The next morning, Jack stood in front of the bathroom mirror, lathering his face with shaving cream. He was focused on the task at hand, the rhythmic scrape of the razor against his skin a comforting distraction. The bathroom was filled with the sound of running water as Sam prepared to take her shower.
As she stepped into the shower and the water began to cascade down around her, she called out casually, "Jack, are you feeling any better today?"
Jack paused for a moment, the razor still in his hand, and then replied tersely, "I told you, there's nothing wrong with me."
Sam sighed softly under the shower's spray, the frustration of the situation evident in her voice. She had been witnessing these nightmares for a while now, and each time she visited, it seemed to get worse. She knew they couldn't keep ignoring it.
Once they were both dressed and seated at the breakfast table, Sam decided to broach the subject again. She was only in Washington D.C. for the weekend, and she couldn't bear to see him suffer like this night after night.
"Jack," she began, her tone gentle but determined, "we can't keep pretending that nothing's wrong. Every night I've been here, you've had these nightmares. Just like when you visited me in Colorado last time."
Jack's jaw tightened, and his fork clinked against his plate as he stabbed at his breakfast pancake. He was irritated by her persistence. "Sam, I told you, it's nothing. Just bad dreams. They'll pass."
Sam leaned forward, her concern for him evident in her eyes.
"Jack, honey, they're more than just bad dreams. You're troubled by whatever you're reliving in those nightmares. You can't keep shouldering this alone. We're a team, even more since we married. Let me in, Jack. Tell me what's going on. Maybe talking about it will help."
For a moment, Jack's anger flared, and he slammed his fork down on the table.
"I said there's nothing to talk about, Sam! I don't need a therapist, and I don't need you prying into my head!"
The tension in the room was palpable as they locked eyes, both stubborn in their ways. Sam, was concerned for Jack's well-being, and Jack, fiercely guarding his inner demons.
At that moment, it was clear that this was a battle of wills, one born out of love and concern but tinged with frustration and fear. Jack's nightmares were a lingering shadow over their relationship, and it was up to them to decide how to face that darkness together.
"At what time is your flight?", he finally asked, changing the subject.
"In three hours", she said sadly that he wasn't willing to talk about such an important matter in their lives.
"I have a meeting I can't miss. I'll have my driver get you to the airport", he said, drinking the rest of his coffee and suddenly avoiding her eyes.
Sam bit her lip.
"So that's it? I'm going back to Colorado with you angry at me?", she asked with a hurtful tone.
Jack cleared his throat.
"I'm not angry with you", he said, picking up his briefcase.
Sam looked at him. His eyes were on the briefcase, not on her.
"No? So why aren't you even looking at me?", she asked in a low voice.
Jack lifted his eyes and finally looked at his wife. She looked hurt.
"I'm not angry, Sam. I just don't want to talk about things that aren't important", he said.
Sam sighed and looked at the ceiling.
"Right…Not important. Well, I guess I have to get along with that", she said. Picking also her duffel and getting up.
Jack looked at her confused.
"What are you doing?", he asked.
"I'm going to the airport. Your driver can drop me there after he leaves you at the Pentagon", she said, taking her aviator glasses from a side pocket and putting them on. Even if she was still inside the house.
"But it is still too soon… You can stay here and he will pick you up later", Jack offered.
Sam shook her head.
"No, there's no need. I'll leave with you now", she said determined.
Jack swallowed. He knew she was pissed. He could always tell when she was pissed.
"Sam, I told you I'm not mad. You don't have to leave so early", he tried again.
She looked at him through the dark lens of her sunglasses.
"Well, Jack, you may not be mad but I am. So before any of us say or do anything that we might regret, it's best that I'll leave for the airport now. We can talk again when I'm in Colorado", she said coldly.
Jack merely nodded and opened the front door, letting her pass. The drive to the Pentagon was made in silence. However, before he exited the car, he picked up her hand and kissed it.
"Have a nice flight. I love you, Sam", he said tenderly.
"I love you too, Jack", she said, squeezing his hand.
After leaving the car, he stood on the sidewalk watching the black car get into traffic and eventually disappear. He knew he had been an asshole but sometimes he simply couldn't help himself. The nightmares were simply a part of his life that he had never let anyone get in. Not even Sam.
As Sam made her way to the airport, the echoes of her conversation with Jack still resonated in her mind. She couldn't help but reflect on why her husband was so stubborn when it came to discussing his recurrent nightmares. She knew that during their time at the SGC, Jack had occasionally been forced to see the base psychiatrist after particularly harrowing missions. Those sessions had never gone well since the resident psychiatrist, Dr. James McKenzie told him he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sam knew that the Doctor wasn't probably far from the truth but his approach to Jack had been all wrong and that was enough for his distrust to linger for the rest of his days. She could understand Jack's aversion to psychiatrists and McKenzie in particular. She was no fan of shrinks herself.
But now, they were married. They were supposed to be able to talk freely with each other, to share their deepest fears and concerns. That's what she had expected when they made this commitment to each other. However, Jack had remained as closed off as he had been when they were working together, not in a romantic relationship. It was both a disappointment and a source of frustration for Sam. She had thought that their bond would have evolved and deepened after they became a couple, but it seemed that some barriers were still firmly in place.
As Sam waited for her commercial flight back to Colorado Springs, she settled into a seat at the gate and sighed, lost in her thoughts. The airport buzzed with activity around her, but she felt a sense of isolation as she pondered the emotional distance between her and Jack. It was a challenge she didn't know how to overcome.
The intercom crackled to life, announcing the boarding of her flight. Sam gathered her belongings and rose from her seat, realizing that she would have several hours in the air to contemplate her relationship with Jack and how to break through the walls he had built around his innermost feelings. It was a task she was determined to tackle because, above all, she wanted to be there for him, to help him confront the demons that haunted his nights.