Chapter 15

The next morning was quite uneventful...we woke up, packed, and joined the tour group on the journey back out of Eldin. Before we left Bouldero was quick to offer his goodbyes.

"Thanks for the business, little guys and gals!"

"My pleasure, boyfriend!" Colpera replied.

"And thank you again for protecting my tourists, Lord Namib and Lady Barclaya!"

"Anytime, mate!" Namib replied...I was hesitant to acknowledge I did anything right. We were soon marching downhill...my pride was still smarting from catching fire on this route a few days prior and I was VERY careful around the fire keese and fire chuchus this time around. Eventually we reached the Foothill Stable, where Colpera made a point of thanking us.

"Thank you SO MUCH, boyfriend and girlfriend...we'd have roasted without you two this time. Please, Princess Barclaya...take this." With that she pulled out a gold plated card signed "Hyrulean Ambassador of Tourism" and handed it to me.

"Tourism in our fair Hyrule would not run without courageous souls like yourself, girlfriend...just show this badge at any stable and they will let you stay for free. Just a small mark of my gratitude for you."

"Thththank you..." Colpera then handed Namib about 200 rupees as I went to retrieve "Devyn" from the stable. Namib protested as soon as he noticed.

"There's a cliff blocking the road to Zora's Domain, Barclaya...there's a buckley's chance your horse can climb, so I would recommend leaving him here before we shoot through to Zora's Domain."

"Oh come on! I haven't been with Devyn in days!" I had to take a few minutes to pout before I paid for "Devyn's" continued stay and we left.

We backtracked downhill towards Zora's Domain, passing the route for Akkala as we did so, until we hit a fork passing by the Zora River. We took the east route towards the domain...much of the route skirted or was directly above the Zora River; I was NOT happy. Brought up awful nightmares...felt like my eyes were slammed shut half of the trip, and poor confused Namib had to lead me by the hand at times. To add to our woes...there were monsters EVERYWHERE. The rivers were infested with octoroks (the normal, rock spitting kind) and the land was overrun with lizalfos, many armed with shock arrows that make debilitating electrical discharges whenever they hit anything wet (and bloody everything in Zora's Domain is wet!). After fighting through countless monsters we eventually set up camp in a patch of woodland a third of the way up the trail.

"Barclaya?" Namib asked me as I was getting ready to sleep.

"Not a good time, Namib...I've lost the plot."

"Why are ya so afraid of the drink? Ya act as if looking at it means instant death." I wanted to go off on him...but Namib had done too much for me already, so I tried to explain why water scares me so.

"When...when Devyn died...soldiers...soldiers cornered me on Proxim Bridge...I...I plunged off the bridge to save myself...and...and..." I was shaking and crying as I tried to tell the story of how my fear of water came into ugly being. Namib looked very empathetic.

"Ah...I think I can piece together the rest of that story. I don't swim either, so really I should be a bit more afraid of the drink than I am...sorry."

"You didn't push me off the bridge..." He paused for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Anything...anything I can do to help ya?"

"Don't push me off a bridge."

"Besides that?"

"...no. I...I'll just have to work through it myself, Namib...I am supposed to be the Heroine; supposed to be fearless."

"I'm sure even Link has things he is afraid of...one with no fear is one who is dead. Courage is the defiance of what fears ya have...and ya have already shown a lot of that going on this crazy trip trying to hunt Link down. I am jealous of your courage, in fact..."

"You...you really think so?"

"Bloody oath." I smiled brightly at my companion.

"Cheers, Namib." He did not get to answer me before the sky began thundering...we quickly took refuge under some nearby trees as the rain began to fall in buckets. We continued our chinwag for a little while longer before we drifted into sleep...

The next morning...

"Rise and shine, Princess...rise and shine..."

…

"Rise and shine Princess...rise and shine..."

"Give me five more minutes..."

"RISE AND SHINE ALREADY!" Suddenly I jolted awake to see an unfamiliar bird with purple hair, a bizarre fish scale swimsuit, and a trident standing over me, her bare foot on my chest, ready to strike.

"ENJOY THIS MOMENT, BECAUSE IT IS THE LAST YOU WILL EVER GET!" She went to impale me through the throat...I slammed my eyes shut, expecting the end...

But the end never came; when my eyes awakened I was behind my would-be murderer, who now looked very confused. I had just bloody teleported...I wrapped my mind around that and then turned to mocking her.

"YOUR AIM STINKS!" I screamed at her, causing her to swivel backwards like a naughty dog.

"YOU...Dreemer sent me to recruit you, but if you're Namib's new lady friend I'd rather skewer you instead! He did me wrong by letting go of me years ago, and I want payback!"

Another Plague Witch...here we go again...the witch charged me and I, still lacking a sword, caught her trident on my shield, knocking her off balance and allowing me to score a sucker punch to her face. She was barking mad.

"JUST DIE ALREADY!" she screamed before summoning huge chunks of ice she proceeded to throw at me. I leaped out of the way of the first few before using my magic to launch the last back at her, stunning her and allowing me to bash her head with my shield...this did not feel as challenging as the last three Plague Witch Acolytes; was she less skilled, or was I simply getting better at fighting them?

When the Plague Witch recovered from being beaten over the head repeatedly she went into a frenzy trying to skewer me on her trident...I just sidestepped her over and over again until finally I seized the moment to land a head shot with my bow, staggering her. Before the fight could continue...

"PHOEBE, WHAT ARE YA DOING?!" Namib yelled out, having slept through our skirmish until now.

"I'm no 'Phoebe' anymore, Namib! I am Hydrilla the Plague Witch! If you wanted me to be 'Phoebe' you should have kept me those four years ago! Just join the Plague Witches and kill this Princess and I'm all yours!"

"YA WERE SUCH A KIND AND LOVING SHEILA! WHAT WOULD DRIVE YA TO JOIN THEM?!"

"Necessity, Namib! Become a Plague Witch or die, they told me...you know it as well as I do; Ganon WILL conquer Hyrule someday, and only his loyal ones shall walk this land! I joined the winning side!" I was livid.

"Ha! Ha! HA! Give me a break, you wanker! By the time I'm done with him 'Ganon' won't even be a thing!"

"YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS!" Hydrilla then disappeared and Namib hurried to my side.

"Are ya alright? Did she hurt you?"

"I'm fine, Namib...but you can look me over if you'd like..." I don't know if Namib realized I was flirting with him, but look me over he did.

"Thank goodness she did not hurt ya..." Namib then turned towards the ground, looking very depressed.

"Was Phoebe once...your bird?"

"It sounds like a furphy...but yes. She was a much nicer sheila back then...I cannot believe she joined those Plague Witches. Becoming a Plague Witch always ruins all the good ya have..." He then sat down and cried...and this time I was not repulsed; I actually wanted to make him feel better.

"Namib...would you...like me to be your new 'sheila'?"

"Ya don't have to do that just to make me feel good, Barclaya..." I gently whispered my next reply.

"You are my best friend now, Namib...I wouldn't want anyone else." He was visibly shocked.

"Crikey...ya...ya really want me?"

"Yes." He gently wrapped his massive arm around my shoulder...I put my comparatively puny arm around his.

"T...tttt...thank ya!" We just sat there, holding each other, for a few minutes, trying to settle down from our encounter with Hydrilla/Phoebe/whoever she now is, before resuming our walk to Zora's Domain. We fought through several more lizalfos camps and the odd moblin or two before finally reaching Zora's Domain...the Zora, for those unfamiliar, look like a hylian and a shark had a love child; their heads look like tiny sharks or rays, they have streamlined, countershaded bodies, fins on their arms...I make them sound creepy, but really they are not and most of them are decent people. Zora's Domain itself is a beautiful pearlescent place with a huge fish sculpture in the middle; its paths wind every which way around a central throne room, where Namib promptly led me. In the throne room was a massive zora who looked more like a whale than a shark...

"Lord Namib!" he called out for all to hear, "you have returned! With a friend!"

"This is my new sheila, Lord Tanichthys...you might recognize her..." The massive zora took a closer look...then his jaw dropped.

"Am I out of my mind?! Zelda Barclaya, I am so happy to see you! I thought the Royal Family was extinct!"

"Good to see you again, Your Majesty..." I proceeded to curtsy...something I absolutely loathe doing, by the way; makes me feel prissy.

"Just a few days ago The Hero came through here, asking for help raiding the Temple of Darkness...I denied his request because I thought without a Princess he would never succeed. But now? I absolutely can supply forces to help him if you can lend your strength towards battling Ganon!"

"Thank you, Your Majesty..." I did not dare tell him about the chasm that had developed between me and Link.

"See?! I told ya we should have come here!" Namib told me triumphantly. I gave him a stink eye but did not answer him verbally.

"Now you two should rest before returning to Hyrule at large tomorrow! Please, please, rest at the Seabed Inn free of charge!" The very name freaked me out, but we did nonetheless go to settle into the inn...Namib made carp soup for our meal (the first food we had eaten that day) before we tucked into our respective beds.

"Barclaya?"

"Yes?"

"I...I love ya..." Those words...I would have killed him if he uttered them less than two weeks ago, but now they felt so...right.

"Love you too, Namib..." I decided words were not enough and slipped out of bed, walked to his, and tried to snog him on the lips...all I succeeded in doing was crashing into his forehead, leaving a big bump on mine...his forehead is hard!

"Ow ow ow ow..." Out came one of Namib's medicinal herbs, which he very gently rubbed into the bump...honestly the attention felt romantic in its own right.

"Want to try again?" he asked.

"Sure." We got it right this time, after which we tucked into our respective beds...

Chapter 16

Barclaya, you fool! You fell in love with HIM?!

I woke up in the middle of the night to that damn Voice haunting my mind yet again.

He is your mortal enemy! He wants you dead! Now kill him before he kills you!

What the hell are you talking about?! Go away! The Voice tried to harass me further, but this time I was able to shut it out entirely with my magic...or so I thought. It kept coming back about every bloody half hour, and my sleep was ruined...the next morning Namib was quick to notice how knackered I was.

"Ya look exhausted, beloved. Was it..."

"The Voice?" He looked alarmed.

"Ya aren't listening to it, are ya?! My father listened to The Voice and wandered off into the desert alone...no one ever saw him again."

Oh yeah...he's a gerudo, his father was probably a hylian...

"You don't have to worry, Namib...I'll never yield to that minging Voice..." He took a minute to calm down, then kissed my forehead.

"Good. Now let's get some brekky." Namib helped me out of bed before we got some sneaky snail escargot for breakfast. After finishing our breakfast (the snails are quite large, so it only takes two or three to make a hearty meal) we met with Tanichthys to give our goodbyes.

"Lord Namib, Lady Barclaya...when you see Link, can you please tell him that I WILL offer my forces to help him?"

"Will do," we both replied in unison...kinda creepy really. Tanichthy's finest soldiers then saw us off as we restarted our quest to find Link. It took about a day and a half (counting a night spent sleeping) to leave the vicinity of Zora's Domain...not many monsters had recolonized the road since our first pass through, so we were able to spend most of that time as a couple, talking, holding hands, skipping stones, just goofing off. When we eventually left Zora's Domain we returned to the Foothill Stable to pay for and retrieve "Devyn"...we spent the night before we left.

During that night I had a dream...an adorable little preteen girl, around 12 years old, with her beautiful blonde hair fixed in two buns and in the clothes of a commoner, was calling out to me.

"Auntie...Auntie...I am in the Gatepost Village...if you are out there...can you please come see me?"

Diana! Might...might she still be alive?! I had presumed that all of my relatives had perished in the upheaval that erupted when the Plague Witches conquered Hyrule Castle...but this...it felt so much like Diana herself, not just some random dream or one imposed by The Voice. Early the next morning I was quick to awaken Namib and tell him where I wanted to go.

"We need to go to the Gatepost Village...NOW!"

"Any particular reason why?"

"Just trust me, Namib! We've gotta leg it there NOW!" He quickly rose, we ate fruit for breakfast, and we hastily packed before gathering and paying for "Devyn" and setting off on our way. We backtracked downhill before veering west at the fork leading to Zora's Domain, followed the river, and then crossed Thim's Bridge, to the northwest of Zelo Pond. Upon crossing the bridge we passed between Crenel Peak and the Crenel Hills (to our west and east respectively) before reaching the Wetland Stable...some unlucky bird was being attacked by a bokoblin on the nearby Rebonae Bridge, so I galloped ahead and offed the bokoblin with an arrow before we settled into the stable for the night. Before we fell asleep Namib just had to know why I was making haste to the Gatepost Town.

"Just why are we shooting through so fast to that village?" he asked me.

"Namib...last night I had a dream...my niece...my niece who I thought was dead...was calling to me to go to the Gatepost Village...it...it was not The Voice...I...I think she's alive somewhere there...I NEED to see her as soon as humanly possible..."

"Ah...makes sense. I thought ya were looking for some way to get atop the Plateau...but that is a very good reason. I'll support ya one hundred percent of the way...I sure hope we find her. Love ya." We kissed before returning to our respective beds and hitting the hay.

The next morning we woke up early (correction; I woke up early and dragged Namib out of bed), retrieved "Devyn", and quickly resumed our journey to the Gatepost Town. We veered east a short while before heading south past the Lanayru Wetlands...not a place I ever want to visit (sure most of it is but knee deep, but all it takes is one damn patch of deceptively deep water...). We eventually crossed the Eagus Bridge; while skirting around the heavily forested Batrea Lake...

"Auntie! AUNTIE!"

"DIANA!" I ran to my long-missing niece and took hold of her tightly, spinning her around as tears poured from my eyes...we both held each other, crying, me not giving much thought as to what the hell she was doing there...

"I thought you were dead, Auntie!"

"I thought the same about you!" Namib did not approach closely...when I opened my eyes I saw why.

Link...my countenance plunged and I quickly let go of my niece.

"Link, what the hell is my niece doing with you?!"

"I thought you said I was the only Princess of Hyrule left, Mr. Link?!" Now I knew EXACTLY why she was with Link...and I promptly went off my trolley.

"YOU WERE GOING TO USE MY NIECE FOR THAT DAMN RITUAL?! SHE'S ONLY TWELVE, LINK! SHE'S A CHILD! WHY WOULD YOU RISK HER HIDE WHEN I'M AROUND?!" I yelled out as I shook him. He, completely unfazed, made it very clear that in his eyes, as long as I was with Namib, I could not fulfill my "destiny"...he urged me to abandon Namib if I wanted to fulfill my "destiny"...

Argh...now even Link is trying to make me fulfill that damn pointless "destiny"!

"I love this bloke, and he's NOT evil! I am NOT leaving him! Who says I have to perpetuate 'destiny', Link?! To just repeat that endless, mindless cycle...the two of us put together could do so much better than that! Stop being so rigid, Linky!" At that Link reluctantly listened to reason...he agreed to return to the Gatepost Town with us to discuss our next steps. For the rest of the day the Sword glowed brightly whenever Namib approached within a certain distance...

We went east across the Owlan Bridge and continued east for a while before hitting another fork in the road, at which point we went south and soon found ourselves in the quaint Gatepost Town...it is one of several towns flanking the north side of the Great Plateau, where I thought we would be going the next day; there's a garrison at the nearby Lake Kolomo, but at that moment it was sparsely populated, most of its mug soldiers having succumbed to The Damn Voice. The sight of the nearby Forest of Time to the east...where Devyn perished...brought tears to my eyes...

Before too long the four of us settled into an inn, combining our funds to pay the 120 rupee fee; there were no spare beds after we claimed ours. We soon got to talking...

"Auntie, where have you been all these years?"

"Devyn...he...he tried to bring me to Namib, but we were attacked by Dreemer's goons and...and he sacrificed himself so I could escape...even...even so...I...I almost drowned in the Hylia River..." Poor Diana looked heartbroken and sat on my bed next to me...Link seemed surprised to learn that Namib had previously been friends with the Prince of Hyrule.

"I...I'm so sorry, Auntie..." she spat out between tears, only now realizing how close she came to losing her only aunt. I held her shoulder in return.

"It's alright...I would never have met Link if Devyn's ploy had not gone to pot. Link saved me, brought me to Little Lorule, and taught me to fight. Now, four years later...surprise! Link becomes Hyrule's hero and disappears, and I leave Little Lorule to find him, oblivious to his new purpose. Along the way...I met Namib here, and he agreed to come with me to find Link. I really couldn't stand him at first...but now we're in love..."

"Awww..."

"Now Diana...where have you been these four bloody long years?"

"On the run. Daddy is in East Post...we've lived in several towns since those wankers took the Castle. I've had to hide my pretty blue dress so those evil Plague Witches don't notice I'm the Princess, Auntie...just yesterday I was out playing with the other kids when Link approached. He said that the Sword told him I was a Princess and that he wanted me to come with him to help save Hyrule...I wanted to help, so I came with him. Never knew you were still around, Auntie..." I was in bollocks.

"But...but I thought you tried to talk to my mind yesterday?!"

"I haven't learned telepathy yet, Auntie...mum disappeared before she could teach me much..."

"Then who sent me that dream?!" All four of us looked VERY uncomfortable...

"Oh I hope hope HOPE it was just a coincidence!" Namib barked out. I realized I needed to change the subject...

"Link...how did you learn...that you were the Hero?" It was quite a story apparently...Link was on a scouting mission in the Wastelands when an extremely old man with only one arm approached him. They got to talking...and the man revealed his trump card; TWO pieces of the legendary Triforce! Two! He told Link that the gods had selected him as the Hero to fight The Voice...and urged him to FIRST, find the Sword That Seals The Darkness; SECOND, find Zelda, Princess of Hyrule; and THIRD, gather Hyrule's non-hylian races together to storm the Temple of Darkness. Only once those requirements were met would he give Link – and the Princess – those Triforce pieces.

Link subsequently went to Gerudo Town to enlist their help in attacking the Temple, but he was violently rebuffed before he could even ask them (no surprise there). He then marched to New Kakariko Village and Goron City, successfully enlisting them for the attack, before he met Namib and I on the way back from Goron City. He said he felt absolutely heartbroken seeing me support a man he believed was purely evil...and to realize that I had been hiding my real identity from him the whole time. He left very depressed but was still determined to save Hyrule, so he went to Zora's Domain to enlist their help...they did not agree to support Link unless he could find a Princess of Hyrule. The Sword told him he could find one in the East Post Town...he found Diana...and they were returning to Zora's Domain when we found her.

"Well, good news, Linky!" I barked out, "We met with the Zora King and he agreed to support your endeavor to attack that mental Temple!" He was quite happy...seemed to improve his shaky perspective of me. He apologized for getting so upset at Namib and I on the trail to Goron City.

"Barclaya saved the Gorons, Link!" Namib told him. "One drongo plague witch tried to light up Death Mountain and she gave him the beating of a lifetime...she's a real heroine now. See why I love her? She's special, this one..."

"You have always been special to me, Auntie..." Diana said affectionately as she embraced me again. Namib looked very embarrassed.

"Thanks, Diana..."

"That's not what I meant at all, sheila..."

"I know, Namib...thank you." We then got to discussing how we could convince the Gerudo to support us...

"Do you think the Gerudo would listen to you, Namib?"

"I was once their prince...the heir apparent...but my mother was a bloody tyrant. There would seem to be a buckley's chance of them listening to me now..." Link urged him to at least try to talk to them.

"Can we talk about this more tomorrow? I am real buggered." Link agreed to that...before too long the blokes were asleep, but Diana was still awake.

"Auntie," she whispered, "can you teach me your magic? Everything mum never got to teach me?"

"Sure...we can start now if you'd like..." We were up for hours, me teaching Diana to use her sacred gift she inherited from our ancestors...she learned telepathy within the night; other forms of magic were taking longer.

"Auntie?" she asked me not long before we tucked into bed.

"Yes, Diana?"

"How are you going to defeat Ganon?" THAT...was the question I did not want to hear. Sure I did not want to just keep the bacon king sleeping...but I had not yet come up with a solid plan on how to actually deal with him.

"I'll...I'll figure something out," I told my niece. She did not look overly impressed with my lack of good ideas...

"Will you need my help, Auntie?"

"No no no...Link and Namib are enough. I'm not going to needlessly risk your hide, Diana...you are all the family I have left..."

"You sure, Auntie?"

"Positive. We've got this! Have you seen Linky fight?!" She seemed to accept that as an answer and tucked into bed...we both slept very peacefully that night. Such a shame the next day was anything but...