J

I climbed into the large, black Suburban that had been dispatched to take us to the MTV Movie Awards; I was holding the edge of my thigh-revealing dress so I wouldn't accidently flash my undies. Thoughts of my friends, of Fred's slow recovery and that I wasn't there to help, were with me even though my friends were thousands of miles away on the other side of the States.

I sat quickly in the single seat, ridding myself of my stilettos to make the climb into the bench back seat easier, tamping down the budding nervousness growing from the anticipation. Lisa climbed in behind me, looking devastatingly gorgeous. She was wearing fitted black jeans, a black V-neck tee, a gray blazer, and her game face. The scent of her cologne was enough to make me want to strip her bare and nuzzle her neck for a few hours.

She leered over at me, smirking with those wet lips that knew my secrets, reminding me that all of this celebrity ass-kissing, management team ordering, fan-pleasing hoopla came with the game.

"What?" Her question came out as a low, hungry purr.

All I could do was smile and keep the overwhelming craziness in perspective. Nuzzling her nakedness would come later. I bit my bottom lip, thinking about rolling my tongue over all of her secret spots. My mouth was actually watering from thinking about it. Her eyes darkened. "I like the way your mind works. Can you hold that thought for a few hours?"

Mike cleared his throat and by his private little chuckle I could tell we weren't discreet enough.

David sat in front of me, playing with his Rolex again, going over the details of our evening. Trish sat in the single seat in front of Lisa, reviewing some papers and then giving Lisa the rundown of what was expected at our arrival.

I could tell by Lisa's concerned look that she was more worried about me than another public appearance.

Leaning her head toward me, she softly asked, "You okay?"

My mind initially screamed "hell no" after seeing the huge crowds gathered. Instead I nodded sharply, giving her my most assured smile. "Oh sure. This is old hat," I joked. I felt the warmth of her hand when her fingers laced with mine.

Lisa gave me a tug and a trademark smart-ass smirk, finding the humor in my response. "Old hat. Cocky. Love it."

That still didn't ease the stranglehold of nervous excitement twisting my stomach as we slowed in the line of cars depositing other celebrity attendees. Mike, David, and Trish exited the car first and closed the doors. Lisa and I slid to the middle seats by the doors, where I put my shoes back on, waiting for our cue to exit. Mike would not let us get out until our other security escort was present and he'd had an opportunity to do a scan of the scene. I knew the drill: stay in formation, keep moving. Mike was always positioned behind Lisa on his right side.

Lisa was agitated by the sheer number of people milling about. "I'm not talking to any press." She growled a low reminder at Trish when Mike opened his door.

No sooner did her toe hit the ground than people started screaming and yelling for her attention. It was so comforting when she turned back to take me by the hand; I knew we were going in as a team.

"We're to the left for press photos," Trish advised, steering us toward a huge wall with the MTV logo and year printed in a repeat pattern.

I wanted to let go of her hand so I wouldn't have to pose for pictures. This wasn't about me being here; I had come to terms with that. This was all about the celebrity making an appearance that drove the frenzied crowd to near madness. Lisa faltered a bit, unsure at first of what was expected of her. There was always someone instructing, guiding, telling her to go there, stand here, head in that direction. No matter how many times she'd done this before, I could see through the façade that she was nervous.

I watched her take a deep breath and steel her shoulders. In an instant, my humble lover transformed back into the revered A-list movie star. she posed her body with empowered confidence, gave her signature smirk smile, and oozed that natural sexiness that was so graciously captured in thousands of pictures.

It was difficult not to be awed by it.

I panned the entire crowded entrance, the beginning of the red carpet, scanning for familiar faces, for danger, for clarity in the chaos. I stood back while Lisa posed in front of the wall for the throng of photographers. She was moved down the wall in what seemed like five-foot increments while photographers shouted for her to turn in their direction. When she got to the end of the wall, I could see the glaze forming over her eyes from enduring flash after flash.

She held out her hand to me, reclaiming her hold.

"We have—" David started, but Lisa cut him off, tugging me back to the space she'd just occupied on the wall. Her hand slid to my ribs, pulling me into her side where I fit perfectly, posing us for the cameras.

My nerves were humming with excitement as I put on my best smile for them, for her.

"We look smashing, darling," she uttered near my ear, joking with a funny accent to lighten the situation. I felt myself relax a bit more, knowing I was exactly where I was supposed to be, supporting my future wife.

After the prerequisite photo op, our entourage hurried us down the standard red carpet, avoiding all of the microphones, from every media outlet imaginable, that tilted out from behind the barriers, while other lesser-known actors and actresses were basking in the attention. Lisa was scheduled to be interviewed backstage, where she would talk the talk.

We were ushered to an open section of outdoor concrete where I spotted Mina Myoui, Lisa's co-star in the Seaside films. She was chatting it up with a man and another woman when she spotted me; her smile quickly faded as she eyed me up and down, as if I'd offended her by making an appearance here.

Call it cattiness, but something in me made me twist the huge diamond on my finger, my silent way of telling her to suck it.

I knew that they were going to be presenting a sneak peek of the second Seaside film tonight to ramp up the pending premiere, not to mention that Lisa and Mina were up for several awards. She wasn't a threat as much as she was a thorn in my side. I'd never forgive her for the trouble she caused when Lisa and I first got together, her silver tongue crafting stories, leading me to believe I was just a foolish conquest of her. I'd have to deal with her a few hundred more times, since Lisa had one more film and two press junkets to go through before she was rid of the franchise. I didn't even want to think about all the interviews and magazine shoots to come.

Before I knew it, Mina was standing next to Lisa, pretending to tease her in her own playful way with mock punches. "Hey stranger," she said on a giggle. Lisa gave her the obligatory distant hug but that was the extent of it. She leaned and gave me a quick shoulder hug as if we were long-lost friends who quite possibly were moments away from stabbing each other in the back. "So good to see you."

I was shocked by her overt gesture but played it casual. "Good to see you, too. How have you been?" I figured it was benign enough. I could see she was straining to be polite just as much as I was.

Mina became animated, displaying exhaustion from an obvious busy career. "I had literally no time to even get ready for this. I just flew in from New York this morning."

Even though Lisa was involved in another conversation with some man and woman who were blatantly sucking up to her, she entwined her fingers with mine and brought them up to her lips, kissing my left hand while sliding her eyes to Mina. I was confused at first until Mina scowled, which then had me smiling.

I let her babble on and pretended to be enthralled with her stories even though her presence alone invoked unpleasant memories of my first encounter with this wretched girl. She was the epitome of every diva story you'd ever heard about spoiled rich girls, even going so far as to tell us how deplorable the filming conditions were. If her fans ever knew what she was like in real life they'd probably all stop going to see her movies.

I felt Lisa squeeze my hand twice, a silent reminder that she was paying attention to my situation even though she was busy having her career manhandled by David. Her thumb skated over my skin, comforting me with her unspoken acknowledgment. I felt cherished by her private gesture.

"Lisa," Mina interrupted, "we need to discuss what we're going to do if we win." A twinge of jealousy struck me as she enthusiastically discussed how to accept their award, thinking of clever ways to act out their "best kiss" onstage. Thinking of Lisa kissing anyone made me slightly crazy. I wanted to grab her by the hair and twirl her around but then what would that accomplish? No. I had to get a grip on my jealousy. She's an actor, I reminded myself. Shit.

Small hands wrapped around my waist, startling me. It was such a relief to see Wendy Shon and her husband, Jaehyun Yuno, smiling back at me. I hugged her fiercely.

"I can't wait for September," Wendy uttered, bringing up the multi-country press junket for Seaside II.

The first stop was Berlin. "I need a partner in crime. Please tell me you're going with Lisa."

Lisa leaned back and answered for me. "She's going." And just like that, she resumed her other conversation.

I smiled, slightly astonished that she was even listening, considering all the commotion that was going on around us. Wendy squealed excitedly and clapped her hands, almost springing up and down in her designer pumps. She had just grabbed me to hug me again when I saw another familiar face, though the expression on it appeared sad.

I moved my head to peer around Wendy's hair to get a better look at Lisa's co-star from Slipknot —Jisoo Kim. I wondered why she was so distraught. Too many people blocked my view, so I stepped back out of Wendy's grasp and took a few sidesteps to my left, forcing Lisa to release my hand.

Jisoo was apparently pleading with someone as if she'd done something that she'd regretted and was beseeching forgiveness, but I couldn't see who it was. There was so much drama painted on her face that the desire to find out why became a burning need.

If the guy in the dark suit would just move, I thought, trying to will him to obey my mental plea. It shocked me when he turned his head, as if he'd actually heard me. I squinted, not sure that my eyes were accurate at this distance. He showed more of his profile, and that's when I fully recognized him. I sucked in a deep breath, hoping my vision was betraying me; after all, I did have several glasses of champagne in me.

He glanced completely around, fortunately failing to connect with my gaze, which gave me a false sense of relief considering that I had no idea why he was here, nor did I want him to see me.

Lisa recaptured my hand, breaking my surveillance. "What are you looking at?"

I wanted her to wait so I wouldn't lose track of my targets, but she moved in closer.

I looked up into her eyes, which were showing her concern. "Mino is over there."

I felt her go rigid. "Where?"

"He's wearing a dark suit. Over there next to the woman in the light gray dress. See him?"

Lisa spotted him and then scowled, none too pleased that he was here. "The guy just won't go away," she growled, seething now.

"Jisoo is over there." Some of the crowd moved along and that's when I noticed who she'd been talking to, which confused me even more. "Is that?"

Lisa drew in a quick breath, exhaling out her name as if to purge her body of toxins. "Rosé."

Wonderful. The bitch from Florida, in the flesh. "Are they arguing?"

"Appears so."

Now I was even more curious, like watching one of those pathetic reality shows where the drama is over-the-top, but for some reason you just can't shut it off. "I didn't know they knew each other."

Lisa's hand tightened on mine, almost to the point of pain. "I didn't know, either."

It obviously bothered Lisa to see them all interacting, although judging by the way Mino glanced around, he seemed bored with the whole thing. I watched as Mino's gaze lingered on the very short dress and long, bare legs just a few feet away.

Rosé seemed to be making a point, trying to placate Jisoo now. Apparently the heated conversation had taken a new turn. Rosé pulled Jisoo in for a hug. I was shocked by their overt friendliness; Jisoo had her face pretty much buried in Rosé's neck, and then for a moment I swore they were about to kiss.

Lisa tugged my hand, irritated by it all. "Come."

I wanted to resist, reluctant to tear my eyes away from the girl drama, but her tone left no room for arguments.

By the time we reached the after-party at the Soho House in West Hollywood, I had met and mingled with more famous people than I ever thought imaginable. My mind and body were buzzing with the glitz and glamour that came along with Lisa's chosen profession, not to mention being blinded by hundreds of paparazzi flashes on our way in the door.

As we hurried away from the throng of photographers screaming, shouting, and chasing us, I wondered how Lisa managed to stay humble and grounded with all of this attention. Even I felt a tinge of supremacy from being with her, knowing that several of the people around us at this lavish party would kill to be in either of our positions.

Lisa had won three awards tonight for her role as Blake Conroy, and I was so damn proud of her it was hard to not be smug about it. Even when she and Mina won the award for Best Kiss, I felt extremely proud. I was glad she didn't kiss her onstage. She promised me she wouldn't, stating that I would be the only woman she kissed in public.

As I glanced around the packed affair, my eyes landed on the very lovely ass of Ian Somerhalder. Zac Efron was standing a few feet away, deep in conversation. To hell with the MTV swag gift bags; this was definitely more of a gift than anything. I was morphing into a freaking fangirl being so close to them. My fingers itched to take out my cell, capture a few photos, and send them on to Hyunji so we could squeal about them.

Screw it.

I tried to stifle my starstruck enthusiasm. Hyunji would die if she knew I could hit Ian with a spitball, he was that close. I snuck my cell phone out and took a discreet picture, needing to torment her.

"What are you doing?" Lisa asked. She seemed partially amused and slightly disappointed.

I created a new text message. "Tormenting Hyunji."

She gave me that "are you kidding?" glare, but I ignored her. It was Ian Smolderhalder for cripes sake and honestly, this close, he was even better-looking in person. Hyunji would be jumping over chairs if she were this close to him, asking the poor guy to sign his name on her body somewhere close to her boobs with indelible ink.

I heard Lisa scoff when she spied over my shoulder to see who I captured on my cell. "His ass? You took a close-up of his ass?"

I knew I should feel guilty but altruism warred with those feelings. "It's a gift for Hyunji. She's going to flip."

"I thought she only had eyes for my ass." The tiny pout on her face was pathetically endearing.

I was glad she was being playful about my paparazzi moment. "She's used the bathroom after you've been in it, Lisa. The mystery and allure are gone now. You've effectively killed it for her."

She rolled her eyes and then frowned at both me and Ian. "That guy takes a shit, too, you know."

I shook my head to disagree. "No, he doesn't. He's still in god status and we all know that gods don't poop."

"Oh, come on! For real?"

"Yes. You didn't poop, either—ever—until she discovered you were a mere mortal."

Her eyebrows almost hit her hairline. "So I was a pseudo-god?"

It was hard to text and debate at the same time. "Or a constipated, time-traveling demigod."

Lisa almost spit out her beer. "I can't believe you just said that about me. We're not even married yet and I've lost my god status."

I shrugged while my thumbs kept typing. "I was on to you the moment I saw blood on your face. I knew you could be wounded. Gods can't bleed. Everyone knows they are protected by mystical forces."

Her hand landed on my hip, pulling me into her groin. "But you've called me 'God' hundreds of times now. Have you been lying all this time?"

I met her darkened eyes, and was excited by her aggressiveness. "If I tell you the truth, there will be no living with you and your huge ego. You know I worship you, so that should count for something."

I watched as her devilish tongue slid out to wet her lips. I wanted those wet lips on me, wanted to taste the flavor of bliss on her tongue.

Lisa held out her cell, angling it. "You want a picture? I want a picture, too," she uttered close to my lips. "Look at the camera and smile, baby." After she captured our smiles, she captured my mouth.

And then someone bumped into me, on purpose.

"Hey! No making out." I looked over into the goofy, disapproving face of Lisa's Seaside co-star, Alice Jarrett, and took in her awesome black sequin dress and gorgeous eyes. Behind her, her handsome actor boyfriend, Ben Harrison, beamed, flashing those adorable dimples.

"She's taking pictures of Somerhalder's ass," Lisa said dryly, tipping back her glass of beer while she discreetly indented her partial erection into my hip.

Ali gapped at me. "Really?"

I sucked in a quick breath from feeling the unspoken need in Lisa's pants and the silent point she was trying to make. Ali was waiting for an answer, so no sense denying it. "It's for Hyunji. She'll get a kick out of it. I've got to get one of Zac Efron, too. She'll freak."

"Ooh, I know him. You want to meet him?" Ali asked, bouncing excitedly.

"No, she doesn't," Lisa answered for me.

Ali rolled her eyes and finished her drink. "Jealous much?"

Lisa scoffed, taking another sip. I patted her gloriously tight abs. "She knows I love her and only her."

Soon we were surrounded by most of the Seaside cast, all of us laughing, joking, and downing plenty of expensive alcohol. Even Mina was tolerable.

Ali set her glass down on the table. "I need to use a bathroom. Jennie, go with me?"

Lisa leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. "Don't get lost."

I took my hand off her thigh and followed Ali through the tightly packed crowd. Why is it that when you're slightly buzzed and wearing uncomfortable shoes, the ladies' room becomes a half-mile walk? Ali squeezed past some people, turning to grab my hand to pull me through. I couldn't help but giggle with her when we got to an open space.

She wrapped her arm around mine. "That was fun."

I was still laughing, having a blast when I sort of fumbled in my tracks, unsure if my eyes were deceiving me. Sure enough, two girls were making out hot and heavy in a darkened corner.

Holy hell. Welcome to Hollywood.

Should I be shocked or turned on by their blatant public display? The whole thing had me quite bemused until one of them broke away and made eye contact.

I staggered. Holy hell, that's . . .

Rosé Park.

Sucking face with Jisoo Kim.

Never in a million years . . .

The second Rosé saw me she pulled back from Jisoo, shoving her away, apparently flustered from being caught.

"What are you looking at?" Ali asked, yanking on my arm.

I nodded my chin and Ali guffawed loudly, apparently just as shocked as I was.

"Oh my God. I . . . Wait until I tell Lisa." I thought Ali was going to double over with laughter. "She's turning all her leading ladies into lesbians."

I gave her a stern look. "That's not funny."

"Oh yes it is! What are the odds?" She looked over her shoulder. "That means Mina is next."

We were outside the women's bathroom when my cell rang. It was Hyunji, probably calling to squeal in my ear over Ian Smolderhalder's exquisite derriere.

"I almost touched it!" I blurted excitedly, not even bothering to say hello.

I could tell by the first sound she made that she was upset. "Jennie, listen. Tammy just called. Fred was just rushed back to the hospital. I don't know what's going on but she said that he tried to walk and couldn't feel his leg so she called the ambulance. I guess he fell in their bedroom."

My slightly inebriated condition mixed with a power shot of worried adrenaline made me feel lightheaded. I covered my other ear with my hand, trying to hear her over the chatter and noise. By the time I hung up with her, I felt as if I'd been socked in the stomach. I left Ali behind in the bathroom and hurried back to the table to tell Lisa.

Lisa halted in mid-sentence when she saw me. "Jen?" One word that said, You only went to the bathroom. What the hell happened?

I glanced at the cell still in my hand while horrible visions of Fred not being able to walk down the aisle of his own wedding plagued my thoughts. "They just took Fred back to the hospital." I filled her in with what little I knew.

She took a deep breath then Ali suddenly bounced up behind her, all too excited to tell her what we witnessed on our way to the bathroom.

Lisa's mouth fell open. "You're shitting me."

Ali was having too much fun teasing her like this. "Full-on tongue action."

I actually saw her shudder. "You're positive it was Rosé and Jisoo Kim? Positive?"

Ali looked at me and we both nodded.

Lisa ran a hand through her hair, digesting this new information. "Wow. Good for them, I guess."

I tried to change the subject, talking about anything that didn't involve things that Lisa would stew over, but I could see that the news had affected her, slightly changing her mood. She was with Rosé for a while when they dated a few years ago; they'd been intimate for months. Lisa was not the type of person who could switch off her emotions.

Instead of letting it affect us, we mixed and mingled with so many celebrities that I was awestruck. It seemed that everyone asked the same sort of questions: What are you working on now? Did you hear about this person or that person? Most of the conversations ended with enthusiastic promises of keeping in touch and "hope to work with you sometime" comments. It was hard to discern between true intentions and crafted bullshit, but I'd like to think I guessed accurately.

Lisa had just made a private comment to me when I saw Mino storm through the crowd on a direct course for Rosé. Someone else had engaged Lisa in conversation and after being introduced, I kept part of my attention on watching Mino and Rosé. Mino was pissed. I could tell because I'd seen that face before. Rosé looked stubborn, planting a foot and crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.

Mino reached for her but she rolled her shoulder away from his grasp. He apparently wasn't going to take no for an answer, snatching her wrist and pulling her off balance so she had no choice but to follow him. He towed her along like an insolent puppy fighting the leash, and never looked back at her as she struggled.

As much as I was curious about their interactions, I was glad that he seemed to have found a new outlet for his misguided attentions.

--

Photographers surrounded us like hungry jackals as we hustled through LAX. My heart pounded in my chest from the chaos that ensued when we stepped into the terminal. Men were yelling, running sideways, aiming those nasty black cameras at us. So the famous Lisa Manoban was getting on another plane. Why is that even remotely newsworthy? Such nonsense. Lisa tugged her duffle bag up on her shoulder and grabbed my hand as Mike and three extra hired bodyguards moved us through the entrance. Two airport police officers flanked us, telling the paparazzi to mind the other passengers and to keep their distance.

We were ushered down a separate row to go through security and I nearly tripped over my own feet trying to walk as fast as possible. Lisa glanced back at me when I stumbled, then she stopped long enough to put my body in front of her.

"You okay?" she uttered quietly, walking her fingers over the small of my back as she nudged me along.

I nodded, slightly mortified by the prospect of having my little stumble be on the next episode of TMZ.

"This is fucking annoying," Lisa growled to me privately under her breath.

I tried not to spy over her shoulder but the paparazzi were still taking photos and filming us as we came to a halt in the security line.

Lisa tapped Mike's arm. "Why are we stopped?" We were standing in a special line but there were still like twenty people in front of us with a pack of rabid idiots forty feet behind us filming and photographing.

I heard a faint chime just as Lisa asked, "Is your cell ringing?" I thought I had turned it off, knowing it would have to be off for the flight. I didn't recognize the number and considered ignoring it until thoughts of Fred being in the hospital crossed my mind.

"Is this Jennie? Jennie Kim?" the unfamiliar male voice asked hesitantly.

As quickly as the notion came, I pictured some obscure religious-message, flower-sending weirdo named Jerry or Jeremy calling me. I had the sudden urge to just hang up. "Who is this?"

"It's ahh . . . Joe."

I gasped from the slight shock.

"Joe Malone," he continued, clearing his throat nervously. "Your um, father."