[29th January 2011]

[Astral Plane]

"Hmm, this is different...ah, out of body, hmmm" I mused looking around what seemed to a black empty, yet nicely lit space as I brought my hand up to my chin in a thoughtful pose. Thankfully I could still feel a 'link' to the material plane so...

"Well, I'm not dead..."

"Yet" a soft, cheerful, and feminine voice stated from behind me. I turned, mildly startled, but avoiding getting into a fighting posture as instead of it seeming to be a threat I came to face a girl a little distance away giving a friendly wave to me "Hello!"

I shrugged, best foot forward and all that, and it was usually best to be polite anyway, so I gave my own friendly wave in reply "Hello!"

Awkward silence a moment before I rubbed the back of my neck "...Um, I'm...John, and you are?"

She shook her head "No you're Not..." then paused finger on her chin "...well, it's one of your names I suppose. Oh, I'm Death. Hi again!"

I frowned, because that wasn't generally good "But I'm not dead...I hope"

"Ugh, well not yet, but you're almost dead. On the verge..."

"No you're not dead" another voice, a familiar one, interrupted as an armoured and cloaked figure walked out of the darkness looking irritated to my senses.

"Yet"

My Patron sighed at the cheerful, apparent Death Goddess, girl's interjection "No, not yet as you say, but that counts as not being dead at this exact moment"

"So I'm not dead?"

"Yet!"

"No, you're not dead yet you dumbass...not for lack of trying though" my God stated rubbing at his shadow shrouded head "...contingency worked, though the summoned transfer didn't last more a few seconds...and now I'm apparently at war with the Olympians. Fucking Joy"

"Um...so not dead..."

"Yet!"

"...yet, so why's the pretty girl who says she's a death goddess here?" I muttered hand coming up to chin in thoughtful pose again as I focused on my 'senses' to figure things out "and why are you here then?"

"Yes, she is much better looking than the usual Death Gods I agree, we're here because..."

"She is standing right here you know?" the girl who was apparently Death stated with some amusement, arms folded across her chest and top hat somehow not falling off her head as she cocked it to one side. Me and my Boss turned our heads towards her causing her to spread her arms out now, hands gesturing towards herself though "...but I didn't say stop...so keep the complements coming! Praise me more!"

"I like the hat and clothes, suits you" I stated without thinking, hand behind my neck and feeling confused "...but if I'm not dead..." she glanced at me "...yet...then, um why we're all here? Wasn't I getting beaten to a pulp..."

My mind focused "...shit. The others are they..."

The Shrouded Lord waved it away "Yeah, nobody in bad a condition as you looks like. But you're here because you are on Death's Door, and this fair maiden here..." he motioned at 'Death' apparently as she curtsied using her long jacket's ends like they were a dress "...is who she says she is. Had to outsource my soul collection, this dimension is filled with bastards, and Death of the Endless here is trustworthy and reliable in addition to being a snazzy dresser"

"I could have worn the Skull Head and Black Robes, but we both could turn up dressed like that, and then things would just be confusing now wouldn't they!" she stated motioning at me and I shrugged.

"Uhh...yeah, sorry about that...sorta wanted to inspire fear in my enemies and such"

"And THAT'S why I stopped wearing them for most situations. People are scared enough of me without me being all edgy and terrifying..." thankfully she seemed to wave it off in an amused tone "...and why I'm here is The Laws. You're not quite Dead Yet, but nearly so, and till you're not I'm obliged to watch out for you till I deliver this fellow's worshipers souls...that would be you...to him as Agreed. Them are the rules...so if you feel like just Dying right now...it'd be great, as job done and we can all go home"

"Yeah, sorry...No" I replied awkwardly "...I kinda like being alive right now, and put a wee bit of effort into staying so for the time being"

"Oh yes, Wizards and their Magic. Cheating Cheaters who Cheat I say..." she grinned back merrily giving a wave of her hand before falling back into a comfortable looking chair that seemingly poofed into existence behind her "...but it's fine...even if you're making me stay here waiting for you while you get around to not being here"

"Err, sorry about that...I'd make it up too, but I'm kinda planning on being alive a while longer..." I answered honestly "...but...I dunno, if you're on the material, mortal, plane I'll buy you coffee, or an ice-cream, or something"

"Did...you just value your life against buying me a coffee or ice-cream?" she asked back one arm resting on the armrest of her chair and looking bewildered and amused "...better than the chess game and begging I get sometimes, but really? Frozen desserts?"

"Or something..." I answered awkwardly stupidly, before I got a smack on the back of my head from my patron deity.

"Stop being an idiot and saying stupid things" I got told with an irritated groan/growl as 'He' turned towards 'Death' across from us "...but, he'll heal so I know technically we Agreed such, but this idiot will Heal...soon enough...so no obligation if you wish"

'Death' threw up here hand in a 'helpless' gesture "No can do, Bargain and Agree, Ancient Law and such and such. I'm stuck here till he Dies or isn't just about Dead. Them were the Terms"

"Of course, Understood" my patron deity replied politely before glancing at me "Now, you'll recover, but the Angry Goddess of 'But he lurv's me!' and blaming the mistress did a number on you. So, give it a bit to kick in, fun times for you. So try not die"

"You'll see me again then!"

My patron turned to 'Death' with an exasperated sigh "Don't encourage him! That's a reward not a punishment, and he'll just add another contingency till he hits true old age and you proper kicks him into the afterlife. Probably, maybe, unless the universe ends in some bizarre and terrible manner in between"

"Ahhh, keep up the sweet talk, this is fun, we should do it more often!" came back from the perky girl relaxing back into her seat "...or not. But I'll consider the offer from him if I'm ever bored. Anyway continue!"

"Hah...right, look, try not to die ans we, you, have things to deal with when you're not, ya know, here" the Shrouded Lord began "...cause I could've done without a fight, another one anyway, but here we are. So we're in the recruiting business ahead of schedule, and at war, and, oh, the Doors are opening. Mostly in Gotham right, but elsewhere too...but Gotham seem to be getting ignored by the Powers That Be...so be a good high priest and get a couple of clerics trained for me and then get back to studying and building order over the next few years"

"Okay?"

"Right, grand, I'm off then since things to do, vengeance to plan, and demi-goddess to get out of the line of fire with a God of Merriment. Bye Bye now, have fun, and don't annoy the pretty death goddess!" he stated before striding away, turning into shadowy smoke with each step and disappearing into the void surrounding me. The Astral plane was always odd like that, wherever I was in it locally "Oh, and get well soon I guess. Good Luck!"

"Okay??"

'Death' watched him go from her comfortable seat, then looked at me "We're not playing chess, or dice, I get enough of that already"

Blinking a moment, I shrugged, then summoned up a table, a chair for myself...oh, and a pack of playing cards "Poker?"

"No, and No not strip poker either"

"Do you really get that from people?" A television and computer appeared before me, and then her as the cards vanished from my hands "Anywho...Civilization?"

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[29th January 2011]

[Mount Olympus, Dimensional Boundary]

"Mom did WHAT?"

"..."

"You tell Daddy, I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED!"

"But Eris!"

"NO! Let Athena do it, or somebody I don't care about getting a lightning bolt to the face and more importantly isn't me!"

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