"So, am I the only one that is both pissed off and incredibly confused?"
Tonks received a couple mutterings of agreement, but Sirius lacked the energy to engage with them. He stood over the sink staring at his hands as they gripped the porcelain. While fairly certain that Moony was hovering by his shoulder, he didn't fully have the capacity to check. In fact, Sirius wasn't entirely sure where anyone was located in the room, vision blurred and sound oddly muffled as if underwater.
He knew that he must be distressing Moony, who always stated that a still Sirius was a worrying Sirius. He should move. He should say something. After all, they were talking about Harry behind him, he was sure of it.
Harry.
His Harry. His godson.
That boy was the only reason Sirius was able to step back into Grimmuald, the godforsaken mausoleum of childhood nightmares. And, honestly, Sirius was never quiet when they were talking about Harry. And yet, here he was – frozen. His body wasn't listening, wasn't moving, wasn't speaking.
"Padfoot?" Moony.
Okay. Sirius took a breath in and felt the hand tighten on his shoulder. Okay. So, he wasn't so out of it that he had lost track of Remus. That was good. Reassuring.
"Padfoot."
Remus was expecting a response. Just needed to move a hand. Say a word. Let him know that Sirius was listening.
"Padfoot!"
Oh, the hand was much tighter now. Did it hurt? Sirius couldn't quite tell.
"Sirius."
No more nicknames. Not a good sign. Moony was definitely moving closer to panic than concern. Sirius needed to respond. Needed to make his damn mouth move. Why couldn't he...
Sirius flinched back violently into Remus's arms, blinking as water dripped down his face. His eyes darted until they focused on the bright spot in front of him – Tonks, with an empty glass, smiling sadly with a small quirk of her lip. She gave a slight shrug with her shoulder in apology.
Moony's grip tightened on his arms, pushing him gently to stand up straight. "You back with us?"
he whispered into Sirius' ear.
All Sirius could do was stare back at Tonks who was still in front of him, glass in hand. She was taller this evening, and Sirius was hit once again with how much older she was, a fully-fledged adult. Just like Remus, with his grey hair and tired eyes. Just like the other Order members. Just like Harry –
Harry.
His Harry.
His godson.
Sirius could feel his knees creak as he straightened and spun towards Remus, who merely shifted his hand and raised an eyebrow.
"Harry."
Remus's face cycled through a myriad of emotions and Sirius had to focus to catalog as many of
them as possible – anger, grief, frustration, guilt. And then nothing, just a mask.
"Yes," Remus spoke calmly, hand rubbing Sirius's shoulder now. "We are about to discuss what the kids told us. Thought you'd like to be a part of the conversation?"
No shit he wanted to be part of this conversation.
Remus's hand never left its perch on Sirius's shoulder, even as he cast a quick charm to dry Sirius's hair. Tonks shuffled past them with minimal maneuvering, leading their way back to the table and the rest of the Order members stationed around it.
Without meaning to, Sirius sought out Molly across the room. No one is this room loved Harry more than Sirius himself. It simply was not possible. But even he had to admit that Molly was next on the list, even if it was a distant second. She may not approve of him in any way, and he may find her to be the most infuriating woman he'd ever met, but she had opened her home to Harry, consoled him after the maze, gave the boy food and shelter and love every summer. If there was ever a topic where these two diametrically opposed individuals could converge, it was this one.
"You didn't know." Sirius stated, careless of the fact that he was definitely interrupting someone else at the table. Molly's attention locked on him.
"No," she replied, shoulders rolled back in a fashion much like her daughter's had been just minutes ago. "If I had, that foul woman would no longer be breathing much less teaching."
She spoke evenly, but she meant it, Sirius could tell. Molly had been a Gryffindor after all – her kids had learned how to protect their own from someone. His responding smile was definitely more smirk than grin, but he thought the Molly could appreciate the hysteria behind it this time. Kind recognizes kind.
Suspicions confirmed, Sirius turned to the rest of the group. "And the rest of you? Harry's guard. None of you had any idea this was happening?"
Frustrated mumbles broke out, quickly covered by Tonks' loud and frustrated response. "Lay off Sirius, of course we didn't. We aren't in the castle with them, are we?"
"Not good enough," Sirius bit out, hackles raising.
"Sirius, leave it."
And Remus simply sounded far too composed for the situation. which never failed to make Sirius's frustration spike. Especially for a situation as horrible as this, one about James' boy, about their kid. Sirius was inclined to smack that reserved mask right off his face, but settled with a terse, "It was Umbridge, Moony."
"I heard what Ron said just fine, thank you." "Moony – "
"Okay!" Bill shouted. "Okay, none of us knew, we are all rightfully angry, but none of this is helping Harry. We're doing exactly what Ginny and the others said. Now that we know he's being hurt, what do we do about it?"
The silence was rather deafening. Bill slouched back down in his seat. "Well, this is reassuring. What a fine lot we make."
"He's supposed to be safe there," Emmeline replied. "That's the whole point, right? Get him to Hogwarts where he'll be safe." She rubbed her eyes, elbows resting on the table. "Oh, I can just hear Lily yelling at me right now."
Remus hummed an acknowledgment. Sirius couldn't handle that, hearing Lily referred to so casually as they talked about her son who they had, once again, not managed to protect. Besides Remus, so few people ever brought her up that he had almost forgotten that Emmeline and Lily had been friendly at school. That someone besides him and Moony might be able to grasp this additional layer of guilt coating the conversation.
After an awkward pause, Bill continued on. "So, she's not here – sorry, sorry, no offense, sorry – just," he sighed, "it's just that, we need to handle this right or none of them will trust us again, you know? This is our one chance." He looked nervously across at Sirius again as he added, "And, honestly, I'm a little worried it's not just about the quill."
Sirius redirected his focus, pushing Lily to the back of his mind as well as he could. "Explain." Shoulders heaved with another sigh. "I work with this witch, Fleur –"
"The Beauxbaton's Triwizard champion?" Remus interrupted.
Bill's cheeks turned pink. "Uhm, well, yes. She was."
"I see." Remus said with a small smirk.
With a roll of his eyes, Bill carried on. "Whatever, mate. Look, she spent a lot of time with Harry last year because of the tournament and after he used all that 'moral fiber' of his to rescue her sister from the lake she's had a bit of a soft spot for him." Bill sent Sirius a small grin, "It seems to be a Harry thing, that. Winning over people with a huge grand act of kindness that he doesn't even notice he's done."
The smile that made its way to his face felt a bit more natural this time. Sirius knew he regularly compared his godson to the boy's parents, looking for bits of Lily and James in his actions. But he could appreciate that this? This bit was all Harry. Generous to a fault, his kiddo.
"Right, well, Fleur keeps asking about him. Nothing weird Mad-Eye, keep your hat on."
"You need to stay –"
" – constantly vigilant, yes, we know. Let the man finish you loon."
"Anyway!" Bill eyed Moody warningly. "She knows Ron and Harry are mates and that Ron's my brother, so she asks after them. And, well, sometimes she asks just normal questions but sometimes she'll ask me if he's, like, eating alright?" He shrugged then, sounding a bit confused. "Fleur is incredibly observant, it's why the goblins hired her. And I have to say, some of the things that she's pointed out are...concerning. I just, I think there is more going on with Harry, and his family, and the school, and, well, if we don't handle this blood quill thing we can just kiss goodbye the chance that we will ever be able to learn about any of those other things, ya'know?"
Molly was clearly in agreement with her son. "This Fleur isn't wrong. I do worry about his eating habits as well. The poor dear is just so incredibly skinny. And, truthfully, I've never liked those muggle relatives of his." Molly turned to Sirius as she spoke. "What do you think? Because I'm not letting our kids leave this house until we have a solution."
Ah, there it was. "Our kids." Common ground.
Sirius nodded his head. "Agreed. Let's," he swallowed, lowering himself into a chair. "Let's recap what we know? Start there, lay out all the pieces of information we have?" Merlin, but everyone was looking at him. Seriously looking at him, following his lead. It had been some time since anyone had looked to him for leadership. He chanced a glance up at Moony, searching for some reassurance, only to find the man's amber eyes already glued to him.
"That sounds like a logical first step, Sirius."
"Okay, then, okay." Sirius turned towards Molly. "Do you want to –"
He broke off abruptly as a patronus floated into the room, Arthur's voice floating calmly into the space.
"Sirius. Remus. Harry would like to speak to you both upstairs. Molly, I could use a hand if you could come up as well."
The patronus fizzled out while Molly quickly abandoned her post and made her way up the steps. Sirius too found his feet, stumbling with the movement.
"Go," Bill said as Remus steadied Sirius. "I'll get us started down here and have Mum and Dad help when they get down."