Chapter Notes

TWO CHAPTERS IN A ROW? LET'S THROW CONFETTI YEAH! (NO, BUT SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST THE NEW CHAPTERS HERE...)
This chapter is dedicated to all of you readers who always believe in me! I truly appreciate all of the love you've been giving to this fic. It means a lot to me! Like, A LOT! Anyway just so you know I finished editing this chapter at 3 in the morning, so lmao forgive me if you found any typo or error.

Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

Blablabla, without further ado, please enjoy!

Happy reading!

CHAPTER 18: RETURN

When Levi went to search for Moblit to ask about the governess' whereabouts, he had already made a few speculations on why she was nowhere to be seen. Those speculations ranged from the best to the worst ever imaginable.

He of course wished that it would not turn out to be the worst, despite how it kept plaguing his mind for days. Surely, she would not do that, would she?

"Well, the thing is... Miss Hange returned to her hometown just two days ago."

Moblit's voice was clear and firm when he told Levi that piece of information, just as he always did whenever he needed to relay any news to Levi. However, Levi did notice that there was a subtle crack in his voice as if Moblit was unsure about what to make of his question.

Likewise, Levi himself was unsure about how to even react to the news as all of the rationality inside of him evaporated into thin air together with his breath.

"What?" Levi furrowed his brows, and his voice sounded desperate in his ears, but he did not bother to hide it in front of Moblit as he frantically continued, "She left?"

Moblit seemed to be startled by his question, or perhaps by the tone of his voice, but he quickly caught on the implication and shook his head, "Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. I did not make myself very clear to you. What I meant to say is: Miss Hange returned to her hometown two days ago because of an emergency and would return today, so she should be back very soon, sir."

Levi raised one of his eyebrows as he tried to make sense of all this brand-new information that came over him all at once. At first, he was upset about the fact that he was being left in the dark about this. But then, suddenly, Levi realised something.

"Did you not read my letter, sir?" Moblit's question rang back in his head.

Levi wanted to slap himself right in the face. It made sense why Moblit would ask whether Levi had read the letter he had sent a few days ago. Knowing Moblit, he would include this information in his letter that Levi had foolishly left unread in Mitras.

"Oh no, it wasn't your fault. On the contrary, I should be the one who apologised since I hadn't read the letter you had bothered to write and send to me. I'm sorry," Levi gently clarified, "So, can you tell me about what happened? What was this emergency?"

"O-of course, sir." He cleared his voice. "Uh, two days ago, a telegram was sent very early in the morning to Miss Hange. It was from her uncle, and she was informed that her mother had an accident back at home… The news noticeably distressed her, which was understandable because as far as I and the rest of the servants knew, her mother was very ill. Because of this, Mrs Weiss and I allowed her to take a few days off to visit her mother…"

Very ill?

This was the very first time he ever heard about her mother's condition. He was never aware that her mother was struggling with what seemed to be a serious illness. Neither Erwin nor the governess herself had ever told him about it. All of these times, he just assumed that they were just like the common middle-class widow and daughter who struggled financially due to the sudden passing of the head of the house—the father.

Therefore, this new information about her mother being sick changed everything.

Levi didn't realise that he was spacing out until Moblit spoke again, "That's alright with you, right, sir? We allowed her to go because we believe you wouldn't mind…"

"…Oh, yeah, of course," Levi quickly replied, "Both you and Mrs Weiss did the right thing."

A right thing indeed because not too long after that, Keiji came to the servant hall with a ragged breath and an anxious expression on his face.

"Moblit!" Keiji shouted as he descended the stairs and flaunted a small envelope in his left hand. However, right as he was about to give the letter to Moblit, he noticed Levi's presence from the corner of his eyes. He quickly turned away from Moblit to face Levi and bowed his head politely.

"Sir!" He urgently handed Levi the envelope, "A telegram just arrived and it's from Miss Hange."

He felt his heart skip a beat as he stared at the small envelope that was now in his hand. He quickly glanced at both Moblit and Keiji who seemed to share the same question—and concern—as he did.

What was the meaning of it? Why did a telegram arrive right on the day she was supposed to return?

Levi swiftly tore the envelope and took out the small folded paper from within. He unfolded the paper and on it, he saw the usual telegram company letterhead alongside the neat but hasty handwriting of the operator. But that of course was not as important as what she had to say.

I'm sorry I cannot return today because I have to attend my mother's funeral, but I will be back by tomorrow. Thank you for your consideration.

Hange Zoë.

The message was curt, as what one would expect from a telegram but not what one would expect for a message that holds such heavy news. It was over before he even realised what he had just read. Levi had to reread it more than once to fully comprehend the letter's purpose.

Then, when he finally did understand it, he unconsciously tightened his grip on the letter. He was not even aware of the expression he made on his face, but based on the confused looks that Moblit and Keiji gave to him, it must not be pleasant.

"What happened, sir?" It was Moblit who broke the tension.

Levi shook his head before shoving the telegram to Moblit. He did not bother to see their reaction because all he wanted to do was to quickly get out of the servant's hall which abruptly had become too stuffy for him.

He hurriedly ascended the stairs and jogged to his study. Then, once he arrived in the safety of his room, he finally let himself breathe. He was no longer suffocated but instead, he now felt a persistent flick of pain in his head.

Levi sunk his body into his leather chair and massaged his temple.

Before he hired her, he already knew from Erwin that her mother was widowed. But he was not aware of the true condition of her mother. Erwin never mentioned any of the sorts to him which Levi wished he did, because if he knew beforehand, he would let her take as many days off as she could or even raise her fee.

But then again, it was a personal matter that you would not tell your employer about. However, he did remember that she once mentioned about what happened to her father. But that was probably because he was the one who asked about it in the first place.

Now that he thought about it, he did notice that she had been acting a little bit strange after her last visit to Nedlay. However, to his dismay, he did not do anything about it back then.

Levi pursed his lips as he realised that Her mother's condition must have worsened by then. He could not imagine how worried she must be after seeing her mother's condition in Nedlay. She probably would choose to stay with her mother if she could—that is what he would do too if he were in her position—but clearly, she must have believed that she couldn't. So instead, she kept all of her feelings under wrap when she had to go back to the manor.

He should have asked her about it when he noticed it, and maybe she was willing to talk to him. Even if he could not do something about it, at the very least he wanted her to know that he cared.

Yet, he dared to become so selfish in his desire to be with her that he overlooked this kind of possibility. He was so blinded by it that he missed what truly mattered to him, and that was her well-being.

Levi understood that almost no middle-class woman in the country wanted to become a governess. You have to be in some kind of desperation and hopelessness to be one. So of course, other things on her mind are much more important than appeasing her rich and cold employer's feelings.

Even if that feeling conveyed by him was out of affection and tenderness, it might not interpreted the same way by her. Which Levi had to learn the hard way.

He still remembered the shock on both Miche and Erwin's faces when he finally told them about what he said to the governess that night.

"Are you serious?! I can't believe it… I never thought you would do it so soon." Erwin remarked. "This is so unlike you, Levi…"

"Oh god! She has truly bewitched you." Miche blurted out. "I never really thought I have to say it, but please do not take our suggestion too literally the next time."

Levi could only sigh as he admitted that yes, absolutely, he messed it all up.

"Yes, that one is clear. I mean, no lady in this society wants to be proposed without a proper courting first… Not even someone like Hange. Despite her current status, she is still a respectable lady from a quite well-known family." Erwin explained. "What you just did might have offended and troubled her, Levi."

"I agree. I mean I said this out of love for you, mate, but there's nothing proper about receiving a marriage proposal from your employer in the middle of the night right after you just scolded their choice in child-rearing." Miche added. "I sincerely don't get it, Levi."

He didn't get it either. If he could do it, he would like to ask the same question to himself. Even he failed to understand what exactly happened to him. What changed?

There was a compulsion, of course, to take the first ticket to Nedlay so he could see her and explain everything. To clear himself of any offence he might have committed to her and most importantly to show her that she wasn't alone and that he understood her pain.

But in the end, he decided to not do it. There are different layers and struggles in her that he would probably never fully understand.

Not only that, but he was certainly the last person in the world that she would ever want to see during the lowest point in her life.

Levi came to a bitter truth that maybe, sometimes, the best choice is just not to do anything. He had to accept that he really could not do anything for her and his silence was the only thing that would greatly help her during this time.

He quickly understood that his priority now was to not make her hate him even more.

He also understood that their interaction might not be the same after what he had said to her that night, and truth be told, he was fine with not being able to talk to her again. As long as she was still willing to stay as Mikasa's governess, he could accept that consequence.

He could see it as clear as days how Mikasa had taken a great liking to the governess, and despite everything, Levi did not have the heart to cause any pain to his young cousin. He would not let Mikasa lose someone like Hange just because he did something imprudent.

Suddenly, his train of thought led him back to Mikasa, and he remembered that his cousin was still inside the blue drawing room. She said she still wanted to see all the paintings that Levi had tried to explain with the limited knowledge that he had from Kenny, the senior servants, and the Ackerman family book. Therefore, she must haven't heard of the news yet.

Levi wasted no time to leave his study and went back to the blue drawing room.

Inside the room, he found Mikasa standing curiously in front of a painting of a young man with blond hair and amber eyes. She seemed to be studying it quite intently and so she didn't realise Levi's approaching her.

"Hey," he immediately called her.

She turned her head slightly at him, "What?", she asked before returning her gaze to the painting.

"I just received some news," Levi could feel himself fidgeting before finally saying, "Your governess' mother had passed away."

Mikasa finally turned her head fully to face him. Her eyes went wide and for a second, she seemed to be in some kind of daze, as if she wasn't looking at him.

"Mikasa?" Levi called her again, "Are you alright?"

"… I-is that true?"

"Yes. Do you think I would make up a lie for something as serious as that?"

"I… I can't believe it…" Mikasa mumbled under her breath.

Levi stared at her with concern as he did not expect that Mikasa would be so shaken up by the news.

"Well, I heard her mother was already sick for a long time…" Levi explained.

"Oh… I didn't know that." Mikasa stared dejectedly at the floor.

"Well, no one knew about that."

"… But," Mikasa lamented, "I do know that Hange would do everything for her mother, so to lose her mother, she must be so heartbroken right now..."

Levi didn't say anything. He did not need words to express it since heartbreak was no stranger to both Levi and Mikasa. Levi was long acquainted with that feeling and Mikasa was certainly uncomfortably familiar with that feeling.

"When and where is the funeral? Can we visit her?"

"I'm not sure since she did not spare us with details," Levi replied dismally, "But it seemed that the funeral is today."

"That soon?!" Mikasa's face contorted in disappointment, "But we can still visit her, right?"

It would already be dark by the time they came to Nedlay, but that wasn't his concern at all. Again, if he could, he would've already booked the earliest train to Nedlay.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa… There's a reason why she informed us with only short notice," He said carefully, "I know this is hard for you, but at the end of the day, she works for us. So, I don't think she wants us to see her during this time."

'Especially by me,' Levi thought to himself.

Mikasa opened her mouth to protest, but she quickly closed it again. She seemed to understand what he meant, yet she was still visibly upset and sad when she said, "But she was more than that for me… I just wish she had trusted me more. I would understand."

"I don't think it was about trust at all. Sometimes there are things you choose to keep all to yourself."

Mikasa looked at him hopelessly with those eyes of hers, "I suppose you are right."

"I know, I'm always right," He remarked with a slight tease as he rubbed quickly the top of her hair.

Mikasa managed to give him a small smile—though only for a split second—but it was more than enough for Levi.

"Speaking of," Levi continued, "She said she will return tomorrow, but I was thinking of giving her some more days off. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah… I think that's a great idea." Mikasa nodded before glancing at the flower bouquet—that he had given to her earlier—that was put neatly on the table and asked, "Do you suppose we can send her flowers too?"

"I think that can be arranged."

"Okay."

"What kind of flower?"

Mikasa seemed to not hear his question and so he repeated the question, "Hey, I'm asking you. What kind of flower we should give to your governess?"

Mikasa's gaze was still looking at the bouquet on the table, but once again, she didn't seem to be looking at it. Her eyes were empty, and he noticed that she was playing with the lace on her dress. Her eyebrows were furrowed as if she was battling her own thoughts. For a moment, Levi could sense that he had seen that expression before.

"Mikasa."

She was startled by his voice, and in just a split second, her expression shifted to her usual stoic one.

"Sorry," she whispered, "I was trying to remember her favourite flower."

Levi would believe her if it wasn't for the way she kept adverting her eyes from him.

"Don't lie."

"No, I'm not." Mikasa insisted, "Anyway, Hange loves purple iris."

"Yeah, no. I don't think—"

"Miss Mikasa! Where are you, Miss?" A voice suddenly rang across the room, and it seemed to come from the hallway.

"Ah, that's Nifa," Mikasa exclaimed as she glanced at the door. "It must be teatime."

Levi wanted to say anything that could stop his cousin from leaving the room as there were still many questions that he needed to ask her. However, before he could say anything, Mikasa grabbed the bouquet from the table and darted outside.

"I'll see you later, Levi," was the only thing she said to him before she was gone.

Levi bit back the words that he intended to use to call for Mikasa and instead, he looked back at the painting that she was staring at previously. He knew—from the small golden plate underneath—that it was painted to portray a man named Joachim Ackerman. The man was none other than Mikasa's great-grandfather. He was not sure why she took a particular interest in this portrait, though he could probably guess why.

His thought returned to Mikasa as a new—but familiar—kind of uneasy feeling started to form inside him.

However, he had no time to dwell on it now as he had telegram and flowers to send. Levi quickly left the drawing room and closed it back again. He took out the key from his pocket, but as he was about to put it in the keyhole, he stopped. He looked at it for a second before he put it back in his pocket, leaving the door as it was.

Levi turned away from the door and began to search for Moblit—once again—who might still be in the servants' hall.

Levi woke up the next morning from his slumber in his usual chair inside his study, though he would hardly call what he had just done as sleep. However, that was not news for him as that was just how his night usually went.

He poured himself a glass of water and opened the curtains, letting the early morning rays into his dimly lit study.

Even from the concealment of his study, he could hear the muffled chirp of birds as well as the soft ripple of the lake. However, it was not as loud as the sounds that the servants were making in the hallway, as they were already up and went to do their respective duties.

That only meant that he should quickly begin his day too. Levi then left his study and greeted some of the maids that he came across as he made his way toward his room on the left wing. Amongst the maids, he noticed a new face, a young maid with light brown hair.

He recalled that yesterday Mrs Weiss told him that a new maid—Marlene—was already hired and would begin working the next day. There were only a few things that could make Mrs Weiss smile, and one of them was when she successfully added another pair of competent hands to her ammunition of house staff.

When he first inherited the estate, Levi was quite involved in the process of selecting the servants. However, as his workload began to increase, he eventually trusted the process entirely to Mrs Weiss and Mr Dunbar.

In his room, Levi refreshed himself for the day and changed his clothes to a new one. By the time he donned his cream waistcoat, blue silk ascot, and navy coat, it was almost time for breakfast. He withdrew his room and walked toward the dining room.

When he arrived at the dining room, it was empty. The only thing on the table was a stack of neatly ironed newspapers with a fancy tray of tea set on the head of the table. A string of hot steam could be seen coming from the small spout of the teapot.

Levi quickly settled himself on his chair and poured a cup of warm tea for himself, which filled the room with the sweet fragrance of his favourite black tea. The smell was mixed with the scent of paper and ink from the newspaper as he flipped through the pages.

His morning was nothing sort but mundane, yet he found himself enjoying every second of it every day. The thought that everything would always be the same helped him release all the tension from his body, and for a few minutes every day, he could forget for a moment about all his worries.

He absorbed every second of the quietness that was available at that hour as he went on to prepare for any mayhem that the universe got for him. One of that mayhem was none other than his cousin, the source of half his persistent headache.

His cousin, Mikasa, normally arrived much later after the food was already served on the table. However, when the footmen brought out the freshly made and warm meal to the dining room, Mikasa was still yet to show herself. It was quite rare for her to come late, not when Nifa was the one who oversaw her for the day.

Levi put down his cup and frowned. So much for his calm morning. On the other hand, he felt even worse than yesterday. He was just thinking about checking on her room by himself when she finally emerged from the door with Nifa following closely behind her.

Mikasa wasn't generous with her smile, especially not to him, but that morning she had such a miserable and tired expression on her face.

"What? Did you fight a war in your sleep," Levi remarked as he continued to study her face.

Mikasa didn't snide or even retort, much to Levi's dismay, as she usually would not allow him to have the last laugh. She only spared him a glance before letting out a hum and sat on the chair on his left.

Levi shifted her glance to Nifa who was helping Mikasa to set the napkin. Nifa looked back at him and shook her head with a confused look on her face.

Without any clue to help him, Levi could not do anything but act like it was just another morning in the manor. Nevertheless, when they had their breakfast, Levi found himself constantly glancing at his younger cousin. Mikasa herself seemed to be disinterested in her food and only ate a very small amount.

Levi was normally disinterested in small talk, especially during meals. However, he was oddly getting uncomfortable about the silence that encapsulated them inside that dining room. He felt that he had to do something even though he would probably regret it later.

"Hey," Levi called as nonchalantly as he could do, "Moblit and Abel helped me yesterday with the telegram and the flower bouquet. The flower bouquet was quite hard to send over there, but we managed, and so she should've received it by this morning."

Mikasa nodded but her expression remained unchanged. Levi thought that he had just failed to break their silence, but then she suddenly asked, "Have you heard anything from her after that?"

"Uh, no I haven't. I reckon she was busy with the funeral and other things."

"Yeah…" Mikasa mumbled, "But she'll return, right?"

"Of course she will, she said it on her telegram," Levi raised his eyebrows at her, "Why?"

"No…no. It's just… I mean, don't you remember that Miss Holst resigned because she had to mourn her sibling who died?"

"… Miss Holst?" Levi scrunched his face as he tried to fetch any information about the name from his head.

"Yes, the governess before Hange."

"Ah," Levi exclaimed as he disturbingly realised that Mikasa was talking about the lie that he had made months ago. Miss Holst was 30 years old when she began teaching Mikasa, but three months later she suddenly disappeared from the manor. She left a letter in her room that detailed her reasons. Susan, one of the maids, was the one who brought it to him that early morning.

She stated in that letter that she ran away because she could no longer stand Mikasa. She said that Mikasa creeped her out to the point that she believed that Mikasa was a ghost. She was also scared of the voices that she claimed would sometimes come from the left wing. To tie it all up, in her final statement, she said that she did not want anything to do anymore with their cursed family and nothing would ever bring her back to that manor.

The moment he finished reading it, Levi immediately tore the paper into tiny pieces and threw it into the fireplace. He watched as the paper was quickly engulfed by the fire, leaving only ashes of those horrible words.

When Mikasa asked about the sudden absence of her governess, Levi could not tell her the truth. To be honest, that was not actually his first instance dealing with a governess who complained about Mikasa when they resigned. Therefore, Levi found himself spurting lie after lie every time her governess left. Lies that he told to the servants as well, even though they probably knew the truth.

In Miss Holst's case, Levi told Mikasa that her governess' brother passed away, and since women, especially those in the middle class, who are in the mourning period are discouraged from working, her governess decided to quit her job.

But then this revelation got him thinking as well. He was not sure whether Mikasa's current governess would continue her job here or she would rather choose to resign. She did say she would return, but that did not guarantee anything. She could be doing it as a formality before properly requesting him for her resignation.

"So, what do you think?" Mikasa's voice rang in his head and he was brought back to see the little girl who was slumped in her seat.

"What?"

"Do you still think she will return?"

Levi bit the inside of his cheek before shrugging, "Well, we just have to wait and see."

Mikasa went quiet as she stared emptily at her still-full plate. Both of the corners of her mouth were tilted downward.

"… I like her a lot," Mikasa whispered suddenly, but her whisper was heard clearly by Levi because of the silence in the dining room.

"I know." He tried to be indifferent in his answer by focusing on cutting the meat inside his plate.

"She's a great governess."

"I know."

"I want her to stay with us forever."

Levi stopped his movement and put the utensils neatly on the plate. He glanced at Mikasa who was still rigid in both her posture and expression.

Levi sighed and said, "That's impossible, you know that, right?"

Mikasa didn't answer and Levi let her swallow that bitter pill. The same pill he refused to swallow at first, and because of that, he now had to face the consequences of that action.

I want her to stay with us forever.

That is impossible, he knew that. He had asked her for that after all, but she refused.

However, he realised that Mikasa was a lot better than him because she wished for us and not only for me.

Levi spent the rest of the day in his study, working through many documents that the estate manager had prepared for him. He left the boring and complicated task to the estate manager so all he needed to do was to check and make sure everything was alright.

The previous estate manager who worked with Kenny was an old man whom Levi saw briefly every few months. However, when Levi inherited the estate, that old man had long passed away.

An estate owner doesn't need to hire an estate agent, but Levi saw it as a necessity. After all, he did not accept the inheritance of the estate to do agonizing paperwork for the rest of his life.

Erwin was the one who connected him to the current estate manager, who was a professional middle-aged man. Levi liked the man because he simply only cared for his job and so he never gave Levi any hard time.

When he thought about it, there were a lot of things that he actually owed to Erwin. Levi himself was raised to not bite the hand that feeds him, and so he knew the value of being grateful and the importance of paying someone back.

However, that did not mean he had to excuse everything that Erwin decided to do. For example: when he unannouncedly and uninvitedly arrived at his manor.

Levi stared boringly at the chiselled face of the blond man who sat on the chair across his table with the usual diplomatic smile on his face. A cup of warm tea was put neatly in front of him by Susan who came earlier to prepare it for them.

He arrived when it was already dark outside, which was unusual for him, and this could only mean—

"I just returned from Nedlay," Erwin explained, "And I thought I might as well visit you."

Levi rolled his eyes, "What do you want?"

"Really now. How much should I pay for you to join me in the pleasantries?" he grinned before reaching into the inside pocket of his suit to reveal an envelope. Erwin put the envelope on the table and slid it toward Levi.

Levi took the envelope and noticed that there was nothing stamped or written on it, "What is this?"

"A letter from Hange," Erwin replied casually as he drank the tea that he had—in Levi's opinion—unpleasantly put a mad amount of milk into.

"From her?" Levi could hear his heart beating loudly inside his chest, "For what?"

"For the flower bouquet that you and Mikasa gave to her," Erwin explained coolly, "and for allowing her to take a few more days off."

"Oh," Levi let out a breath as the tension quickly left his body, "I knew you wouldn't come here without any reason." He then put the letter carefully inside his drawer before adding, "This wasn't necessary though."

"Yes, I know. Believe me, I already told her that telegram is more than sufficient for you. However, she said she dislike the restrain of telegram for it tends to be terse, which in her opinion, unfit for expressing her gratitude for both of you and Mikasa." Erwin then made a gesture with his arms as if he were presenting himself, "So, here I am, doing my duty as the messenger boy."

"Alone?"

"Alone." He nodded, "Although, to be honest, I didn't want to leave her so soon after the funeral; but unfortunately, I already have a meeting planned tomorrow, so I have no choice but to return. Luckily my parents will stay with her for several days or even more—it depends on my mother. She… Well, she doesn't look like she wants to leave Hange or Nedlay anytime soon."

"I see…"

"By the way," Erwin gently put his cup back on the saucer, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the funeral in advance. I mean, even I received the news on such very short notice, so I barely had time to think about anything else. At that time, I just assumed Hange had already told you."

"No, that's okay," Levi replied, "More importantly, how was she?"

"She… Well, she seemed to be holding it better than the time her father died, but knowing her, I know it broke her the same."

An image of her standing alone in front of her parents' grave flashed before Levi's eyes. Levi quickly blinked the image away, but unfortunately, he could not blink the pain away from his chest.

"Erwin," Levi lowered his voice, "Why didn't you tell me about her mother's condition?"

There wasn't even a slight shift of emotions in Erwin's expression, as if he already expecting the question would come from Levi's mouth.

"Before I recommend her to you, she gave me one condition, and that was to not tell you anything about her mother."

Levi furrowed his brows, "Why not?"

"I guess she wanted to prove that her intelligence is more than enough for you to hire him."

"As opposed to what? I'm hiring her because I pity her mother's condition?"

Erwin smiled, but it was a smile that was tainted with a hint of sadness. He leaned back on the chair and said, "I've met with hundreds of people with specialities in their respective professions, but she is by far still the brightest person I've ever met."

When Levi was in school, his definition of genius was Erwin Smith. Therefore, to have someone like him describe this governess in such a way, Levi could tell she was truly extraordinary.

However, even without Erwin telling him that, he could already tell it by himself.

"Well, she's very smart for a governess…" Levi murmured, "Too smart, perhaps."

"Exactly, she's far too smart to become a governess, and I think she knows that. But she is also aware of her limitations in life, so she tries to maximise what she can do. So, I guess all she ever wants is for the family that hired her to acknowledge her excellence as a governess to their children. Sadly, that is not always the case." Erwin crossed his arms and frowned, "I always think that it was so cruel that she had to be born as a girl. Could you imagine all the things that she could have accomplished otherwise?"

Levi sighed, "Well, life is not fair."

"Yeah… Although her father would beg to differ." There was a small smile on Erwin's face when he spoke. "He fully believed that his daughter would undoubtedly defy all odds."

Levi raised his eyebrows, quite taken aback that Erwin would bring him up in their conversation. "Her father… How was he like?" Levi asked.

"He was quite the eccentric, but he was also very funny and gentle, which is why it would throw you off once you saw him working in court."

"Ah right, he was a court lawyer like you… A barrister?"

"Oh, so you do listen to me after all, Levi," Erwin chuckled and pulled himself forward from his leaning position on the chair, "Yes, he was a barrister, a prosecutor to be exact."

"And you studied under him, right?"

Erwin nodded, "Yes, for around a year before he sadly passed away." He then grabbed a teapot in the middle of the table and poured himself another cup of tea.

Levi tapped his index finger on the table as he rolled his question in his mind. He wasn't sure whether he should ask about it or not, but in the end, he eventually asked, "…Is it true that her father was possibly murdered?"

Erwin stopped his hand from stirring the sugar in his tea, he narrowed his eyes at Levi, "Did Hange tell you that?"

Levi took his cup and twirled the brown liquid a little, "Yeah."

Erwin pressed his lips together for a minute, as if to weigh his options, before he finally said, "I can't say for sure… The court ruled the fire as an accident, but I do believe the slight chance that it was a premeditated murder."

Levi drank his tea—which had become cold—in silence but his eyes did not leave Erwin, even for one second, as he patiently waited for him to continue.

"Her father was known as a very vicious prosecutor. You might not believe me, but I was genuinely scared when I saw him in the court for the first time. He was determined and confident and on top of all that, he was a very honest man, which was pretty much a suicide for a barrister as it would make you quite a list of enemies." Erwin explained as he put another drop of milk into his tea. "Many believed he made himself a dead man when he took the case about the underground mafia in Mitras, and it's hard to not believe that when you learned that he died in his office with some of his staff, burned alongside the mountain of evidence for the case."

"…Shit."

"I know… But that's just how this job is going to be."

"You knew about this and still went on to become one?"

"Why do you think people still commit crimes despite knowing that they could pretty much get caught?"

Levi rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I asked the wrong question."

Erwin let out a dry laugh before he finally explained, "Well, unlike the late Mr Zoë who worked in the government's prosecutors' agency, I'm more of a self-employed barrister. Therefore, I usually only received requests from solicitors to represent someone in court. So, I don't really involve myself with our government or being responsible in declaring someone as guilty."

"Which means?"

"Which means it's safe to say I have fewer enemies than the late Mr Zoë."

"You are safe, then?"

"I didn't say that."

"Huh..." Levi remarked impassively, "And here I thought you were always able to turn everything in your favour?"

"You seem to overestimate my ability," Erwin grinned as he folded his hands together, "Just so you know, Levi, people will do anything to bend the law to their side."

"What? Is this your last word?"

"Maybe?" Erwin tittered, "But don't worry, I'm not planning on dying so soon. At least not until I see you walk down your cousin down the aisle."

Levi clicked his tongue, "Now that's ridiculous."

"That's your reality, Levi. Be ready."

"Shut up," Levi hissed before he took another gulp from his tea.

"Fine," Erwin said playfully before he lowered his voice to a more serious one as he asked, "Speaking of your cousin, how was she?"

Levi glanced away from Erwin and toward the cold fireplace in his study.

"She's fine," Levi mumbled and hung his words for a few seconds before he continued, "I finally spoke to her, and she seemed to have forgiven me."

He could see the glint appearing in Erwin's eyes as he cheered, "Hey, that's great."

"It's all thanks to you and Miche."

"Now, now, do not discredit yourself," Erwin interjected, "All we did was give you some suggestions. You were the one who eventually decided to do the right thing."

"The right thing…" Levi sighed and leaned back on his leather chair, "I hope so."

This of course piqued Erwin's interest as he immediately rested his elbows on the table and asked, "Whatever happened with your cousin?"

"I'm not sure…" Levi let out an exasperated sigh. "She had been acting weird since, you know, our talk."

"Weird as in?"

"As in she reverted to the same girl that I took in two years ago. I mean, not quite the same, but I don't know. I'm confused. I just—I don't understand why she is suddenly regressing?"

"Well, I don't think you can fully recover from an incident like that so easily, especially not when you are a child."

"… I know."

"This might be useless for me to say, but try to not worry too much, Levi." Erwin spoke the words delicately, "It won't get you anywhere."

"It is useless," Levi quipped, "But thanks."

Erwin smiled, "Just make sure you always keep an eye on her, okay? She's in the safe hands now. She has you, after all."

Levi took a deep breath and grumbled, "Yeah."

"Anyway, now that we are on this topic. I suppose you haven't told Hange about Mikasa's condition?"

"Yeah no… I haven't." Levi said dejectedly. "Though in my defence, the governess' presence seemed to improve her condition considerably. In fact, she has begun to sleep on her own for quite some time now. Which I think is a huge improvement for her, so I don't see the need for the governess to know."

Erwin's blue eyes stared intently at Levi, "…Who do you think I am, Levi? I know the real reason why you kept your silence."

"You are a piece of shit, you know that?"

Erwin shrugged impishly, "Well, I can't blame you though for not telling her as I can see that your cousin is attached to her."

Levi pressed his lips together as he lowered his head to look at the pattern in his cup. Memories of the past few years began flooding his senses. He sighed, "For your information, in just the span of two years, I've hired at least eight governesses, and she is the first-ever governess that managed to stay here more than 4 months."

Erwin nodded happily, "She is one of a kind, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, she's more knowledgeable with a pre-adolescent girl than me, that's for sure," Levi remarked wryly.

Erwin sneered before saying, "You know, telling her the truth won't make her leave. She will understand, I'm sure of it. She adores and cares deeply for your cousin."

"Yeah… I know," Levi replied. Truly, he knew that despite only knowing each other for five months, Mikasa and Hange had already become inseparable. But of course, there was still a tiny bit of worry in him.

However, it did not matter whether he ended up telling her or not since she would still quit by the next spring. So, he really should not have overthink it.

"By the way," Erwin spoke with a strained voice and a little bit of reluctance before he eventually continued, "There's still an issue between you and her, right."

Levi groaned as he closed his eyes with his palm, "Don't remind me…"

"I had been thinking about it…" Erwin trailed his words and Levi noticed there was a frown on Erwin's face when he said, "…and I guess it's partially mine and Miche's fault too."

"Really?" Levi raised both his eyebrows, "Well isn't that great? Now I don't feel alone."

"Though, could you really blame us?" Erwin smiled apologetically, "You've never shown any interest to any ladies that you've met before, so for a long time we thought you were… you know… like men instead. Not that we would judge—no, we would not."

"For fuck sake, Erwin. We are not having this conversation," Levi quickly interjected as he crossed his arms in annoyance.

"Okay, I'm just jesting, alright." He laughed, "Anyway, we are sorry, really sorry, but we couldn't help but notice your attraction to her. It was like a once-in-a-lifetime experience to see you being so swooned by someone. We wanted to support you, but on the other hand, we were also worried, you know, with you two living under the same roof, we don't want anything bad to happen to her."

"...Do you really think I'm that kind of a person?"

"No, of course not, that's why I put her under your care after all." He raised both of his hands, "But I feel you have to be reminded of how vulnerable her position is compared to you. I just… I just don't want her to be hurt by the end of it all. I feel responsible since I was the one who put her in this job after all."

Levi had known Erwin for quite a long time so he knew that there were two sides to Erwin. The first side is the charismatic stoic man that you would not wish to become your enemy. The second side is the vulnerable man that he could not hide when he came across certain people, just like what he did right now when he talked about that governess.

"Don't worry," Levi said calmly and reassuringly, "I will never disrespect her."

"I know, I believe in you," Erwin smiled at him, "But still, thank you, Levi."

After a few more exchanges between them, Levi looked at his pocket watch and noticed that it was almost time for dinner. He told Erwin to stay for a meal, but Erwin said he had a train to catch so he should get going now.

He bid farewell to him and Mikasa before he eventually departed the manor.

The very next morning, Levi once again arrived at the dining room without Mikasa in sight. For her to be late two mornings in a row was truly odd for Levi. Therefore, Levi made it his business to check on her.

Once he arrived at her door, he knocked twice, and it was quickly opened by none other than Nifa.

"Mr Levi!" Nifa exclaimed before quickly lowering her voice and letting him inside, "Good morning, sir. I thought you were already gone, sir."

"Morning, Nifa," Levi quickly greeted as he went inside and glanced at the bed. There he saw a silhouette of someone being tucked under the thick sheet of the duvet.

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't seem to wake Miss Mikasa up," Nifa whispered, "I tried everything, but she clearly doesn't want to be roused."

"Leave her be, then," Levi answered, "She probably didn't sleep a blink last night."

"You think so too, sir?

"Yeah, that's the only plausible explanation for this."

Nifa seemed to be troubled before she asked, "Should we be concerned, sir?"

For Levi, he was already beyond concerned for her, but even he was still not sure whether his worry was justified. So, he told Nifa, "Let's just keep a close eye on her."

"Right, sir."

"Who knows, maybe she is just missing her governess," Levi remarked good-naturedly. To comfort Nifa, surely, but maybe to comfort himself as well.

Nifa nodded and smiled, "Yes, that could be."

"Alright then, I'll leave her to you, Nifa," Levi said as he turned back toward the door. "Please make sure she doesn't skip her lunch too."

"Very well, sir."

When it was time for lunch, Levi once again went to the dining room, but this time, he came across the familiar presence of a girl. He was quite surprised, though not as surprised as the girl herself.

"Levi?!" Mikasa yelled at him. "Why are you here?"

Levi raised one of his eyebrows, "That's a weird question. Why can't I be here? This is my estate."

"That's not what I meant." Mikasa curiously followed his movement as he settled into the head dining chair. "Shouldn't you be in Mitras by now?"

"Should I?"

"Yes!"

"Well, unfortunately for you, I have to stay here for a while," Levi said as he put the napkin on his lap.

"Why?"

Why? Levi of course couldn't say that he stayed because he was worried for her. He was not worried, obviously, but Erwin's words from last night were stuck in his ear. Not only that, when he saw her lifeless body trying to chow down dinner last night, he realised that something was very wrong with her.

Therefore, as a responsible guardian of his little cousin, he of course could not leave her alone in the manor.

"Levi?"

"Why do you care?" Levi replied curtly while he stirred the warm soup in front of him.

"Levi…" Mikasa called again, and this time, he could hear the desperate exhaustion coming from her. Levi was not sure, but he also noticed a hint of hope in her voice.

Levi sighed, "Listen, as much it bothered you to have me here, it annoyed me also that I have to stay here and work on these boring estate businesses and documents while also having to deal with a brat like you."

It was not a lie precisely since he did have to manage some of the documents regarding the estate and all its tenants. Most of it was already done by his estate manager though, so he could've finished it all in one day, but he didn't tell Mikasa that.

"Oh," Her expression fell back to her usual emotionless one, "Okay."

The quiet that followed was so heavy, but Levi did not feel bothered by that. What bothered him was the subtle disappointment that was apparent on her face when she heard his answer.

He suddenly wanted to apologise to her, but he was not sure for what. He did not understand what part of his answer that might have made her feel upset. He cursed himself as he realised he had just unknowingly and stupidly wasted the progress that they had made a few days ago.

Levi cleared his throat as he casually grabbed his glass of water while asking, "Did you have trouble sleeping last night?"

"I thought you didn't want to deal with a brat like me?"

"Fuck," Levi groaned, "Oh my god, just answer the damn question!"

Mikasa shrugged as she tore a piece of bread apart, "No, nothing of some sort."

"Mikasa," He suddenly lowered his voice and it successfully made Mikasa's attention go fully toward him. "Be honest. Did it come back?"

"What…?" Mikasa asked before she realised what he meant, "Oh… No."

The way she averted her gaze away was enough proof for Levi that she was bluffing.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Mikasa nodded as she continued to tear the bread apart into little pieces. "I was just tired from reading a book until very late last night."

He knew she was still lying, but the way her eyes drooped, and her fingers trembled when she held that bread, Levi knew it would not be wise to press on her. So instead he told her, "I think that's one of the things from your governess that you shouldn't copy."

Mikasa didn't reply and in its place, she spooned her soup and ate a piece of her bread in silence.

"What? You miss her, already?" He said intending to tease her, but it sounded more intimidating than he expected. So, when she didn't reply, Levi chose to leave it that way and continued to eat his meal.

The sounds that were left in that dining room were only the sound of utensils and Levi thought that it would stay like that until the end of the meal, but he was quickly proven wrong.

"… I've been thinking," Mikasa was the one who broke the silence, much to Levi's surprise.

Levi halted his spoon from getting into his mouth and asked, "Thinking?"

"Hange… She always knows how to make me feel better every time. But now I realise that I can't think of anything to ease her pain. I don't know what I should say to her once she comes back to the manor."

Levi put his spoon back in his bowl and said, "She didn't say all of that nice stuff so you can one day say it back to her, you know?"

Mikasa looked at Levi with her dark grey eyes and for a moment, Levi could see the slight quiver on her lips.

"You don't need to bother with stuff like that. You're still a kid, you know that?"

"I'm… I'm not!" Mikasa slightly raised her voice.

"Whatever you said, you are still a kid," Levi raised his voice too, but only a little, "Which is why I think Nifa should stay in your room again, starting from this night!"

"What?!" Mikasa whined, "No! I don't want to."

"You have to."

"Please, no, Levi! I don't want to bother Nifa! She already has enough responsibilities to take care of me throughout the day! Please!" Mikasa exclaimed but her expression made it feel like she was begging for her life in front of him. Levi could not help but feel bad for suggesting it as he also knew that he had troubled Nifa enough.

He could pretty much ignore her and arrange it by himself. Nifa was more than willing to do it and he too paid her a good amount for her extra work. However, he did not have the energy left inside him to argue with her, and he also did not want it to end up in a fight.

Levi took a deep breath and sighed, "Fine. But only on one condition: if it came back, then you have to tell me right at once."

A small smile bloomed on her face, "Okay, I will."

But, of course, Levi knew that she would not do that. So, in the end, Levi would come every few hours at night to check on her. To make sure that it didn't return like he feared.

As Levi carefully guarded the sleeping figure of her little cousin in her room, Levi quickly realised that despite what he tried to tell himself, he could not deny how Mikasa had now taken precedence over anything in his life.

-Chapter 18 End-

Chapter End Notes

Thank you all for reading! More chapters to come! See you on the next chapter!
If you want to know about the progress regarding this story, you can check my writing side blog on tumblr (bluemallow-log)
You can also visit me on my tumblr main blog (spilledsinnamontea) and on my twitter(spilledsinnamon)

My thoughts:
We are back with Levi yeah! Tbh, I found his POV to be much harder to write than Hange. But I did enjoy the process a lot, especially when I got to write about his interaction with Erwin and Mikasa in this chapter. However Erwin did provide me with an additional challenge. He's quite hard to write tbh, I was worried I could not portray his character accurately. He was a delight to write with Levi though XD