It has been a very long time since I have published fanfiction. However, this story would not leave my mind. I do not have a Beta, but I have read it, and read it, and re-read it. Therefore, if there are errors, it is what it is.

Harry Potter has gotten the Once Upon a Time treatment. Things will have been changed or redone to accommodate for that. Please know that if you don't like fanfiction with mentions of suicide, alcohol abuse, drug use, depression, murder, enemies to lovers, OCs, female Harry Potter, Hook Bashing, Belle Bashing, or anything slightly uncomfortable. This is not your story.

I also don't own anything. Everything is copyrighted. I'm just a lady with a laptop trying to get a story out of her head.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Man, or a Monster

At the Town Line

Rumpelstiltskin watched as Belle spun around and stalked back to town. She was limping in those ridiculous high heels she always wore. Her head held high, like some damn knight off to fight a dragon; except the dragon was defeated and the knight was being a self-righteous prat about it.

He knew why she was angry, of course. He had gone too far. He knew while he was doing it but could never seem to stop. His anxiety and desperation were all consuming. The very idea of anyone touching the dagger was too much. Even Belle.

As it turned out, especially Belle.

Gritting his teeth Rumple stood up and hobbled as best he could toward the woods. He needed to make a cane. Without one, he was going to have a long crawl to the nearest gas station.

This wasn't his first time, alone, without a cane to help him walk. At least the leg was healed this time and not a fresh break. The distance wasn't as long either. Twenty miles was an easier distance to hobble than one hundred.

Shifting through the grass, he found a nicely sized branch. Slipping out his pocketknife, Rumple stripped the bark and small branches and made himself a half decent walking stick. Frowning, he put his knife back in his pocket and stared down at the stick.

His heart was hurting and the voices in his mind were growing louder; hissing and whispering at how much of a failure he was. How, no matter what he did, he would never be good enough for anybody. Swallowing, he shook his head and began focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Physical pain kept the voices away better than anything else.

He was five miles down the road, a good distance from the magic of the town line, when suddenly and without warning a sharp pain exploded behind his eyes. It brought him to his knees. A woman's screams were ringing in his ears, and he saw an evil green light. Memories were being shoved into his mind's eye. A whole other life.

All he could do was watch as he finally learned what the Dark One really was.

Rumpelstiltskin was standing in the middle of a wooded clearing. Before him stood a young girl, around seventeen or eighteen years of age. She had her shoulders thrown back, tall and straight. She was glaring at someone. He followed the girl's gaze and stared in amazement and horror.

He was staring at himself.

A very different version of himself. His skin was a sickly white, his nose was flat and snakelike, he wore black robes, and his eyes were reptilian amber. He looked like a prototype of what the Dark One would later turn its hosts into. Yet, through all the differences he could still see himself. The eyes, the cheek bones, the smirk, was all Rumpelstiltskin.

When could this have possibly happened?

He looked back at the girl. Everything was paused, like time stood still and he found himself face to face with her. She was short, even shorter than he was, and Rumpelstiltskin was not a tall man. She had long beautiful black hair filled with sticks and leaves from the surrounding forest. Her clothes were ripped, torn, and bloody. She had the most determined and sad expression he had ever seen. Yet, what drew him in were her eyes. They were a piercing emerald green that glowed with magic. More magic than he suspected she knew she had.

"Harriet," Rumple whispered, realizing he knew her, "Harriet Potter."

He turned back around and limped to the other version of himself. He felt dread grow in the pit of his stomach. With each step he remembered; the orphanage, Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts, learning magic, the Basilisk, hating muggles, learning soul magic, each horcrux he made and feeling less and less human, emptiness, the dark mark, his death eaters, war, pain, hate, RAGE!

Rumpelstiltskin was on his knees, head between his hands whispering no, no, No, NO! He knew then why he was able to use the magic of the Dark One so easily. Why his heart took longer to corrupt than others. Why it felt so right using the magic that should not have been his.

Because it was him.

Rumpelstiltskin was the Dark One, and the Dark One was Rumpelstiltskin. At some point he had been split down the middle and the two aspects of himself, the man and the monster, had been sent from this world to another.

How the hell could that have happened?

The pain in his head ebbed away and he looked around. He found himself on the deserted road, five miles from the town line. As each memory clicked into place, he felt his magic swirl around him. No longer was he restricted to using magic only in Storybrooke.

He wondered if any of them truly were? Or, if their belief that this was the Land Without Magic kept them from it. Either way, he had no idea of what the hell he was going to do. He was barred from the safety of Storybrooke. Nobody could get back through the town line, and he was not safe in this world.

As he stood, he felt his ankle pinch and instinctively placed his hand on his leg. Rumple allowed his magic to flow downwards, easing his pain. Sighing he pitched his makeshift cane into the woods and looked back toward Storybrooke.

He was a Beast. That was very clear to him. Too much of a beast for his beauty. While he knew for a fact that he was different from the monster he had been, he still wasn't a whole man.

Why was he even alive?

Bae should have left him in that vault. Belle should have stopped Bae when she realized something was wrong, and Regina should never have taken Emma and Henry's memories away.

Everything was fucked up and there was no fixing it.

The one good thing he had done, dying for that damn town, was ruined.

Zelena had ruined any progress toward the light he had made, Belle had his dagger and Merlin knew what she would do with it, and now Henry was alone with Captain Hook. A Captain Hook he had almost killed. A Captain Hook that would turn the boy against him, more than he already was. A Captain Hook that had made no progress toward bettering himself, yet everyone accepted anyway.

Fuck them.

Fuck that town, fuck the Charmings, fuck Regina, fuck Emma….

FUCK BELLE!

Tears fell as he turned his back toward the town he had saved and headed toward the uncertainty of the Land of Hidden Magic. He had no limp to remind him of who he used to be and he had no love to keep him from the Darkness. He had nothing.

Nothing but the certainty of who he had been and the disgust of what he was.

He hated himself.

He didn't want to be here.

He wanted to die.

Rumpelstiltskin stopped and glanced towards the woods. He looked deep into the darkness that dwelled there and ran. He barreled into the woods, trying to remember if he had ever seen a map. Something to indicate where the woods would take him. He felt his shoes scuff his feet but ignored it. He felt limbs and branches tug at his suit and didn't care. He could hear the tears and rips, but he didn't care for that either. He just ran.

Suddenly the trees broke, and he found himself staring over a cliff. He skidded to a stop and looked down. There was nothing below him but a river and more forest.

He could jump.

Would it kill him in the Land of Hidden Magic?

Would it paralyze him?

Was this the coward's way out?

Did he care?

He took a breath and thought of his son. The only person in any of his lives that he had loved fully and without reservation. He thought of Milah and how much she had ripped his heart out. He thought of Cora and how she had seemed to understand him only for him to be sorely disappointed. He thought of Belle and how for one shining moment he thought he had finally found True Love. His parents had abandoned him for power and eternal youth. The spinners he had lived with had cared, but never truly loved him. They had pitied him more than anything.

And then there was Henry Mills.

His own grandson didn't seem to care if they had a relationship, referring to him as Mr. Gold. Rumple had thought to address it but didn't want Henry to refuse to call him Grandpapa and break his heart even more than it was. Belle seemed to think that Henry would refuse his request and so he kept his wish to himself. After all, Henry had jumped at the chance to call David Grandpa but had never stopped calling him Mr. Gold.

His heart fucking hurt.

Funny, he used to pride himself on not having one.

Thinking of the vast difference between who he was now and his time as Lord Voldemort, he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed and when he couldn't laugh anymore.

He jumped.

He hoped dying would fucking hurt.

Storybrooke

2 months later

Ruby was getting tired of Hook's bullshit. Every morning he and Emma came in for coffee and breakfast, and every morning he kept staring down her shirt blouse. Normally, she would have said something about it by this point, but Emma had witnessed the behavior and never said a word. Her smile would tighten, and she would look away. It hurt Ruby's feelings, but she wasn't ready to lose a friend.

Funny, it took Dr. Hopper to finally address the issue.

"Would you please stop staring at Ruby like a piece of meat Captain," Archie had snipped as he paid for his breakfast, "She is a human being."

Hook startled and turned around, looking both embarrassed and angry.

"Why don't you say that again to my face?" Hook snarled, taking a step toward Archie. Emma did nothing as the pirate captain began to bear down on the town conscience.

"You heard me correctly the first time," Archie said calmly. Looking at Hook, he cocked his head in puzzlement and said, "Are you trying to threaten me?"

Hook stopped, realizing what he was doing, but said nothing in return. In fairness, he seemed ashamed of himself, but he also seemed much more content to ignore his slips back into his typical pirate behavior. Looking at Emma, Archie said, "Really Sheriff, I understand that he is your boyfriend, but you really need to do your job in regard to his behavior." Archie paused watching Emma's face become horrified, "Especially since I could easily still press charges against him for kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment and torture."

Emma didn't say anything, she just sputtered and then ran out of the shop with Hook calling after her, "Swan wait!"

Ruby and Archie were quiet for a moment and then Ruby said, "Thank you for that."

Archie looked at Ruby thoughtfully, "You know, everything has been utterly terrible since Rumpelstiltskin was made to leave. People act like they can do whatever they want."

"You mean the villains?" Ruby pressed, wanting to make sure that they were on the same page before she voiced her opinion.

"No," Archie replied, "I mean the heroes too. They act as if everything they do is just and right. When in reality everything they do is…flawed."

Ruby sighed and sagged against the table, "Thank god I'm not the only one that thinks so. It seems that everyone is perfectly happy with letting the heroes do whatever they want." Ruby continued, "If Rumpelstiltskin can get banished, what is stopping them from doing that to anyone else? I mean he saved the whole town, and he is basically invincible!"

"There should have been a trial," Archie continued on but then sighed and conceded, "He did try and kill Hook. Despite my dislike for the man that is against the law." Archie grimaced and said, "Although, he probably would have gotten off."

"Not that it would have hurt a lot of people's feelings, "Ruby whispered, "I don't think they realize just how many people dislike Hook and prefer Rumpelstiltskin." Ruby paused and looked at Granny.

"I mean he was mean and prickly a lot of the time, but we were all used to him," Ruby amended, "Plus it didn't hurt that he would always step in before things got too…. intense."

"Unless he made them intense," Archie replied thinking about the Wraith Gold had sent after Regina.

"I much prefer his controlled chaos to Regina's rage," Ruby replied, conceding that Rumpelstiltskin could be too much.

"That is true," Archie replied, "It was always nice to know that he would be there to curb the worst of Regina. Or push the heroes in the right direction."

Again, they were both quiet. Finally, Archie whispered, "I called him."

"What," Ruby whispered back, leaning forward, "What did he say?"

"I couldn't get through," Archie replied, obviously distraught, "I have tried various times every day and nothing. It rings and rings but always goes to voicemail."

Ruby bit her lip, "Maybe he doesn't have his cell?"

Archie shook his head, "Even if he had left it, he would have already gotten a new one. In case Henry or Belle called."

"I'm not sure he would answer Belle," Ruby replied quietly, "Not after the banishment."

"I…." Archie began but the diner started to become busy and Archie realized that Ruby would soon need to actually work. Making a decision Archie said, "Come to my office. We can talk more there."

Ruby nodded and agreed, "I'll be there at noon."

Archie quickly exited the diner. He was worried about Rumpelstiltskin. Before everyone ran off to Neverland, Gold had been making progress toward bettering himself. They had a few small breakthroughs, in regard to his obsession with his son and where it stemmed from. He had been doing well and Archie had felt that maybe they should focus on some of his control issues when Henry was abducted.

After finding out that Zelena had him captured, Archie had been frantic with worry. He knew that Gold's already fragile mental state and the loss of his son would push him further away from any progress they had made. Which would then push him further into the darkness.

To make matters worse, Belle was constantly in his office crying about it, although she didn't seem to do much toward saving him. She let the heroes take the lead on the rescue mission for Gold, which took far longer than it should have.

After he was back from Zelena's clutches, Archie had waited for him to resume their sessions, but Gold never came. Finally, Archie began calling periodically to check on him. Rumpelstiltskin always answered and always talked with him. They spoke about small things and while Archie tried treating Gold like every other client, it was hard. Rumpelstiltskin desperately needed a friend, and he obviously wasn't going to get one from the heroes.

Not that he really blamed the Nolan's for their standoffish relationship with Gold. He understood their anger and rage. Gold had separated them from their daughter and aided in creating the Dark Curse. However, they seemed fine with Regina, who had actually cast the Dark Curse, killing her own father.

Someone she loved.

Through his conversations with Gold, he found that Zelena had made him suffer far more than others suspected. She had used the dagger to make him be physically affectionate. Not that Gold had said so in many words, but he was a therapist, and he knew how to read between the lines. Besides, Zelena had complete control of Gold. She could have told him to do anything, and he was forced to comply. That was a kind of rape in itself.

It didn't really surprise him when Zelena wound up dead. What did surprise him was the evidence that showed Zelena killed herself. He figured it was a fake. How anyone could believe that Gold wouldn't kill her was beyond him. She killed his son and controlled his every movement for over a year. She was a dead woman as soon as Gold had control of his dagger.

It did surprise him that Rumpelstiltskin had lied to Belle and went behind her back the way he had. The whole relationship breaking down was one huge surprise. If Archie had even an inkling about their problems, he never would have married them. Archie always felt protective of all of his patients, but for some reason he felt even more protective of Rumpelstiltskin.

Maybe it was because he so desperately wanted to be good, and just didn't know how. Maybe it was because he seemed to be filled with love and devotion. A devotion that just needed a proper outlet. Archie had thought it could be Belle, but it seemed that without his son he was lost and not even True Love could save him. Although, with the way she was gallivanting with the Knave of Hearts, he felt that maybe their love wasn't as true as everyone thought.

Frustrated, Archie opened the door to his office and threw himself into his chair. He needed to focus on his current patients, but it was hard when he knew a patient needed him.

Ruby found herself more annoyed with her morning shift than usual. Everyone at the dinner seemed to be on edge today. Most of them had been getting progressively annoyed with the town leadership. Over the last two weeks, Regina seemed to refuse to do her job and instead was seen more and more with the Sheriff. Emma, for her part, seemed to be doing anything else then her actual job.

Petty differences and minor arguments between former heroes and villains were starting to get heated, causing problems with the regular towns' folk. Just last week Ashley and Thomas were arguing with Drizella about side street parking. Now mysterious dead animals were appearing on their lawn. More specially, the mice and birds that Ashley fed. When Ella went to speak with Emma about it, she was nowhere to be found. Poor David was running around trying to take care of the office and all the outgoing complaints.

"I wish they would just fuck already," Grumpy growled as he drank his coffee.

"I don't think that's it, Grumpy," Ruby muttered as she refilled his coffee for the third time.

"No?" Grumpy grunted. He recently had made sure everyone knew that Leroy was his townie name, and he would appreciate it if people would stop using it. Apparently, he hated it. Not that Grumpy was much better in Ruby's opinion, but it wasn't her business.

In fact, most of the townspeople were having petty disputes over what names to call each other and it was all starting to become too much. Everyone was at everyone else's throats, and nobody was at the helm. Storybrooke was leaderless, and it was putting everyone on edge.

"No," Ruby said a bit more firmly, "She is still obsessing over Hook."

"Ugh," Grumpy muttered, "What is up with her and villains and villainess?"

"No clue," Ruby replied, "But honestly I don't think it is our business."

"She is the Savior Ruby," Grumpy sniped, "Not to mention the Sheriff. If she can't be objective, where does that leave us?"

Ruby said nothing. It wasn't like he was wrong, but she very much wished to change the subject. She had been thinking about their problem all morning and had run herself in circles. She kept coming back to one thing.

Rumpelstiltskin was the only one that could conceivably keep everyone in check.

Looking at the clock, Ruby took off her apron and yelled at Granny that she was taking her lunch. She almost made it out of the door when she literally ran into Belle. Muttering a quick, "sorry" she shot out the door. She had no urge to listen to Belle as she moaned and groaned about her relationship with Will Scarlet. She had heard more about that relationship than she cared for. As someone who had still not found her true love, Ruby found it grating that Belle had fallen in and out of love so easily.

Not that Ruby could judge, her cursed-self had been very…. affectionate with other people. Yet, she had never been in love. Belle had, according to her, and now two months after her separation from her husband and supposed True Love, she said she felt that she was possibly in love again.

Those two things did not compute for Ruby. If Belle wanted to embrace her inner Lacey and have fun, then good on her, but she didn't like seeing or hearing about people being so easily replaced. In her opinion, that was what Belle was doing. Replacing a man that was hard to love with someone that Belle could fix.

Knocking on Archie's door she waited for the "please come in" and quickly slipped in and found her customary seat. When she had been just waitress Ruby, she had come here a lot to try and curb her nymphomaniac tendencies, as she called them, but never could. Of course, that had more to do with the curse than her own self.

"So, what are we going to do?" Ruby asked her former therapist. Archie just sighed in frustration and leaned forward. Technically, it was unethical to be so casual with a former patient, but Storybooke was cut off from the rest of the world. Besides, it was impossible in this town not to break boundaries.

"I'm not sure that we can," Archie said, thinking deeply. He was searching through a notebook on his desk. Ruby tried not to seem too interested in it.

"We can't get a hold of him through phone or text. I have tried his email," Archie went on, "None of the others mention him. Belle has moved on to another man. None of them seem to know what to do with Gold's dagger since they allow her to carry it around in her purse." Archie paused and made a face, "And Henry hasn't said a word either."

"Still seeing him then?" Ruby asked, not really interested but trying to make conversation.

"Ruby, you know I can't tell you that," Archie said with a light glare and Ruby made a face in his direction.

"Should we even do anything?" Ruby asked with a sigh, "I mean Gold is an asshole and would probably sell us out if it furthered his plans. Why the fuck are we worried?"

"We have a soft spot for him," Archie offered, "I know that I rather like him. He has always made me feel valued and listened to as a person." Archie was quiet, "Most people have overlooked me ever since we came to Storybrooke. Even after the curse was broken and we had our memories back. He never has."

Ruby was quiet and nodded in agreement, "Gold is very good at making people feel valued. He never discounts anyone's potential."

Archie agreed and shut the book, frustrated. Ruby bit her lip. She knew what needed to be done. She just didn't know how Archie felt about doing it.

"We need to see the Sorcerer's Apprentice."

Archie looked at Ruby for a moment. It hadn't occurred to him to seek the Apprentice's council. Mostly because he gave all magic users a wide berth, but also because this town was nosey. Archie would rather have the Dark One back in town before anyone knew he was involved with his return.

"We should probably do it after hours," Archie replied after a moment of contemplative silence, "Don't want anyone to know what we are up to and curse us."

Ruby nodded. She had no doubt that if people found out what they intended someone would try and stop them. She didn't want to have to hurt anyone. She didn't like to use her wolf, but if they pushed her. She would.

There were many heroes and villains that had been glad to see the Dark One gone. Mostly, because they no longer had to worry about what type of blackmail, he had on them. Many of them would do desperate things to keep Rumpelstiltskin out of town.

However, the rest of the townspeople, the "small folk" as they used to be called, had been rather anxious about his banishment. As it turned out, he had been helping many of them under the guise of certain charities. Those charities were now being run by Dove and it was said he was struggling. Dove had no love for Belle and was refusing to ask for assistance. He was a loyal man, and he was particularly upset that his employer had been banished.

Archie swallowed and looked at his watch. It would soon be time for his next client, and he didn't want to keep them waiting. Still, he was conflicted. He knew he was going to try and help Rumpelstiltskin, but that also meant he would have to draw on his background. A background he tried so hard to forget. However, it was becoming obvious that nobody in Storybrooke could live completely innocent lives. In order to take care of their town, Archie would have to get inventive.

"I'll see you around ten this evening," Ruby said, as she stood to go back to work.

Archie nodded, still deep in thought. Hopefully, they could find some way to bring Gold back. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Storybrooke was going to implode without some sort of intervention.

It worried Archie that they might be too late.