Chapter 3

Four long years later...year 50,179 PSW (Post Sealing War)...in many ways I was thriving. Link and I were best friends, I was a "respected" lieutenant in Little Lorule, I was going on many exciting missions to protect the town from both monsters and those overcome by The Voice...and yet? I felt like a nowt...those lingering feelings, that realization I was not fulfilling my "destiny", clung to my mind like lice would in my long red hair. They were not enough to prompt me to fulfill my "purpose" the way Devyn had wanted me to...but daily those feelings sapped my mood, and I was struggling to devise a better way to help Hyrule. To add to my problems...I may have been "respected", but aside from Linky I had no friends and no family (at least, not any that I knew were alive).

One day, in the midst of fall (and on my twenty second birthday no less), I had a damn eventful day protecting Little Lorule's southern flank from monsters. My post was attacked by twenty bokoblins (pig like imps, quite weak and dumb) and several moblins (much taller and stronger pig like creatures, but still pitifully dumb), mostly red but with some stronger "blue" (more like purple for moblins) cretins mixed in. I was guarding the south with about eleven newbies, most of whom cowardly fled when the monsters approached...leaving me to fight the fiends with only three of those inexperienced little boys for backup.

"Show me whatcha got, ya knobs!" I yelled to the monsters as I ran to the battle line, firing arrows aplenty and offing ten bokoblins and a moblin before they could even get close. I then engaged a blue moblin in sword to club combat...it was like a dance of death, me constantly swinging around to avoid being struck by arrows being shot by some of the remaining bokoblins (some of which hit my moblin instead). Eventually I disarmed the moblin and stabbed it through the stomach, causing it to crumple to the ground and die...at that point the remaining monsters booked it. As they fled I shot an arrow almost straight up into the sky...about fifteen seconds later it struck a bokoblin in the head, killing it. The four of us got a good laugh out of that.

We soon set about harvesting the horns, fangs, and guts from the monsters (all of which go for good money on Hyrule's market), burning the rest of the dead bodies, and checking for injuries (of which there were none, thank the Goddesses...). After we returned to camp at the start of the night shift I gave the other eight melts a stern talking to, shaking one by the collar as I did.

"YOUUUUUUU COWARDS! You could have gotten us killed! You could have gotten the entire town killed! No rations tonight!" The little boys fled to their tents to avoid a beat down...I did not bother praising their more courageous pals and simply went in to Peggle's tent to report on today's events before I got dinner. Normally this would also be when I would catch up with Linky...except he was nowhere to be found. I waited outside Peggle's tent half an hour, missing dinner in the process, before I voiced my concerns to the commander.

"Commander, where in Hyrule is Link?!"

"I'm wonderin' the same question, dearie! I had sent him on a scoutin' mission and told him to be back by them there sunset...he's not back yet. Gettin' very worried about 'im." So was I, by that point...

"Do you know where he bloody went?! I can go search for him right now! I NEED to find him NOW!"

"Last I heard he was spotted taking that there path south to the Gerudo Desert. Let me give ya some food and arrows before ya leave..." Peggle supplied me with several day's worth of hylian herbs (a green leafy vegetable) and about a hundred arrows, at which point I stormed to the south without thanking him. I walked a couple hours down the trail before setting up camp next to one of the obese looking baobab trees common to the rocky, desolate, dry wastelands. My mind was racing...

Did monsters grab him and eat him for dinner?! Did that damn Voice drive him to madness?! Did he finally get sick of me and run away from Little Lorule?! Did he find some pretty gerudo girl and decide, "Hey, who cares about my little sister Petra!"?! Am I finally, truly, utterly alone?!

Oh...I haven't written down what the hell "The Voice" is. Ahem..."The Voice" is a series of bloody terrifying feminine utterances that are heard in the minds of hylians and ONLY hylians, we humans who possess pointed ears for hearing the voices of the gods (well, and maybe the ninja like Sheikah too...but I haven't met many sheikah, so I don't know whether most of them hear it). It sounds like the gentle musings of a goddess, but should you listen to it The Voice destroys your mind until you become a mindless, grey skinned, red eyed zombie obeying its now murderous orders; if you don't listen to it it will begin screaming and broadcasting terrifying nightmares in your head. I have lost many nights of sleep from The Voice since settling in Little Lorule...but my volition is worth that price.

Fortunately for me I was able to get a good night's sleep without The Voice harassing me much overnight, and I awoke early next morning to continue my urgent mission towards the Gerudo Desert. As I walked on the air became hotter, vegetation became more scarce, and I passed under many archways, both natural and artificial, carved into the surrounding rock...the artificial ones looked to be in ill repair; not a big surprise. The Voice has made hylians bloody xenophobic towards those that are not hylians or even towards hylians not consumed by The Voice, and the maddened Hyrule has stripped as much land as it can away from the non hylians that share this continent, including the Gerudo that dwell in their namesake desert. It is now very dangerous for them to repair those arches...even I was attacked by several Voice maddened pedestrians on the way to the desert, all of whom I knocked out by bashing them in the head with my shield.

After about six hours of travel I reached the Gateway to the Gerudo Desert. To my right I could see what looked like the ruins of a stable...just some of the wooden frame remained now, with the cloth, the reception desk, and the horse god figure that tops an intact stable having long since burned. Before I could enter the desert proper, though...

"ZZZTTT!"

I was struck by a damn bolt of lightning and flung back, landing on my arse. When I hurried to my feet I discovered a hylian bird, maybe in her 30's, between me and the gateway, with a pointed bright yellow hat, short yellow dress, and yellow heels, as well as LONG pale blonde hair and blue tights.

"Who the hell are you, and what was that for?!" I blurted out. She laughed.

"Me?! Your future colleague, dearie! I am Crackle the Thunder Acolyte! I help lead the Plague Witches, and we have identified you as our next pupil!"

Oh crud...not THEM...

"I have no bloody time for this! I'm not about to join your damned cult!"

"Well well well, dearie...guess I'll have to MAKE you join! Tee hee hee!" She rushed me like a blur and I barely caught her with my knight's broadsword, skirmishing with her briefly before I scored a few hits and forced her back. She then disappeared...I thought I had won, but that premature dream was shattered by her laughing loudly behind me (she teleported...); I then had to quickly leap out of the way of a much stronger bolt of lightning. She then fired some ball lightning at me...I had no way of swatting it back at her, so I just avoided it and kept avoiding her lightning for a while until the wanker got visibly impatient.

"STANDDDDD STILLLLLL, DEARIE!" she snarled before she rushed me with her sword again; I caught her blade, we dueled about a minute, I disarmed her with a swift kick, she was struck with my sword many times...she LOOKED too knackered to use magic again. When I turned my back to leave, though...

"ZZZTTT!"

She struck me with lightning again, this time a sustained, excruciatingly painful burst as she laughed hysterically. I thought I was going to die...

...but then I realized she was so busy laughing her damn head off that her eyes were slammed shut. I used my remaining strength to pull out my shield and chucked it at Crackle with all my might...

"BANG!" Direct hit to her cranium...she passed out cold. I barely had time to assess my injuries before an annoyingly high pitched male voice spoke to me...

"Impressive, Petra!"

I looked up to see a very old, short, wrinkly man in a brown cloak, black shirt and pants, and a black top hat, with brown eyes and a psychotic grimace, clapping enthusiastically at my "performance". The Plague Witches' leader...of course...

"I am not joining your cult, creep! Sod off!"

"But you have not even met me!

I am Calamitous Dreemer,

the Plague Witches' leader!

We Plague Witches are the cannon

of our Great Lord Ganon!"

Not exactly new information, old geezer...I'm painfully familiar with your damn cult!

"I'm not about to support that creep!"

"You have no choice! The Voice is his, and it shall soon rule ALL! See you around, if you are not buried in the ground!"

Calamitous burst into laughter before he and the unconscious Crackle disappeared. I sat down to finish assessing my injuries...they weren't awful for what I had been through, but I still had some smarting burns from Crackle's lightning. I applied some medicinal herbs to the wounds before continuing my journey towards Gerudo Town, the home base of the Gerudo...

Chapter 4

I moved with haste through the Gerudo Desert...hard to do in the blistering heat. Somehow the Desert is even more mingingly hot than the surrounding Wastelands and I struggled to keep moving...it's a very dull place, the Gerudo Desert; sand, sand, and more sand, with little to look at except the occasional hydromelon (kinda meh in my book, useful only for water) or voltfruit cactus (I love love LOVE voltfruit, so I shot the salmon colored fruits off every cactus I came across). Eventually I reached an oasis surrounded by the ruins of some buildings (maybe a bazaar at some point?); I decided this would be a good place to stop for the day and, after (CAREFULLY) quenching my thirst in the oasis, tucked into the shade of some of the ruins to sleep, making sure I was not easily visible to passing monsters or plague witches. The Voice gave me a very hard time that night...

Petra...Petra...Link is seeking to kill you...hurry...join the Plague Witches...for your own protection... My mind displayed terrible images of a bloodshot, fanged Link preparing to slit my throat open...it was horrifying. I jerked awake to find a full moon and a frigid desert night...

"Go away, stupid Voice! I am not listening to you!" I yelled out to thin air like a maniac. The Voice became angrier and more insistent.

HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU ARE A FOOL FOR SUPPORTING HIM! JOIN THE WITCHES OR ROT! The nightmares of Link killing me in every debauched way imaginable just got worse...repeated over and over again...it. Was. Horrifying...by the time The Voice gave up I was clenching my teeth and tightly holding my head in terror, sweating profusely.

That minging Voice! I wish I could just punt it into next millennium! I never did settle back down to sleep that night, try though I might...every little sound, every rustle of the breeze, made me think someone (Link?) was about to spring from cover and try to impale me on a knife, jolting me back awake again. By the time morning came I was a zombie...absolutely exhausted, barely coherent. It took me several hours of rest before I could muster the strength to walk the next few hours to Gerudo Town.

Gerudo Town is a huge, roughly square fortress of hardened clay; I was fully expecting the Gerudo to welcome me within those walls with open arms...the big nosed tribe is basically all female, and they even share my red hair. Does life EVER go according to plan, though? When I approached the city gate the wanker guards promptly blocked my approach with their spears, ready for battle. I was shocked.

"What are you bloody doing?! I'm no criminal!"

"You're a hylian! That makes you criminal by default!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Get lost before our spears have a very INTIMATE conversation with you!"

"Can you at least tell me -"

"GET LOST!" The guards both tried to stab me and I barely leaped out of the way. Feeling extremely frazzled by my inability to enter the city to look for Link (and too wound up to realize that they probably didn't let Link in either), I cursed the guards and stormed back towards the Wastelands...in the brutal desert sun...it didn't end well. A sandstorm broke out and I staggered off the trail...I became way too hot...my vision blurred...my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest...and then I passed out.

While I was out "cold" I had a dream about my childhood...I was walking around Hyrule Castle Town, which was mostly filled with normal people at that point but already had the occasional Voice maddened creep fumbling about. Little eight year old me feared them...but not as much as she feared her own brothers.

"Hey, it's ginger!" one of my older brothers yelled out.

"Beat her up!" another blurted out. Soon six of my seven older half brothers – all of whom (except for Devyn, who never joined these chases) were eventually consumed by The Voice - were chasing me through the streets...I was running for my life, terrified; they hated me that much. I escaped that time by hiding in an abandoned house, one whose former owner had wandered out of town from The Voice; my older "brothers" had beaten me up badly when they had caught me before. I hid in that house, crying for maybe half an hour...

Suddenly I was tapped on my right shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my own skin, fearing my brothers had found me...but when I came to, it was my only sister, my dear oldest half sibling, Anastasia. Short (like me), skinny, blonde (not like me), a deceptively fierce warrior...and yet so warm, compassionate, a ledge in my own eyes. I quickly embraced her.

"Little Swallow...did your brothers try to hurt you again?" Little me nodded, still in tears.

"Those wretched rats...they're going to be devoured by that Voice, I know it. I'm so sorry...do you want to come to Mabe Village to spend the night with Horace and I?" (Horace was her husband...she had a good 16 years on me.)

"Yes," I answered with a grin. We got up and left the Castle Town hand in hand...

...and then I began to arouse from my long, heat induced slumber. I was no longer exposed to the desert sun; instead I was in what looked like a cave on a stone floor, covered with a blanket and with a wet cloth over my forehead. The cave was quite dark, lit only by torches, and I was being watched by two gerudo who appeared to be thieves...when I woke enough to think about it I absolutely flipped.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!" I yelled out as I leaped to my feet, throwing the blanket over the surprised gerudo.

"Whoa whoa whoa, little vai, calm down, calm down! All our Lord Namib did was rescue a young vai he saw passed out in the desert! We've been waiting for you to wake up for a day now!" (A "vai" is a woman in gerudo speak; a "voe" is a man.) It was not long before "Lord Namib" came walking in...and he was terrifying.

Lord Namib is a MALE gerudo – born once every hundred years, supposed to be their damn king – and he is immensely muscular, scar covered, and towers over me, about two meters and a quarter high (I am a meter and a half high midget). He was wearing a faded black cloak with some red markings over some very worn brown pants...he wasn't wearing a shirt when we first "met", leaving his six pack fully visible (and making me very uncomfortable). Over his shoulders were some leather shoulder pads with sharpened bones protruding from the middle, his feet were adorned with faded leather sandals, and he had a simple gold necklace with a ruby in it. He was armed with two huge swords, both with golden hilts and long orange tassels coming off the hilts, though both were sheathed when he first approached me. He did not seem very angry when he approached, but I went off on him anyway.

"In what world is it polite to just hoist a random unconscious bird to your home?!" I yelled at him.

"Ya had passed out from the arvo's heat! I wasn't about to let ya become a cactus!"

"Just let me out of this mould trap!" I yelled out as I stormed towards the door, shoving the alarmed bloke in the process. However...the door, which was run by a crank and reminded me of a drawbridge, was tightly shut; I could not leave. Two additional gerudo women were manning the door and shushed me.

"Why should I -"

I did not get to finish before another gerudo woman forcefully put her hand over my mouth. I flailed wildly and threw her off me before long, but before I could continue waffling I heard a familiar voice outside...

"Those thieves must be somewhere...

Lord Namib had better beware,

for when I find them, I'LL HANG THEM THERE!

At last I'll retrieve that necklace I wear!"

It was Dreemer...and he was not alone. I could hear many other minging people with him...Crackle, various other men and women I did not recognize, a gaggle of evil who apparently had a major beef with Namib. The cave was completely silent for an hour...it felt like I could hear the nervous heartbeat of everyone there. Eventually Dreemer and his posse left...as they did I realized Namib and I had a common enemy.

"Can we finally talk like a sane bruce and sheila, miss?" I quickly shot out a loaded question.

"What beef does Dreemer have with you, Namib?!"

"Plain and simple, sheila. Ya...ya see this necklace I am wearing? I stole it from Dreemer in his sleep years ago. He's...he's had a crook vendetta against us ever since."

He's not telling me something...

"What beef does Dreemer have with ya, sheila?"

"Dreemer tried to recruit me and I refused..." Namib looked unsurprised.

"One look at ya and I can tell ya are beauty in battle. By the way...what is your name?"

"Petra."

"Petra? Little Lorule's fiery torch? Honor to meet ya, mate! Your ginger hair is even prettier in person than I expected." I promptly grabbed his throat.

"DON'T...CALL...ME...THAT!" He glared at me before wresting himself free of my grasp.

"Anyhow...what brings ya here to my woop woop desert?"

"Searching for a dear friend."

"Could ya describe him? We might have seen him."

"Little over one hundred and sixty centimeters tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, looks like a commoner, fights like a daemon..."

"Aha! I think we have seen him. The other day several of my thieves tried to rob a bruce like that as he was leaving our desert...he absolutely schooled them; they felt lucky he didn't simply off them." I was NOT impressed that Namib tried to burglarize my best friend...

"YOU TRIED TO MUG LINK?!" I yelled as I shook Namib. His eyes widened...

"CRIKEY! His...his name is Link?! But that...that's a Hero's name!" I promptly stopped shaking him.

"What are you talking about?!"

"There have been many heroes that have roamed Hyrule and the vast majority have been named 'Link'. I...I know exactly why your friend took off...he's the Hero. He left...to end the Voice...to fight Ganon..."

"What's this porky you are telling?! I thought Ganon was in the realm of fairy tales!" (I lied...I knew Ganon was real, just didn't want to let him in on who I really am...)

"Not according to the Plague Witches...they can control The Voice, can even force a weak hylian to obey it, and they say Ganon is producing it as he sleeps. They also say he is sleeping in a Temple of Darkness in northeastern Akkala, virtually the other side of Hyrule from here..."

Not anything new to me...but why would they tell Namib this?!

"Link probably ran off to gather what he needs to fight Ganon...the Sword That Seals The Darkness, the Bow of Light, a Princess of the Royal Family...I am not sure ya should chase after him."

This sounds like a long shot...but I don't have much else to go on to find Link. Guess I don't have much choice, then...crunch time, Petra; help Link defy your common destiny or lose him like you already did your sister...

"Oh, I beg to differ, bloke! No way I'm letting Link fight that SWINE without me! I'm going to follow and help him!"

"But it's dangerous, sheila! The Plague Witches will be after ya every step of the way!"

"Who cares?! Link's the only damn friend I have, and I'm not going to just let him die!" Namib was very impressed by my courage...maybe too impressed...

"Well then, I am coming with ya!" His thieves looked shocked.

"But Lord Namib, what will happen to us if you perish?!"

"Simple! Keep doing what ya have always done! And find a new hideout for us all...Dreemer got FAR too close to finding us today." I was shocked Namib seriously wanted to help a complete stranger...I didn't think he, as a naff thief, would have much for courage.

"Why would your ilk want to help a complete stranger?!"

"Because by helping 'a complete stranger' I can finally do something about Dreemer ruling my people! Maybe even become king while I'm at it...a king who will actually care about his subjects..."

Wait...Dreemer rules the gerudo?! I thought they hated hylians?!

As we continued speaking Namib's underlings prepared some rations, clothes, and soap for the thief lord; many of the thieves were gerudo, but there were also some hylian men among them (I'm assuming most of them were the gerudo's husbands...there are virtually no male gerudo, remember, so if they want children they need to marry SOMEONE from another race). When they finished the doorkeepers opened the door to find that night had fallen on the Gerudo Desert.

"Just follow me, Petra...this is the Karusa Valley, on the north end of the Gerudo Desert. I'll lead ya back to the wastelands and then we will proceed north to search for the Hero. Stay on your guard..."