J

I paced nervously while Mike and Lisa analyzed the contents of the little envelope.

"I think Lisa's right," Mike announced. "I'm pretty sure this is cocaine."

I felt my throat tighten. That was in my backpack.

Mike pegged me with inquisitive eyes. "Where did you say you found this?"

I pointed at the manila envelope. "It was in there."

He picked it up, looking inside. "What else was in here?"

I shuffled through the papers, separating what I believed were the original contents.

To say Lisa was pissed was putting it mildly. "Where did that envelope even come from?"

"Remember the gorgeous redhead? The one with the painted-on skirt and legs that started here?" I pointed to my neck. "She gave it to me. She said it was for you."

Lisa suddenly slammed her fist into the dining table, stringing along a whole host of expletives.

"I think we should flush this down the toilet," Mike said, appearing less than happy with Lisa's outburst. "And then we are going to do a comprehensive check of all our luggage. Shirt pockets, pants, envelopes, everything gets checked. Hyunji, help Jennie. Go through everything and I mean everything."

Hyunji and I dumped out our suitcases.

"Make a fucking list of names," Lisa ordered. "There are only so many suspects here. When I find out who did this, I'm going to rip their throat out and bury them."

"We've all touched the envelope so prints are out. I don't think going to the authorities with it would be wise." Mike shook his head. "We can speculate all we want. Unless someone brags or confesses, I don't think we'll ever know."

Lisa stood, grabbed the little envelope thing with her fingers, and stormed off to the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush a few times.

The evidence was gone.

Lisa came back, staring at Mike as if he could magically come up with answers.

Mike was just as aggravated. "I don't know, man. Someone was trying to set you up. If one of us had been caught with that, we'd be looking at international jail time."

Lisa scoffed. "No shit."

Mike ran his hand over his head. "Well, the good news is you found it before we tried to leave the country. We came in on a commercial flight, so that means the drugs had to be purchased here. Unless we contact the authorities, we have no way of launching an investigation, and you just flushed the evidence."

"It was in my backpack," I uttered somberly, holding back tears while I searched Lisa's pockets for planted drugs. I turned her pocket inside out, feeling as if someone had just done the same thing to me. "I would have gone to jail." The thought cracked me. Tears blurred my vision while deep. burning sobs rolled up my throat. Visions of being handcuffed again, hauled away like some druggie to be locked away in some foreign women's prison for years—I couldn't deal with that.

I'd endured so much, knowing what it felt like to be placed under arrest, seeing Lisa being carted away from me in the back of a police car, the stress, the loss, the lies, the sacrifices.

It was finally too much. Too much.

Lisa fell to her knees next to me on the floor. "Hey, hey, baby. It will be okay. Shh."

I was shaking so hard, I couldn't breathe. How much more of this could I endure? "Cocaine, Lisa? I can't. I want to go home. Take me home."

Lisa wrapped me in her arms, pulling me between her thighs. "Shh. I'll take you home." She kissed my hair repeatedly, rocking me. "It's you and me, babe. You and me. Everything else is getting cut off. I promise. No more. I won't put you through this ever again." I heard her words but I couldn't believe them.

What was to stop another Rosé or Jisoo or even a disgruntled manager from repeating this nonsense?

Nothing.

When Lisa said we needed some air to clear our heads, she wasn't kidding. She warmed my body as she leaned into me to share the view out of my side of the helicopter after insisting that we follow through on our vacation instead of heading back to the States. She hadn't let go of my hand since we left the hotel in Rome. I think she was afraid I was going to end things with her.

This trip to Polignano a Mare was definitely a distraction.

Lisa was on edge, pacing around our room after we'd checked into the hotel. I opened the doors, finding some breathing space out on the balcony.

Lisa wrapped her arms around my stomach. "Nice view."

Staring out at the vast Mediterranean Sea, that was an understatement. "It's pretty spectacular. Thank you. It was a good idea to come here. Thank you for bringing me here."

She kissed my neck, lingering for a bit. "Don't leave me, Jennie."

I looked up into her eyes, shocked by her words, seeing the fear in her eyes. It gripped my heart.

"You've been so quiet. I'm scared to imagine what you're thinking."

"I'm not going anywhere, Lisa. I love you."

She sighed and met my lips for a kiss. "Thank God. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my heart, Jennie. My heart. I don't know who did this to us, but I swear I will find out. There will be retribution."

I shook my head. "Nothing good ever comes from revenge. And any attempt at retaliation will surely bring more problems. No, our best bet is to just let it drop."

She rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I can't."

"Oh sweetheart, you have to. News like this gets out and your picture will be splattered all over the press again. No. No more. We've been humiliated enough and I'm sure something will happen to put us back in the news regardless. You'll sneeze, I'll have a jealous fit when you have to kiss another actress—it's always something."

"No. Not this time. I'm done, Jennie. All I ever wanted to do was make movies but all that brings is fucking pain. No more. When we return to the States, I'm announcing my retirement."

I looked into her eyes again, not sure if she was actually serious. "Lisa, you love being an actor. It's what you do."

She kissed my lips, then rested her forehead against mine. "Not anymore."

Lisa wasn't kidding. After we'd returned to the States, she canceled all public appearances, turned down all requests for magazine cover shoots, interviews—everything. She was contractually bound to promote the final Seaside movie but that was it.

Trish and I had talked her out of making any formal public statements about being retired, arguing that it would only bring more attention. That was something Lisa definitely didn't want, especially since we had to settle out of court with the photographer she'd punched.

Instead, she devoted herself to building our house—to the point where we practically moved into my pappy's fishing cabin so we could closely monitor the progress on our adjoining land.

Hyunji had taken an assignment with Mike in L.A., working private security for a young actor who'd been plagued by an unwanted stalker. She was traveling so much, it was hard to keep up with her, and I missed my best friend. But I also knew she had a job to do; making chitchatty cell calls while protecting someone was frowned upon and could get you killed.

Lisa's entire celebrity life had ground down to a halt. After a few weeks of the media wondering where she'd disappeared to, other celebrities and their antics took over the front page and Lisa slipped off the radar.

Well, that was until she went grocery shopping with me and was recognized.

One evening, when I was finally able to talk about the white powder incident again, Lisa had built a nice fire in the fireplace and we curled up on the floor to make a list of suspects.

My money was on Jisoo Kim. Rosé had brought her on the European press junket and both of them were always sniffing.

Mino was also in Rome, but he wasn't on the top of my list. He'd pretty much ignored me while he hit on the leggy redhead who gave me the envelope and she seemed more than receptive to his charms. But he did have motive and opportunity.

Marla Sullivan was also a suspect to consider. But even though that nasally bitch would probably get her kicks seeing Lisa fall from grace, she didn't strike me as the type who'd solicit someone to get her cocaine.

And then there was David. Bitter, jaded, asshole David. Lisa had fired him officially in Rome, making sure the weasel knew in no uncertain terms that he'd been terminated. He'd flown off the handle when Lisa had called Aaron, her agent, to make sure the message was passed through the ranks. After that, David spent quite a bit of time scowling at us and bending Marla's ear, so imagining that those two got together and plotted against us wasn't too far-fetched.

There were quite a few others that had been on the press tour, but we'd quickly eliminated everyone who had no motive.

But we didn't make any progress, other than making a short list of people we wanted absolutely nothing to do with ever again. We also had the satisfaction of knowing that whoever did try to set us up had failed miserably.

Despite all the things keeping Lisa busy, I could tell she was unhappy. The sadness was always there, itching like a scab that just wouldn't heal. I was starting to feel guilty, as if she'd given up acting for me.

As much as I enjoyed being out of the spotlight, I knew in my heart that Lisa wouldn't be satisfied with life if she didn't act.

It was in her blood.

It was what she excelled at beyond all other things.

In front of the camera was where she belonged.

Lisa wasn't living; she was existing. She was doing everything possible to avoid admitting that she was miserable not working. She didn't need to say it; I could read her well enough to know exactly what plagued her.

We had set October 20 as our wedding date, taking Mike's advice and getting married in the Maldives.

I didn't care where we got married; as long as we had a beachside villa to snuggle in, I'd be content.

But as much as I wanted to marry Lisa, I couldn't. Not like this.

I needed her whole before she committed to me and she was anything but whole right now.

That light that used to dance in her eyes was gone.

Her spirit was broken and it tore me apart.

I had convinced Lisa to return to Seaport with me under the guise that I had business in the bar to attend to, but really I needed a strong Wi-Fi connection, which was nonexistent at the cabin. I knew exactly what I wanted to get Lisa for a wedding gift, but I needed time to execute my plan.

Since the pub wasn't so busy, Lisa and I decided to have lunch downstairs. We were dying to sample some of the new entrees Tammy was serving up. Even the apartment smelled deliciously edible.

"Did you call your lawyer back?" I asked, trying not to burn my lips on the piping-hot French onion soup I was drooling over.

Lisa nodded, chomping down on her chicken club panini.

"So you told him no prenup? Are you sure?"

Lisa looked me square in the eyes. "Positive. You need a prenup? I've got one better." She grabbed a Kim's Pub napkin from the holder and borrowed a pen from one of the new waitresses. I watched her carefully write on the napkin, doing her best not to tear it. "After all, this love affair of ours really began when you gave me your phone number. Remember?"

I was dying to know what she was writing. I drifted my foot over her under the table. "Of course I remember. I wrote it on a Kim's napkin."

"Which I still have, by the way." She smiled fondly. As soon as she was done writing, she placed the napkin across the table in front of me.

I smiled and laughed when I read, "I promise to never fight over the toaster." It meant a lot that she said that, knowing Hyunji and Gary had fought over such trivial things.

I motioned for the pen, grabbed another napkin, and wrote, "I promise never to steal your toaster or your TV."

She laughed and tapped on the napkin. "That better include the remote when I'm watching hockey, hon. Just saying. Give me the pen. It's my turn." While she was busy writing, I went behind the bar to grab my own pen.

I came back to "I promise to buy you your own TV so we never have to argue about what's on."

That made me laugh. "I draw the line at golf." I wrote on mine, "I promise to never take your money."

She stared at me for a few moments and frowned. "That's a given, Jen." The note she passed back stated, "I promise to never complain about you spending my money." And when it comes to stuff for the house, I'm drawing the line at curtain shopping. If you love me, you'll never ask me what I think about that sort of stuff."

"Okay, no curtain shopping. Got it." I put her message on our growing pile and wrote, "I promise to be a good wife."

Her smile was mesmerizing. I got back, "I promise to be a good wife too."

I gazed at the warm, brown eyes that meant everything to me. "We keep this up and we won't have to write wedding vows."

"Well if that's the case." Lisa quickly scribbled another one. "I promise to start every day and end every night telling you I love you."

I wanted to climb into her lap. I leaned over the table and kissed her. Trying to top that was difficult. I ended up writing, "I promise to love only you until I take my last dying breath."

"Till death do us part," she whispered. Her next message: "I promise to love you forever."

"Well then…" I slapped "I promise to always tend to your needs" in front of her.

She tapped on my napkin vow and grinned. "I'm going to hold you to this one. You know how needy I am."

Her next message said, "I promise to only have eyes for you."

That one struck me right in the heart. I scribbled on the bottom of it: "For as long as we both shall live?"

She gave me a warm smile, a wink, and a nod.

I quickly followed up with "I promise to give you a blow job on your birthday."

Lisa held the napkin up, looked like she'd won the lottery for a few seconds, and then asked. "Only on my birthday?" she sorted through the small pile and held up the one that said I'd always tend to her needs.

"I'm thinking I'm way more needy than that, babe. My needs are constant."

I quickly scribbled, "I promise no matter how needy you get, to never make you sleep on the couch."

Lisa held up a finger for me to wait while she wrote on her napkin, "Do you promise to talk to me when something is bothering you?"

I wrote on the bottom of it, "Yes, and you?" and passed it back to her.

Lisa wrote her "Yes" underneath mine and underlined it twice.

My next vow stated, "I promise to find a way every day to make you happy."

She sorted through the sheets and held up the one with the BJ on it. "Can we edit the BJ vow to daily/hourly? That would make me really happy and tend to my needs all in one shot."

She looked so damn hopeful. How could I ever deny her anything? I sifted through the vows, finding the one that said she'd love me forever. "Since you promised, I'll see what I can do."

She reached across the table, took my hand in her, and pulled it to her mouth, placing a tender kiss next to my engagement ring.