A/N: Runt of the Litter isn't ready yet -needs a few more hours- and this crappy internet/flu is going to be the death of me.
So here, have a teaser of what may-or-may-not to come in future chapters before I LOSE MY MIND.
May this teaser for Runt of the Litter whet your appetite.
In other news depression's starting to hit even harder these damn days. Like a sledgehammer paired with concrete. Sometimes I wonder why I do anything at all. I can't claim to understand what's going wrong with my head anymore. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way! One moment I'm fine, then my mood craters for a few hours, then I'm back again for a bit, and the cycle repeats. On and on, round the bend, forever and without end! Its rather annoying; as though I've become a prisoner in my own mind sometimes. Sure, what's one more mental problem on the pile. Not like I don't have enough, what with already being this old. Feels like every day is a battle sometimes. Meanwhile, my doctor insists that I'm fine. Take a health walk he says. Go fishing. You'll be fine.
*siiiigh*
Right. Suuuure.
Don't bloody feel fine, doc. I'm seeing a therapist now.
As ever, I own no quotes, references, quotes, themes or memes! They're simply tributes to legends far greater than I.
I'm just an old man who writes as a pastime. I don't make any money doing this, not a single cent.
I've kept you waiting long enough, ya know.
Off to therapy I go!
"That is a horrible pun!"
Really? I happen to think its an AXEllent one!
"STOOOOOP!"
~?
Axe You a Question
Long had she traveled to reach this place.
The journey had been hard, the road long, but here at last, she'd reached her destination.
She would make Father proud. So she swore. She would not fall for the monarch's lies, no matter what he said.
Stalking into the courtyard, she marched up to the first door she cold find -a great massive red thing that made her feel small indeed- and raised her weapons. No one tried to stop her. A few knights looked her way with a bemused sigh, but not a one made an effort to stop her. So focused was she on her great task that she failed to hear their whispers...at first. She soon wished she hadn't.
"Another barbarian?"
"Wonder if he'll marry this one."
"Eh, Lady Maria might not like that...
"Why not? He married that crossbreed, didn't he? What was her name again? Precious?"
"Priscilla." A snap of the fingers. "That's the one!"
"I'm just saying, if he married a dragon girl, then why wouldn't he bonk a barbarian-
Nepheli glared bloody red daggers at the unlikely. "Do you mind?! I am literally RIGHT HERE!"
The shorter of the pair offered a jovial wave her way. "Nice to meet you, miss right here! Do you have a name?"
Tch. The gall of it all. They were toying with her. Mocking her, as though she were naught but a child. With an indignant huff, she stalked past and made for the red door.
Their banter should've been her first warning. Alas, she was young and foolish, and so did not heed it.
"I am Nepheli Loux!" she brandished her twin storm axes and rapped on the monarch's door. "In the name of my father, Sir Gideon Ofnir, I have come for your Great Rune! Show yourself, Godrick!"
When no response came, she beat the door down, smashing it apart with her axes.
"ANSWER ME!"
Remarkably, someone did just that.
The splintered frame swung back, forcing her to retreat as a towering figure emerged.
...I like that door, you know." his low, rumbling voice stilled her. "You could have knocked like a normal person."
Nepheli stumbled back, eyes wide. Oh, dear. He was bigger than she'd thought he would be. Wasn't he supposed to be the Runt of the Litter? And that...was a very large ax he had slung over his shoulder. Larger than her, in fact. She wasn't short at all, but when faced with this brute, she felt positively petite. The Lord of Stormveil dwarfed her in every way. His pale hair shone in the sun, whiskered cheeks dimpling in a wry smile as he looked down upon her -quite literally- and tilted his head.
His shadow fell over her. "Lemme axe you a question."
Her brow furrowed, first in confusion, then utter disbelief. "Was that a pun?"
"I deal with Tarnished like you every day. Wanted to mix things up a little, ya know?"
Nepheli flung up her arms. "Its still a horrible pun!"
"Really?" the grinning god tilted his head. "I happen to think its an AXEllent one!"
...was this a fever dream? Had she eaten some bad mushrooms? "Just stop, please, I beg of you."
Godrick rumbled a laugh. "I suppose I can't AXE you for a favor, then?"
"STOOOOOP!"
...very well." His smile vanished and she sorely wished it hadn't; because it made the Storm Lord look well and truly terrifying. "We'll skip the pre-fight banter, then." Godrick hefted his axe, letting the gilded instrument of death scrape across the cobblestones. "Lets see how good you are with those axes of yours. DODGE!"
Nepheli felt her eyes bulged. A traitorous little squeak fled from her lips. "Meep!"
She tried, she really did, even managed to duck the first swipe at her. He caught her on the backswing and sent her sprawling to the ground. She righted herself quickly, for all the good it did her. His shadow fell upon her yet again, faster than ever before, and she realized too late just how grave an error she'd made.
"You weren't ready! Dodge better this time!
Nepheli thought no more of "Godrick" and his silly puns after that.
She was too busy trying to survive the hurricane of death that descended upon her.
A/N: And scene.
Hope this little tidbit of a teaser made you smile!
As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, as such, I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.
Aaaand there we go. As ever, reviews keep me alive. Without them, I cannot write.
So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review...Would You Kindly?
No previews here. I can barely think straight. Sorry.
R&R~!