(A/N): We continue with the conversation that never ends (which will hopefully end soon), with the aftermath of Leo admitting that he doesn't feel like he deserves to be loved.

Trigger Warnings: Brief mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation and uh... methods of committing suicide? You know what the method is- it's just the chains talk, again.

Leo

I knew I shouldn't have said it. I knew how it would come across- how they'd take it- but it wasn't like I could just lie. Even if I'd felt like doing so, they'd be able to see right through it- or more accurately, to hear and smell through it- so there was absolutely no point. I also... it was sort of a trick, on my part. To give them something to think about that was sufficiently unpleasant for all of us, to distract them from the previous subject. The part of the conversation where I'd- mostly unintentionally- found myself taking about my more self-destructive tendencies, rather than explaining my difficult relationship with 'deserving' things. Yeah. That.

"Which is a bunch of tripe, I know- I know. But I'm still just- it's my first instinct, and it takes a lot for me to fight, and push past that. Mostly, push past that." I didn't look at Lisbet because I already knew what I would see on her face, but Jerremyah- Jerremyah, I looked at, and it was almost as bad. He looked pained, and slightly disappointed, but not surprised. Like this unfortunate, but ultimately, to be expected.

"I," He said, then paused- clearly he'd started trying to talk before he'd really been ready. Before he'd finalised his perfectly planned response, because he'd been too preoccupied rushing to reassure me. "I can't say I haven't felt the same way." That wasn't the reassurance I was expecting, and as I peered around at him with a furrowed brow, Lisbet sniffed angrily against my cheek. I patted her back absent-mindedly, and considered how to handle that.

"But you don't feel that way anymore?" He hesitated, his eyes flicking to Lisbet in a way that I knew was almost as unwanted as it was unintended. He dragged his eyes back to me as quickly as possible, but even so, I felt Lisbet brace herself bodily against me- she knew she wasn't going to enjoy the coming conversation. It... it was incredibly gratifying, to have her use my body to support hers- to know that she trusted me- trusted the strength of my body, at least- to be able to do so. The added weight helped ground me, even if she was far from heavy- it was a kind of living, breathing weight, that was just so comforting to me.

"I... didn't." It was short, but I understood what he meant immediately. He'd been past that feeling... and then he and Lisbet had- I pressed my thumb against the ridges of her spine, knowing that she was surely hurt by this, despite the fact that she wouldn't have changed it even if she could.

"And now you do, again?" He hesitated once more, then reluctantly nodded. "Well, then we just have to fix that again." He blinked, then opened his mouth- presumably to remind me that he'd only admitted to this because I had the same issue- but I pushed on before he had the chance to say anything. "We can do it together. A two for one special, so to speak."

The corner of his lips quirked up, like he couldn't help himself. Then, he forced himself to sober- probably because he felt the subject merited it. "What did we say about you tying yourself to me?" He asked rhetorically, clearly trying to sound admonishing... and just as clearly failing.

"That I didn't have to," I answered faithfully, and he looked relieved- until I continued, with the specific aim of wiping that look from his face. "Don't have to; still going to." He blinked, and I relished in getting to see the blush blooming high on his cheeks.

"That's- that's not-" He wasn't going to be able to do more than splutter for a little while, and I think Lisbet knew that, because she took it upon herself to change the subject.

"Not to try to minimise this matter- and we certainly will be working on that later, for both of you- but can I just say... speaking of 'tying yourself' to things..." My heart dropped into my stomach.

"I have a feeling I know where you're going with this." I said darkly, trying not to give away how I felt one way or the other, and she nodded.

"'Chains' is where I'm going with this." I did my best not to wince- it wasn't the subject matter that bothered me, but having to talk about it. Having to see their reactions- Lisbet, already looking heartbroken once again, and Jerremyah's confused apprehension- and hear the pain thick in their voices. Clearly at this point, Jerremyah didn't know where we were going with this, but I remembered his reaction to me telling him that I would take matters into my own hands, and I wasn't looking forwards to watching the realisation dawn on his face.

"...ah." He quirked an eyebrow at me, apparently familiar enough with my mannerisms by now to know that a response like that was unlikely to be good news.

"Would either of you care to fill me in?" He asked, and Lisbet and I shared a look.

All it took was for her to see the grimace on my face, and she shrugged before obliging. "When Leo and I were discussing him... taking matters into his own hands," She was very careful not to put any sort of emphasis on the words, or to change her intonation at all, but Jerremyah knew what she meant, nonetheless- I could tell by the way his eyes widened. "We got onto the subject of the fact that he'd asked Elaine to do it for him." His eyebrows furrowed now, and he looked confused- almost like he was reconsidering whether he did know what she was talking about, after all.

"Do what?" He asked, not even a hint of subterfuge or ulterior motive behind the question, and I sighed heavily into Lisbet's hair.

"Kill me." It was blunt. Too blunt for Jerremyah, apparently, because he stiffened, I could feel it. "She said no. Well... she said no, and then I insisted, and she changed the subject. She never said yes, is the point." He looked confused to say the least.

"Wait... you asked her to kill you? Why? When was this? What- I thought you were going to-" He cut himself off, and Lisbet and I waited patiently for his mind to catch up to his mouth. "To tell the truth, I don't know what I thought you were planning to do. I was trying not to think too hard about it, to be honest." This time I did wince, because I knew what was coming, what Lisbet's reaction would be-

"Chains," She said as gently as possible, which... wasn't how I expected her to say it, but the content was spot on. "Chains, is how he planned to do it." I took note of her use of the past tense, but didn't bother correcting her. In the end, if she thought she'd resolved the issue, then she couldn't stop me if it came to the point where I felt like I had to- to-

"...oh." Jerremyah uttered, and it sounded... flat. As a matter of fact, he looked vaguely deflated. "That's-"

Lisbet cut him off. "Awful, yes. He also said that even if he went the 'chains' route, he'd need someone to help him with it, but he wasn't sure he trusted any of us to do it, because we all care too mu-" Jerremyah cut her off in turn, and even if being interrupted hadn't already rendered her silent, what he chose to say, would have.

"I'll do it." He told her, then his eyes swung to meet mine. "I'll do it, if you need someone."

(A/N): Leo: 'It was blunt. Too blunt for Jerremyah, apparently (...)'

Jerremyah: *is usually the bluntest person around, but is trying to be good, for Leo*

Jerremyah: 'Not the best subject matter, but I appreciate his forthrightness.'

Lisbet: 'Literally the WORST subject matter.'

Leo: 'Hold my mirror shard, I can do better.'