Disclaimer: Everything belongs to The Marvel Universe except for my characters Sophie and Jeremy and any other SOs that become introduced – they are my own creations and are not meant to resemble anyone else's OCs in any way.
A/N: So this chapter is full of goodies :D
There is a definite shift between Bucky and Sophie by the end and I'd love to hear what you all think of it! Please enjoy and don't forget to show me some support by dropping a review at the end!
Chapter 14: Everything That Could Have Been
Sophie woke up to the gentle rise and fall of Bucky's chest against her back. His right arm was draped over her waist and his left tucked under her pillow. The mid morning light filtered through the curtains, bathing the bedroom in an etherial glow. She stretched slightly, too scared of waking him to move much. Although they had clearly broken her no-bed rule, she couldn't bring herself to be angry. The feeling of skin on skin this early wasn't something she'd experienced before with him and she tried not to think too hard about how much she liked it.
Biting her lip slightly, Sophie nestled backwards into his embrace, sucking in a breath at the feeling of his morning wood pressing into her backside. Bucky's arm flexed slightly, then his right palm spread over her lower belly. She stilled, afraid that she'd woken him. But his breathing continued steady, face pressed into her hair. Letting her eyes flutter shut, she fought the urge to overthink how she was feeling in this moment. Then her eyes shot open. Bucky's hand had drifted downward. Heart hammering, her breathing sped up as it continued to move. Gliding through her curls, his fingers slid to her inner thigh. Sophie inhaled sharply at the feeling of him pressing against her ass, stiff and hot. The fingers curled into the meaty part of her upper leg as his nose nuzzled behind her ear.
"Bucky?" She whispered.
"Hmmm?"
His voice reverberated against the base of her neck, making her shiver. Warm lips landed on her neck, causing her to gasp lightly.
"What are you doing?"
"You said you like it slow and sweet. And I wanted to make up for last night."
Another shiver ran down her spine as his hand skimmed around to her backside, squeezing gently.
"Bucky, you have nothing to make up for. I liked last night, I told you that."
"Yeah…but you still haven't seen your neck. I marked you up pretty bad."
His tongue ran across her shoulder and up her neck to just below her ear. Sophie mewled. Shifting slightly, Bucky stretched out his vibranium arm, then brought it up and across her chest to cup her right breast. She turned her head and looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"You don't have to Bucky. I'm fine. Really."
Soulful blue eyes searched her face for a moment.
"I know," he answered softly. "But I want to."
Then leaning over, he place a tender kiss at the corner of her mouth. Bringing her right arm up, she draped it around his neck and pulled him closer. Their lips met at last in a chaste kiss. Mouths parting, Bucky moved downward slightly until his nose was level with the base of her neck. Keeping his left hand wrapped gently around her, his right one traveled back around her thigh. Sophie's palm ghosted up and down over his vibranium plates, then came to a stop at his wrist, fingers curling in gently. She could feel the glide of his mouth on the back of her neck right at the spot that he'd come to know as a pleasure point for her. Soft lips continued to travel around to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, leaving barely there kisses over every bruise he'd made on her skin.
Sophie's breathing sped up and her fingers squeezed around his wrist now. His large palm pressed on the inside of her thigh, then pulled slightly, bringing her leg upwards. Repositioning once more, she gasped at the feel of Bucky's shaft against her already slick folds. It ran along her body intimately, back and forth as he rocked against her, lubricating himself. A breathy moan escaped her lips while he kissed her under the jaw and simultaneously slid his knee between her legs. Lifting her thigh further, he draped her right leg over his own.
"I've never…I've never done this," she managed to rasp out through her fog of pleasure.
"Never done what? Sex in the morning?" Bucky teased.
She could feel him smile and let out a small laugh of her own.
"No. Sex in this position."
He hummed against her skin.
"I have a feeling you're going to like it."
"What makes you say that?"
Pulling his head away from her neck, Bucky gazed down at her with a smirk on his face.
"Because I know what you like now."
Sophie wanted to be annoyed with how cocky he sounded, but instead, she felt her insides squirm in delight and she inhaled sharply as her face flushed. Bending down, he slipped his palm against her cheek and angled her face towards him. He kissed her slow and deep just as the head of his cock slipped inside of her. Bucky swallowed her gasp. The pressure continued between her legs as he pushed forward until he was seated as deeply as possible while spooning her. A small groan escaped his mouth, breath fanning over her ear. His hand moved back down to its original position on her lower belly, palm splayed out wide, holding Sophie firmly against him.
Then he began to move. A slow and torturous rhythm of pulling out and then filling her back up. The fingers of her left hand clutched at the edge of her pillow while her right continued to grip his vibranium wrist. Bucky had been right, she did like this position. A lot. Arching her back slightly, Sophie bit her lip and whimpered. His nose buried into the crook of her neck and she shivered as he kissed her softly. Then suddenly, his tempo changed. He began a series of short and shallow thrusts, hitting her G-spot with every pump of his hips. Sophie moaned louder and pressed her hips backwards, attempting to drive him in deeper.
"Bucky…" she whined.
"Yeah doll?"
"I want more."
He nudged the hair away from her neck, letting his nose graze over her heated skin. Placing a few open mouthed kisses along her shoulder, he paused, lips hovering near her ear.
"I know you do. But remember when I promised you I'd teach you how to just enjoy it someday? Today is someday."
Sophie whimpered, eyes fluttering shut and heal lulling backwards.
"Just relax darlin' and enjoy everything you're feeling. Stop chasing the finish line."
Bucky's lips touched her skin right under her ear now and the sound she made was something akin to a mewling cat. Breathing heavily, she willed her body to relax into his embrace. He kissed down her neck again, paying special attention to the love bites he'd left behind. His left arm snaked around her further until his fingers rested lightly over her ribcage just as his right hand grabbed onto her hip. Sophie was writhing against him now, desperately needing him to give himself completely to her. And at last, fingers digging into her flesh, he slowly slid inside nearly to the hilt. Bucky let out a cross between a moan and a groan. It was a sound she hadn't heard from him before and it was so exquisite that she was ready to do anything to hear it again.
She sought him out, turning her head as far to her right as she could. His pleasure laden eyes found Sophie's. Reading her expression, he leaned in and kissed her. Her right arm reached around to his neck once more, fingers tangling in his hair as he continued his slow torture. She could feel the orgasm start to build now, low and into Bucky's mouth, she released him, twisting back around. The pleasure was coiling tight within him too and he pulled her even closer. Forehead resting against her head, he picked up the pace.
"Uuuunnnggg."
Bucky couldn't help the moan that tore from his throat as, with a shift of his hips, he managed to finally fully seat himself inside of her.
"Mmmmm, yessss," Sophie hissed in response.
Her walls were starting to tighten around his length, hips beginning to buck frantically. His thrusts became harder and deeper, a little more wild. He was so close now, so close to tumbling over the edge. Bucky's right hand slipped forward, fingers rolling over her sensitive nub.
"Aaaahhh…" she sighed out.
Mind reeling, she had both hands fisted in the sheets now. Her hips couldn't figure out which way to move for wherever they went she was met with delirious euphoria, either by his fingers or his cock. And then they were there, reaching their peaks simultaneously. Bucky snapped his hips and let out a deep moan as he spilled himself inside of her. Sophie continue to move against him, pressing herself into his hand while stars exploded behind her closed lids. She cried out as the waves of pleasure washed over her.
"Ooohhh yessss Sophie. Aaahhh…"
Bucky's face was pressed into her hair and he continued to rock within her as Sophie's body shuddered in his arms. At last, her whimpers began to quiet and, fully spent himself, he stilled. Hand slipping back up her body, he threw his left arm across the bed while his right draped over her waist leisurely. They remained intimately connected as they caught their breath. She sighed in contentment, despite her sudden struggle to keep unwanted thoughts at bay. Finally, Bucky placed a soft and wet kiss on her shoulder as he pulled out and rolled over onto his back. She remained as she'd been.
"So? How was that for sweet and gentle?"
Sophie couldn't help the small smile that stretched her lips. She hummed.
"That was pretty good."
"I hope more than pretty good," he chuckled in response.
She laughed softly and nestled into her pillow.
"You're so cocky."
She missed the proud and mischievous grin on his face as he spun his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Returning a moment later, Bucky handed her a washcloth, then retraced his steps to the bathroom. Once the shower was on, Sophie let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She sat up and rolled her shoulders. After rubbing her hands over her face, she did her best to clear her mind, then quietly followed after him. She threw the washcloth into the sink, the door closing softly behind her. Bucky was already in the large glass enclosure. He stood directly under the spray, head bent, water streaming over every inch of him. She pulled the door open and stepped inside. Letting out a little content sigh, he tipped his chin up, shoving the sopping hair out of his face. Then he backed out of the spray.
"Go ahead," he told her gently.
Sophie walked into the warm, bordering on hot, water backwards. She tilted her head up, allowing her hair to get soaked as she rubbed her hands over her face again. Bucky reached around her momentarily and retrieved the soap. Opening her eyes, she watched as he lathered up. Cinnamon eyes roamed over his body, following the path of his hands. Sinful thoughts drifted into her mind and she felt her mouth go dry. There was something incredibly erotic about the way he was twisting to soap up. Something about the way the suds and water drifted down his body in little rivulets that was beautiful and sexy and mesmerizing. Every taut muscle seemed to be accentuated all at once. Sophie swallowed hard and closed her eyes, allowing the water to hit her face.
"So what now?" She asked him at last.
"What do you mean?"
"With Fischer."
His hands paused, body tensing. Opening her eyes, she observed the frown on Bucky's face. His eyes cast downwards as his hands dropped away from what he'd been doing.
"Now we interrogate him," his frown deepened. "And by 'we' I mean everyone other than me."
She raised an eyebrow at him but otherwise stayed silent. Eyeing her sidelong for a moment, he continued on.
"I'm not allowed to be in the room. I can be a silent observer on the outside. That's it."
Sophie sighed. She knew how frustrating this was for him but at the same time, secretly agreed it was the right decision.
"Don't you think that…maybe that's a good thing?"
He glared at her.
"Nobody trusts me."
"Bucky…It's not that nobody trusts you. It's that everyone cares about you. We don't want you to go through it all over and over. We both know that if you went in there, his only goal would be to provoke you until you snapped again. Besides, you all need information out of him. And to get that, he's got to stay alive."
When Bucky was done lathering, they changed positions. She grabbed the soap from him as he turned his back to her and went under the water once more. Sophie began washing up as he stood silent and sullen under the spray.
"I know," he finally sighed out. "But it doesn't make it any easier to be on the outside of this."
"You're not on the outside. I'm on the outside. You're…in the periphery."
Turning his head over his shoulder, he threw her an unimpressed look with an arched brow.
"Look, I know this is important to you. Steve knows. Tony knows. We all do. But you've got to get a handle on yourself first. Fischer knows how to trigger you. And that's not a mark against you, it's just something you need to work on until it doesn't phase you as bad."
Bucky sighed. His shoulders drooped as he placed his right palm against the cold stone and let his head bow forward. Placing the soap back in its cradle, Sophie stepped under the water. Her small right hand rested gently against his back while the fingers of her left hand trailed down his vibranium arm until they entwined with his.
"You have to put yourself first right now. That's what Steve and Tony are doing here. They're allowing you to take care of yourself while still keeping you in the loop. I…I don't have a good feeling about all of this Bucky…"
She felt his fingers flex against her own.
"I don't know why. I just feel like it's not over. Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"I know," he said quietly. "Me too."
"And when it does…you need to be ready. You have to be on your A-game and able to take whatever gets thrown at you. If you don't…if you're not…you could get really hurt. And so could others."
Sophie heard him suck in a deep breath, then let it out slow and shaky through his mouth.
"I know," Bucky responded at last.
He finally straightened, then turned towards Sophie. Placing his hands on her hips he spun them around, switching their positions so she could wash off properly. He stepped out of the spray and regarded her with a calculating gaze.
"You're right. I know you're right — all of you. But it doesn't make this any easier."
Pushing her wet hair out of her face, she looked back at him long and hard.
"I know. But it is what it is."
He nodded, voice hushed when he finally replied.
"I'll call Dr. Young this morning. I promise."
"Good."
…
Bucky hit the bag hard. The chain rattled, bolts quivering from the impact. Taking a deep breath he continued to pound on it. He could feel his knuckles starting to ache underneath the wraps of his right hand, but he continued on. It had been three weeks since they'd captured Fischer and they still had nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everyone had had a crack at him at this point, even Steve, even Natasha. Everyone but him. And despite all of that, Fischer remained silent.
He took another long breath, eyes screwing shut in frustration. An image of the professor's smug face back at the manor flashed through his brain. Stormy blue orbs flew open as he attacked the bag again. He poured it all out, letting the anger flow through him. The vague sound of the gym door opening behind him drifted to his ears just as his vibranium fist made contact with the bag. The intense fury of his punch reverberated through the heavy bag, straining the bolts until they finally gave out. It flew across the room, landing several yards away.
Straightening up, Bucky let his arms fall limp by his sides, his chest heaving. He didn't say anything, didn't even turn his head, as Steve came up to him standing shoulder to shoulder. They both gazed silently at the now decimated punching bag. The super soldier clapped his friend on his metal shoulder before turning and retrieving a new bag, hanging it up for him.
"Thanks," Bucky said softly. "But I think I'm done."
He wiped the sweat off his face with his forearm and went to drag the fallen bag into a corner. Turning around, he found Steve waiting for him on one of the benches. He joined his friend, sitting down heavily beside him. Tortured blue eyes stared at the floor as he removed the wrapping, revealing red and bruised knuckles.
"So? Anything?"
Steve let out a long sigh, answering him without saying a word. Bucky nodded, a feeling of defeat creeping up his spine.
"Buck?"
"Hm?"
He was silent for a beat before continuing.
"He wants to talk to you."
Bucky's head shot up. He looked at Steve, brows furrowing in surprised confusion.
"He said he'll talk to 'the Winter Soldier' and no one else. It's the first and only thing he's said in three weeks."
Steve's face screwed up in concern as he made eye contact with his best friend. Bucky's eyes were open wide, a hopeful look on his face. His breathing picked up as his heart began to beat wildly in his chest. This was his chance. He'd finally have his shot.
"It's a setup Buck. He's going to try to trigger you again."
Bucky's expression grew earnest.
"I know. But I can do this. I can do this Steve."
"I don't know what his game is. I don't know why he wants you in there. But it can't be for anything good."
"It doesn't matter. Like you said, this is the first time he's talked since we captured him. I want to do this. I can do it."
Steve gave him a wary look.
"I've been working with Dr. Young relentlessly just for this moment. I'm ready. I've got it. Trust me."
"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust."
"We need information. We need him to talk. I've got this…besides, you'll be right there if I need you. Right?"
He smirked at his childhood friend. Steve couldn't help the half grin that he returned.
"You know it. I'm with you till the end of the line Bucky."
…
The heavy door swung open slowly. Bucky stood motionless for a moment, simply staring at the lone man seated inside. At last, he stepped forward and allowed the door to shut behind him with a resounding thud. The room was empty, save for two metal chairs and a matching table bolted to the floor. Fischer shifted his shackled wrists, the chain not allowing his hands to move off the table and out of sight. His eyes lit up and a self-satisfied smile tugged at his lips.
"At last, they've let their dog off its leash. Come, join me, Solider."
Bucky did his best not to react. His fists didn't clench, his jaw didn't tighten, all through shear willpower alone. He remained where he was for another beat, face passive. Finally releasing a small breath of air, he blinked and walked forward. Seating himself opposite the professor, he leaned back leisurely in the uncomfortable chair.
"I hear you wanted to talk. I'm ready to listen."
Fischer laughed, "Such an eager puppy."
Continuing with his indifferent facade, Bucky remained silent.
The professor sighed and sat back as well. Turning his head towards a wall, he looked at him sidelong.
"Not in the mood to play, I see."
"I'm in the mood to learn some new information."
"I'm sure you are. But what do I get in return?"
"Your life."
A tight smile crossed the professor's lips as his gaze dropped down to the table between them.
"What do you want to know, Winter Soldier? You already have all of my data."
"I'm no longer the Winter Soldier, Fischer. You should know that."
Fischer's eyes glinted.
"You will always be the Winter Soldier. You can play your games, pretending otherwise. But he will always be inside of you, trying to claw his way out. That savage animal is not so easily rid of. And I think…as much as you try to hide it, you know that I'm right."
Bucky's eye narrowed.
"Were you successful?"
Fischer raised an eyebrow at him, the smirk never leaving his face.
"At what?"
"Don't be coy. Did you recreate the super soldier serum?"
Pursing his lips, the professor observed the former assassin in front of him.
"In a way, yes."
"Explain."
"Well, it's not exactly the masterpiece my grandfather created. I did not have the same resources that he had to work with…it's a work in progress I suppose. We'll see what kind of tweaking it needs soon enough."
"You're referring to Steve's blood."
Fischer nodded.
"There will be no progress and no tweaking on all of this. Your files will be examined and destroyed."
The feral smile that exploded on Fischer's face turned Bucky's stomach.
"You have the original files, yes. But do you really think that copies weren't made?"
Bucky felt his pulse quicken.
"Did you forget who you're dealing with, Soldier?!" Fischer barked at him, face angry. "We are Hydra! You may have captured me, but there will always be someone to take my place. Someone to pick up the mantel and continue my grandfather's great work! Cut off one head, two more will take it's place."
"Who has the copies now?"
Fischer's expression mellowed into a superior smirk once more.
"Why, the other head, of course."
Bucky's brows knit infinitesimally in confusion.
"Go on."
"You still don't know, do you?" He replied in delight.
"Don't know, what?" Bucky bit out.
Fischer's eyes dropped down to his hands and he began to idly play with the chains.
"I wonder if he's started testing yet. I think at this point he's had more than enough time to find appropriate subjects. What a shame I'll never get to see the results of my hard work."
Taking a deep breath, Bucky had to fight hard to quell the fury and sickness rising up within him. But this was what he'd been preparing for. This is what he'd worked so hard with Dr. Young on. For this moment, when Fischer began to taunt him and poke at his sore spots. He let the breath out slowly through his nose, feeling himself calm down and regain control.
"Give me…a name."
"Ohhh, I don't know. I'm rather enjoying our play time, Soldier."
"If you don't give me a name, you're useless to me."
"And once I do? What do I become then?"
"An inmate."
Fischer laughed.
"You had him, you know…he was right under your nose. He played you like a violin. Fed you want you wanted to hear. And you ate it all up like the mindless Asset that you are. And now…now you'll never find him. Am I angry that he threw me under the bus? I suppose not. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in his position. But at least he warned me you were coming. He gave me time to prepare. Time to make copies."
Bucky was eyeing him hard in confusion as Fischer ranted on.
"Oh yes. He told me all about your conversation on the train."
His blood ran cold, heart nearly stopping.
"How did it feel? To be back there again? Back to where it all started for you? It must have brought back some very fond memories. Oh you poor thing. Are you putting the pieces together now? Yes, I wanted to continue my grandfather's research and experimentation. But it never would have been possible without him. I was never the one pulling the strings here. That's it…I can see the wheels turning now. It must be hard, your brain learning to function all on its own again. Isn't it easier to just let somebody smarter think for you? I believe you know now, don't you? Moretti…recruited…me."
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The pounding of Bucky's heart in his ears was nearly deafening.
"And now he's in the wind. And you'll never find him."
"Why?"
The lone word was all he managed to rasp out.
"Why? Because…he too wanted to continue his grandfather's great work."
The look of bewilderment on Bucky's face delighted Fischer. He let out a laugh that was more of a satisfied cackle.
"I'm afraid that's all I'm willing to give you. Now you can crawl back into your cage with your tail between your legs like the useless Asset that you've become.
"Who was his grandfather Fischer?"
"Now, now. I can't make it that easy for you, can I?"
"Who was it?"
"Moretti has it all now. He has my research, he has the facilities, and I'm sure he has the subjects already too. Can't you see, Soldier? You've lost."
There was a deafening pause where both men stared each other down. Fischer had lost his smile. It had been replaced by a hateful and twisted expression. And then suddenly…
"Hail Hydra."
Clamping his jaw down, Bucky heard a distinct crunch emanate from Fischer's mouth. He leapt up immediately, eyes wide in panic and lunged across the table to grab him.
"NO!" He screamed.
But Fischer was already writhing, mouth filling with foam and eyes rolling in the back of his head. The door behind Bucky exploded open so forcefully it rebounded against the wall. Steve and Sam rushed in, but it was too late. Fischer was dead.
"FUUUCCKKK!"
Bucky slammed his vibranium fist into the metal table, tearing a hole through it. He rounded on Steve.
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, DAMN IT!"
"Woah, man," Sam tried to calm him. "No one could have predicted he'd do…that. Whatever that was."
Whirling around, Bucky advanced on him.
"Cyanide," he seethed before his eyes cut over to Steve again. "And it's the oldest trick in Hydra's book. You should have known better! He should have been searched for it!"
Steve could only manage to stand there silently and take it. Eyes cast downward in shame, he knew his best friend was right. But for whatever reason, the possibility of cyanide hadn't even crossed his mind. Perhaps it was the satisfied feeling of success, having captured Fischer. Or maybe the false sense of security that they'd put an end to everything. Either way, the other super soldier was right, it was on him. Bucky's arms dropped down to his sides and he straightened. Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard and chest still heaving, he continued to stare at his friend for another moment. Then he spun on his heel and stomped out of the room and out of the building.
…
The New York City traffic was heavy as usual, but it didn't stop Bucky from recklessly flying through the city streets on his bike. His mind was a jumbled mess, stray thoughts running frantically around to the point where he was unable to grasp onto a single one to make sense of it. There was a panicked fury flaring up within him, making him feel jittery.
By the time he was inside his apartment he was so restless he couldn't even sit down. Kicking off his shoes he began to pace, while Alpine sat perched on the back of the couch, eyes following him back and forth. He screwed his eyes shut as his hands flew into his hair, tugging at it roughly in annoyance. Bucky knew he should talk to someone — to Dr. Young, or even Sophie. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet.
He continued his path from wall to wall, feeling like the caged animal Fischer had accused him of being. At some point, a frustrated roar had flown out of his mouth, causing Alpine to scamper into the bedroom. Losing steam at last, he threw himself down on the couch, and slowly placed his head in his hands. All the anger had suddenly seeped away, leaving him feeling nothing but empty in defeat.
…
Bucky sat slumped on his couch, fingers running absentmindedly through Alpine's thick fur as she purred beside him. The TV was on low, the sound nothing more than a soft murmur in the background. He stared out of his window, not noticing how the late May sun glittered off the buildings across from him while the afternoon drew into evening. His interaction with Fischer that morning played in his mind on repeat.
Moretti…recruited…me.
He played you like a violin. Fed you want you wanted to hear. And you ate it all up like the mindless Asset that you are. And now…now you'll never find him.
Moretti has it all now. He has my research, he has the facilities, and I'm sure he has the subjects already too. Can't you see, Soldier? You've lost…Hail Hydra.
His eyes snapped back into focus as the lock on his front door clicked. Sitting up sharply, he turned his head towards the foyer when the door slammed open, then shut again. Alpine scampered off, the loud noise scaring her into hiding. Sophie barged in and unceremoniously dropped her purse onto the floor. Her soft brown eyes were fuming as they scanned the room, landing on Bucky's startled face. She stomped over to him and, without a word, straddled his lap. Bucky's hands automatically landed on her hips and he allowed her to push him back into a recline. Hands on his shoulders, she leaned in and kissed him hard.
He made a surprised noise of confusion in the back of his throat, hands moving slowly to her face. He placed them on either one of her cheeks and gently pulled her face away from his, never returning the kiss. Once upon a time, he wouldn't have questioned this. He would have greeted it and accepted it with zeal. But that wasn't him any more. He wasn't the player that he had been in his youth, before the war, before everything. Aside from which, he cared about Sophie and he could tell something was very wrong. His concerned eyes searched her face while he continued to hold it.
"Hey…what's going on? What happened?" He asked her gently.
He wasn't sure what he had expected from her, but it wasn't what he got. Her face screwed up in anger and she wrenched her head out of his grasp. Shoving against his chest, she pushed off of his lap and came to stand in front of him.
"Fine," she practically shouted. "If you don't want to, that's fine. Maybe I'll just go find someone else who won't turn me down. Someone who actually wants me!"
There was a storm brewing behind her furious orbs, but it was the slight wobble in her lower lip that gave her away. She sucked in air and held her breath. Spinning away from him sharply, she nearly ran for the bathroom. But not before he saw the wetness filling her eyes. Bucky sat motionless in shock, unsure of what just happened. He flinched slightly as his bathroom door slammed shut. Sighing, he placed his palms on his thighs and pushed up to stand. He walked slowly to the bathroom, pausing just outside. His heart clenched, gut twisting as he heard Sophie sobbing on the other side.
Slowly, he opened the door and stepped inside the dark room. Flicking the lights on, he found her sitting curled up against the wall. Her head was buried in her arms which draped over her drawn up knees. He came up to her and pressed his back to the wall, letting himself slide down to sit next to her. Cautiously, Bucky reached over and laid his right arm across her shoulders, drawing her into him as much as her awkward position allowed. She felt his vibranium fingers slide under her wild hair and wedge between her face and arm. His palm cupped her cheek, applying gentle pressure until she raised her head. But she refused to make eye contact. His thumb swiped at the tears still pouring down.
"Talk to me doll. What happened?"
His voice was soft and caring and it broke her even further. Sophie uncurled, twisting her body into his. Clutching at his shirt, face buried into his shoulder, she took a few hiccuping breaths.
"Jeremy is engaged," she mumbled.
Bucky's brow furrowed.
"What?"
She pulled away from him with a sniffle and sat back, knees drawn back up to her chest. Grabbing some toilet paper, she wiped her face and blew her nose.
"He's engaged."
"Okkkk…" he said slowly, still trying to process and understand. "But…I thought you said you were over him? Why are you so upset over this?"
She threw him an incredulous look.
"Bucky…it hasn't even been a year since we broke up! How can someone move on so fast?!"
He blinked at her. His mouth opened to reply but she cut him off before he had a chance to make a sound.
"And you're right. I am over him! But…I loved him…and he said he loved me. He begged me to get back together with him! How can he be engaged already?!"
Bucky ran a hand over his face, still confused as ever.
"I'm sorry…I just…I don't get it. Why are you so upset that he's with someone else? You knew that would happen eventually. And how do you even know this anyway?"
"Bucky…we were together for nearly four years. It took him like two years just to ask me to move in with him. We rarely talked about marriage. He told me he loved me…but it turns out, it turns out he never really loved me at all."
She paused and stared at the tile floor.
"I saw him on my way over. I passed by the cafe that we used to go to all the time. He was sitting outside with this busty gorgeous blonde. And she had a massive rock on her ring finger. You should have seen the way he was looking at her…he never looked at me like that," she whispered.
"The way he held her hand. The way he kissed her. It made me realize what we actually had was…nothing. He never gave me that kind of undivided attention. He never loved me like that. I wasted so much time with someone who never really wanted me. And here I am, nearly thirty, and I still don't have anyone who wants me. How, Bucky? How can he be so sure of her after so little time? Why was I never enough for him to treat me like that?"
Bucky sighed, his fingers gently running up and down her spine.
(Forever In My Mind - T3NZU, ZVNNDRO)
"I don't know Soph. I guess…sometimes you meet someone and… you just know."
She turned her head, cheek resting against her knee as her eyes locked with his. The way he was looking at her made her stomach flip flop. Sophie leaned up and placed her lips against his once more. The kiss this time was soft but urgent, a desperation behind it Bucky hadn't ever felt from her, not even the first time they'd slept together. He pulled back gently, gaze running over her face, breath shallow.
"What are you doing?"
His voice came out low and raspy and he had to clear his throat.
"Trying to turn you on," she whispered back.
Bucky's head turned away from her slightly as he looked at her dubiously.
"Seriously?"
"Bucky I…" she took in a shaky breath, never breaking eye contact. "I just need to feel something right now. Something other than this awful, painful, feeling of not being enough. I just…I just want to feel wanted."
He stared at her, heart hammering in his chest. He wasn't the playboy of his youth any longer and he knew he wanted more, but right now, Sophie was all he had. And he was safe with her. She wouldn't hurt him…right?
"Please Bucky," she pleaded. "Please…make me feel loved."
His breath caught in his throat at her words. A lone tear tricked down her cheek and he reached out to brush it away, vibranium fingers cupping her cheek once more. He leaned in, lips hovering over hers.
"Ok."
"Ok?"
"Yeah…Ok," his eyes scanned over her face. "You know I'd do anything for you Soph."
The kiss was so tender Sophie nearly cried again. Breaking apart after a beat, his nose brushed against hers.
"Just go slow," she breathed against his lips.
He nodded. Coming to a stand, Bucky pulled her up with him. Fingers just barely tangled together, he tugged her along behind him into his bedroom.
They stood facing one another beside his bed. Ever so slowly, he began to undress her. She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat. A shiver ran its way down her spine when his fingers grazed over bare skin with each article of clothing he removed. Sophie's eyes opened slowly and she stared up at him through her lashes. Slowly, her hands went to the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. He reached behind her and unsnapped her bra just as she undid his jeans, shoving them down his hips. They stood in front of each other in nothing but their underwear. Eyes scanning over each other's bodies, their hands reached out to delicately touch exposed skin.
Sophie mewled when his warm thumb ran over a nipple. She could see his erection growing, tenting his gray boxer briefs. He stepped up close to her, chest pressing against hers and bent down to kiss her. Lips hot and gentle, he pried her mouth open, allowing his tongue to slip inside and explore. Bucky sighed into her mouth. She ran her fingers gently over his back and pressed her hips into his, feeling him hard and wanton against her. Taking a step back, he hooked his fingers into the band of her panties and tugged until they dropped down her legs. She did the same to him until they both stood completely bare.
Backing up a step, Sophie crawled backwards onto his unmade bed. He followed suit, eyes remaining trained on hers. She laid back and parted her legs to make room for Bucky. He covered her body with his own, resting his weight on his left forearm and his knees. His right palm skimmed up her body, touching and caressing gently while soft whimpers escaped her lips. At last, he reached her face. Cupping it tenderly, he kissed her again. Tongue flicking out, he licked her bottom lip until she granted him entrance once more. Their mouths tangled in something so slow and sensual it made her heart ache.
Pulling apart, they breathed heavily against one another. His nose grazed gently along her jawline until his lips dipped to kiss her below her ear. Sophie let out a quiet moan, body writhing with need underneath him. Bucky lowered himself further, allowing his stiff cock to rub through her wet folds and against her clit. She whimpered.
"Uuunnngg…"
Lifting back up slightly, he stared at her while his right hand made its way back down. He caressed her body gently, lovingly, as it trailed down to her hip. Reaching up, her hands tangled in the hair at the back of his head, tugging lightly.
"Bucky," she whispered.
Still maintaining eye contact, his cock notched at her opening, gently nudging her folds apart. She gasped, head tilting slightly backwards as Bucky pushed into her. He continued his path, slowly moving deeper until he was fully sheathed within her. Mouth dropping open, he let out a low groan of pleasure.
"Oh God, Sophie."
At last, he lowered himself completely on top of her, his mouth meeting hers in a hot and needy kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist, letting him slip in just a little further. They moaned together, lips only a hairsbreadth apart. Taking a moment to enjoy the sensation of being completely connected, they lay still, wrapped up in one another. Then Bucky began to slowly rock. Sophie clung to him as he moved in and out of her in an unrushed and sensual rhythm. His hips curled, cock stroking her, filling her. Their bodies undulated together just as their lips and hands touched everything they could.
Gentle sighs and moans filled the silence while they took pleasure and comfort in each other. She lifted her hips, meeting his thrust for thrust, grinding herself against him. Wrapping her arms around his torso, he could feel her nails digging into his skin. His mouth found hers once more, the kiss deep and passionate, fogging Sophie's brain with emotions she'd been holding back. He nipped gently on her lip and she mewled. Bucky could feel her walls start to tighten around his stiff length. He pulled his mouth away from her and rested his forehead against hers, noses gently brushing. She whimpered, eyes screwed shut. He picked up the pace, pressing into her hard and deep. The sight of her biting her lower lip was so erotic that he felt his peak suddenly within reach.
"Sophie," he breathed against her face. "Look at me."
It was as much of a plea as it was a command. She opened her eyes slowly, cinnamon orbs finding soft blue ones. The look of reverence on his face jarred her. Then suddenly, her mouth fell open, body clutching onto his as she began to fall over the edge. It hit her like a tsunami and she gasped, head tipping backwards, eyes fluttering shut again. She cried out softly. Torrents of pleasure and a twisting of emotions pounded through her. Everything she'd been trying to hold back for the man above her, everything she didn't want to think about, everything she didn't want to admit to. It all descended upon her at once, overwhelming her. Sophie suddenly found silent tears tracking down her face again. But this time, it had absolutely nothing to do with Jeremy. This time it was for everything that could have been, had Jeremy never come into her life.
Bucky watched her through her orgasm, mesmerized. His hips curled into her once more and he followed over the edge of the cliff. Resting his forehead against the pillow, his mouth met her shoulder. He rocked them both as wave after wave of ecstasy kept them pulled under. Moaning, he whispered her name over and over into her ear. Squeezing his eyes shut, he attempted to stymie the flood of emotions that burst through his chest. They'd had sex in various positions, during varied situations and in different moods. They'd been timid, they'd been rough, they'd been slow and sweet. But this, tonight, this was something else entirely. And as he lay there, still connected with her and still completely wrapped up in her embrace, he had to remind himself that at the end of the day they were nothing more than just friends. Sophie had asked him to make her feel loved and wanted and he had complied. That was all.
The sudden feeling of wetness against his cheek was startling. His brain seemed to finally catch up to what he had witnessed only moments before. The idea that she might have been thinking about someone else during their coupling was gut wrenching. The knowledge that her tears were over another man immediately made it hard for him to breathe. Bucky took in an unsteady breath and attempted to shove the thoughts and feelings aside. This wasn't supposed to change anything between them. This agreement they'd made, everything was supposed to stay the same. And yet…As his thoughts began to wander where he didn't want them to go, he tried to shut himself down. This was not a road he was willing to go down. He'd been tortured enough to last him multiple lifetimes, there was no need to add to that. But as he felt his heart rate returning to normal, he turned his head and, unable to help himself, he tenderly kissed away a stray tear.
"Are you ok?" He asked Sophie gently.
She nodded. Slowly, Bucky pulled out of her and rolled to her left, laying flat on his back. She remained where she was, eyes open at last, staring up at the ceiling. Gulping air through shaky breaths, she attempted to stop the heart-rending assault of her emotions.
"I'm fine. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying," she lied to him as she wiped at her face. "I guess I'm just feeling a little over emotional."
This is what she'd asked of him. She'd told him to make her feel loved and wanted and he had done exactly that. It was nothing. Nothing more than playing a part for him. Nothing more than just accommodating what she'd requested. They were just friends with benefits, no strings attached. At the very beginning, she had assured him that nothing would change between them if they went down this path.
And nothing has changed. We're still just…just friends. That's it.
Bucky reached out, his large and warm hand enclosing around her smaller one, fingers interlaced. She felt him run his thumb over her own. The gesture was familiar. One they'd both done numerous times in the past. But now, Sophie had to remind herself to breathe. Her stomach twisted itself into knots.
So why does it feel like he just made love to me? And why do I want it to be true so bad?
A/N: So this Hydra stuff has taken on a life of its own! It's definitely more involved than I had originally planned, but so far I'm having fun writing it. I also really loved writing this last scene here and I hope you all felt the massive emotions between Sophie and Bucky as I'd intended. Looking forward to hearing some feedback :)
Anyway, a very heartfelt thank you to everyone who left me a wonderful review for the last chapter! I really hope you all enjoyed this one just as much, if not more! Alices Rabbit1, Season Two, Gemmalou1994, Vokunkendov, acquamarina, Clarkewrites, and MultiMuu.