Author's Note: This fic can stand alone, but I imagined it as part of "The Devil's Double" AU. The story takes place after the main story but before the epilogue.

For new readers, Kaiji = The Second One for All user and Sanzou = The Third One for All user.

"My very first arrest, and it's because the police mistook me for my brother," Yoichi moaned. "This is outrageous!" He was currently sitting in the backseat of a police car, sandwiched close to Kaiji. The police had their sirens on and were speeding faster than Yoichi had ever driven before. It felt a bit exciting. Yoichi tested the handcuffs on his wrists. They were a new design, made of a sturdier alloy with thicker metal. These cuffs had been specially designed to restrain metahumans. Yoichi had learned a few tricks to get out of handcuffs, but he would not be able to Houdini his way out of these.

Just fifteen minutes ago, Yoichi had been impersonating his brother, All for One, at a metahuman rights rally. The vigilantes had heard rumors that All for One planned to stir up violence at the rally for his own selfish agenda, creating more chaos he could then pretend to stop. Yoichi had dressed up in All for One's black coat to give a pacifying speech and confuse any hired saboteurs into leaving. Then the police had shown up to arrest All for One. Although Yoichi had considered fighting back, that would have defeated the entire purpose of preventing violence. He'd wanted to protect the protestors. So he'd gone quietly. Kaiji had been playing the part of Yoichi's bodyguard, so he'd been taken as well. By mutual agreement, Sanzou had slipped off and blended in with the crowd at the first sound of sirens. They needed someone on the outside to save them.

Yoichi's very first arrest! He squirmed excitedly in his seat. It was a proper adventure. Certainly a milestone in his new vigilante career. This would give him serious bragging rights.

In the adjacent seat, Kaiji sat still as a stone. A muscle clenched in his jaw, twisting the scar across his face. As the leader of the vigilante group Sunrise, Kaiji had clashed with the police many times before. He'd probably been arrested before too, since he'd been whispering instructions to Yoichi while the police cuffed them. Why did Kaiji look more nervous than Yoichi despite his greater experience? They both knew Sanzou, Kaiji's trusted righthand man and their mutual lover, would be along to rescue them.

Looking out the window, Yoichi said, "A real police car, how exciting! I briefly wanted to be a police officer as a child, but their behavior when the first riots broke out quickly cured me of that notion. My hero, should we tell the police that I'm not my bro—?"

"Shhhhhh," Kaiji interrupted, bumping Yoichi with his shoulder. "Keep it down, and no." Leaning close, he whispered into Yoichi's ear, "The officers are only treating us with kid gloves because they're scared of All for One. They know he could break out easily, so they're wondering what he's scheming. Some higher up idiot forced the disposable underlings to arrest us. They don't want to be here."

"Yeah, I got that impression," Yoichi whispered. The police had been oddly polite while making the arrest. The one who'd cuffed Yoichi had dropped the handcuffs twice due to shaking fingers.

In a low voice, Kaiji growled, "You don't want to see how they'd treat common metahuman prisoners."

Oh. Maybe Kaiji was nervous precisely because he'd been arrested before, and not handled nearly so politely by the police. Yoichi felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. Between his parents' abuse and neglect, being orphaned at a young age, and nearly dying in the first metahuman riot, Yoichi would not say that he'd led a sheltered life. But he'd been born into a well-off family, then later sheltered by a powerful villain brother. Compared to his hero, he'd always had a certain degree of protection.

Yoichi pressed a kiss to Kaiji's cheek, an apology that he would speak out loud later and in private. Then he settled back in his seat and tried to look stern and All for One-like.

After they pulled up to the police station for booking, a police officer opened the car door for Yoichi. "Right this way, sir." He sounded more like a chauffeur than an arresting officer. Sweat dripped down his bald pate. He kept his eyes lowered.

"Why, thank you, whatever your name is." Yoichi adopted his brother's haughty and slightly teasing tone as he stepped out of the car.

The officer sweated even harder. "I'm no one, absolutely no one." The man completely ignored Kaiji, giving Yoichi incentive to keep up this act and keep the pressure off his lover.

During the booking process, the officers brought Yoichi cold drinks and fanned him. They even apologized before dipping his fingers in ink to take his prints. When Yoichi held up his letter board and got his mugshot picture taken, he smiled and winked at the camera. The police photographer fainted dead away.

Yoichi was sincerely in a good mood, imagining how embarrassed his brother would be at having a police mugshot floating around. Around the station, numerous police officers loudly took phone calls, then insisted they had to leave because of various personal crises. A braver officer took the camera from the fallen photographer and snapped a mugshot of Kaiji. Throughout it all, Kaiji glared at the camera.

As their arresting officer led them to a holding cell, he looked as if he was walking to his own execution. After slamming and locking the door, he ran away.

Footsteps faded down the hallway, followed by the front door slamming as the officer ran out of the building. Yoichi said, "This place doesn't look nearly strong enough to hold All for One."

"They know, that's why they're terrified," Kaiji said. "They never expected to actually capture him. At best, they hoped he'd give them a bit of face by leaving without killing anyone in order to look good in front of the protesters. I imagine they'll move us to a more secure location as soon as possible. Probably a military facility."

Sanzou strolled into the station. Winking, he said, "They're already out of time to move you."

"My hero!" Yoichi waved his bound hands in the air. "Once I get free, I'm giving you a big kiss."

"That was faster than expected," Kaiji said. "Good work."

Sanzou snorted. "I don't deserve your praise. This police station is completely deserted. Every single person called in sick at the same time. I'd prepared a cover story to get in here. It was completely unneeded. The police are quite literally begging someone to break you out so they don't have to deal with you."

"Understandable," Yoichi murmured. The real All for One would have turned this station into a slaughterhouse by now. Actually, Yoichi was a lot more worried about All for One realizing where to find his foolish little brother than the police or even the military.

Sanzou bent the bars with Fa Jin. "Come on, we'll figure out how to get the cuffs off you later."

Fortunately, the keys had been left hanging on the wall. As they exited into the sunlight, Yoichi decided being arrested was much more boring than his daydreams. At least they got to steal a police car.

The next time Yoichi got arrested, he looked like his usual sloppy self with his shoulder-length white hair, a ragged white shirt, and jeans. As a consequence, the officer was much less polite. "Where are you going?" the muscular man demanded, flanked by his skinnier partner.

"No sir this time," Yoichi hissed to Kaiji. "In a civil society, police ought to treat everyone equally. No special treatment for supervillains." He glared at the officers. "Give me one reason why you stopped me, besides my looking metahuman."

"Are you?" the skinnier officer asked, reaching for his weapon.

Kaiji shot a sphere from his gauntlets, knocking the hand away. Then he grabbed Yoichi and hissed, "Run!"

Yoichi's shopping bag, full of valuable hair care products, fell to the ground. He squawked. Unfortunately, they ran straight into another group of a dozen police officers getting beer together. From there, it did not seem politic to start a fight.

"What, is today a police officer reunion?" Yoichi complained as he was shoved against the car and cuffed.

The booking this time did not involve any cold drinks or apologies. Yoichi still posed for his mugshot, holding up the letter board next to his face and grinning. This was his first arrest as himself, not his brother, and thus a special occasion. Once again, Kaiji looked distinctly less happy in his picture.

As the officers dragged them off, Yoichi whispered, "We should celebrate my first real arrest. I know we had a nice dinner last time, but that was for All for One's first arrest, not mine."

Kaiji grumbled, "I'd only been arrested once before I met you, and now it's happened twice in a month."

Apparently common meta humans did not rank their own special cell. They were locked up with half a dozen others. All but one had unusual hair and eye colors. The last one had no hair but instead reptilian blue scales.

Looking over Yoichi and Kaiji, the reptile mutant grunted. "You're metahumans too? The police are having a roundup. We think it's an excuse to get us off the streets before the election tomorrow."

"Votor suppression! That's just dirty!" Yoichi stood up straight. "We won't let them get away with this. Sunrise has plans to protect the polls tomorrow."

Kaiji glanced at the empty hallway and moaned, "Don't talk about vigilante business, there might be cameras."

"You're vigilantes?" A giant man with a bright orange mohawk looked over with interest. "I haven't seen Sunrise's symbol in the graffiti lately."

"We're keeping a low profile, but we've gathered to protect the election." Yoichi winked. "We're seeking recruits to help us."

The others gathered around him, chattering and complaining about the police. One of them wasn't even a metahuman, but was equally fed up. They all wanted to help.

When Sanzou arrived wearing a police uniform, Yoichi waved and said, "Hey, I got some new recruits for us!" Turning to the others, he said, "This is my hero, breaking me out of unfair confinement for the third time now. Twice from the police, once from a bank vault. The vault is a long story."

"Shhh." Sanzou unlocked the door. "I'm pretended to be transferring you. Some of the others are in uniforms waiting outside."

Kaiji nodded. "The uniforms, badges, and police car we stole last time sure came in handy."

Yoichi asked, "Can we take my new friends?"

"Of course you've acquired strays." Sanzou snorted. "Of course we're taking them." He turned to the prisoners. "One of our people has an ability to obscure memories and another can hack into anything electronic. We'll make sure no one even remembers you were here."

A cheer went up, before dying down as Sanzou waved for silence. They followed him out of the cell like a row of ducklings.

Yoichi considered the new recruits almost worth the loss of his shopping.

The police officer barked, "You're under arrest on the suspicion of working for Sunrise." She had her radio out and her other hand resting on her gun. Police in Japan didn't used to carry or commonly use firearms, but that had changed after the Metahuman Riots.

"That's just rude," Yoichi addressed Kaiji. "Just because I'm spraying Sunrise's symbol on this abandoned building, she assumes we're members of Sunrise." He waved his can of paint.

Kaiji pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't even want to be here. You're the one who insisted we needed to spread our symbol more so people knew we still—" He looked at the officer, then ended his sentence. Holding out his hands for cuffs, he muttered, "I should have stayed home with Sanzou. He knew this was a bad idea."

"We didn't tell Sanzou when we left, how could he have known?" Yoichi disagreed as he was cuffed too.

While the officer pushed him into the car, Kaiji muttered, "We didn't tell him because we knew he'd stop us."

In truth, the two of them could have easily run away faster than an ordinary officer could catch them. But during their graffiti adventure, they'd encountered a homeless child with a bear mutation hiding in the dumpsters just out of sight of the officer. They'd given the little girl some money, then had been about to guide her to a shelter when the officer pulled over. They'd barely hidden the girl in time. If they started a fuss and more police arrived, the child would surely be discovered.

Yoichi felt confident they could escape again on their own. After all, they'd broken out of jail twice already.

This time, Sanzou didn't show up right away. After Yoichi's third mugshot, the police officer took them to a windowless room for an interrogation. At least this part was a little new.

"I think it's very discriminatory for you to assume I'm metahuman because of my hair," Yoichi said. "It could be dyed." Part of it was, actually. Today, he had orange streaks in his white locks. "My white pupils are harder to explain, but what if I'm wearing contact lenses?"

Next to him, Kaiji sat silent and still as a rock. It was unusual to interrogate two suspects together but Yoichi suspected he'd been brought in because Kaiji wouldn't talk.

"You weren't arrested for being metahuman." The officer glared. "You were arrested for graffiti."

"That's what you police have to say these days. Our new prime minister has proclaimed a new era of peace and cooperation with metahumans." Yoichi rolled his eyes. "I think we both know you still profile people, though. Who did you vote for? Most police voted for the other guy. Though frankly, I haven't been as impressed with the new prime minister as I'd hoped. I realize change takes time but appeasement is apparently easy—"

The police officer cleared her throat. "We were discussing your contacts with Sunrise."

Yoichi leaned back in his chair. An inkling of a mischievous idea formed. "I have no contact with metahumans. I stay away from those dangerous types ever since that one meta kidnapped me and locked me in a bank vault. Hey, maybe you'd be interested in hearing more about him?"

"A…vault?" the officer asked uncertainly, wrinkling her nose as if she suspected she was being mocked but couldn't tell how.

Kaiji remained quiet, but he turned to glare at Yoichi. Silent sarcasm filled the room. He looked cute when grumpy, though he'd be angry if he knew Yoichi was thinking that.

"Yes, a person-sized bank vault. Who knows what goes on in the twisted brain of a meta freak? It was a terrifying experience." Yoichi smiled and batted his eyelashes. "I'm nothing but an ordinary law-abiding citizen, but I could tell you some rumors I've heard. Rumors about a mysterious figure called All for One."

From her blank look, this officer didn't know the name. It was an open secret among authorities. She looked young, maybe she was new.

Kaiji kicked Yoichi's chair and hissed, "Shut up. Do not talk to police. This is not a game. You're not manipulating the cops to go after your brother instead."

"It's worth a try," Yoichi whispered.

"No muttering," the officer said loudly.

Yoichi fed her some recent intel about All for One. He doubted the information would ever be used, much less used effectively. But if he could cause his brother even a tiny bit of inconvenience, then this arrest would be worth it.

When they were tossed into a very familiar holding cell, Sanzou already sat on the bench inside.

Yoichi moaned and clutched his hair. "Oh no, you were supposed to rescue us again! What do we do now?"

"I'm here to rescue you." Sanzou lifted up the side of his jacket to reveal lockpicks. "I got myself arrested on a loitering charge to sneak in these. The cops don't bother to search random metahumans they grab on trumped-up charges very carefully."

"That's my hero." Yoichi planted a big, wet kiss on Sanzou's lips.

They escaped quickly enough to find the little bear girl where they'd left her, and take her to a shelter friendly to metahumans.

Standing on top of a mountain of cinders, Yoichi held a flamethrower. He smiled winningly at the dozens of cops surrounding him with their guns drawn. The air filled with the scent of ashes and the crackling of dying embers. "I know this looks suspicious, but I just got here. I picked the flamethrower off the ground."

"Shut up." Kaiji elbowed Yoichi. "I told you not to talk to cops." He raised his hands in surrender. At least Sanzou had gotten away. It seemed likely they would need Sanzou to come to the rescue again.

Yoichi dropped the flamethrower and raised his hands too. "Some buildings need to be burned down. Not that I'm confessing I had anything to do this, mind you. Did you know the CEO who lived here was keeping a woman with a canary mutation locked up in a cage to sing for him? The heroic vigilantes who busted into this place saved her before they burned it down. They were amazingly handsome fellows. One of them had great hair."

Kaiji rolled his eyes. From the parting of his lips, he was straining with desire to say something, probably about the hot scar-faced one, but he kept his silence.

As the cops shoved down his head to get him into the car, Yoichi continued, "Don't forget to arrest the CEO. He's tied to the only tree not burned down. There was some discussion among the vigilantes about if he would be likely to face adequate justice due to his wealth, so this is a real chance for you officers to prove me wrong about the police. Just in case you let him off too easily, the amazing superhero vigilantes raiding his computers for bank account information before burning his house down."

Kaiji head-butted Yoichi. "Shut up and stop incriminating yourself. If you won't do it for your own sake, then do it for my poor ears still ringing from the explosion and my sanity hanging by a spider's thread."

Since no one seemed to be laughing at his wit, not even his hero, Yoichi subsided into sulky silence. His shoulder hurt. Kaiji had put some real force into that headbutt. His beloved hero must be upset about their latest arrest.

By the fourth time, mugshots were boring. Yoichi only bothered to smile for his out of habit. They waited in the holding cell just long enough for Yoichi to start to fret.

Then an explosion rocked the station, carrying the scent of burning metal and rubber. Sanzou kicked down the door and strode in with a flamethrower across his chest. His hair had fallen out of his ponytail. Ashes smeared his face and left footprints behind him. He growled, "You two already forced me to use my plan to break you out of prison, and my backup plan, so now I'm improvising. Let's leave before they put out the fire."

Starry-eyed, Yoichi whispered, "You have never looked more beautiful. When we get home, I'm going to rock your world."

At the time, Sanzou merely looked annoyed, but when Yoichi later made good on his promise, he made Sanzou beg.

Into a megaphone, the police officer screamed, "Yoichi Shigaraki and Gearshift, you're under arrest for arson."

"They know my name!" Yoichi clapped his hands. Turning to Kaiji, he squealed, "See? The police want to arrest me for my own crimes instead of my brother's. I feel like I've made a real impact."

The two of them crouched in the attic of an abandoned house. They'd been chased in here after two officers recognized Yoichi walking down the street. Dust filled the air. "Is that why you smiled and winked at the police officers when they stared at you instead of hiding your face?" Kaiji asked dryly.

"I thought they were flirting with me! People stare at me all the time," Yoichi defended. He was determined not to let his hero bring down his good mood. "Recognizing me as a feared criminal is even better than more people chasing after my pretty face. This is my favorite arrest yet."

Kaiji grumbled, "We haven't been arrested yet, don't jinx us."

Unfortunately, at that precise moment, the cracked floorboards collapsed.

Kaiji, the current holder of One for All, used his speed to grab Yoichi and run down the wall. A blast from his gauntlets helped cushion their fall. But by the time they looked up from the crater, too many police had guns pointed at them to make a run for it.

They were cuffed and hustled into an armored van. Banging on the wall between him and the driver, Yoichi shouted, "I don't even look like that heartbreakingly beautiful vigilante, Yoichi Shigaraki. I have completely different hair." Currently, he'd dyed his hair a deep purple with two pink streaks in his bangs. A metahuman friend had used an ability to make his hair sparkle. He loved it. "Did you pick me because I'm tall? This is discrimination!" He turned to his lover. "Is height a protected class?"

Sitting in the corner and leaning against the wall, Kaiji grumbled, "I was only arrested once before I met you, and now it's happened so many times."

Yoichi looked around. "This journey seems like it's lasted an unusually long time. I've been to the police station for booking often enough to know."

Kaiji said, "They're taking us to a more secure location because we burned down the station last time. I suspect we'll be sent to a military cell for metahumans. Congratulations, we have the notoriety you wanted."

Yoichi felt a pang of concern. He'd seen files on what the military had done to metahumans in the past. To cover up his fear, he argued back: "You were the one who wanted to burn that CEO alive in his mansion. You're not exactly the voice of restraint in our trio. At least Sanzou got away. Do you think we can break out of this van?"

A massive impact rocked the van. Yoichi slid sideways. Kaiji caught him and shielded him from the fall.

The back of the van opened, the sunlight blinding. Sanzou threw the keys to the ground and extended his hand. "Come on!" A motorcycle was propped up against the van. Sanzou wore a helmet and a high ponytail. Several cars were fallen over and smoking in the background.

Yoichi batted his eyes. "The biker look is fabulous on you too, my hero."

Sanzou blushed. "Please, I still can't walk straight after last time. Why don't we bully Kaiji tonight instead?"

Grimacing as he stepped out into the sun, Kaiji growled, "I refuse. Yoichi Shigaraki, wanted fugitive without the sense to hide his face when he sees the police, is definitely the one getting bullied tonight."

Sirens in the distance announced more police on the way. Further discussion was tabled by the exciting motorcycle chase.

Yoichi gaped at Kaiji from the living room sofa. "Sanzou got arrested? Sanzou? Are you sure?"

Not even taking off his shoes as he entered the house, Kaiji growled, "Sanzou lost his bandana and hair tie in the middle of a fight. With his height and longer hair, the police mistook him for you. I guess they've wised up to your constant hair dye swaps."

"Somehow that makes more sense." Yoichi just couldn't see Sanzou being arrested as himself—he was too competent. It seemed far more fitting for the universe to decree that Yoichi Shigaraki needed another arrest on his record. "We'll have to break him out." Yoichi went to the doorway and took down his bag with his flamethrower, throwing knives, and assorted other weapons. "Gosh, it's exciting get to break someone else out of jail for the first time."

Kaiji grumbled, "Sanzou was never arrested at all before we met you."

Yoichi donned his body armor. "Then we need something truly special for Sanzou's first prison break. Should we disguise ourselves as police? Or set the building on fire again? Why not both!"

During the trip over, they planned. Eventually they settled on something dramatic enough for Yoichi and practical enough for Kaiji.

Holding his flamethrower and standing on the roof of the police station, Yoichi screamed, "I, Yoichi Shigaraki, have escaped again! Muhahahaha!"

The police poured out of the station and chased after Yoichi. This allowed Kaiji to sneak in to rescue Sanzou.

After losing the police, Yoichi met up with their car on a lonely forest road. Wiping off the ashes on his shoes, he got in. He chattered: "I masqueraded as myself! That's so much cooler than pretending to be my brother yet again. Hey, Sanzou, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate our break-out? Or do we need to break out you of jail a few more times to give you a frame of reference?"

"Please, Sanzou, help me shut him up," Kaiji groaned, then kissed Yoichi. When Yoichi came up for air, Sanzou immediately kissed him next to stop him from talking. Yoichi rolled with it because he'd never tried car sex before. It seemed like something his brother would greatly disapprove of. And arson always got him in the mood.

They framed the mugshot of Sanzou holding up a letter board saying Yoichi Shigaraki and hung it over their mantel.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: All for One Reacts

Arrest #1:

Gigantomachia: Master, you've been arrested?

All for One: (Eating breakfast) I've been what now?

Gigantomachia: Oh, I see you've escaped. You even raided the police station for weapons on your way out.

All for One: Sometimes I'm so awesome, I don't even remember all my accomplishments. Wait. This mugshot isn't as handsome as me. Little brother!

Arrest #2:

Gigantomachia: Master, you asked me to tell you if your brother got arrested again.

All for One: Excellent, we'll swing by the police station to pick the fool up.

Gigantomachia: You also asked to be notified if he escaped.

All for One: …He's already gone, isn't he? Oh, well, I order you to steal a copy of his mugshot. Next time we meet, I'll be taunting him about how much better he looks when he pretends to be me and how his hero career descended into criminality.

Arrest #3:

Gigantomachia: The police caught two Sunrise vigilantes, one with red hair and one with orange hair.

All for One: Probably insignificant people I don't care about.

Arrest #4:

Gigantomachia: After burning down the mansion, next your brother and his friends burned down the police station.

All for One: I love it when he commits arson against other people. Increase crime in that area, I must take advantage of the rare chance when my idiot brother accidentally helps me out.

Arrest #5:

Gigantomachia: Your brother was arrested again.

All for One: He's already escaped, hasn't he?

Gigantomachia: The police van never even made it to the prison. Sorry, master, no new mugshots.

Arrest #6:

All for One: Hmm, I came here because my brother got arrested but you're just some random loser they grabbed by mistake. Your face looks a little familiar…hmm…nope, nothing. Goodbye.

Sanzou: I'm so grateful my ponytail holder fell out so I no longer have spiky hair.

Author's Note: The title and this fic was inspired by some hilarious art of Yoichi and Second doing the Barbie and Ken meme. Delete the spaces to get the link:
tumblr.
com/
coffeeandtoastforbreakfast/720129291268030464/duo-holders-but-make-it-the-barbie-ken-mugshot

FYI, I have a new collab with Zyla_SweetBean on Archive of Our Own, science-fiction story with a Humans are Space Orcs theme. The title is "How (NOT) to Survive Your Pet Death Worlder" and the summary is: Humans are known across the galaxy for being terrifying, relentless, and savage monsters. Naturally the alien warlord All for One must have one as a pet. The unfortunate alien abduction victim Izuku Midoriya is determined to make his captor regret it.

Delete the spaces to get the link:
archiveofourown.
org/
works/49984948/chapters/126204133