Jack paced restlessly around his office at Homeworld Command, his frustration and self-loathing gnawing at him. The weight of his inability to open up to Sam about his nightmares pressed heavily on his shoulders. He knew he had let her down by not being more communicative, by not allowing her to fully be there for him as she so desperately wanted to be.
As he reflected on the day's events, guilt tugged at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had pushed her away, creating a rift between them that he didn't want. He wanted nothing more than to be open with her, to share his fears and vulnerabilities, but something held him back, an invisible barrier he couldn't breach.
It wasn't that Sam hadn't tried. She had made sincere efforts to break through his silence, and each time he shut her out, he could see the hurt in her eyes. He knew she resented his lack of communication, and he couldn't blame her. She was putting in the effort to make their marriage work, and he felt like he was failing her.
Jack couldn't deny that he needed to talk about his nightmares. They were a constant torment, a relentless specter from his past that refused to fade. He desperately wanted to confide in his wife, to let her in, but something within him held him back. Was it shame? Fear of reliving painful memories? He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the barrier remained insurmountable.
His thoughts drifted to the first time Sam had tried to wake him from a nightmare during an off-world mission while at SG-1, and the memory sent a shiver down his spine. He had lashed out in his sleep, inadvertently hurting her, and giving her a black eye. The memory haunted him to this day, serving as a stark reminder of the danger he posed when he was trapped in the grip of his nightmares.
His fear of hurting Sam was a powerful force that kept him from allowing anyone close during those vulnerable moments. He had hurt Sara after returning from Iraq, and he couldn't bear the thought of causing pain to someone he loved again. Even Daniel had fallen victim to his unconscious reflexes on Abydos when he had almost choked him in a moment of panic.
So, Jack had constructed a fortress around his nightmares, shutting people out to protect them, even if it meant being an asshole sometimes. He knew it was the safest course of action, but it also left him feeling isolated and tormented, trapped in a cycle of darkness that showed no signs of relenting.
As Sam entered their home in Colorado, a wave of memories and emotions washed over her. She had kept this house when she moved to Area 51, renting it out during her absence. It had been Jack's choice to sell his place when he thought she was still going to marry Pete Shanahan and never intended to return to Colorado Springs. But life had a way of surprising them both.
Her father's death had been a turning point, leading her to break up with Pete and request the transfer to Area 51, which had been approved. That had brought her, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c to Jack's cabin where their complicated dance around each other had become impossible to ignore. After two days of tension and unspoken feelings, Daniel and Teal'c had decided to leave the two alone to sort things out.
That night had been the turning point. Jack had proposed, and Sam had said yes. With the help of Uncle George, they had organized a beautiful wedding, and just three months later, they were married. Life in Nevada had been eventful but relatively short-lived because a recall to Cheyenne Mountain had pulled her back into the fold of SG-1 to fight the Ori.
Now, as she sat in the living room of their Colorado home, she couldn't help but reflect on the twists and turns of fate that had brought her here. It was no longer just her house; it was their house. The journey they had taken together, from the depths of uncertainty and unresolved feelings to the warmth of love and commitment, had transformed this place into a symbol of their shared life.
The walls held memories of laughter, tears, and moments of both vulnerability and strength. The familiar surroundings were a comforting reminder of the home they had built together. Sam closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling the weight of the past and the promise of the future, grateful for the path that had led her back to where she belonged, in the arms of the man she loved. Even if presently she was still pissed with such a man.
Her cell rang and she wasn't surprised to see Jack's ID.
"Hey", she said, her phone pressed to her ear, her heart heavy with the weight of the conversation she knew they needed to have.
"Hey. How was your flight?", he asked nervously.
She could sense the tension in his voice. One thing she could never accuse him of was not being aware of when he had screwed up. Jack knew exactly when he had messed up.
"Quiet. Almost empty", she said in a voice almost devoid of emotion. She could also be a bitch when she wanted.
Jack cleared his throat.
"Look Sam…", he started pacing in his office. "I'm sorry. You know I'm not good at this. But I didn't want you to leave mad at me", he said, passing a hand through his face. "I don't want you to be mad with me, honey. I'm sorry", he said again. "Please don't be mad at me", he asked.
Sam swallowed.
"We can't keep going like this, Jack. It isn't fair. This isn't the first time you've done this. You screw things up and then apologize over the phone when I'm miles away. It's emotional blackmail and I'm getting tired of it", she said with a trembling voice.
Jack sighed, closing his eyes. She was right. He was too chicken to face the problem when they were together.
"I know", he admitted. His voice was tired and filled with regret.
"But you continue to do it nevertheless", Sam said, looking at her wedding ring.
"Yeah…", he let out.
Sam took a deep breath, gathering her resolve.
"Jack, I appreciate the apology, but it's not enough. I need you to understand that I love you, and I want to help you through this, but I can't do it if you won't let me in. I can't keep coming to Washington only to watch you suffer in silence."
She continued her voice firm, "So here's what I'm saying: until you're ready to talk to me face to face about your nightmares and seek help, whether it's counseling, support groups, or professional treatment, we won't be seeing each other in person. We can talk over the phone, but I won't visit you in Washington anymore."
There was a heavy silence on the line, and Sam could hear Jack's breathing. She knew she was giving him an ultimatum, but it was out of love and concern, not blackmail.
Jack's response, however, was not what she had expected. His voice, usually so controlled, cracked with anger.
"You can't just give me an ultimatum like that, Sam! I won't be blackmailed into sharing something I'm not ready to talk about."
Before Sam could respond, he abruptly hung up, leaving her stunned and hurt. She slowly lowered her phone, tears welling up in her eyes. She had feared this outcome, but she had hoped Jack would understand the depth of her concern and love for him.
As the weight of what had just transpired settled in, Sam couldn't help but cry. She felt like a failure as a wife, worried that her marriage might not survive this crisis. But deep down, she knew she had taken a stand out of love, and she hoped that Jack would eventually come to realize that, too. The uncertainty of their future hung heavily in the air, and Sam was left with a mix of emotions, including fear, regret, and an unyielding hope that they would find a way to navigate this difficult path together.
Jack sat at his desk in his office at the Pentagon, a whirlwind of emotions raging inside him. Sam's words had cut through his defenses, and he was left feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. Fury and fear battled for dominance within him.
Her ultimatum had hit him like a ton of bricks. She wouldn't come back to see him? The thought was almost unthinkable, and yet it was precisely what she had said. It was as if she had drawn a line in the sand, forcing him to confront the very demons he had been trying to keep at bay.
The anger that coursed through him was intense, a burning fire that threatened to consume him. He clenched his fists, the urge to lash out and destroy something almost overwhelming. But Jack O'Neill wasn't just anyone. He was a Major General, the Head of Homeworld Command, and a leader in the military. He had years of training in maintaining composure under pressure, and he couldn't afford to lose control like this.
He abruptly gathered his belongings, leaving his bewildered secretary in the lurch as he informed her of an emergency and left for the day, something he had never done before. He needed to get away, to escape the confines of his office, where the walls seemed to be closing in on him.
As he hailed a taxi and gave the driver directions to Arlington Cemetery, Jack's mind continued to churn. He had been to the cemetery many times before, seeking solace among the rows of gravestones. It was a place where he could think, a place of quiet reflection.
But today, even Arlington Cemetery couldn't provide the solace he sought. Sam's words echoed in his head, tormenting him. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of his own emotions, and he needed space to process everything.
Jack's inner turmoil was a storm of conflicting feelings – anger at himself for not being able to open up, fear of what might happen if he did, and a profound sense of loss at the idea of Sam not being in his life. He knew that he couldn't keep running from his past, from the nightmares that haunted him, but the thought of confronting them was terrifying.
As the taxi pulled up at Arlington Cemetery, Jack stepped out and walked among the graves, his mind in turmoil, searching for answers and struggling to come to terms with the ultimatum Sam had issued. The future of their relationship hung in the balance, and he had a lot of soul-searching to do.