Killian

He felt Emma's eyes on him the whole way back to the ship. They never left him as they trudged down the beach to the rowboats, nor when they slowly rowed their way back and were raised to the deck by the small crew they had left behind.

Killian turned to Regina the moment they set foot on deck, continuing to ignore the emerald eyes trained on him and Robin's questioning gaze. He had chosen to bark orders of retreat at them using the storm Caeliana had warned him of as an excuse not to stop and explain what was said to him. So he knew they were all anxiously waiting for an explanation of what they had just witnessed.

"I need to speak to Regina alone."

"Killian, mate, what the hell is going on? Who was that woman? What did she tell you?" asked Robin, ignoring Killian's sudden demand.

"I will tell you as soon as I finish speaking with Regina. Robin, I promise you I'll explain everything later," vowed Killian solemnly.

He would tell them.

It wasn't a lie.

He simply wasn't sure how much he would tell them.

After all, he didn't know if he could put into words all that had shattered everything he'd known and believed in for centuries in only a few minutes.

He barked the few orders he felt were needed to prep the ship for the storm as he trusted Little John and Robin to take care of the rest and directed Regina to follow him to his quarters, once again ignoring Emma's heated gaze. She hadn't said a word this whole time, but her thunderous gaze told him enough for him to feel on edge by her silence.

He knew they were all worried; agitation and panic were probably clear on his face, and he had always had a better grip on his emotions than this, but he didn't care.

Not right now, when he needed answers.

"What do you know of gods and goddesses?" demanded Killian as soon as the door to his quarters had closed behind Regina.

"I imagine as much as you with all the years you have lived and the reading you do and have done over the past centuries. So why don't you ask me what you actually want to ask, Jones," responded Regina calmly, not rising to meet him at the brusque tone he had employed with her.

"What do you know of them having offspring with humans?"

"I have heard tales and myths of it but never any confirmation. I suppose it would be possible if the deity took a temporary human form, and even in this realm, those stories exist, so they probably have some merit. However, I am lost on the technicalities of it all. Why are you asking me this, Hook?"

Killian gave her a consternated look and shallowed, unsure of how to put it into words, but he hoped he wouldn't need to if he gave her some space to think it through. Regina was smart, smart enough that he trusted her to read on his face what his lips couldn't say.

As usual, he was right.

"Oh, that explains the familiarity with our mystery woman then," whispered Regina softly.

Killian nodded, grateful for that sense of understanding he sometimes shared with Regina, of never needing too many words when it mattered the most.

"So your mother never died?" questioned Regina immediately.

"No, she did. That was my sister, not my mother. If she is to be believed. Or, well, half-sister, I suppose," said Killian as he paced his quarters agitatedly.

"If she is to be believed? You and I both know you think she is telling the truth. Otherwise, the two of us wouldn't be here having this conversation," commented Regina.

"It sounds preposterous to me," yelled Killian.

"But you can't deny that it's true. And a lot of things are starting to make sense now. Just take a look at your old crew; without Neverland's waters, they have aged considerably in the meantime. Time has a funny way of catching up like that. But I've yet to see it do so with you," remarked Regina calmly. "Besides, I've seen you fight, and I always thought there was something almost supernatural about the way you moved, if we are being honest."

"I have more than two centuries of sword fighting experience; of course, I can bloody well fight. I would have to be a bloody idiot if I couldn't," snapped Killian.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," snarked Regina. "Are you telling me you didn't stand out as a young Lieutenant? That your brother, one of the youngest Captains in King Richard's navy, didn't stand out, too?"

Killian remained quiet, refusing to rise to the bait only because he knew he would only prove her right.

"She's telling the truth, Killian. Now is where we sit and think about what we're going to do with this new information. Starting with you obviously not being human, at least not fully."

"But I am human! I have never felt like anything else but human," scoffed Killian.

"Do you think I do not feel human, Killian? Because I do. Even when committing the most heinous acts as the Evil Queen, I still felt human. But it doesn't change the fact that magic courses through my veins. Like it does yours."

"I have no magic. Must I repeat to you that I have lived two hundred years? I think I have had plenty of time to figure that one out. After all, it is not like I didn't spend those years researching magic to kill the fucking Dark One," hissed Killian, digging his feet and refusing to relent to Regina on this matter.

He hated the thought that all his and Liam's achievements in the Navy had been because of some magic in their blood. It felt like his love for the sea was being corrupted by his hate for magic, which made him feel even worse. He didn't want to feel as if his mother's blood was a taint. Not like he always thought Brennan Jones' was.

Regina barely arched an eyebrow at his raised voice, and it was moments like this that made him feel eternally grateful to have her in his life. It was ridiculous to him that after years of animosity between him and the Evil Queen, after plotting with her own mother behind her back and betraying her time and time again, he trusted Regina like this. They had a rocky start for sure, and he could barely tolerate her most days, but she had a soft side, the Regina to the Evil Queen, much like the Killian Jones to his Hook, and she understood in ways others would never.

She understood the darkness and the rage and the feeling of drowning in them. And so, in moments like this, when his anger took over, she didn't bat an eye at his fury. She didn't make him feel like a villain for being rageful in the face of uncertainty and fear but like a man who simply let his emotions lose to his demons sometimes.

"Not all magic is the same, you moron. Some of it can be more subtle. If a god would take a human form to lay with a human, I would imagine their powers would be diminished slightly. Which in turn would make any half-human offspring much less powerful. Your magic is there, but it is not latent. And that would explain why Caeliana's magic felt so familiar but unknown. I wonder how deep it runs though. Could it be awakened?" mused Regina softly, her mind filled with possibilities and magical theories.

"That is not the point right now, Regina."

"No, it is not," agreed Regina. "But it might be the reason why you're being targeted. I imagine your sister is not the one behind the attacks?"

Killian tried to school his features, but it was too late.

"It is the reason why you're being targeted, isn't it?" questioned Regina.

Killian didn't dignify the question with an answer; Regina was anything but dumb. With her, the less he said, the better.

"What? Someone got pissed off at a god and figured the best revenge would be going after his human son?" scoffed Regina, clearly assuming his father to have been the deity in his parents' relationship.

"No. I killed my father, Regina. Or have you forgotten?"

He regretted the words the moment he said them, not because of the flash of guilt on Regina's face at the reminder of her orders but because of his own guilt. He already felt like he was drowning with all the new information that had been dumped on him; he didn't need to anchor himself down with thoughts of his heinous past deeds.

"So your mother was a goddess?"

"Aye," breathed Killian.

"But you said she died," whispered Regina, processing and reaching the same horrifying realization Killian had when Caeliana had first told him the truth of his mother's identity.

"Killian, how does a goddess die?"

"Nice of you two to finally join us," snarked Emma when Killian and Regina joined her, Robin, and Little John in the control room, where they had probably been trying to update Will - who had been left behind to guard the ship - on the little that they knew.

"Care to share with us why you needed my girlfriend only to yell at her behind closed doors?" said Robin with a raised eyebrow, referring to the raised voices they all had heard coming from his quarters.

"I apologize for the suspense and secrecy. I simply needed to run a couple of things by Regina to confirm Caeliana's story first," muttered Killian.

"And what, exactly, is her story, Hook?" demanded Emma.

"Well, I can tell you that. She's a minor goddess, daughter of the sea goddess Calypso. And she's - " started Regina.

"She says she's my sister. According to her, my mother, too, was the sea goddess Calypso. Even though I knew her as Cailani. I'm not sure - " Killian hesitated, looking to Regina for help.

"There are some details we have to work out, but she told Killian enough for him to believe she is telling the truth," interrupted Regina, glancing worriedly at Killian. "For now, that is not our problem."

"Then what is?" questioned Emma, clearly losing her patience with the situation.

"Caeliana is not behind any of the attacks or the rare sightings in town. But she knows who is."

"And that would be Davy Jones," supplied Regina.

"Wait, I thought we ruled him out? I thought you never encountered him?" questioned Little John.

"We did, and I haven't. At least that I can remember. According to Caeliana, he is my father's brother."

"Of course, it's a bloody family member again. Should have known," mumbled Will.

"So he is human? Was your father even human?" mused Robin, choosing to ignore Will's comment.

"Aye, he was. His brother, however, is not. Or at least, I don't think he is. Not anymore."

"Okay, so according to Caeliana, he's the one after you. Does she know why?"

"No, she didn't say."

He noticed Emma catch the lie immediately and inwardly sighed. She would be like a dog with a bone after this; he just knew it. It was bloody annoying to have a human lie detector walking around you; it was the worst thing ever when said human lie detector was the woman he was in love with.

"Okay, what did she say then?" sighed Robin.

"According to Caeliana, my mother met the brothers Jones centuries ago. Long before Liam and I were born. She first met Davian, now known as Davy, and he fell in love with her. But she loved Brennan, and Davian didn't take this well. He became obsessed with them and went to a sorcerer, who Caeliana suspects was the Dark One back then, begging for a way to impress Calypso and spend eternity with her. Like most promises fulfilled by the Dark One, this one had a price. Davian paid with his soul and ended up becoming the Captain of the Flying Dutchman, cursed to ferry the souls of those who died at sea to the Underworld and to touch land only every ten years."

"Wait, how would this help him with Calypso?" interrupted Will.

"I am not sure what the logic was there, mate. I wasn't exactly present for the development of the story," sighed Killian.

"Okay, you're right, sorry. Please continue."

"As I was saying, Davian assumed his new role and laid his heart bare to Calypso. Only for her to reject him and steal his heart," said Killian, raising his hands expecting another interruption. "No, I do not know why she stole his heart. All Caeliana said was that Davy Jones threatened Brennan, and this prompted Calypso to place him in a sort of stasis and submerge his body along with his brother's heart in the heart of the sea, in what sailors call the Dead Man's Chest, for protection."

Killian paused, awaiting further questioning, but refused to look anyone in the eyes as he shared this piece of his family's history that was as new and scandalous to him as it was to them.

"Davy Jones went on to become the legend we now know of. Feared by all and loved by none, forever sailing the seven seas looking for his heart and his brother. Centuries later, when nary a whisper was heard or seen of him, Calypso felt it was safe to awaken my father and live out the life they had promised each other before. She chose to take a human form and name, and they married, with Liam and I being born some years later," shared Killian.

"And then Davy Jones found her," assumed Emma in a soft whisper.

"And then Davy Jones found her," confirmed Killian quietly.

"On that one day in a decade that he could come to shore, he somehow imprisoned Calypso in her human body and then poisoned her, cursing her to a slow and painful death. He promised he would come for her sons in ten years' time and swore revenge on his brother's line," continued Killian with soft anguish in his voice. "I am not sure where we were when he came for my mother, but I do know I have never encountered him. Caeliana believes that Calypso chose to place a protection spell on us with her waning powers rather than save herself."

"But now he has found you again," commented Robin worriedly.

"He has. Caeliana is not sure how he did, though she doesn't think the protection spell has worn off. She herself couldn't find me until he did. But that is not the matter here. Davy Jones is powerful; even if he can't come to shore, he still commands the Kraken."

"Wait, aren't we in danger then sailing on the open sea like we are right now?" questioned Little John, looking around as if he expected the feared sea monster to pop up suddenly.

Killian shook his head calmly.

"Not tonight, at least. Caeliana has placed the ship under her protection, and King Tide happens to be a time when the Kraken is at its weakest," he shared, looking out to the ocean.

"Our concern right now is that we must assume that Davy Jones's ten years are coming to a close soon, and he might wreak havoc on Storybrooke on the one day he comes to shore. We must be prepared for that," warned Regina.

"What about Killian?" asked Emma.

"What about me?"

"Well, you just said he came to Storybrooke for you. Shouldn't we be concerned about why he is after you and how we can keep you safe?"

"You don't have to worry about me, Swan. I can take care of myself," said Killian dismissively.

"I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself, Hook. But we have just established how dangerous Davy Jones is and that you are his motivation to come to Storybrooke. So we should definitely be thinking about - "

"We should be thinking about raising the town's defenses, Swan. Particularly the harbor's defenses. That should be our priority," interrupted Killian heatedly.

Emma opened her mouth, clearly ready to continue the discussion, but Regina beat her to it, probably sensing Killian's need for space before continuing the discussion.

"Both points have merit, and we can discuss them further when we're back in Storybrooke. Emma, I'm sure Killian's sister has done a good job with her protection spell, but I'd like to reinforce ours just in case. This can be a good opportunity for a magic lesson; let's go," she demanded, striding away without waiting for Emma's answer, effectively ending the conversation and granting Killian the reprieve to escape everyone's scrutiny..

Killian stood at the helm of the Aquilion, gazing out at sea without really looking.

The only sounds that disturbed the silence were the wind across the bow, the thrumming of the stays, the flapping of the sails, and the groans of the planks beneath his feet—the music of the only symphony he ever needed to hear.

The wind whipped around him, and the ship groaned as the waves lapped roughly at her hull; Killian stood there alone with a flask, his thoughts and the thrill in his blood that storms still inspired even after centuries. It was a particularly wild one tonight, and he was expecting it thanks to Caeliana's warning, so Killian was untroubled by that; he'd had many a wild night in his time. What troubled him was a storm of a different sort, and he lifted his flask to his lips and drank deep as he tried not to think about the events of the last few hours.

Tried without success as he remembered snippets of his conversation with his half-sister.

"This small island, worn down by the sea as it is, offers a good compromise between the sea and land. Allowing me to step on it, even if only for a few minutes."

"Is that why I have never seen, let alone met you despite your claims that we share blood?" questioned Killian.

"Our great-grandfather is forbidden by The Council to get involved in human affairs, and in some ways, so am I, but I couldn't let you perish without lifting a finger. You might not remember me, but we have met, and to me, you will always be my little brother."

"Younger brother," corrected Killian automatically before feeling like someone had punched him in the gut.

"I know you don't believe me, but - "

"No, I believe you. I just wished I didn't."

"I'm sorry, Killian. I know this must be a lot to take in."

"You look like her," whispered Killian. "Mother."

'I know," responded Caeliana, smiling sadly. "So do you."

"There will come a time when you will feel like you are standing alone and all hope is lost. Look for me then, little brother. And you will find me."

"Why not simply give me the answers now? Why not help me fight him now?"

"I do not have all the answers, Killian. But I know, like you know deep in your soul, that some paths are meant to be taken even if they lead to a cliff."

"What the hell does that even mean? Are you saying I should go after him?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, you precocious child. You will understand when it is time for you to see."

"Oh, and by the way," said Caeliana as she turned to walk back into the sea, and the smirk on her face made his heart ache for Liam. "You should really start listening to and trusting your heart more. Follow that mind of yours a bit less when it comes to following your little Cygnus. It might not only save your life but also your heart, Thaisce."

A lot of things had started to make sense the more he thought about it, as Regina had pointed out; dreams he now knew were childhood memories, strange phrases his mother had uttered, the reverence their family had always shown the sea, and he could only wonder if Liam had known.

Liam, who had been older than him and had taken care of their mother in her last days as their father disappeared into town.

Liam, who never wavered about his desire for them to join the Navy, had been obsessed with it to a certain degree and, when questioned, had simply stated they belonged to the sea.

Liam, who had somehow retrieved the Eye of the Storm and ensured their entry to the Navy after the two of them survived the storm that fateful night that took everyone's life on Captain Silver's ship.

Looking back at it, he could only assume his brother had known and had chosen not to tell him.

And he could not understand why.

He had been young when his mother died, but he was a grown man by the time Liam did.

Killian had let so much slide, had chosen not to question and to live in denial. And maybe he could lay some of the blame on Liam for keeping him in the dark. But Killian had chosen to live in obscurity, too.

Had chosen to ignore the whispers in the wind, the way the sea crooned to him in a way he knew it didn't to other sailors. He chose to ignore how he could feel a storm long before it formed, how he could stay underwater longer than any human should be able to. Or how he had no memory of ever learning to swim but could outswim even a mermaid if prompted.

He had lived in such deep-seated denial that he couldn't blame Liam for not having broached the topic if he had indeed known as Killian now suspected he did.

Perhaps Liam had not told him because he had understood that Killian had not been ready to know and hadn't wanted to see the truth even when it had been staring him in the face.

Even now, he struggled to accept what he now knew.

And yet, he wished fervently that he had known even if it would not have changed their fates.

He felt her long before he saw her.

He did not want to turn to confirm his suspicions, but Emma Swan had an outstanding ability to draw him like a moth to a flame, and so he found himself turning to find her standing a few feet away.

And there she was, bathed in the light of the moon; blond locks let loose and swaying in the wind, looking like something out of his wildest fantasies.

"We didn't get to finish our conversation."

Killian tried to hide his surprise at her words, even if it probably was for naught judging by the way she narrowed her eyes at him. He had fully expected her to pretend the conversation had never even happened, considering how it had almost ended (with her pink, plump lips inches away from his own, with their shared breaths and the heady arousal that only she awoke in him).

Everything in his life had been upended just a couple of hours later, but it had been more than enough time for him to have agonized over the kiss that could have been, the same way he still agonized over the kiss that had been, once upon a time in Neverland.

That kiss had shifted his world on his axis like no other ever had.

Sometimes, he regretted that the only other people he knew to have experienced True Love's Kiss were Emma's own parents because he really could use some notes of comparison in that matter.

It was ridiculous, he knew, to believe that he, the villainous Captain Hook, could be worthy of a True Love's Kiss.

But that kiss, her kiss, it had been magic.

He didn't need rainbow light or the sudden riptide of magic to know it had been. It had broken open something inside him, and he didn't know how to close it back up. Some days, like today, he wished he could rip away that kiss from his skin, from his mind and his heart. Some days, he wished he could look at Emma Swan and not feel every single emotion she awoke in him.

Some days, he wished he wasn't so bloody in love with her.

"Ahh, you mean when you came all the way to my quarters to accuse me of avoiding you?"

"Are you saying you haven't been avoiding me?"

Some days, he wished she wasn't so bloody stubborn and set in her way.

"I've just been preoccupied with everything else that has been going on, Swan. Besides, I figured you would want your space to acclimate back to Storybrooke, and you have made your preference regarding the pleasure of my company quite obvious."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know when my presence is not welcome, Emma."

"I wouldn't say you're not welcome, not to me, at least. You're friends with my parents and everyone else, it seems, and I think you and I can be considered sort of friends, too, right?"

"Friends?"

Fuck, but how did Emma Swan find new ways to cut him up like this?

There was a time he would have jumped at the chance of being considered Emma Swan's friend. Would have probably seen it as a stepping stone of trust between the two of them. But now, now he knew better. Now he understood that being her friend would only be a double-edged sword of having her close but not close enough in a way that would only make him fall further in love with her while breaking his heart in the same breath.

"Do you not agree? I think there's a limit to how many adventures you can go on together without becoming friends. You've saved my life enough times for you to have earned that title, don't you think?" mumbled Emma, suddenly bashful.

(God, but she was adorable when she frowned her nose just so.)

It was moments like this when he wished he could read her mind. Because what did she even mean by that? Only Emma Swan would correlate someone saving her life to being her friend in such a transactional way. He'd never saved her life because he wanted her in his life; he did it because he couldn't fathom a world where she didn't exist, regardless of whether she would go on to exist in front of him or thousands of miles away.

"No. I mean, yes. Of course, we are… friends."

"Good," replied Emma, a soft smile grazing her beautiful face.

Killian's mind immediately went to a different day when she had said the same thing to him, to a promise he had never broken.

(Not a day will go by that I won't think of you.)

He wondered if she remembered it too, wondered, even now, what she had meant by it then.

"You know what else friends do next to save each other's lives?" asked Emma cheekily.

"What do they do, Swan?"

"Talk. Especially when something is weighing heavily on one of them. And I have it from personal experience that family members popping up out of nowhere is quite a heavy thing to deal with," joked Emma.

"I'm not sure I would compare our situations, Swan. But you are right, it is not - I can't," he stuttered, then stopped, restarting. "It is not something I know how to approach despite my many years of life experience. I think I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."

"I get that," whispered Emma softly.

He knew she did, and that was more than enough to settle his heavy heart just a tiny bit. That and the comfortable silence they found themselves in as they listened to the wind and the waves below.

"You know, whatever you found out today doesn't change the fact that your mother loved you."

Killian looked away at her words, trying to hide the emotion they brought up with him. He had forgotten her expertise in unearthing the deepest of emotions in his psyche with no real effort at all.

"You speak quite confidently, Swan."

"Because I am. She might have been a goddess, but that didn't make her any less your mother. I paid attention when you were talking about her, and whether you knew her as Cailani or Calypso, you remember her fondly, which tells me you have good memories of your time with her. You loved your mother, Killian. Knowing there were other versions of her to love doesn't make your love, or hers, less valid," declared Emma passionately.

He swore this bloody woman would be the death of him and his stupidly fragile heart.

Killian knew that had they come from anyone else, he would have easily dismissed the placating words and would have found a loophole to bury himself deeper in the recrimination of his mother's love. But not when they came from her.

Because she understood better than anyone.

No one understood better than an orphan how a parent's love, or the lack thereof, could shape and twist a person.

But she did; she knew just like she knew him.

And it made him want to hate her just a tiny bit.

Or if not her, then whatever deity was in charge of his lot in this universe.

Because why would they let him meet her beautiful kindred spirit, why let him see what he could have had only to take it away before he ever did?

"Thank you, Emma," whispered Killian softly, knowing she wouldn't need more words to understand what her words meant to him.

The soft smile she gave him in return was enough to fuel a thousand dreams of her.