby after me," Cristina argued back as Meredith got riled up and opened her mouth to say something.

Okay, okay, let's just wait and see, besides Jo wants to name them something unique," Alex said, ending this argument before it could snowball.

"Alright, we'll see what happens," Meredith said with a little smile that Cristina couldn't see.

"Fine, but I don't like it," Cristina said with her usual snippy tone.

"Thank you for doing this Cristina," Alex said, feeling a little bit more relieved now that she was doing Jo's surgery.

"Of course Alex," Cristina said sincerely. "You and Jo are family and I do anything for you both."

Alex got choked up on that and just nodded, although he knew Cristina couldn't see it. Meredith put an arm around his shoulder and replied for him instead.

"We'll see you soon Cristina," Meredith said with a smile.

"See you both soon," Cristina's head before she promptly hung up on them.

Meredith put a hand on his shoulder absent-mindedly rubbing his back. He felt more relieved now that Christina I was doing the surgery. it's not that he didn't trust Maggie or think that she was a good surgeon but. It was Jo and he wanted Cristina because he knew her like a sister and he trusted her more than anyone. Alex took a breath that came out shaker then he expected. Despite his relief he was still so scared that he would lose her. It's in that moment he broke down crying into incessant sobs.

"Oh my God Meredith, what if I, what if I lose them both."

"You're not, You're not going to lose them," Meredith said forcefully, choosing to believe it. "Maggie showed me the scans and the surgery plan. Jo's heart valve isn't that bad. It's mostly aggravated by the increased blood flow due to her pregnancy. Besides, Cristina has done this surgery a hundred times and she's the best Alex. She's never lost a patient on this surgery."

"But it's still surgery on my pregnant wife! We all know how generic surgeries can go wrong. What if something goes wrong and she dies. What if labor is too much and Jo's heart gives out? There's a very real possibility that I could lose her and the baby if not now then later."

"Yes that's a possibility, but you have to focus on the facts that statistically this will go well, okay. You can't let yourself drown in what ifs," Meredith said forcefully grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at her. "Okay, you have to stop thinking like this. You have to believe that Jo and the baby are going to be okay. Do you hear me! Say it to me now, Jo and the baby are going to be okay."

"Jo and, and the baby are going to be okay," Alex forces himself to say it, but not believing the words.

"Good, say it again."

"Jo and the baby are going to be okay," Alex said, the words coming a little easier this time around.

Meredith nodded before she pulled him in for a hug, gripping him tightly. They didn't say much after that. Meredith hugged him for the longest time before they went back to Jo's room. Meredith followed him, staying with him for a little while, doing some chart work as he tried to find something to occupy his mind. The little game that he had played earlier with Luca did the trick for a minute, but his mind wouldn't let him be distracted for long. He eventually tried to fall asleep again as the night wore on.

However, he had only nightmares. He dreamed of Jo fainting, but this time her heart stopped. He watches helplessly as they tried to resuscitate her, but nothing worked. Maggie called the time of death and he watched helplessly. He flashed to Jo's funeral as he stared at her in the coffin. Helena and Luna looked up at him, holding his hand as they asked 'Where's Mama?' Their voices echo the questing in his mind. He just stood there at her grave, day after day, after day as the seasons changed around him, but he couldn't move, he couldn't leave her. In his dreams, he heard Jo call his name. Alex. Alex.

"Alex!"

Alex's eyes opened up as he sat up. He was hot and sweaty all over as he looked around. He recognized the hospital room around him in the morning light. Jo was standing over him, alive and well holding her belly and looking at him with eyes of concern though.

"Are you alright? you were crying out in your sleep and thrashing around," Jo said as she rubbed his shoulder with a warm hand, but he just shook his head.

Alex just stood up and hugged her and Jo didn't need him to explain why. She just hugged him back as he held on to her tightly. The lingering effects of his dream still haunted him. Although he told Meredith he would hope and believe that Jo would be alright, a part of him knew that there was a possibility he could be standing over her grave.

"It's okay, I'm right here," Jo whispered to him as she pressed up against him and he felt their baby kick against his stomach and held onto her a little bit longer.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Alex scolded her although not fully letting go of her and keeping one arm around.

"I was getting some water and going to the bathroom," Jo said as she gestured to the empty water bottle next to her.

"Let me help you," Alex said, putting one around her and for today she let him.

He followed her into the bathroom and waited for her, filling up her water bottle and then helping her back into bed. He moved the girls into the pack and play and got Jo settled in bed again. As she looked up at him, he knew what she would ask before she said it. He crawled into bed with her and held her again. Jo seemed to easily fall asleep again and she slept peacefully, which is something he was thankful for. He held her and didn't fall asleep again, but drifted in and out of consciousness for the next couple hours. Sleeping while holding her helped and the nightmares didn't come back that night.

Until his nightmare came true.