A crack of thunder rumbled the village causing the ground beneath to quake, Knocking things down inside the village huts and causing the villagers to panic.
Watching them run around gathering materials and stocking their homes with food to last them until this storm subsided was far more entertaining to watch than to assist.
The others, Miroku and Sango were helping the older priestess gather up medicinal herbs, while I was left on guard duty.
which was fine by me, I enjoyed the time alone without being bothered or questioned. It gave me room to breathe.
The last few days were stifling. Miroku would barely say a word to me and Sango remained silent, yet glared Dagger's while death gripping Hiraikots like she wanted to lop off my head with it...and Kagome... hasn't been back to the feudal era since...she ran into me talking with Kikyo.
The rain began to fall pretty intensely in huge big droplets, a flash of lightning followed by a crack of thunder, it echoed all around. The rain is soaking me...but numbing me all at the same time.
Mentally I was stuck, and my emotions were at war with my heart. I tried explaining my reasoning but no one truly listens. I know me going to Kikyo angers Kagome...I see it ALL the time, and I know Kagome probably feels a sense of betrayal every time I run to Kikyo's aid. I know...I know how it's tearing her apart...and I know eventually she's gonna get tired of the pain and leave ...and leave me to my stupid decisions. I'm not blinded by Kagome's affections, and I'm not blind to her pain. I'm just stuck not knowing in what direction to go
I'm bound by an oath to Kikyo, Yet my heart no longer longs for her like it once used too.
I've known for a while now that I have fallen in love with Kagome, but...due to my oath I'm not free to give her my heart.
The rain continues to pour and I welcome it. The rain hid my grief and my tears. I wanted so badly to run to the well and engulf myself in everything that was Kagome. I wanted her in ways I've never wanted anyone else in my entire life..and it breaks me...that I'm breaking her by going to Kikyo.. I'm killing the light that Shawn so brightly in her eyes that I'm sure radiated from her pure soul. A light that is now barely noticeable in the darkness that now shadows them.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head back letting the rain wash away evidence of foreign trails. How much more of this can I take I wonder, and how much more pain is Kagome willing to take before she's had enough
Sango watched him from the window as he stood frozen like a statue on the hillside on watch, while she and the Monk finished helping Kiyada.
She wanted so badly to Strom up to him and knock some damn sense into his pea sized brain...she was so tired of his actions hurting Kagome...so tired of Kagome's feelings being pushed aside like they didn't matter. But when she looked up at him and saw what she saw she kinda felt sorry for the half demon. From this distance and from the expression he was expressing it looked like he was kinda Torn.
A hand squeezed her shoulder. " Ya know despite how coldhearted Inuyasha Seems, I'm sure his confused as well" Miroku stated
" CONFUSED." Sango yelled, then snorted. " how can he be confused...it's plain as day, anyone who's anyone can see that Kagome loves that two timing Mongol" she crosses her arms and huffed. " If only he opened his eyes he'd see it too". she whispered beneath her breath. Miroku sighed and nodded.
" It may not be that simple" he looked up at Inuyasha and tried putting himself in his friends shoes...well maybe his friend's kimono since Inuyasha doesn't wear shoes.." I'm sure there's a reason why he keeps meeting up with Kikyo, I don't think it's purposely to hurt Kagome, we didn't even give him a chance to explain and automatically assumed the worse. For all we know, maybe his just going to gather information..but we don't know cause we never let him talk, the last few days we've been cold towards him Sango...don't you think Inuyasha deserves to explain his side at least. ?"
She huffed and turned her head away. " perhaps your right " she said between clinched teeth. " Miroku snickered. As he watched his beloved demon Slayer walk away grumbling while reaching for her weapon. She looked back and Rose a brow " let's go talk to him"
It was heavy, the weight of everything and then some. I felt like boulders were weighing me down...was it grief...or was it guilt that felt tacky and sticky in the back of his parched throat. I heard voices approach and tilted my head to the side to see both Sango and Miroku walking up to greet me. I sighed heavily and knew what was coming so I braced myself for whatever hell was gonna come my way. Sangos expression was untrustworthy and so was her tightly profound grip on Hiraikotsu.
I already knew what was heading my way. I felt it for days. But they didn't understand the emotional crisis I was struggling with, in the back of their minds I'm just... pushing Kagome away or ignoring her feelings, in reality I just wanna hold her...and never let go.
I inhaled a deep breath, and closed my eyes. If this was gonna turn into a childish argument I really didn't have time for it. They both reached me and stood a good few inches away. Miroku's mouth was moving...but I couldn't make out what he was saying cause the rain was coming down in buckets. The droplets fell and echoed all around me, it was blocking out most of the sounds around me and making listening for danger almost impossible...it was loud and welcoming.
Miroku and Sango both soaked through. " Inuyasha?" Miroku hollered out. " why don't you come inside out of the rain..." he said loudly for his half demon companion to hear. Inuyasha looked past them like their presence wasn't even known. Sango looked at Miroku and he shrugged and walked up closer, maybe the wind and rain were causing Inuyasha trouble, the monk thought.
" Inuyasha"...Miroku reaches out and tugged on his kimono to get his attention. He blinked a few times and his cool gaze landed upon Miroku who hurriedly removed his hand holding both up in defense.
I turned my gaze towards Sango, then back at Miroku, my anger beneath the surface ablaze. Instead of replying back, I remained silent and didn't acknowledge either of their existence as I walked past them and descended down the hill. Another crack of thunder rumbled and a few flashes of lightning lit up the forest floor and the valley below. And just like the fire in the pit of my stomach I once again, welcomed it
The Monk and The demon slayer were left speechless and morbidly pissed off.
Miroku clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, arms crossed, rain drops dripping off the ends of his hair. Glaring Dagger's at his extremely petty half demon companion.
The slayer on the other hand was cursing under her breath, plotting ways of ripping his head off with her Hiraikotsu, her teeth chattering from being soaked through to the bone. " let's hurry and get back before the both of us catch our death, I'm sure he'll come around "
Once I got to the hut I just stopped and looked onwards, onwards towards the forest that homed her well. The forest that became unluckily named by me. I wondered if she was laying in her bed, or if she cried herself to sleep. Thinking about Kagome laying there bawling her eyes out in pain, because of me..made my stomach feel sour. I clinched my shaking fist and and bowed my head... I couldn't accept it...I couldn't stand the idea of her in pain... because of me.
As soon as I lifted my foot to place it in front of me in the direction my heart was wanting to go, I could no longer stop myself from sprinting towards the well. I need to explain, I need her to understand my side before it's too late, before I lose her entirely. The thought of Kagome leaving and never coming back ..broke something in me, I didn't realize it until I was half way to the well, I licked my bottom lip and tasted blood. Imagining Kagome saying good bye caused me to clinch my teeth into my lip.
I was just a few centimeters away when I heard a loud. " HIRAIKOTSU". I turned around just in enough time to duck my head before being struck by Sangos weapon. She was huffing and puffing and gasping for oxygen. When the humongous boomerang returned to her hands. She stood there unmoved and zeroed in on my presence... waiting for an outburst but instead received nothing but silence...she was waiting for me to go haywire so she just waited and waited, while time was ticking by. " Don't you dare go near that well, until you figure your shit out Inuyasha" her bottom lip started to quiver.
" Please, don't go to Kagome if you're just gonna continue hurting her , I'm sorry that Miroku and I have been giving you the cold shoulder, it's just that.. seeing her so numb to everything is so...heartbreaking. Kagome has always been a good hearted and understanding person and even though she understands your situation, i can see it destroying her as well.
We understand that Kikyo and you were betrayed betra by the other...we understand that your time with each other was forced to end by someone else's hand..and that you will always love her. We can't force you to make a decision Inuyasha. But if you go down that well now, without making a clear choice or pure intentions then don't go. If you're just going to hurt her, don't . She has dealt with your betrayal enough " Her last words shook out and tears started streaming down her face.
I was stunned, if I only saw the aftermath of Kagome's suffering, the others saw the beginning, they had to...cause when I'd run off they'd all be there to watch her sorrow.
What I'd come back to was minimal compared to what they'd be left to witness. Did my running off to talk with Kikyo destroy her that much? did she love me that wholeheartedly that watching me run off, even though she understood...kinda.
" I won't allow it" words left my lips before I could stop them. " I won't allow Kagome to continuously be torn by my choices. I can't stand it anymore. " my voice crackled. " you and the monk assume I'm going to Kikyo due to love?. You both assume that I'm blind to Kagome's pain, but I'm not. In fact I feel the bulk of her pain as if it were my own, I see her lifeless eyes and realize the light in them is fading because of me...I see it...all the time. And my running to meet Kikyo isn't one made by love, it's made by oath. " my voice started getting loud cause I was getting angry.
Sango gasped. " what do you mean, by oath?"
When my eyes met hers she gasped in shock. My rage was burning beneath the surface of my skin. " I don't LOVE Kikyo, I haven't LOVED Kikyo. I go to Kikyo due to a promise that was made when she was resurrected. A promise to avenge her soul. I ain't bound by passionate infections, more by duty. I tried explaining dozens of not MILLION'S of times , but neither you or Miroku would listen. You're supposed to be my friends but you automatically assume the worst of me. Do you think I for one, enjoy seeing Kagome suffer? Do you think...I enjoy WATCHING her in pain?. Do you think someone like me who LOVES the absolute shit out of her enjoys watching her light disappear and be replaced by hopelessness and betrayal. " it started then and I couldn't stop it...Tears were freely falling from my eyes and I didn't do anything to hide them, I let them be noticed cause my pain needed to be justified.
" WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YOU AND MIROKU TAKE ME FOR, HUH?. To think and believe that I'm completely unaffected by all this, don't you know I'm capable of emotions. Or did you both FORGET I'm half human, that I ain't just a heartless demon who thinks watching the person he loves in pain is a way to pass time. " My words ended venomously, but I didn't care. I got tired of being wrongly accused by people who were supposed to be my friends. I got tired of not being HEARD or understood, and being made into this character of a heartless, emotionless, dumbfounded two timing prick.
Miroku showed up then, completely out of breath, most likely he ran off once he realized Sango wasn't where she was supposed to be , he got there just when I finished what I needed to say. Sango was frozen, and Miroku was completely clueless about what had happened.
I turned away from them and continued towards the well. I'm sure Sango will inform Miroku of our deep brewing chat. Right now, I needed to make amends and set things right.
Miroku huffed and looked at Sango who hasn't spoken a word since he arrived at their location. Something must've conspired to cause Sango to be so quiet
Miroku watched as Inuyasha's form disappeared within the forest before he cleared his throat. Sango glanced at him then looked away. " will you kinda fill me in about what just happened, I feel left out " he said. Instead of answering his question, Sango dropped Hiraikotsu on the ground and turned to wrap her arms around Miroku. She buried her head into his chest and sobbed. Not really knowing what to do he just stood there bewildered and wrapped a comforting arm around Sango.
" yup, I definitely missed something" he whispered to himself, and seeing the outcome of Sangos wrecking sobs, it was something not good. He sighed heavily and just stood there in the pouring rain holding the demon slayer as she continued to weep.
I arrived at the well, deeply conflicted about what lays on the other side, 500 years in the future, wondering what I'd find...would she even wanna see me? should I even bother? would she listen?. So many what ifs were playing inside my head and a lot of the possibilities terrified me. But I had to do this and set things right...I had too... otherwise nothing will change and if she did return things would just be awkward and set out of line. I took a deep breath in, and leaped up to the lip of the bone eaters well...the portal that connects her time to mine and leaped into the darkness that soon lit up and within seconds I was transported from one era to the other.
Once the light dissipated I looked up and saw the walls of Kagome's family shrine. All the different noises and smells hit me at once and it kinda threw me off, the sounds of busy people and the honking of iron carts that Kagome called ( cars) the every day chattering of modern day Tokyo Japan. If you thought the rain that fell in the feudal era was loud nothing compared to this. I closed my eyes and prayed to whatever deity that was willing to listen that I could fix this misunderstood situation.
I leaped out of the well and ran as fast as I could towards the higurashi house. But as I arrived I noticed something that didn't sit well with me... Kagome's scent wasn't lingering around the house.
I jumped up towards her window, peeking through the glass I saw her bed made her room tidy but no Kagome.
" where in hell would she be?" panic started to set in when I heard my name being called. My eyes widened and I looked down to see Kagome's mother waving up at me with a present welcoming smile. I jumped down and landed in front of her. " here lemme help you with that" I said pointing towards the bags in her hands. She thanked me and we both headed towards the door. Once inside I sat the bags on their table and scratched the back of my head. " so um, where is Kagome?" I asked.
Mrs. Higurashi, wasn't sure if it was her place or not to really meddle in Kagome and Inuyasha's affairs...but being that she was Kagome's mother she was very curious about a lot of things. " before I tell you, will you explain to me why my daughter came home a few days ago in tears?"
I swallowed the lump that started to form in the back of my throat. My palms started to feel clammy, I normally ain't the nervous type but this was Kagome's mom...the one who raised and loved and nurtured the woman I deeply fell in love with, who is concerned for her child and needs reassurance as to why her daughter came back devastated.
" A few nights ago we went to set up camp and I had a run in with...well, a run in with someone I knew a very, very long time ago, way before Kagome. This person was originally gone from the world of the living but was resurrected by a witch who created her body out of ashes, dirt and graveyard soil. This person was someone I thought I loved 50 something years ago, Her name was Kikyo. But, her and I were under Naraku's spell, we were pinned against each other into thinking we betrayed one another. She pinned me to the tree of ages and I laid dormant until Kagome was able to release me from the spell..." I realized how much detail I rambled about...Kagome's mother sat there and seemed intrigued so I continued. " when this witch revived this...thing that was like Kikyo but wasn't, it required a partial soul...and ended up ciphering some of Kagome's "
Kagome's mother gasped out and her eyes were wide with worry and fear. " Why would this thing need my daughter's soul? "
I sat up and grabbed both of Mrs. Higurashi hands. " Because Kagome is her reincarnation"
her mother blinked, confusion creased across her face. " See, Kagome caught me talking with this person and well...she felt hurt by it. Kagome and the others feel that I...that I still go to her cause of lingering feelings. "
" do you?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.
I shook my head and gave her a small yet sad smile. " No, I haven't had any lingering feelings for this person in a very long time." She looked deep into my eyes. " Then why do you keep going back?"
I sighed and tried explaining the best I could. " Cause I feel a sense of responsibility, when the witch resurrected Kikyo I promised to avenge her death and lay her soul to rest ...that was my promise, my oath. But it's getting harder and harder for me to fulfill. " I looked up and saw tears gathering up in Kagome's mother's eyes. I instantly feel guilty. " OH SHIT I'm sorry..." I hurried to grab a napkin and handed it to her.
she thanked me and dabbed the corner of her eyes. She sniffled a bit then sighed out.
" She feels you still love this Kikyo, and thinks she doesn't have any place in your heart, did you ever explain this to Kagome?" I shook my head regretfully. " why not?"
" Every time I had the opportunity too, I became instantly terrified. I'd go to say something...and she'd look at me with broken eyes. Then I found myself without a voice to reason. Every time Kikyo calls to me, I see the warmth slip away from Kagome. She becomes distant and cold. I know I'm to blame for most of it...but I just wish I could explain myself to her without her pushing me away. "
But what he didn't know was...Kagome was there in the doorway listening. He heard an intake of breath and quickly turned his head to see her.
I quickly stood up and our eyes met. Kagome's mom placed her hand over her mouth in shock. Our gazes locked for a few passing minutes before she tore hers away. " Can we talk?" I asked.
She looked at her mom and back at me shrugging her normal I don't care shrug, and walked up the steps. When he didn't follow she stopped and looked over the stairwell. " well, ya coming or not". I excused myself and followed her up the steps and into her bedroom.
After she closed the door and locked it, she turned around and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.
I took it all in, her scent her presence, her being, and just let it all soak in before I started to talk. She had NO idea...just how much I missed her, how much I wanted to gather her in my arms and bury my sorrows into her soul so she could embrace them and purify them. She didn't know how badly I craved her voice. She didn't know anything...cause I never once let my feelings for her be known. " how much of what I told your mother did you hear?" I asked.
" I heard enough of it" she replied back quickly.
I nodded. " I need to clarify a few things, if you're willing to listen?". She didn't reply but remained where she was and just stared at me as if she were waiting. I took that as a sign and huffed. " I'm sorry Kagome" was the first thing I wanted to say, she raised a confused brow. " I'm sorry that I hurt you every time I go and see Kikyo." that's the second thing I wanted to say. " I'm sorry it seems that I push your feelings aside or ignore them, but I want you to know that I'm very aware of your feelings towards me. "
Her eyes became wide and a pink hue blushed across her cheeks. " Lastly I wanna say I'm sorry for not letting mine be as apparent. Because I hid mine for so long, I made it seem like yours weren't noticeable...I'm sorry for not being truthful about my feelings and I wanna rectify that by telling you how I truly feel. " okay so far so good, the words came out smoothly.
Kagome's face became still and her eyes became wide, my eyes fell to her slightly parted lips and my mind went completely blank cause all I thought of them when I looked down at her lips was...if she tasted just as amazing as she smelled. I become dumbfounded by lecherous greedy thoughts.
I moved a few centimeters closer and before I could stop myself I reached out and traced her bottom lip with my thumb, her breath hitched and I felt the warmth of her breath against my hand.
She moved back a step kinda out of confusion and shock and her rejection annoyed me. I looked up and I narrowed my brows in frustration. " why'd you move ?" I asked angrily.
" You're confusing me Inuyasha, you act like this now then the next moment we run into...into her soul collectors you'll run off chasing her like a dog who's running off to meet up with its master." her reply was cold .
Something in me snapped, I pushed her up against her bedroom wall and before she had the chance to say anything, my lips found hers. The kiss started out aggressively then it turned out passionately. Each breath she breathed I caught with my own. I grazed her teeth with my tongue and got lost in the flavor of her. I nipped her bottom lip with my fang and Groaned with she nipped mine back. My brain was starting to fog up and my body became hot with need. I needed to stop before this got completely out of hand. I pushed myself back and released my grip from her hands...my breathing labored.
" if that isn't proof enough about how I feel" I was still trying to catch my breath. " then let me be frank...1) I ain't no fuckin dog, 2) I ain't no god damn house pet, and 3) I DON'T FUCKIN' LOVE KIKYO. " the last part I yelled out which caused her to flench.
After the hammering in my chest settled I ran a hand through my hair I inhaled and exhaled as I continued on, in a more calmer manner. " I know it may be hard to believe considering I never once told you how I felt, so let me start off by telling you the truth. I haven't loved Kikyo in a while, in fact sometimes looking at her makes my stomach turn. I know you get upset when I go meet up with her, but believe me when I say I don't meet up with her for anything other than information. I don't go to her because of love...I go to her because I made a promise to her, a promise to lay her soul to rest. What Kikyo and I had years ago died the moment we did. When she was resurrected, sure I was confused and lost, but I was confused because I felt immense guilt... I still blame myself for the hatred she carries around in that clay body. But, I don't love her Kagome."
A shimmer of hope lit up in Kagome's eyes. " so...does this mean you have feelings for me?"
" how dense can you be? do you think I go up and just kiss everyone like how I just kissed you" I snickered.
still kinda needing reassurance she looked up and said. "Does this mean, that you have room for me in your heart too?"
I face palmed myself and gave out an annoyed sigh...this woman was clueless. " Kagome, you've had my heart this whole time."
Her bottom lip started to quiver and tears gathered into her brown chocolate eyes..before they began to pour down her delicate cheeks I grabbed her arm and pulled her into mine. She buried her face into my chest and she let out a pain wrecked sob...I laid my chin on top her head and held on to her as she let all that pain and hurt out onto my kimono...the smell of salt was strong but I tightened my hold on her and whispered " I'm sorry" over and over again. If this was what she was holding in...then I damned myself for being so stupid.
About two hours have passed before she was able to calm herself down enough to stop the tears. The front of his kimono was drenched in her sadness...she lay comfortably against him as she started drifting away to sleep. Her head against his chest he tucked back a stray piece of hair and grazed his knuckles across her damp cheek. His eye held so much remorse from all the long held back tears she released and all that pent up anger and sadness. Her eyes were swollen and PUFFY and her breathing was cracking from her hours of crying. As she drifted off he tightened his hold on her... remembering the one thing he came to say and still hasn't gotten the chance to say and he automatically panicked. He shook Kagome awake and her eyes barely able to open, she asked him what was wrong so he made it quick. " I love You Kagome. I have for a very long time. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and let things get to the extent that they did" he hurried it out.
The reaction he got wasn't the one he was looking for but he accepted it anyway. She smiled and nodded and within seconds fell back into a deep sleep. He couldn't be too mad at her though, she was just bawling her eyes out for two straight hours, instead of resting on her bedroom floor he picked her up and carried her over to her bed...He laid down next to her and he too felt sleep come for him.
The next day came quickly and before I knew it we were on our way back to my time. Kagome in toe I held on to her and she grinned the biggest grin I ever seen in such a long time. Once we arrived I grabbed her and we leaped up and out of the well.
She laughed, " ya no, no matter how many times we do that, it's still shocking and thrilling " I smirked and held her close.
" there's a lot of things that are gonna continue to shock you Kagome." I said in a drawl.
she looked up at me. " oh yeah, like what?"
I raised my brow and lowered my head. " like this" I brushed my lips against hers and she melted against me.
After all this time of hiding behind fears. When we left her time I made it accustomed that from here on out I will no longer hide my feelings for Kagome. It may be different and it may be out of character, but it needed to be real, and true.
I pulled away and when I did I noticed we had company. Sango and Miroku and Shippo all stood there in complete shock...I still wasn't very happy with them...but I guess I wasn't very honest with them either. Tit for tat
" does this mean what we're all thinking?" Miroku asked
I nodded and looked at Sango, she looked guilty and happy for us all at the same time. " It's okay, I didn't make things easy to understand either so I get it...let's move on shall we" I said out loud to Sango and Miroku both.
" what happens when Kikyo calls for you again though? what will you do? " questioned Miroku.
I grabbed Kagome's hand and I gave her a tight squeeze. " I'll be taking Kagome with me next time when Kikyo summons me."
Kagome was shocked. " You don't have to..."
" YES I do, that way you don't feel alone and betrayed, that way you can see for yourself that my words ain't just words but are being put into action...that way you can see..just how true my love really is for you. " I smiled at her and she smiled back, light warming her gaze.
She looped her arm in mine and she laid her head down against my shoulder. " I never did get the chance to reply back though "
I glanced down. " what do you mean? " i asked outta confusion.
she stood up on her tippy toes and placed her soft lips on mine. The kiss was quick but it was deep and passionate. " I love you too Inuyasha"
We all headed back to the village that day, and once we got to where we needed to be, we looked up and saw a rainbow cast across the beautiful sky. I took that as a sign of good fortune. What started out as a Strom made something vibrant and beautiful. Just like Inuyasha and Kagome's love confession.
We were headed for great and wondrous things. like the birth of a new star our love continued to shine on. Kikyo was eventually put the rest, and before I knew it Kagome and I became so much more than just a half demon and modern day priestess. We became husband and wife and eventually we became a mom and dad to a beautiful little girl. As life continued to change all around us one thing remained the same throughout time. Kagome and I loved each other and would continue to love each other until death do we part. A promise I would keep for eternity.
The End