Translate by DeepL (sorry)
Chapter 15: Logbook
For the rest of the trip, unfortunately, Angéla spent even more time alone in her room. She circled her room like a tiger in a cage, tension building a s she moved further and further away from Earth. She had never been so far from her origins. She had written many letters to her loved ones. Of course, hopefully, she'd tried to send message to Earth, but it hadn't worked. At least not yet, she hoped to find a solution. She had even tried to connect to the ship on her PC, but the connection had overloaded her PC and she'd had to give up, to preserve her laptop. For the time being, she couldn't contact Earth. The others didn't seem to mind being so far from Earth. She sat back down in front of her computer, walking wa ss. It didn't calm her. She closed the application programs, and would try again later to connect to the ship without frying her processor. Here, she felt helpless, for usually nothing resisted her, no computer barrier stopped her. She was an expert at breaking into computer systems and leaving without being seen. Out of spite, she left her room to get some fresh air, feeling more and more trapped. She hoped to go and help Sam or talk to Mitchell or even Teal'c or Vala. The others were all busy, Daniel working on his translations in the library with Vala, Mitchell and Teal'c often going to the gym to train. Teal'c avoided fighting with her to forget the previous accident. But tonight she found herself alone in this usually busy room. Just as well. For what she wanted to do, she had to be alone. For she had decided to take advantage of this silence to meditate a little, for she had lost the habit of doing so and it was the only way, or almost the only way, to calm her down. but the second way was unthinkable.
First, she had to exhaust herself to facilitate meditation, so she did some stretching exercises, followed by increasingly physical ones. To do this, she plugged electrodes into her body at strategic points such as temples, heart, wrists... As Sam had taught her to control navigation, she mentally connected herself to the room's module. Surprised, she saw a screen appear: it was working. All she had to do then was think about what to do next. she wanted to do, she chose a basic workout. On the screen was a whole list. She had chosen the first one for Teal'c the day before. She took the same program as Teal'c and Mitchell. It was a virtual combat against one or more opponents, depending on the level of difficulty. She selected the various combat parameters, such as increasing the difficulty of the combat over time, randomizing the number of opponents and randomizing the type of weapons.
The machine would then send out a succession of increasingly powerful and numerous enemies with ever more complex and sophisticated weapons. Teal'c had reached a pretty good level the day before. In fact, he'd entered his name in his game like a video-game record board. She checked to see if she was alone. She wanted to be alone and not be surprised. The day before, during her meditation, something strange had happened, and she wanted to reproduce it, but without letting anyone know, because she didn't know whether it was an illusion or reality. Apparently the coast was clear. Everyone was going about their daily business. She started the game, feverish as if she were about to play those famous fighting games on the Wii.
An opponent immediately appeared and attacked without warning. The fight began. Like in a game, the opponent had a system of energy points which decreased according to the blows he received. Similarly, Angéla's life points were calculated and decreased or not, thanks to the electrodes. If she was hit, she lost some. Fatigue also counted. In a matter of seconds, she eliminated her adversary. He disappeared, fading little by little , and during this short respite, she recuperated. So her life points were also regenerating a little. The hologram disappeared completely, giving way to a stronger one. Gradually , the fight became tougher, with the appearance of new weapons. At first, the enemies were simple men, but little by little, they lost their human characteristics and became more and more frightening. There were lizard men, dwarf-like creatures, goblins and even skeletons that were difficult to eliminate.
The day before, Teal'c hadn't reached these levels, so he hadn't met his creatures. Angéla really thought she was in a video game without the blood, or in an endless nightmare. As their numbers grew, she felt overwhelmed and cornered. The longer the fight went on, the more Angéla was frightened by the appearance of new adversaries. Each time, she wondered what form the next one would take. She wondered if her opponents were figments of her imagination or her worst nightmares. She was definitely watching a bit too much TV. When her fatigue reached its peak, the program stopped itself, displaying the score in full digits. She stretched before sitting down on some cushions, aching. She turned on the meditation program, and scented candles appeared to set the mood. In theory, she didn't need these objects to clear her mind. But in practice, it was more complicated given the situation she found herself in, with all its tensions. She took a bowl and poured a white powder into some hot water, smoke coming out of it on contact with the powder. The electrodes, still connected, announced that her heart rate was beginning to drop. She took a deep breath of the room's various soothing scents. The smoke filled her lungs, relaxing her alveoli and increasing her respiratory capacity. She forced herself to regulate her breathing as low as possible, closing her eyes. Gradually, one by one, her senses disappeared. First sight, then smell and finally hearing. Gradually the noises became muffled and disappeared. She withdrew into herself psychically. The outside world was a total stranger to her now. Her heart rate was still decreasing, but especially her brain activity. At last, she entered a trance. She opened her eyes, the candle flames blurred. Suddenly, the flame was extinguished by a draught. Someone had indeed entered, but she hardly noticed and continued to sink into deep unconsciousness.
-What are you doing?" a man's voice asked, right in front of her.
Angéla didn't respond immediately, her heart rate rising slightly. She was torn between wanting to stop and wanting to continue the experiment. She wanted to know if what had happened the day before was an illusion. She told herself she had nothing to hide from Cameron, for she had not only recognized his voice but also felt his presence.
- "I'm meditating," said Angéla, softly, which was half true.
-Really? What's that?'
Her vision still blurred, she saw a cube in front of her that hadn't been there before Cameron's entrance.
-I don't know, I'm connected to an exercise'.
-'I see that, you beat Teal'c in records,' Mitchell said as he sat down across from her. He had seen Angela's score
-'Yeah,' said Angéla, still low, wiping the screen of records.
She didn't want to come out of her trance.
-'You look pensive. Are you all right? Your brain activity is low'.
-'Um, I'm fine, I just wanted to check on a few things', after a moment's hesitation, she continued, 'something happened yesterday. At least I don't think I was dreaming'.
-'And what were you doing yesterday?'
-I was training myself to concentrate my electrical energy, to turn a light off and on from a distance'.
-'You can do this!' Mitchell was interested.
-Don't pretend you don't know. If I can make lights flash when I'm angry, it's because I can control them remotely', said an annoyed Angéla, 'you're not going to tell me you've never noticed that when I lose control, the electrical system isn't stable'.
-'Yes, and I don't see what's weird about it, I mean if it is but not...'
-You're sinking," said Angéla calmly, as she had to keep her concentration.
-'Sorry'.
-'Shut up and look,' Angéla whispered as she sank back into her self.
She closed her eyelids again. When she was ready again, she opened them. She focused her gaze on the object before her. She directed her trembling right hand towards the cube without touching it. Her heart rate had fallen sharply to near-normal, but her brain activity increased abruptly, almost surpassing her usual capacity. Mitchell was also staring at the object, and could see some electrical connection between the cube and Angela's hand. His activity finally exceeded the usual limit, Mitchell became concerned and then turned his attention back to the object. Angéla watched him intently. After a seemingly endless moment, the object trembled slightly. Mitchell blinked to see if he was seeing trouble, but the object was shaking all right. The cube didn't quite move, but he felt it could. Then suddenly nothing, the object had come to a standstill just as it had at first. Angéla seemed exhausted.
- "You're bleeding!" said Mitchell pointing to his nose, as if nothing had happened.
She touched her nose where he indicated. She felt a warm fluid: it was blood.
-'It's nothing, I used to bleed a lot when I was little, but it's stopped now," said Angéla to reassure him.
-'You should slow down a bit'.
-'It's got nothing to do with it'.
-'Yes, we have seen similar cases'.
-' ?'
-'An elder was reincarnated as a child in...'
-'Because of its greater cerebral capacity. It's normal, children have more developed brains and their brain plasticity is exceptional'.
-'Yeah, but he died anyway, because the child's capacity wasn't sufficient'.
-It's not my case'.
-'Look at you. You've got a brain capacity way beyond normal and all the way from Antarctica'.
-'Yes, I know, but Daniel said I might have been contaminated by ancient genes. I must simply have developed Atlantean abilities and adapted physiologically thanks to precisely those genes. I should consider myself lucky to be alive'.
-'Yes, but at what price! Maybe that's why you've got a big tumor instead of a brain!'
-'You may be right, but I can't help it, I have to live with it, and what's more, I use my abilities as little as possible so as not to develop them. I've just learned to control and repress them so as not to hurt anyone'.
-'You're using your mental capacity'.
-'?'
-' I've read a few of your theses, I understood a tenth of them even though they're very well explained. At your age, you've written as many theses as Sam or Dr. Rodney Mc Kay, who have written many'.
-'Mc Kay?
-'An acquaintance of Sam's, he's written a lot of physics papers, I think'.
-'That must be it," said Angéla thoughtfully.
-'Anyway, even Sam didn't understand everything, from what she told me your thesis was very advanced'.
-'Which one is she talking about'.
-'All of them!'
-They're not that complicated. And it comes naturally to me.
-Has it always been the case?'
-'Yes, even before. These are all studies I started before my accident. Okay, I work faster, but that's all it's given me intellectually," said Angéla.
-'So maybe repressing them, isn't so good, maybe it takes too much energy out of you,' said Mitchell thoughtfully'.
-'What do you want? That I let myself go, that I burn everything in my path. Maybe it's just their presence. But there's nothing we can do, it's anchored there, in my heart', putting his fist on his chest, 'and there's nothing I can do about it or you for that matter. I've learned to live with it, and I've also accepted that I'll die before my time. In fact, that's why I'm here: if I'm going to die, I'd rather it be quickly and well, by doing something that's right for me. something...heroic'.
-'There's nothing heroic about dying," said Mitchell.
-'And thank you for turning me around and using my favorite phrase to my face, but it doesn't change my situation'.
-Yet you have great abilities...can't you heal yourself, for example? Look at what you can do: you can move an object by your own will'.
-'It's just a question of physics, thanks to the electricity in my body, I can reverse the polarity of objects so that they move away from me, or on the contrary, move towards me if the polarity is opposite," explained Angéla.
-'For me, these are powers'.
-'Like Superman', laughed Angéla, 'No I'm not a superhero, it's just an anomaly, an adaptation, it's like having a sixth finger. You're too open-minded. The Oriis aren't gods, they just use their knowledge to fool blind and naive people'.
-'But with you, it seems so real'.
-'This anomaly must have existed before the accident, I must have had it since I was a child, or even after," said Angéla, looking thoughtful.
-'How? What are you thinking?'
-'a disease that affects the membrane potentials of cells or something else it could be anything but I don't think it's that exactly because this disease has very serious consequences'.
-'More serious than a tumor. You think there were events before Antarctica but this accident was the last straw. But what events?' Angéla didn't answer.
She stared into space, immersed in her memories. Not pleasant memories. At last, she understood what had triggered her condition. Events she'd forgotten because they were too painful, and which she'd buried in the back of her mind to protect her soul.
- "You know, don't you?" said Mitchell.
-'I think this could be one of the consequences...'
-'And...'
-'I don't want to talk about it,' Angéla gasped.
-'But you have to'.
-'Listen', and Angéla launched in, 'in my military or spy career, as you like, we sometimes use certain inhuman interrogation techniques to find out your degree of loyalty or even to train you or even during a mission...well you know what I mean...'
-'I can't see'.
-'The drugs, the torture...', continued Angéla, whispering.
-'You mean you were tortured,' Mitchell said, hoping she'd tell him she wasn't.
Angéla's gaze was lost in emptiness. Then she met Mitchell's eyes:
-'Like any soldier who's been on a mission in the Orient and got caught. The drug is designed to numb the brain; it's a mental torture for which I was very well prepared. It can block information such as pain. The Iranians don't don't know this...tool very well, they use it very badly and without precaution, often overdosing, which can easily fry the brain. They're especially good at tough, physical interrogations, which I wasn't quite prepared for, well, not that well. I'm sorry but I can't go into too much detail because I'm not ready for it and it's not going to change. It's still unclear to me, but it's common for them to use electricity. In my case, as I was not very cooperative as usual and as they were very angry, they mixed the two. The drugs didn't have the effect they'd hoped for, they didn't get the result they wanted, and the interrogation got tougher. But the drug didn't have time to eliminate itself and leave my system via the kidneys. And fortunately, it allowed me to endure the pain, the drug allowed me to move the pain threshold higher. But as I didn't feel the pain, my body didn't send out any alarm signals. The pain was there, very real, but the defense mechanism also absent. I could take it, but my body really couldn't take it anymore. I received a large quantity of electrical charge. The drug, which had been overdosed, allowed me to adapt physiologically to the situation'.
Then she fell silent, pondering what she had revealed. The silence weighed heavily. Mitchell was stunned by these revelations. He wished he hadn't insisted on knowing. The thought of Angela's mutilated body was unbearable. He could read past pain in her eyes. He wondered how she'd managed to stay sane. He had awakened buried memories in spite of himself. Now she remembered and remained mute, trembling with all her soul. Finally, she asked him not to reveal it to anyone. After a few minutes, the silence made them uncomfortable. Angéla finally broke the silence because Mitchell didn't dare speak for fear of seeing Angéla broken. He knew it had cost Angéla to tell him this memory.
-'What do you think?'
-'About what,' Mitchell said, holding his breath because he didn't want to revisit the conversation.
-'My powers as you say'.
-'I don't know'.
-'Do I scare you?'
-'No!', said Mitchell a little brusquely, 'I respect you, I have admiration for you, you've been through so much...'
-'Like the Oriis'.
-'You don't look anything like them!' said Mitchell sad to think that she thought he was comparing her to the Oriis, 'and if you're talking about the accident, anyone could have reacted like you did'.
-'But not in this proportion'.
-'No, it must be the female hormones," joked Mitchell to lighten the mood.
-'Yeah, a little too much oestradiol among the testosterone, it goes boom', joked Angéla.
-'Yeah', glad the atmosphere's relaxed.
-'You think I should use it'.
-'Yes, within the limits of your abilities, of course'.
-'You mean the bleeding, I suppose'.
-'Yes, and I'd like us to go to the infirmary'.
-'I told you it was okay," said Angéla, rising to her feet.
She disconnected the electrodes, a little abruptly.
-'And don't tell the others about what you've just seen'.
-'Of what? The bleeding'.
-'No, but that too'.
-'So the fact that you can move an object without touching it'.
-I'm not joking, it's not magic'.
-'I know, but now I'm wondering what you're really capable of'.
-Maybe we should find out'.
-'We? You mean you want to see what you can do with me and what part I play in it?'
-'I need you to tie me to dry land like a grounding plug just in case. If you don't mind, of course?'
- "It would be an honor to be your grounding," Mitchell laughed, bowing, "and how do you plan to do it?'
-'The ancients also possessed many abilities that would be considered paranormal. They must have researched and created programs to train or trigger these abilities in an 'ignoramus', what I call an elder who doesn't yet have these powers', she stood in front of a console.
-'Can you read ancient," asked Angéla.
-'No'.
-'Me neither, too bad'.
-'I only know a few words that Daniel often said'.
-'So it will take longer. Although my mind connected during my meditation and chose on its own a program according to what I wanted to do'.
-'Did you want to move an object?'
-'No, just focus my energy and that's the program that kicked in, by default I suppose. Numerous letters scrolled before them'.
-'Gently!'
-'Why can't you read the old language?'
-Well, sometimes I recognize a few words and you're not going to tell me you can read that," said Mitchell.
-'I read diagonally'.
-'Since when?'
-'Since we've been on this ship, there's been so much information that I've had to improve my reading skills to save time. What else do you want me to do on this ship?'
-'You could train with us, or help Daniel or Sam'.
-That's what I do, I help Sam. Daniel spends his time with Vala in the library'.
-'You shouldn't be alone'.
-'I'm not alone, you're here," said Angéla, disconnecting from the console.
-'Yes, but I feel you're isolating yourself," said Mitchell.
-'I've always been on my own, and I usually work solo. Here, I'm working with more than one person, which is a miracle, so give me time to get used to it and adapt to living in society. Well, I'll leave you to it, I'm going to rest", said Angéla, taking a towel from the corner of the room to mop her sweaty face.
These psychological exercises were all the more tiring than the physical ones.
-'See you later," said Mitchell.
-'yes', as she left the room, leaving Mitchell alone in his thoughts.
She met Vala and John on the way.
- "Hi," said Vala.
-'Hey', Angéla replied distractedly.
-'We're going to train if you want to join us...but I can see you're coming back from it,' said Vala, looking at the sweat on the young woman's muscular body.
-'What's Daniel doing?'
-'He's busy...he said not to disturb him'.
-'What's why we're going to train," said John.
-'Okay, we'll see you for lunch then. Knock yourselves out'.
-'See you then," said John.
Angéla didn't listen to him any more, she had already turned the corner and returned to her room. She headed for a low table on which lay a toiletry bag filled with medicine. It was her first-aid kit. She looked for a syringe and took a sterile needle. She took a bottle of epileptic medicine and injected herself. She decided to take a shower. She undressed and looked at herself in the mirror. More precisely, she looked at her tattoo. No matter how hard she looked, she couldn't remember when she'd had it done. She figured it must have been a stupid bet she'd lost when she was training in the army. Or maybe it was common for the same unit to tattoo themselves with the same tattoo to show their solidarity, their fraternity. But what idea had she had of getting one, especially a scrawl like that? She showered quickly, as she was trying to log on from her PC and a firewall on the front ship to go and eat to relieve Sam.
Once she'd finished showering, she grabbed some cables Sam had lent her and took out her laptop. At the bottom of her travel bag, she also fetched a mini-computer, the size of a box. It would serve as a firewall to protect her personal computer. Then she scanned her room. It was quite large. Apart from its rather wide, low Chinese-style bed. There was another small room used as a bathroom. The room was a mixture of brown and beige, which she didn't like. Opposite her bed were screens and a bay window where she could observe the outside world. The control screens were all switched off except for one, the middle one. In fact, Sam was connected to her at all times, to communicate just in case. In fact, Sam had connected all the rooms t o send each other voice messages. There was also a rudimentary desk and a footstool next to a coffee table. The walls were practically empty. There were just a few paintings for decoration. She had decorated the walls herself with photos. She also had these closed weapons trunks on a kind of work surface. She plugged the firewall into her PC and set its parameters; then she connected the box to the ship and to the screens in her room. She double-checked the connections and the PC 's protections. Once checked, she opened the connection ports to her personal laptop. She waited a few seconds for her PC to recognize all the hardware. When it did, she was able to connect to the ship and immediately set to work. She recognized the navigation platform and put it on stand-by on her left-hand screen. This way, she could monitor the navigation data from time to time directly from her bed. It took her a few minutes to find Sam's PC in the network to communicate with her and inform her of the changes. She felt Sam was reassured; Angéla had taken another burden of responsibility off her shoulders. Angéla then decided to wander around the ship's various servers. Unfortunately, she didn't understand Atlantean writing. She soon gave up reading. The Atlantean alphabet scrolled before her eyes, but it was Chinese to her if the writing seemed familiar. She flipped to another window on her computer to change screens. She blinked as the scrolling ancient writing remained imprinted on her retina. A headache appeared. On the screen, an aerial view of a landscape served as background. Then she made up her mind, opened several application windows and started working on those old researches in different scientific fields such as medicine, or quantum physics. She scrolled through the various options available to her. They went into fast mode on the screen to choose one. There was something for everyone. She opened a folder named with numbers. To an outsider this meant nothing, but to her it must have meant something. Newspaper clippings, scientific articles, videos scrolled past. All the documents scrolled by, and she sorted them with precision and speed, all the while making notes on sheets of paper. She stared intently at the screen while her pen ran through her notepad.
From time to time, she tidied up her notes and hung them on the wall.
Mitchell trained with Teal'c, joined by Vala, John and Jack.
-'How do you like Angela these days?" Mitchell asked Teal'c, with whom he was fighting, right next to Vala and John.
-'Calm'.
-'Yeah a little too much'.
-'And a little tired'.
-'Ah,' said Mitchell, parrying an attack.
-'Oh, it's only temporary," assured John.
-'Why these questions? Do you know anything more?" questioned Teal'c in turn, intrigued.
-'No,' Mitchell lied, 'it's just that I wondered what she was thinking inside about this mission.
-'Do you think she's having a hard time?'
-'Even if she did, she wouldn't say anything or let anything show," said John, dodging a blow from Vala.
-'Yes, it brings back bad memories and I'm afraid she'll close in on herself'.
-'And she started isolating herself from day one," said Teal'c.
-'Yes,' sighs Mitchell.
-'I wouldn't worry if I were you, she's a loner, she needs to be alone', said Jack C., who hadn't spoken until now putting a weight down.
-'Where is she now?" asked Vala, attacking John from below.
-'In her room, I think, but when she goes out there, she either goes to the gym or the library when no one's there , she avoids contact,' said Mitchell.
-'She needs to be alone, plus she feels useless,'
Teal'c repeated, confirming what John had said.
-'She told you about it,' Mitchell asked.
-'No, but all young people are like that, she doesn't even fly, she's just there to "starting the ship. it must be frustrating for her, that's all and she must be bored so she keeps herself busy as she can', said Teal'c, 'and then it's better she doesn't run into certain people', whispering as he looks at Jack and John.
-'They don't seem to mind that he's gone," Mitchell whispered.
-'Yeah, maybe they're used to it, why don't we change opponents,' Teal'c suggested.
-'Why not?' said Vala, 'I'll take Mitchell as my opponent.
-'Good', said Teal'c, 'Good luck to you Cameron', while Vala was already moving off to wait for Mitchell.
-'Why?
-'You're going to be interrogated. Daniel's been through this before'.
-' ?'
-'About Angéla'.
-'There's that prophecy again,' sighed Mitchell.
-'Um, I don't think so', said Teal'c, motioning to Jack C to start a fight.
-'Jealousy?' asked Mitchell.
- "Maybe," said Teal'c simply, before opening the fight with a brief salute.
Mitchell approached Vala, who was already ready to begin.
- "It's been a long time," said Vala, smiling.
-'Indeed'.
-'I had a long talk with Daniel', he said, getting straight to the point, "and we made up".
-'That's good,' said Mitchell, countering Vala's blow aimed at his shoulder.
-'But there's always a point where we disagree'.
-'One point's good enough,' laugh Mitchell.
Vala shot at him.
-'And so I was saying that I'd like to have your opinion on this little disagreement'.
- 'Okay, what was that about?' said Mitchell, thinking about what Teal'c had told him.
-'Angéla. His old relationship with her is blinding him,' Vala said, hitting harder than she meant to, suggesting she was furious.
-'Ah, you know,' said Mitchell, pretending not to have noticed the attack.
-'Yes', said Vala, amplifying the blows in anger. 'Was it jealousy?'
- 'What's the problem?' asked Mitchell, who narrowly dodged a blow, full of hatred.
-'I think his judgment is unreliable'.
-'You said that already,' Mitchell said.
-'About Angela's personality and abilities,' Vala said more calmly.
-'What do you mean?', attacking this time.
-'He's an unstable person'.
-'We've already had this conversation, Vala'.
-'Yes, and I still think so, and from what you said, I know I'm not wrong'.
-'So what makes it unstable?'
Vala didn't know what to say. She couldn't explain her discomfort with simple words:
-'I don't know, I just feel it, it's weird'.
-'Look, she's been through so much, she can be a bit eccentric,' defended Mitchell, even though minutes before he'd seen her develop a new telekinetic power.
-'I guess you're right', said Vala, even though she saw Mitchell's hesitation.
-'Believe me, she suffered a lot both physically and morally', recalling she had told him about the torture, 'I lived with her for months during my convalescence and felt her pain too', Mitchell finishes, attacking her right knee.
-'Lived?'
-'We shared the same hospital room when I had my accident... we helped each other get through it, or rather she helped me not to sink. I can tell you she's a good person. It's thanks to her that I'm here,' Mitchell said, pointing to the room leaving a door open for Vala to grab, punching her in the stomach.
-'Hm', thought Vala.
He too was bewitched by Angela.
-'But what really bothers me is that she doesn't fit in. She isolates herself, as you said. She's only with us when we're eating, and even then she's sometimes elsewhere'.
-'That's true,' admitted Mitchell, 'I'll talk to her about it, but she's already had problems with John and Jack'.
-' ?'
-'They knew each other before, it would take a long time to explain', regretting having mentioned it, 'and then Sam keeps her busy a bit s o she doesn't feel useless'.
-'Yeah, she spends too much time with Daniel and Sam'.
-'Daniel?'
-Yes'.
-'I didn't know'.
-'Well, they don't really spend much time together,' said Vala, happy to know something Mitchell didn't know, 'she goes to the library and they never talk, they look at each other now and then but nothing. They tried to play chess but Angéla got bored very quickly because Daniel must not be a good enough opponent for her'.
-'But he can play well', said Mitchell.
-'Yes, well, she crushed him in five minutes. In fact, they often bump into each other, and they're rather awkward when they see each other; it's more like they're trying to avoid each other. I found him pathetic, since their story ended a long time ago. Do you think that's why she isolates herself to avoid running into each other?'
-'I don't think so, she's not the type to run away. She just wants to be alone for a while'.
-'Isolating a member is not good for the team," Vala remarked.
-'I told you I was going to talk to him about it. I've had enough, let's take a break," said Mitchell.
-'Anyway, it's almost time to eat. I'm going to shower', Vala finished, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat from her face, seeing that she wasn't going to get anything more out of this conversation.
-'We'd better do the same', said Teal'c, who had also stopped his fight with Jack C, while John rested.
-'Yeah,' said Jack C.
-'I wonder if Sam managed to change the meal menu,' said John resting a weight on his side.
-I don't think so. It's not the most urgent thing right now', said Mitchell.
They were on the second day of their trip and Mitchell was already worried about the state of the newcomers. Jack and John didn't like the new and foreign. They distrusted them. At every meal, Jack was wary of his food. He waited until the others had started eating. Angéla accepted the strange, but she wasn't used to staying cooped up and mingling. Besides, the situation embarrassed her; her gifts frightened her and him too. This mission seemed to be disturbing his natural equilibrium. He decided to go and get her something to eat. When he entered the young woman's room. He knew h 't need to announce himself, as she always knew when he came to visit, so why should that change now. She was sitting crosslegged on her bed in front of the screens, among the sheets scattered around her, it was chaos. But that wasn't all. Sheets now lined the walls. Sheets filled with mathematical formulas. In front of her, screens scrolled barely visible writing at rapid speed. Angéla was frozen, pen in hand. She had stopped writing.
-'I let myself in,' said Mitchell.
She didn't answer him. He walked past her. His gaze was lost somewhere in the screens.
-'What are you doing?' continued Mitchell, a little worried by the young woman's lack of reaction.
She still didn't react. She seemed to continue reading even though he was in front of her. He approached her. She blinked and came to.
-'Excuse me, I was in my thoughts,' said Angela trying to put her papers in order, 'you were saying?'
-'I was wondering what you're up to? You can read there'; said Mitchell, watching the screen scroll.
-'Yeah diagonally', said Angéla as she stands up, 'I'm solving equations for Sam and doing research'.
-'Yeah, I can see that', pointing to the wall, 'and you can't do it later! Besides, it's not your job to do it'.
-'It's for the shield, it's better to boost it as soon as possible and she can't do everything, she's alone for a ship that should be controlled by at least three engineers. And since I have the skills to help her, I just do it. And I've been working on it since last night'.
-You'd better get out of your room and mingle with the crowd'.
-'But I'm going out, I was...'
-'Yes, but to lock yourself in a gym or the library'.
-'You don't live at my pace, I live at night and early in the morning'.
-'Handy when everyone's asleep, as it happens'.
-'What do you want from me?', said Angéla, unhooking the sheets from the wall and putting them back in order, 'I'm already here and that's good, I'm playing my part'.
-'Don't be alone, that's all I'm asking you'.
-Why? I'm not alone! I'm connected to Sam all the time,' said Angéla.
-'I mean out of the communication between two screens. Look at you... you're making strange things. Your powers are growing and changing like crazy," said a worried Mitchell, "and now I see you reading documents on several screens at once at high speed. When you said you'd gone from analog to digital, I wasn't thinking of this!'
-What do you mean," said Angéla, "I'm fine.
-'I know, and Sam told me, but I'm frightened by the way your condition is evolving'.
Angéla stopped sorting through her documents. She took Mitchell's hand and drew him towards her bed.
-'I'm fine, Cameron. Nothing's going to happen to me, at least not for a long time. You don't have to worry about me. It scares me too, but what can I do? I'm like this now and I've just got to live with it, haven't I?'
-'Yes, but if you don't stay on your own, we can help you to forget them, not to think about them'.
-'Maybe you and Sam, but John or Jack C. wouldn't miss a chance to remark. Or even Daniel, who expects me to perform a miracle. And Jack's amused b situation. I know that Sam and Daniel are studying my case, Sam more to help me to remove the effects of these change Jack triggered in me. And Daniel, well, God only knows what he wants. He seems more fascinated by my case than worried. Not that he's not concerned about my state of health, I just mean that... I don't know how to put it, he's rather interested in my ability to survive...', said Angéla in her thoughts still with Mitchell's hand in hers, 'so I don't think it's possible to ignore all that'.
-'Look at the table, we're not talking about it'.
-'Yeah', said Angéla looking unconvinced, 'it's up to you, but I like being alone, I'm an old lone wolf. Let's play a game of chess tomorrow, shall we?'
-Okay, but I haven't improved much since last time. Let's eat ?', said Mitchell.
-Yeah, I'm starving," said Angela, letting go of Mitchell's hand and immediately regretting the contact.
-'Solving formulas, I guess, whets the appetite,' said Mitchell.
-'Oh yes!'
-'Hence Sam's appetite'.
-'Yeah, partly'.
-'Tell me, you said you were researching, what was it about?" said Mitchell, rising to his feet.
-'Nothing important'.
-'That is,' said Mitchell suspiciously.
-'I was just looking at mission reports', sighed Angela, 'to gather information'.
-Jack's not going to be happy about you hacking into and downloading these confidential files'.
She shrugged.
-'Well, he won't be'.
-'Ah yes'.
-'What do you want in exchange for your silence?' joked Angela, approaching Mitchell.
-'Let me win at chess'.
-'That's all,' laughed Angéla, 'Cameron you're a gentleman, a man would have taken the opportunity to ask certain things you know a bit intimate'.
-'I don't need details,' said Mitchell, even though the thought had crossed his mind.
Angéla had no doubt sensed his thoughts, for she began sorting through the documents to hide her confusion.
-'Very well, I'll let you win," said Angéla to hide her embarrassment.
Mitchell didn't know what to say. He knew she could read people's minds like reading a book. But these last thoughts had sprung up without warning and he didn't have time to hide them. He cursed himself. He didn't like finding himself in this state of confusion. Angéla stuffed a pile of sheets into a folder intended for Sam. She turned off the screens one by one, closed the applications on her PC and put it to sleep.
-'Oh, I've started a logbook on the ship too, to summarize our days here', continued Angéla, breaking the heavy silence, 'I've also made some calculations for communications...we'll be able to send these little reports back to planet Earth'.
- "It would be nice,' Mitchell said understandingly, 'for Angela to want to contact these relatives,but how do we know they'll receive them well?'
-'I've inserted an acknowledgement of receipt in the dispatch protocol," said Angéla as she leaves her room.
-'And how do I know no one else is reading it'.
-'I don't know yet, I'll have to talk to Sam, but I was thinking of a code, but we'd have to agree on it first. Besides, if we want to change the code often, it'll make it more difficult. But we can always try, can't we?', said Angéla.
-'I don't know. I think it's better not to take any risks, because if we reveal our position to the enemy, without the shield at maximum capacity, we won't last. We need to be sure that the message is received by the right recipient without any possible interception'.
-'Yeah, you're right," said Angéla, a little disappointed.
-'But once we're there, maybe we can send some news through the door,' add Mitchell, 'which would be great, by the way'
. -'Unless I can access the ship's stargate and get it to work'.
-'We'll see," said Mitchell.
They arrived at the cafeteria, Mitchell took a tray, followed by Angéla. They ordered a meal. They were the first to arrive. In a flash of light, they were served. The meal was ready and hot. They sat down in front of the aquarium's bay window, Angéla's favorite place to observe the organisms in the water. She was fascinated by the aquatic biomass on the other side. They sat facing each other. The others arrived in dribs and drabs. They ate in the usual bustle. Angéla was discussing her project with Sam, who told her that she was making no progress on the communication system. She looked tired, as Sam was working without a break. When she handed over her calculations, Angéla was delighted to see that Sam was relieved. Of course, the latter would have to check the calculations, correct the errors and modify them to suit the situation, since Angéla had tried t o adapt these measurements to the ship, but without success; she wasn't used to working on such a large scale, with such a large energy input. And these results could be incompatible with the situation. Angéla glanced meaningfully at Mitchell, who had also seen Sam's relief. Angela was right, Sam needed help. When Rod was around, he was a great help. What's more, Sam didn't ask him about his speed in achieving these results, despite Mitchell's insistent gaze. Sam even hid her surprise; Angéla never ceased to amaze her. Sam promised to take care of it as soon as possible and to find a way of communicating. Jack O, too, seemed pleased to se worrying but rapid progress of the results of Angéla's studies on the ship. What mattered to him was the result, and he didn't know what it was. And he didn't mind them working so fast together. After lunch, they all went about their business. It was the last part of the afternoon. They hadn't even seen the time, caught up in their conversation. Angéla reconnected to her PC, entered her activation, and ran an analysis to check her calculations and be sure of her model. She'd been positive on previous occasions, but wanted to be sure of her stability before Sam started testing. Then she opened a word-processing application.
Hope logbook
10 a.m.
Once on board, it turned out that the ship looked much larger from the inside than from the outside.
A tour of the ship includes the cafeteria, with its strange aquarium containing unknown organisms, and an infirmary with highly-developed technology. This room gives me the creeps. No secrets are hidden here. What's more, it's self-contained. As we entered, we were given a detailed analysis of Daniel. The program even detected an old flu as well as a disease unknown to her. I felt in danger, exposed. I was afraid of what the analyses might reveal. Panic overcame me and I was relieved to hear Sam announce that we were leaving. Yet as I left the room, a shiver ran down the back of my neck. And I knew I'd been discovered by this room on the way back, as I pondered this new problem. But I was interrupted in my thoughts by another problem: flying the craft, the vessel called Espoir.
10:30 a.m.
Take-off was accident-free. The start was a success, despite the tension I felt. Indeed, I was tense for this crucial moment. But as I met Mitchell and Sam's confident gaze, I took off.
10:45 a.m.
Settling into our respective rooms.
Fortunately Sam reminded Vala that we could each have our own room).
11 a.m.
I need to stretch my legs. The star plot seemed like the right place. I passed Sam in the middle of a discussion with Jack. I watched them for a moment and felt the chemistry between them. I smiled inwardly. Then I continued on my way to the plot. Once there, I gazed dreamily at the stars. I didn't recognize the stars in relation to the Earth's position. I knew I was looking at the sky, but at a different point in the universe. The Earth could also be among its stars - my mind flew among the stars. The ceiling intrigued me too, as I could see how fast we were traveling, which made me dizzy. After a while, I felt a presence, I knew it was Teal'c, I ordered myself to calm down. But all went well. Teal'c tried to calm my tension. I decided to make up with him. The visit to the library impressed me; all those books in columns made me dream. But the most intriguing were the game boards, especially the first one. Teal'c was impressed by the room's décor. He didn't notice my concern. I took a closer look at the game board, which was a chess set. It was a banal game that I knew very well, so why did my heart begin to beat faster. The pieces had no human form. I picked up a piece that must have been a queen. I recognized a mermaid. Her features had been sculpted with precision. These features seemed real. I shivered. I told myself they were just game pieces, but at the sight of them, I was worried. In fact, I wondered what the universe was really hiding - I couldn't even imagine. Rod's image flashed through my mind. I put the piece down a little too suddenly, as if it were going to burn me. I tried to identify the other pieces without touching them. In spite of myself, I was drawn back to the game board. Luckily, Teal'c called me, for I couldn't break the spell. I was afraid my gaze would plunge forever into that of the mermaid. Teal'c had been observing a strange machine, which he thought was a piano. I, too, was intrigued by this "piano" and even played a musical tune like (I remembered a spring day when the sun finally broke through the clouds, when my mother had taught me to read sheet music. This memory hurt me). Leaving that room was difficult, because it felt so soothing and tranquil. Yet later, I couldn't go back. The next room was worse. It was frightening, yet there was nothing special about it apart from the stasis cells. (It reminded me of a death chamber. I immediately imagined lifeless bodies lying there. Another memory came to mind. This time less pleasant: my parents' funeral).
Vala tidied up her room. I can hear her ranting because she chose the smallest room. I think she had a problem with the door. I assured her that the door worked fine (and I know she didn't tell me everything, but I didn't insist so as not to hear her complain again).
Daniel was trying to interpret the prophecy (he too was grumbling because Vala wouldn't let him think for himself).
12 hours
The team ate. I kept looking at the aquariums, surprised by the diversity of species present. I counted a dozen of all sizes. I hardly spoke. Instead, I listened to the animated conversations.
1 p.m.
Jack O joined us for lunch. The team was in good spirits. Vala stole food from the plate of her neighbor, Daniel. Jack was reluctant to eat. I saw him pawing at his food with the tip of his fork, sorting it out. He must have been wondering how long this food had been on the ship, given his age. I reassured him with a look and a bite potato (well, what looked like one). Vala and Daniel looked close. Although Daniel seemed annoyed by Vala's behavior ( I didn't even feel jealous, perhaps because I'd drawn a line under our relationship). I met Sam's gaze and, by silent agreement, we stood up. I followed her. I reached for my tray and Sam's and was surprised to see them disappear. I looked at Sam, who shrugged. I quickly caught up with her.
Once in the control room, I explained what I wanted to do. I suggested connecting the control screens to our rooms and then studying the shields. I could tell she was relieved that I'd offered to help. Although I doubted I could be of much help. My knowledge of physics wasn't really applicable to the situation, but I'll do what I can.
Then I joined Teal'c.
2 p.m.
Teal'c suggested a little training. At first, we talked more than we worked. Vala was too talkative, and always will be. I was relieved when she left when Teal'c offered her a fight (I suspect Teal'c deliberately scared her off. He wanted to get rid of her too).
Jack and Teal'c did battle. I was impressed by how well the General was doing, considering his age (but let's not remind him that he's old). And then he left (tired, I'm sure).
The others (well, God only knows)
4 p.m.
Finally, the fighting began. Teal'c led the warm-ups. I decided to observe. The fights were John vs Jack and Mitchell vs Teal'c. I searched the room and found some electrodes. Studying the screen, I immediately thought of Sam's virtual world system. I suggested to Teal'c that he drop the weapons and the fighting and try out my idea. Confidently, he agreed. As it turned out, I was right: the system was indeed a virtual combat system, but much more developed than Sam's. For the combat took place in real time, in a virtual world. For the fighting was in real time, with no need to be unconscious. The opponent was a highly realistic 3D hologram system. It was still a very physical exercise, as you had to actually make the gestures. But there was no pain when you received the blows. The player had to make movements and hit the opponent. Some moves scored more points than others. I kept an eye on the data while Teal'c faced his first opponent, an infantryman in light armor carrying a long stick. I asked the machine to give Teal'c the same weapon and a long stick appeared in his hand. We had a lot of fun. From time to time, John gave me discreet glances, which I ignored.
6 p.m.
I isolated myself in my room to begin the programming I'd promised Sam.
Sam always makes these settings. Daniel decided to move into the library.
7 p.m.
We meet in the dining room for dinner. Everything went well. I saw John making an effort to fit in. He spoke with Vala (which seemed to relieve Daniel). Jack discussed his experiences with Sam and Mitchell. Jack O again told me one of his anecdotes while Teal'c nodded or added details. (This bored me deeply). I listened with one ear, as was my wont in these situations. Then, seeing that I was distracted, he teased Daniel. He was trying to put me at ease and I thank him for that, but I'm not a child anymore. I could adapt to different situations without a problem. In fact, I still didn't realize what was happening to me. But these new revelations about the universe hit me hard later that evening. (And it hurt)
9 p.m.
Sam finally paused. According to my screens, she was with Daniel in the library. He must have been playing chess.
Daniel asked about these advances as he brought his rider forward. She quickly summarized the situation. But there was something else on Sam's mind. She asked him if he'd had time to talk to Angela since they'd come aboard.
-'No. Didn't really have time'.
-'Yeah, but you look worried all the same, and I know you're worried about her,' said Sam, moving his rook forward to touch Daniel's rider.
-'She's always alone'.
-'She worked on the ship, I still have the same conversation'.
-' ?'
-'I know Cameron's worried too, she just wants to help me'.
-'But she could also do other things. I know you're busy, but I don't like to see her alone', said Daniel, advancing a pawn in sacrifice.
-'Is she alone again tonight?'
-'Yes', sigh Daniel, 'Mitchell said she wants to be left alone then she has her diary project'.
-'What does Jack say,' asked Sam.
-'He leaves her alone. He uses the argument of the unknown'.
-'yeah'.
Jack was reading him a book in his room. Teal'c, John, Jack S. and Mitchell were playing cards. Vala, well, God only knows what she was doing in her room (digging a tunnel to steal the painting because I know she's got eyes on it).
10 p.m.
All is silent. I decided to go for a walk. I grabbed a pencil and some paper and headed for the cafeteria. I took my favorite seat, right in front of the bay window. I started scribbling formulas. I wanted to start with the ship's protection system. I wanted to calculate the energy needed to get it to 100%. After 20 minutes, I got a gigantic, incoherent result. The figures obtained were far too large. I put down my pen. My gaze wandered to the depths of the pool in front of me. Observing the specimens behind the glass fascinated me. I began to draw them. After a while, I got bored of drawing and decided to stretch my legs a little. As I passed the gym door, I hesitated. The open door was so welcoming. All around was silence. I decided to go in. This afternoon, while browsing the system, I'd seen relaxation exercises in addition to the physical ones. I took a cushion in a corner and connected to the control modules. I settled myself in the center of the room, connecting with the electrodes. I turned my back on the stasis cells, the sight of which frightened me. I started the program. A soft, almost imperceptible melody began. Candles also appeared throughout the room. Cool! I wasn't sure whether it was an illusion, a hologram or even reality. In any case, the smell was real. It was a sweet, slightly pigmented scent. The scent soothed the atmosphere. I relaxed my arms along my legs. I was sitting cross-legged. Then my mind began to wander, perhaps under the effect of a drug. But then a crazy idea came to me: I wanted to get rid of the electricity accumulated during my contact with Mitchell. So another program was triggered, conjuring up a glass cube. Right away, I couldn't see the point. Thanks to the perfumes, I was already in a trance-like state. My gestures were becoming automatic. I read the instructions supplied with the program, and a screen displayed images of demonstrations. I concentrated my excess energy in my fingertips, paying attention to the intensity of the current. Gradually, an electric halo formed at my fingertips. I slowly moved my hands towards the cube, no longer in control. Finally, I approached the cube. For fear of losing control, I slowly transmitted the energy in small, rhythmic pulses towards the cube. The intensity gradually diminished at my fingertips as the cube accumulated current. During the process, I held my breath, my heart racing. Something was very wrong with me. What I'd done was worthy of a science-fiction movie or even a comic-book hero like Heroes with the famous Peter Petrelli or even Elle. A series she found pathetic. Once the electricity had been transferred, the electricity in the cube had formed a ball, the same kind she'd formed when she met Daniel on her first visit to the ship. The ball was much smaller and more concentrated. It also faded faster, but traces of the electricity were still visible. Yet my hands were drawn to the cube as if to catch the dissipating energy. Current was beginning to appear again at my fingertips. I calmed them with my will, but my hands kept moving towards the cube. I was no longer in control. There must have been drugs in the air. My brain was numb from the struggle. I managed not to touch the cube, but I kept staring at it so as not to weaken. Then everything happened so fast, I thought I saw the cube moving, shifting slightly, I became frightened and scrambled to my feet. The spell had been broken. I disconnected in a panic, making the candles, the cube and the scents disappear. Without thinking, I took my notes and fled to my room, still intoxicated by the scents. Then fatigue overtook me. My eyelids grew heavy. Come to think of it, I'd never been so exhausted in my life.
She paused in her account. She wondered if she'd described what she'd experienced at that moment, and hoped she hadn't forgotten anything. Then she continued.
Second day
7 hours
I got up with a headache. Mitchell and I emerged from our rooms at the same time to do our jogs together. During our run, I kept silence, my mind still foggy. I still hadn't digested what I'd done the day before, and wondered if I'd even been dreaming.
9 a.m.
The team ate breakfast, but everyone arrived at their own time, unlike the day before. They weren't all early risers.
Daniel is still working at the library. I wonder if he fell asleep there. But there was so much information, he didn't know where to start. Vala was playing with the piano by touching any key. So instead of working, Daniel spent his time giving Vala murderous looks for making too much noise.
1 p.m.
The rest of the day was unremarkable (unfortunately). I wanted to play the piano a little, as the memory of my mother had made me feel better yesterday. So I played a tune. Daniel looked at me from time to time, but not with murderous glances, which annoyed Vala. So she left the library.
Daniel heard the melody as he made his way to the bookcase where he had left some notes. Angéla was sitting there in front of the piano. He smiled; of course she had her back to him, but he could admire her all the same. Vala arrived next. She too looked at Angéla with fascination. They admire strength she exuded. Today, she was wearing wide-leg, lowrise jeans. On top, she wore a blue sequined tank top with thin straps and a light leather jacket. She seemed to be doing just fine. Her face was serene and focused. He settled down and began reading his morning notes, Vala left without warning.
After 30 minutes, he abandoned his notes. The melody lulled him too much and he found it hard to concentrate. The presence of the young woman didn't help matters either. He looked at her more and more attentively, pensively. Without realizing it, he joined her. He sat down right next to her. He watched Angéla's slender hands move across the keyboard without hesitation. Then his gaze moved to her face. He lingered on the shape of her lips, her eyes so bright with life. Her soft hair fell to her shoulders. It was as black as ever, but now white streaks ran through it.
-'I like your new locks,' said Daniel without meaning to, as he didn't want to interrupt Angéla's music.
But Angéla stopped and looked at him intensely.
-'They're not highlights,' Angéla finally said, seeing that he wasn't mocking her.
She resumed the music.
-'I don't understand'.
-'I think I'm worrying too much...no, actually, I think I'm having a melanin production problem with my tumor. My brain must be starting to screw up, it's been acting up lately. It's starting with a little local depigmentation of the hair, then I suppose it'll be general. Then it's going to reach the iris area of the eyes. Well, I'll let you get on with your work, I can see I'm in your way,' said Angéla, getting up without giving Daniel time to reply.
3 p.m.
I've been killing infantrymen, soldiers and monsters for an hour now. Out of doubt, I wanted to repeat yesterday's experience. For me, all this had been nothing more than a dream. But then Cameron came along, which confused me, but I had nothing to hide from him, and besides, he'd never judged me. I had no secrets from him (at least not on that level).
The phenomenon was witnessed again.
6 p.m.
I showered and then worked for Sam on the shield. I know it was more to think about something else, to forget the look Cameron had given me. The same look he'd given me when he picked me up for lunch. I was aware of my gradual transformation, but until then I'd considered it normal. I'd always had exceptional abilities. I'd always been good at complex calculations, and I'd put my rapid progress down to my efforts during my apprenticeship and the knowledge I'd acquired. But now I doubted it, even though it hurt. I know Mitchell and Sam worry behind my back.
Meals.
9 p.m.
I shut myself away in my room again to type this report. Jack O pays me a visit, and I can hear him walking down the corridor. I even sense his hesitation at the door. I smile, either frightened or impressed Jack. So I'll stop here for the moment and welcome him.
Angéla looked at her last lines with satisfaction. She closed all the applications and screens except the middle one, which was connected to the whole ship and to Sam.