One Man Army
Chapter 1 :What do you mean a mob?
A/N: so this is a story I'm playing with. I have a few chapters written at this point. We'll see how it goes and how much I publish, but the general idea was 'what if Naruto had a more organized clone army' and it grew from there.
-OMA-
"Did you see that teme's face when I summoned all those clones Iruka-sensei?" Naruto crowed loudly, earning a handful of hateful looks from the other patrons at Ichiraku's. Not that Naruto cared, he was still riding high from all the awesome shit that went down. First he learned a kick ass jutsu, then he got to use said jutsu to kick that lying traitor Mizuki's ass, and the Iruka made him an official Konoha ninja!
"It was pretty astounding," Iruka chuckled. "I don't know if even lord third could make so many shadow clones."
"You got that right!" Naruto happily agreed. "He can go ahead and hand that hat of mine right over."
"I still think there's a few years left before you're ready for that Naruto," Iruka chided his student gently with a soft smile on his face. Naruto shot a rather pout like glare his way. Iruka did his best not to chuckle, and gave the boy an encouraging hair ruffle.
"Not even jiji could possibly stand up to an army of Narutos!" Naruto shouted as he tried to swipe Iruka's hand away.
"If I ever see one I'll let you know if I agree," Iruka countered.
"What are you talking about?!" Naruto exclaimed in outrage, his eyebrows scrunching as he glared at Iruka. "What about that army I used against Mizuki-teme?"
"That wasn't an army Naruto, it was a mob," Iruka huffed, fighting back the smirk at Naruto falling right into his little trap.
"Mob, army, what's the difference?" Naruto shrugged.
"The difference Naruto," Iruka began, doing his best to pin Naruto down with a firm look to ensure he was listening. Luckily he had learned exactly what it took to get Naruto to listen during his tenure as his teacher, so he had high hopes he could at least get this one last lesson to stick. "Is discipline."
Iruka could admit that Naruto's face fault wasn't quite the reaction he was hoping for.
"I'm serious Naruto!" Iruka groused, fighting the urge to yell at his disrespectful pupil. The urge to use his big-head jutsu was quashed, even if it was a struggle.
"You're wrong Iruka-sensei," Naruto refused, quickly beginning to shake his head in denial. "My clones are super disciplined. Not one of them disobeyed or lashed out against the other clones."
"There's more to discipline than following orders Naruto," Iruka said with an exasperated sigh. "I also doubt your clones follow orders all that well either. They just didn't stick around long enough to display your disrespect for authority."
"I respect authority!" Naruto shouted.
Iruka fixed him with a glare, though he doubted that Naruto saw the irony of his outburst. "Regardless," Iruka continued. "An army's discipline also includes things like formations, technique, and teamwork. Your clones didn't have any of that."
Naruto scowled and crossed his arms, staring down at the bar. Iruka couldn't help but sigh, he wasn't really trying to beat his student down, even if his big head could probably use someone to keep it in check, he really was trying to help him.
"Don't worry Naruto," Iruka reassured him as he threw an arm around the boy's shoulder. "I know you have the potential to be an excellent shinobi."
"Believe it!" Naruto shouted, a new look of determination on his face. "All right Iruka-sensei, that settles it. I'm not gonna let anyone talk down about my army! Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna become the most disciplined shinobi in the elemental nations."
"That's a good goal, Naruto," Iruka couldn't help but smile at Naruto's exuberance.
"And you're gonna help me!" Naruto declared.
"That's nice…WHAT?!"
-OMA–
Naruto woke up gasping, freezing cold, and soaking wet. Instantly on high alert he quickly found a grinning Iruka standing at the foot of his bed, a rather large bucket in his hands, a suspiciously empty bucket.
"Up shinobi!" Iruka screamed, his iconic big head jutsu almost certainly causing hearing damage if the ringing in Naruto's ears was any indication. "You have ten minutes to get dressed and meet me at the academy training grounds."
With that Iruka disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
Naruto stared at where the academy instructor had been moments before in furious confusion. Grumbling, he dragged himself out of his now wet bed sheets, and threw on his jumpsuit. He didn't even have time for breakfast! Opening his window he took to the rooftops and quickly made it to the academy, where he found Iruka standing in front of an empty field.
"What's the deal Iruka-sensei!?" Naruto demanded as he landed in front Iruka.
A fist to the top of the head was his only answer.
"A shinobi does not question his superiors," Iruka barked, voice firm and unyielding.
Naruto grumbled and got back to his feet, glaring at Iruka. He flinched when Iruka brought his fist back up, and his glare quickly shifted to more of a pout.
"Welcome to your first day of shinobi boot camp," Iruka grinned. "I have seven days to whip you into shape before you're officially placed on a genin squad and no longer under my authority. We have no time to waste. Do you understand me, genin?"
"Hai," Naruto grumbled. Iruka raised his fist again and Naruto was quick to repeat his affirmation in a much clearer voice.
"Good," Iruka nodded. "First thing's first. I want you to make as many clones as you can."
"Shadow clones?" Naruto asked.
"Confirmed," Iruka responded.
Naruto grinned and brought up a ram sign. "Get ready to be blown away!" he shouted as he channeled the chakra. A poof of smoke filled the field, and when it cleared you could see about a hundred Narutos standing haphazardly around. "Not bad, huh?" Naruto asked, panting slightly from the effort.
"What do you think you're doing?" Iruka bellowed, his big head jutsu carrying his voice clear to the other side of the field as if he were shouting directly into each and every Naruto's ears. "Form up! I want perfect rows and columns, and I want them now! Ten wide, however many across necessary."
"Hai!" all the clones shouted.
Quickly the clones began to swarm, turning the field into a frenzy of chaos. More than once two clones bumped into each other, or fought, leading to small puffs of smoke as they dispelled. It took them nearly ten minutes to form a rather poor set of lines.
"Come here Naruto," Iruka ordered.
The real Naruto came forward and stood beside Iruka. When Naruto was in place Iruka quickly went through seven hand signs, finishing the set by smacking the earth. "Doryūheki!"
"Whoa!" Naruto shouted as the two of them were quickly carried into the air by the earthen wall.
Iruka walked to the edge of the wall, looking out onto the mass of clones, and he couldn't help but shake his head. It was worse than he thought. Not only were the lines quickly falling out of shape as the clones got antsy, but the ones in the back were already talking amongst themselves.
Iruka took three kunai out and quickly threw them at the feet of the ones talking the loudest. Ideally he would have called all of them out, but he needed enough remaining to actually work with. All the clones had shut up now, and were staring at Iruka.
"Today marks your first day of boot camp," Iruka declared, his voice still strong enough to carry to the back of the crowd even without his big head jutsu. "We will be reviewing taijutsu, ninjutsu, genjutsu, and most importantly discipline."
There was some excited murmuring from the crowd of clones, but a growl from the back of Iruka's throat quickly shut them all up.
"To you three," he said, pointing to the three clones with kunai before them. "Thank you for volunteering."
"Volunteering?" the real Naruto asked.
"You three displayed the worst discipline," Iruka explained. "And so you will help me show exactly how I will be instilling it in you. Now come forward."
The clones looked at each other unsurely before the three came forward with cocky grins on their faces.
"What's it gonna be Iruka-sensei?" one of them asked.
"Laps, push-ups?" another laughed.
"Whatever you got, we can handle it!" the last declared.
Iruka couldn't help but smirk. He pulled out a scroll and quickly threw it down. One of the clones caught it.
"What's this?" the Naruto asked.
"Open it," Iruka instructed, failing to keep the humor out of his voice.
The clone opened the storage scroll, and then quickly set it down when smoke started to leak out of it. All three leapt back as a cloud of smoke burst from the scroll. When it cleared they could all see a bookshelf full of books, with subjects ranging from chakra theory to world history.
"You must each choose one book," Iruka explained. "You may not rejoin the formation until you have completed the entire thing."
"What!?" All the clones, and even the real Naruto, screamed in outrage.
"But what about training?" a clone shouted.
"This is cruel and unusual punishment!" another cried.
"Silence!" Iruka screamed out over the crowd. He waited until the clones had all shut up before he continued. "As your academy instructor the punishments I was allowed to assign were heavily regulated. Now, I am not your instructor. I am your military superior. That means what I say, goes. You do not question it. You do not think about it. I say jump, you jump. Am I understood?"
There was a series of grumbles from the clones, and even the real Naruto. Iruka sighed and brought out a note that he quickly passed to the real Naruto. He smirked as Naruto paled.
"I don't wanna hear it!" Naruto shouted. He pointed at the three clones out of formation. "You will get to work on those books, you hear me?!"
"Hai!" the clones instantly saluted and each grabbed a book from the shelves before moving off to the side to read them.
Iruka couldn't help but smirk. He knew threatening to cut off Naruto's access to Ichiraku's was the best threat to get the blond to do what he wanted.
"The rest of you!" Iruka shouted. "We will be going through the Academy Taijutsu kata."
The grumbling was significantly less this time, which was good, it meant the clones were learning. He threw a single kunai this time, at the loudest desenter.
"Just for that you can join the others reading," Iruka yelled. He ignored the clones cursing as it left formation and went to grab a book.
"Now, opening stance!" Iruka called as he fell into the stance.
-OMA-
Iruka sighed as he watched the clones. They had been going through the stances of the basic kata for nearly an hour at this point, but progress was slow. He called out corrections, he showed them the proper way to do things, but improvement was simply non-existent.
"Not bad, huh Iruka sensei?" Naruto asked from beside Iruka where he too was doing the kata.
"Not bad?" Iruka asked, honestly too flabbergasted to be angry.
"Yeah!" Naruto grinned. "I wasn't very good when we first learned this stuff, so one of the instructors took me aside and showed me what I was doing wrong. I practiced for weeks to make sure I got the moves down. It was really hard, they don't feel natural at all."
Iruka face palmed as he finally saw the issue. It wasn't that Naruto was stupid or uncoordinated, he was taught incorrectly and had practiced to the point that the mistakes were ingrained. At this point, the academy style was shot, which was a big problem when one considered that almost every style in Konoha used academy style as its base. He'd need to think on a solution for this.
"Alright," Iruka called as he pulled himself from his thoughts. "That's enough!"
The Naruto clones all straightened up, smiling and laughing with each other. Since they mostly stayed in formation Iruka decided to let it slide for now.
"Next," Iruka called and the clones all quieted down, several looking fearfully at the four who were still struggling to get through their books. "We will be working on chakra control."
Iruka was pleased that while several clones flinched at the news, only one grumbled aloud. He was quick to send that clone to join the book club.
-OMA-
Iruka sat at the bar later that night, drinking from a saucer of sake and thinking of what he could do to help Naruto. He had checked, and he was just as much a disaster with kunai, shuriken, and ninja wire. He didn't want to destroy the boy's confidence, so he hadn't yet told him what the problem was, but he knew he needed to before he tried to use any of them in a serious setting and ended up hurting himself. He just wanted to have a solution in hand before he did so Naruto would have something to latch onto.
"Iruka!" Yugauo cheered as she plopped down into the seat next to him.
"Yugau," Iruka returned, before seeing the purple haired anbu's boyfriend was with her. "Hayate."
"You enjoying your week off?" Yugao asked with a grin. She had already swiped his saucer and was now refilling it from the bottle of sake in front of him.
"I've actually agreed to help out one of my graduates," Iruka explained. "Sort of like remedial lessons in a way."
"Wow," Yugao chuckled. "What sob story managed to get you to give up your only free week of the year?"
"Naruto can be quite persistent when he gets an idea in his head," Iruka sighed.
"The Uzumaki?" Yugao asked in surprise.
Iruka couldn't help but give her a suspicious glare at her outburst. Sure, he himself had once held some hatred for Naruto, but he was rather defensive of him now that he could see he had just been shifting his anger at the Kyubi onto the boy.
"Whoa, whoa," Yugao backpedaled as she held up her hands defensively. "I don't have anything against the boy. I barely even know the kid. All I know is Kakashi-senpai has a soft spot for him."
"What?" Iruka gasped.
"Shit," Yugao cursed. "I don't suppose you'd just forget I said anything?"
"Not a chance," Iruka shook his head.
"Look, I don't know a whole lot about it," Yugao explained, leaning close and keeping her voice down. "Kakashi-senpai has always kept an eye on the kid. I think he knew his parents or something. But you know how he is. He's kept his distance, never really spoken to the kid as far as I know."
"Huh," Iruka hummed as he mulled it over. He'd never really gotten any leads on Naruto's parents before. He hadn't even thought of it overly much.
He knew Kakashi as well as any ninja of Konoha, which was to say he knew his bingo book entry and little else. Sharingan no Kakashi, the man who copied a thousand jutsu. He was made a genin at 5, chunin at 6, and jonin at 12. A master of assassination and demolition, he was trained under the fourth hokage, Minato Nami-
"Son of a bitch!" Iruka shouted, startling Yugau and Hayate and causing them to spill sake all over themselves.
He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. They looked practically identical!
"What? What is it?" Yugao demanded.
Iruka's mind was whirling with all the implications. Naruto Uzumaki was the son of Minato Namikaze, the fourth hokage. It was earth shattering news. The village would be in uproar if it came out. Not to mention how the other elemental nations would react. Iwa's relationship with Konoha was frosty at the best of times, if they found out that their greatest enemy, their boogeyman, had a kid? It could start a war.
Yet at the same time, what did it actually change? It's not as though Naruto would magically learn the Hiraishin if learned the truth. The fourth hokage wouldn't magically resurrect either.
He was lost, this was impossibly huge, but at the same time Iruka had no idea what to do with it. He didn't even see anything he could do with it. He couldn't tell Naruto, the boy couldn't keep it to himself. Not yet at least. He needed more discipline. Should he tell the hokage that he knew? No, it was probably a pretty high class secret. Knowing high class secrets was a shinobi's bread and butter, but revealing what you know, even to your own superiors, tended to end badly.
"Iruka!" Yugao yelled in his ear, drawing him out of his runaway train of thought. "Shit man, thought we lost you there."
"Sorry," Iruka tried to laugh off his internal panic. He threw out the first excuse he could think of to try and divert attention. "I was just thinking about Naruto's training. He's been practicing on his own and ingrained some pretty bad habits. I think I need to teach him something completely unrelated to what he was taught in the academy."
"You could always teach him some kenjutsu," Yugao offered. "It isn't like anything at the academy."
"I don't know any," Iruka grumbled, his shoulders slouching as a dark cloud formed over his head. Kenjutsu was a popular art in Konoha, but it wasn't taught in many places except Anbu. Iruka had always wanted to learn, but he never got the chance, having never joined the Konoha black ops division.
"Hayate could lend a hand and teach him the basics," Yugao offered, throwing an arm around his shoulder and dragging him closer so he had no choice but to finally join the conversation.
"What?!" Hayate huffed in exasperation, before quickly putting his head in his elbow and coughing.
"Yeah," Yugao nodded. "He's on sick leave for a few weeks, so it'd be perfect. Help get him out of the house."
"Geez Yugao-chan," Hayate sighed as he sagged in his seat.
"You'll do it, won't you Hayate-kun?" Yugao pouted. "I'd do it myself, but I still have missions."
"Fine," Hayate groaned.
"Why?" Iruka couldn't help but ask. "Why would you do this for Naruto?"
"Not really doing it for him," Yugao shrugged. "Hayate would stay in the apartment all day, and I think this'll be good for him."
Iruka shot a look at Hayate, who was back to drinking and ignoring their conversation. He couldn't help but sweat drop at the man's attitude. Was this really the guy that was going to help him teach Naruto?
-OMA-
Iruka was quite pleased to find Naruto already at the academy when he arrived at 5 am on the dot. Naruto already had a formation of clones already formed before the earthen wall they had used yesterday. He couldn't help but smirk at that.
"Who told you to have clones ready?" Iruka yelled.
"What?" Naruto gasped as he looked between the perfect lines the clones had formed and his frowning teacher. "But Iruka-"
"Dispel them!" Iruka cut him off.
Naruto grumbled, but was quick to dispel the clones. Iruka tossed the real Naruto a bokken.
"What's this?" Naruto asked.
"No questions!" Iruka shouted. "Now summon the clones."
Naruto gaped at Iruka before scowling. With the bokken tucked under his arm he formed the ram seal and the clones reappeared. When Iruka saw they were once again in a haphazard arrangement, he smacked Naruto on the head.
"What is this?" Iruka demanded as he pointed at the clones.
"Stop that!" Naruto shouted. "You asked for clones, you got clones."
"Dispel them," Iruka commanded.
Naruto's scowl was fierce, but he was still quick to follow orders. It gave Iruka another idea.
"When I tell you to do something you will respond 'Hai Boss'," he told Naruto. (Buchou- how a military superior is addressed according to a quick google)
"Boss?!" Naruto gasped.
"I am your military superior, am I not?" Iruka asked, his voice steely and his glare firmly on Naruto.
"H-hai boss," Naruto agreed quickly.
"Good," Iruka nodded. "Now, reform the clones, in proper formation this time."
"Hai boss," Naruto nodded.
The formation wasn't perfect, but it was far superior to the haphazard mess it had been before. Iruka still took pleasure in calling out the six clones who were clearly not close enough to the lines the others were in and sending them to get books to read.
"Boss?" Naruto called from beside him.
"Yes Naruto?" Iruka encouraged, he may be trying to instill discipline, but he was still a teacher at heart.
"What's up with the reading anyways?" Naruto asked.
"It's two fold really," Iruka explained. "First, I know you. You have more stamina than just about anyone I know."
"Believe it!" Naruto cheered.
Iruka fixed him with a quick glare that brought his energy levels back down.
"That means physical punishments are less effective, something that was clearly proven during our time at the academy together," Iruka went on, remembering all the times he had assigned Naruto extra laps or push-ups, the two most common academy punishments. "However, you have always held a certain distaste for the more academic parts of ninja life. This makes studying and reading an ideal punishment for you."
"Who cares why we went to war with Iwa when I could be learning sick jutsu?" Naruto asked.
"Why did we go to war with Iwa?" Iruka prompted.
"Iwa was being a pain in the ass," Naruto huffed.
"How so?" Iruka pushed.
"Well, the five great nations were kind of lax from the extended peace after the second shinobi war," Naruto explained. "The smaller nations were more prone to fighting with the five as a result. Iwa tried to take advantage of this by invading Kusa and pushing at the land of fire's borders."
"Very good Naruto," Iruka nodded. It wasn't perfect, but it was a whole hell of a lot better than any of the answers Naruto put on the graduation test. "Now, how did you know that?"
"It was in one of the books from yesterday, 'Rise and Reign of the Fourth'," Naruto huffed.
"And this is the second reason I decided to use this method," Iruka explained. "Shadow clones are originally designed as an infiltration tool, designed to go beyond enemy lines when it's too dangerous for a standard team. They allow the user to recall everything the clone experiences with perfect recall."
"Whoa," Naruto gasped.
"Yes," Iruka nodded. "That perfect recall is a useful tool. It is what is allowing you to recall the books so well, and it is also going to help make sure all that I'm teaching you this week sticks in that head of yours. Now, are you ready to begin?"
"Hai boss!" Naruto, and all the clones, called as one.
"Jeez, too loud," a new voice huffed, before breaking out into a small coughing fit.
"Intruder!" several clones shouted as all of the Narutos, clones and original, fell into ready stances, poor as they were.
"Silence!" Iruka yelled, big head active, as he smashed his fist into Naruto's head.
"What the hell boss?" Naruto cried as he got back to his feet.
"This is Hayate Gekko," Iruka explained. "He's agreed to help me out this week. You're lucky. He's one of the few kenjutsu specialists in Konoha, so you better listen well to everything he says. Got it?"
"Hai boss!" all the Narutos called.
Iruka smirked as Hayate quietly got up on the rock wall and the training began.
–OMA-
Iruka really owed Hayate, and more so Yugao for forcing him to do this. Hayate had trained Naruto until noon in the basic stances and katas of swirling leaf, the rather pretentious name of Konoha's Anbu style kenjutsu. The whole time he had lectured about the proper way to approach enemies, work together with others using the style, and called out any mistakes he saw.
He even suggested a rather ingenious method to ensure Naruto didn't accidentally ruin the hard work put into training him when he practiced. Normally you'd have someone watch you, pointing out your mistakes as you training, but Naruto could just have a clone watch him. He could even create pairs of clones to train together so he could keep up the clone style training they were doing now.
Hayate had promised to be there every morning until the team selections, and Iruka was ecstatic. Naruto was already comfortable with the basics. He'd be well on his way to being a competent swordsman by the end of the week.
"Alright," Iruka called as he looked out at the newly reformed clone ranks, each with a bokken still firmly in hand. "We'll now be working on your team work!"
The clones grinned, and Iruka couldn't help but smirk at their ignorance and over confidence.
"Ten man cells, now!" Iruka barked.
"Hai boss!" the clones responded, before chaos rained on the field.
After several minutes, and several puffs of smoke, the clones stood in smaller ten man groups. Iruka was pleased to see they had tried to get into a miniature formation, but they weren't standardized. He saw groups in a single line, a double line, and even one group lined up ten deep.
"Two lines, five across!" Iruka shouted. It took another minute for them to get in the desired formations.
"Naruto," Iruka called, voice quiet but still firm.
"Hai boss?" Naruto asked as he stepped up.
"What is the most important thing for any army?" Iruka asked.
"Logistics," Naruto answered instantly, remembering it from 'A Hokage's Perspective' the memoir of the second Hokage.
"Correct," he acknowledged before turning to the clones. "The leader of each group step forward."
Each and every clone took a step forward. A single moment of silence passed before chaos reigned. Shouting, swearing, and more than a bit of fighting were rampant.
"Silence!!" Iruka shouted, his big head jutsu being pushed to the limit to be heard over the cacophony of noise.
The field froze, every Naruto clone looking at Iruka with wide fearful eyes. The devious smile on his face making them very afraid for what was about to happen.
"Each and every one of you will now proceed to the book club," he informed them.
"No!" several clones cried out in despair.
Naruto could only place a hand over his heart, tears in his eyes as he watched them slowly march to their doom. Not a single clone was left on the field.
"What now boss?" Naruto asked.
Iruka just smirked. "I want a new formation of clones," Iruka barked. "And I want it perfect. One hundred clones, in ten man cells, in formation."
Naruto paled, but he was at least getting the point of this week. "Hai boss!"
–OMA-
"Well, it took ten tries, but this is pretty good Naruto," Iruka complimented his student.
"Thank…thank you…boss," Naruto panted, barely able to stay on his feet.
"Take five Naruto," Iruka told him as he ruffled his hair. Realistically he probably shouldn't have pushed so hard, but Naruto didn't know the meaning of quit. A thousand clones within fifteen minutes was enough that anyone else would be in a coma.
"Clones," he called as he looked out at the sea of Naruto clones.
"Hai boss!" they chorused as one.
"This will henceforth be known as the standard clone formation," Iruka explained. "A ten man cell will be your base unit. The clone in charge will be the clone in the front left corner, henceforth to be called 1. Each unit will be numbered, starting in the front left with Alpha. Both counting measures go right down the line before moving to the next row. Any questions?"
"No boss!" the clones called.
"Good," Iruka nodded. "We will be working on teamwork within the ten man cells."
Iruka quickly went through hand signs before spitting out ten globs or earth. Each one landed before one of the cells and grew until perfect copies of Iruka stood before each cell.
"Alpha squad this way!" the first called.
Quickly each squad was led off to a different part of the field and began working on their coordination. Iruka was panting rather hard, and fell down next to Naruto.
"What…what was that jutsu boss?" Naruto asked, still breathing rather hard.
"Rock clones," Iruka explained. "They're the hardiest of the clones, but they aren't quite as useful as shadow clones. You don't get their memories and they can only use doton jutsu."
"Do you think that means they'd be really good for this kenjutsu stuff?" Naruto wondered.
"I hadn't considered that," Iruka admitted.
Thinking on it, it would make sense. Naruto didn't really know any real jutsu, and the shadow clones couldn't survive even a single hit.
"Tell you what Naruto," Iruka sighed. "Once the two of us catch our breath we can see how you do learning it, deal?"
"Deal boss," Naruto nodded. Then fell back, dead asleep.