A/N: Welcome to the finale of And Now For Something Completely Different. Chuck learns a lot in this chapter. It's short, but packed. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"Why are you doing that to yourself?" Chuck asked. He was lying on the couch, his head in her lap, her left hand playing with his curls. Her right slowly scrolled through his laptop, looking through Graham's files.

"I need to know who they are," she said softly. He started to look up at her, and she gently thwacked his head. "Don't move, these are my comfort curls."

"I live but to serve," he replied, making her giggle. "I get that you need to know who they are, but it has to hurt."

"It does, but then I play with your curls, and I find myself thinking how lucky I am. Which also leads me to think about how they never got to find love," Sarah said. She looked up. "Welp, I just went all the way down that dark hole." She looked over at Chuck. "I could use one of your ridiculous facts that make me smile."

"What do you mean ridiculous fact?" Chuck asked. "I know some facts, some useless facts even, but ridiculous? Woman, you wound me."

"Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?" Sarah asked.

"Always," Chuck replied. Sarah went back to the laptop. "Did you know in 1957, tired of zookeepers trying to get her to mate, Penelope escaped the platypusary, and was never seen again."

"I'm sorry, what?" Sarah asked, laughing.

"Seems she wanted nothing to do with Cecil, according to the New York Times," Chuck explained.

"So what, Cecil dropped by, said Hey, gurrrl… Wanna mate? and she's like Fuck this, I'm out?" Sarah asked. Chuck shrugged his shoulders. "Men," she said, grinning as she played with his hair.

"He should have come with food," Chuck said.

"See, that's the way to go," Sarah agreed. "And is the name of the habitat really a Platypusary?"

"It was coined by an Australian," Chuck explained.

"Well, that explains everything," Sarah said. "So, if you were a platypus, coming to mate with me, what food would you bring me?"

"Insect larvae," Chuck told her. Sarah sat there, blinking her eyes.

"Maybe he did come with food, and that's why she left," Sarah said. Chuck burst out laughing. "How do you feel about tomorrow everyone meeting here, and let's talk about everything we know, and what you and I don't know?"

"There are so many things I don't know," Chuck admitted. "Like if you were a platypus, and I brought you insect larvae, would you leave?"

"Probably not," Sarah admitted. "But it would be because of you, and you only. Is there anything else they like?"

"Shrimp, waterbugs, tadpoles, and worms," Chuck told her.

"I would starve to death as a platypus," Sarah said, dramatically.

"I mean, as a platypus, you would like those things," Chuck countered.

"Would I?"

}o{

The next morning, Chuck was quiet. She had gone through all the files and had found nothing at all about Chuck. The files were simply about Graham's Valkyrie Army. She didn't know what was going on in his head, but she knew him well enough to know what had to happen. She had to distract him, and then – maybe – she could get him to talk.

"Chuck, can I ask you a question?" Sarah asked. He looked up at her. "You know those monkish, robe wearing people in Star Wars?"

"The Jedi?" Chuck asked. Sarah shook her head, confusing him. "The sith?" She shook her head again. "I am totally confused."

"You know, the ones that speak weird… wait, that's all of them," she said. She tapped her finger on her lip, thinking.

"Well… you're not wrong," Chuck muttered. "All of the alien races do speak weird in the movies and shows."

"You know, the ones that turned the football player into the bigger robot," Sarah continued.

Chuck mouthed the words she said, confused as could be. "Gronk?" Chuck asked. She nodded. "Sarah, the robot in Star Wars is Gonk."

"Same thing," Sarah said, continuing. She refused to look at him, knowing it would result in her bursting out laughing if she did. "Why did they change him so and make him just go around yelling "Eradicate! Eradicate!"

Chuck stared at her, unable to form words. He stood there for nearly a minute. "Okay, let me see if I have this right," he began in a strained voice.

"I mean, I would hope so, you watch the shows," Sarah said to him.

"You are asking me why the Jawas," Chuck began.

"Are they the ones that roam around the desert in the metal, upside-down, trapezoid looking thing?" Sarah asked.

Chuck thought for a second. "It's not exactly a trapezoid," he began, but stopped when he saw the look she was giving him. "Yes, that's exactly what it is." Sarah nodded. "You're asking why the Jawas took Gonk, and made him into… a…" He stopped, not believing the words that were about to come out of his mouth. "A Dalek?"

"That's the robot with the plunger and weird eye thingy, right? It always yells, 'Eradicate! Eradicate!'"

"You mean, Exterminate?" Chuck offered.

She waved a hand. "Same thing." He said nothing. "But, yeah, that's my question."

"Sarah." He paused. His brain was hurting. "Sarah, you are talking about Jawas and Gonk from Star Wars, and the Dalek from Doctor Who. They are different things."

"Pbbth," she said. "Are they? Are they really?" Chuck stood there, his mouth open, and she burst out laughing unable to hold it in any longer.

"Why?" Chuck asked, feeling relief that she wasn't really that confused about these things… at least that was what he was going to go with.

"Because, Baby," she said gently, "I know you. You're in your head. You're thinking about what all you saw, and didn't see."

"You're right," Chuck admitted.

"I found nothing about you in there. It was just us, the army," Sarah told him. "But we do need to talk before everyone gets here."

"Okay," Chuck said.

"There is something going on here," Sarah began. "Something deep, and evil." She paused. "I need you to be careful, because if I lose you…" She trailed off, looking away.

"Hey," he said softly. She looked at him, her eyes shiny as she fought off tears. "I love you."

"I love you," she told him.

"Okay, wait right there for one second, okay?" She nodded, and he left the room. When he came back, he had a small box in his hand. She was sitting on the couch, and he sank to one knee.

"Oh my God," she muttered. His eyes went wide, and he sprung up.

"I'm so sorry," he blurted out. "You were looking all upset, and I wanted to give you something I had been meaning to, but not… That. But I wanted to look you in the eye, and you were on the couch, and… I'm sorry."

"Is this where I shouldn't have said I would have said yes?" Sarah asked. Chuck's mouth dropped. "Now we're even."

"Are we, though?" Chuck asked, making her laugh. He thrust the box at her.

"What, you're just gonna give it to me like that?" Sarah asked.

"That what's she said," Chuck muttered. Sarah gasped, laughing. She took the box and opened it. Gasping again, for real this time, she looked up at him. "It was my mother's."

"It's beautiful," Sarah said, lifting the charm bracelet out of the box. There was a knock on the door. "They would show up now," she muttered.

"Did you have plans?" Chuck asked. Sarah grinned at him and bounced her eyebrows.

}o{

Chuck sat there, quiet, Sarah holding his hand. He was looking down at the charm bracelet on her wrist. "So… she's dead?"

When the group had entered Chuck and Sarah's home, there was a somber feeling. Dan asked that he be allowed to speak, and to tell the story that Chuck deserved to know.

"As far as we know," Roan told Chuck. "They have never found the body but… Volkoff is sadistic." Chuck nodded. "And as for Stephen…"

"Is he in pain?" Chuck asked.

"I do not know, Charles," Roan admitted. "They did something to him… tested something on him. He did it to save your mother, but…" Dan trailed off, shaking his head. "They told him she was already dead."

"How do you know all of this?" Chuck asked. Sarah was watching Chuck, concerned.

"They recorded it," Dan said softly. "And I want to be very clear: no matter who you ask, or what you do to try and find out, you will not be allowed to watch that video."

Chuck nodded. "Dan," Sarah began, "was Graham behind this?"

"No," Dan replied, shaking his head. "Was he Director when Mary went to try and stop Volkoff? Yes. Was he Director when Stephen went to Russia to try and save Mary? Yes. But did he have anything to do with what happened to Charles's parents… there has been no evidence of that. Langston Graham is a bastard and a son-of-a-bitch, but, in this case, I do believe he is innocent." He paused for a second. "In this case," he emphasized.

"I feel there's more," Chuck said, looking at the four. Dan nodded. "Go ahead, tell me all of it."

"Roark works with Volkoff," Zondra said softly. "Teddy wanted a report on you and how dangerous you are." She saw Sarah stiffen. "I gave him the report, but Sarah, you know men like this. They think Chuck isn't dangerous, even if you spell it out for them."

Sarah looked at Chuck, smiling, and turned back to Zondra, with a nod. "I understand."

"I'm glad you do," Chuck said. Zondra began to speak. "Hey, it's fine. I don't get it, don't know that I ever will, but Sarah gets it. And if she says everything's okay, then everything is okay."

"I don't know if everything is," Sarah said, "because you are now on his radar."

"There's more," Zondra said.

"Because of course there is," Chuck replied. "It's how these things work."

"Jill Roberts is working for him," Zondra told Chuck.

"The case I brought you, Jill was behind creating the drug," Casey explained.

"Jill Roberts?" Chuck asked.

"Yes," Zondra replied. "She is working on making an ethnic bioweapon. Basically, it targets individuals or groups by DNA strands."

"Jill Roberts?" Chuck asked again.

"Yes," Zondra said. She looked at Dan, who shook his head at her.

"Charles, are you okay?"

"How the hell is everyone I know somehow wrapped up in this mess?" Chuck asked. "Next you're going to tell me Awesome is a Russian spy sent to seduce Ellie and infiltrate our family." Chuck's eyes went wide. "Wait, that's not true, is it? I love Awesome. Please don't tell me he's a spy."

"No," Dan said, shaking his head. "After the events at Stanford, I did a deep dive into everyone else in your life. Devon is not a spy." Chuck let out a sigh of relief. "And honestly, after that deep dive, I understand why you call him Awesome."

"He gets it," Chuck said to Sarah, making her giggle.

"I also did a deep dive into… Morgan." Chuck froze. "He is not a spy, but there are some things…"

"We don't like to talk about that," Chuck said. Dan nodded. "So what does all this mean?"

"It means we would like you to stay out of any cases having to do with Volkoff, or Roark, or anything that could tie to this mess," Zondra said.

Sarah snorted. "Good luck," she muttered.

"And that brings me to my point," Zondra told them. "There is no way I can get you to do that. I've been watching you, observing you… you are that guy."

"What guy?" Chuck asked.

"That guy," Sarah told him.

"Yeah he is," Carina agreed, blowing out a rough breath. "He just can't leave shit alone."

"Moron is like a dog with a bone," Casey added.

"Are these compliments, or not?" Chuck asked. "I am quite confused."

"The highest compliment, Chuckles," Carina told him. "I know lately we've all been on you about being careful, but… be careful."

"Don't do anything stupid, moron," Casey grunted. "Or anything more stupid than usual."

"The love," Chuck said to Sarah.

"Yeah, it is love," Sarah told him.

"That was uncalled for," Casey muttered.

}o{

After everyone left, Sarah made a call, and drove Chuck out to the beach. Within a few minutes they were joined by Ellie and Devon. Sarah told Ellie and Devon everything they knew.

"And that's it?" Ellie asked. Sarah looked confused. "My mother is dead, and we can't have a funeral or a gravestone, or anything?"

"If we did, it would put us in danger, Ellie," Chuck said gently. "They would know we know, and if they knew we knew… help me out here, Sarah, I've confused myself."

"These people can have no idea that you know what happened to your parents, Ellie," Sarah said.

"If they did, we'd have a target on our back?" Ellie asked. Sarah nodded. Ellie blew out a rough breath. "And I can't see my father?"

"No," Sarah said gently.

"He wouldn't even know we're there," Chuck said gently.

"Chuck, I'm a damn neurosurgeon. You don't think I know that?" she snapped. "Oh, God," she said quickly. "I am so sorry." She didn't get any further because Chuck was hugging her. "This is fucked, Chuck. This is so fucked up."

"It is, El, it is," he agreed, pulling away. "I get it, you'd know you were there if you went to see him." Ellie nodded, wiping away a tear. "We can't though."

"I know," Ellie said. She composed herself, and then faced Chuck and Sarah. "So, what are you two going to do?"

"Why would you think we're going to do anything?" Chuck asked. "I mean-"

"We're gonna get them, Ellie," Sarah cut in. Chuck turned to her. "We are going to do this slowly, quietly, but we are going to catch them, and bring them to justice."

"Sarah," Chuck began.

"Chuck, don't," Sarah told him. "We both know that you want to go after them. We both know at some point it will bother you so bad that you will. I'm not stupid. I know who I love, and while you don't believe in vengeance, you do believe in getting justice for people." Sarah looked over at Ellie. "Don't tell me that all you've done for others, you won't do for your sister."

"She's right, little brother," Ellie agreed.

"It would put… us… you, in danger," Chuck told her.

"I've been in danger before, Chuck," Sarah told him.

"But not because of me," Chuck said softly. Sarah and Ellie shared a look. Ellie gave him the smallest of head nods.

"You know, a few years ago, I met a man who helped guide me through living a regular life," Sarah began. Chuck looked over at her. "He has been my everything. And if you think I'm not going to do everything in my power to bring to justice the people who killed his mother, and hurt his father… then he doesn't know me."

"Okay, serious question," Chuck said. Sarah braced herself and nodded. "Should we warn him you're coming to blow up his world?"

"Nope," Sarah said with a grin. "We just blow it the fuck up."

"I think I like your plan," Ellie said, grinning.

"Awesome," Devon added.

"I'm so glad you're not a Russian spy," Chuck told Devon.

"Me too," Devon replied, confused, making everyone laugh.

}o{

Chuck was lying in bed as Sarah was coming out of the bathroom. "So, Roark thinks it's a good idea for Zondra to be close to us?"

"Yeah, apparently your father has him spooked from what he did to him, so while you aren't a threat," Sarah said, rubbing lotion on her arms as she walked to the bed, "he wants her to keep an eye on you," she told him, using air quotes. She pulled back the covers, slid into bed, and laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling against him. "It works out just fine for us."

"It does," Chuck agreed. "Listen, the past few cases have been a little… much," Chuck began.

"I think we need something easy," Sarah told him. "Something… simple, and fun."

"Any ideas?" Chuck asked.

"We could always repossess something," Sarah said with a shrug. Chuck gave her a look. "What?"

"What, exactly?" Chuck asked. "Because you have a look on your face that says there's something you want to do."

"Well," Sarah said, grinning. "I saw that there was a plane that needs to be repossessed."

"We'll have to find a pilot," Chuck began. Sarah grinned against his chest, and he felt it. "Sarah."

"I think you know where a pilot is."

"Is she in this bed?" Chuck asked.

"She is," Sarah admitted.

"Is this your way of flying a plane and not having to rent one?" Chuck asked. Sarah laughed against him. "Okay, let's do it. Sounds easy-peasey. I mean, what could go wrong?"

She closed her eyes, feeling content, and then those words he just said, played through her mind. Her eyes popped open, and she looked up at him, but she heard him breathing, asleep.

What, indeed, could go wrong?

A/N: Damn it Chuck….

What? You wanna see what goes wrong? Okay….

"Chuck!" she yelled out, having heard the car pull away. "CHUCK!"

"I'm here," he said. "I'd come to you, but I kinda can't."

Fear gripped Sarah as she headed toward his voice. "Chuck, what's wrong?"

"Don't get mad," he began.

"Are you shot?" There was silence. "I'm not gonna yell at you."

"You promise?" He had to be around the big tree. She rounded it and she saw him lying there, his hand covering the right side of abdomen. "Please don't yell."

"I'm not gonna yell," she told him. "Come on."

"No, leave me, you need to catch them," Chuck told her.

"Chuck, you're bleeding," Sarah began.

"Sarah, I know I'm not gonna die," Chuck told her. "You'd beat me up if I did." She couldn't stop the laugh. "Also, you'd fight death if he…she….what is death's pronoun?"

"Don't know, but we're getting you in the car and too the hospital," Sarah told him.

"I may need some help," he admitted. "This really hurts."

"You're not yelling as loud as I thought you'd be." He gave her a flat look. "I'm trying to lighten the situation!"

Oh…..well….uh…Come on back next time for the episode I call Non Bis In Idem….what? You don't know Latin? Take care fam.