Rejected Real Stories:

Super Mario Bros the Real StorY:

Excerpt:

"I miss being a plumber in Italy, Mario. All that water in Venice made me used to when

things in our plumbing business went wrong" said Luigi.

"We had to leave Italy and come to Brooklyn, USA Luigi. It was to flee the horror

of Mussolini for one-ah thing Loogi, err-Luigi" replied Mario.

Legend of Zelda: The Real Story

"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this" said the Old man.

"No, YOU take it. You go on the quest" said Link.

Legend of Zelda: The Real Story Take 2

"It's dangerous to go alone. Take THIS!" shouted the Old man

attempting to kill Link with a Merlin-esque energy beam.

Twilight Princess: The Real Story

"There I was sitting in the forest reading Hemingway in the twilight. That's when I knew, the elf was watching me"

said Midna.

Star Wars: The Real Story

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was an evil religious cult leader named Obi Wan Kenobi

who wanted a monopoly on the force.

But there was hope in a benevolant galactic federation run by Darth Vader, a humble ally of Sith Lord Chancelor Palpatine

who sought to deliver a philosophy of freedom and individual strength!

Star Fox: The Real Story

"Do a barrel roll" shouted Peppy.

"I can't, I'm addicted to cheese" replied Fox, stuffing his mouth full of cheddar.

Mario: The True Story

Mario went to hypnotic regression therapy.

"I was abducted by Yoshies at a young age" said Mario.

"Tell me more" said the hypnotherapist.

"I CAN'T. TOO MANY YOSHIES. SO SATURATED. JUST-AH TOO MANY YOSHIES"

said Mario.

Crash Bandicoot: The Real Story

"DARN you, bandicoots. I lost the original batch of mutagenic bandicoots and now they're

getting away. The ones that got away were boyfriend and girlfriend-but the ones that

remained were brother and sister. The brother and sister are harmless, they succomb to all my desires,

but not that pesky boyfriend and girlfriend. Hmmm...let me see" said Cortex.

"Hurry put on this mutagen gel it has the DNA of the brother and sister on it.

Now Cortex will think WE're brother and sister" said Coco.

"That's the wrong mutagen" said Crash.

But it was too late. Coco had become what would be known as Tawna Bandicoot, that is until

the end when Crash reversed her back to her original form. Yes, Crash and Coco

were never once truly brother and sister at all. Why else would you never see Tawna again except in some alternate dimension?

Mario 2: The Real Story

"I'm sick of being a giant turtle. I'm gonna drink mushroom powder and go to bed" said Bowser.

That's when the Koopa King began to astrally project involuntarily. He found he transformed

into a giant green frog named Wart.

"WHAT? I'm stuck in the land of the subconcious? Well, if I can't take over the Mushroom

Kingdom I'll take over that instead" said Bowser.

Super Mario: The Real Story

"THE REAL REASON I'M TRYING TO CAPTURE PEACH IS BECAUSE SHE'S A WANTED WAR CRIMINAL!" shouted Bowser.

Should we believe him?

Mickey Mousecapade: The Real Story

"Oh, dear. So in these video game things you have to usually rescue a princess" said Alice.

"Right," replied Mickey.

"The Disney princesses are all on vacation" replied Alice.

"So who's the disney princess then?" asked Mickey.

"I am. Maleficent, kidnap me!" shouted Alice.

Maleficent took Alice away to another castle.

"Minnie, let's go rescue the princess" said Mickey.

"Who's the princesS?" asked Minnie.

"Alice," replied Mickey.

Kirby: The Real Story

One day there was a puffball named Kirby who began eating everyone in Dreamland, he seized

power and falsely claimed that there was simply a ban on food imposed by Emperor Dedede and

that he was only gobbling everyone up cuz he was hungry. But Dedede knew this wasn't true,

so he stopped the evil Kirby forever.

to be continued...