Princess Leia was lost amongst licorice trees. She couldn't find Luke, nor her father, nor even bees.
When she took one bite out of her royat toast, she stumbled upon the appearance of a force ghost.
"I am your father" said the force ghost.
"You don't look much like bloody Vader, and your appearance is strikingly different so's the color of your light sabre"
said Leia.
"Excuse me while I put on my suit, I forgot to let you know I reformed, I'm no longer such a brute" replied Vader.
"Oh, is that so?" asked Leia.
"Yes, and it is Luke my darling pumpkin who has betrayed us both" said Vader.
"Says the man who destroyed my entire home planet. Hremph" said Leia.
"Leia that was the past you were a prisoner of war. You're lucky your punishment was not much more!
Besides I assure you all your friends were beamed up away from harm. They're now celebrating on an Ewok family
owned farm" said Vader.
"Show me proof" said Leia. She saw a hologram of the citizens of Alderaan.
"Fair enough?" asked Vader.
"Oh-not really but I suppose for now" replied Leia.
"Good, listen Leia Luke has teamed up with the evil demon spawn Obi Wan. He now lives in a castle made of licorice,
so grab your ray gun" instructed Vader.
Later...arriving on Obi Wan's castle:
"Vader, what a surprise, welcome to my castle of licorice" said Obi Wan.
"You can't just transform every planet in the galaxy into licorice-it just isn't fair.
You'll end up killing everyone, and you can't kill everyone, you just can't" said Vader.
"Only a Sith deals an absolute" replied Obi Wan.
"I'm the one who's supposed to take over the galaxy and kill everyone not you" said Vader.
"You tell him Pops" said Leia, munching on popcorn and kissing an Ewok on the cheek.
"My wicked ways were only because of what you made me Obi Wan. You took me
from my mother and father, you lied to my son, and you forced me to kill you, didn't
want to, it wasn't fun. So yeah, because of you I'll never truly know my father you took me from him" replied Vader.
"Did I? Or is it simply the truth that-I am your father, Anakin" explained Obi Wan.
"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"
"You're my grandfather Obi Wan Kenobi?" asked Leia, looking confused.
"Yes, I am your grandfather" replied Obi Wan.
"Vader, dearest this is good news" said Leia, hugging her father Darth Vader.
"Um-well-it would be but-your grandfather is even more evil than I am" replied Vader.
"What's with this family anyway?" muttered Leia.
to be continued...