July 14th, 2018
Ran into Dom's mother today. I haven't seen her since everything happened. Never even told her about how he went. I just can't. I don't think I'm ready to talk about that. I haven't even told my therapist. I don't think I can even write it here. It's just too much.
It was just so mundane, you know? Just so fucking blasé. I came home from work, and he was there. I asked him how his day was and he told me. He asked how mine went and just as I was about halfway through a story about my coworker Carl gluing a tee wye backwards he started to flake. It happened so fast, and I had no idea what was happening. One minute, my husband, the love of my life, was standing before me, laughing about Carl's repeated stupidity and the next he was so much fucking dust in the air.
Huh, I guess I was ready to write it here. It just came pouring out. I don't know of I feel any better having written it down but seeing it in black and white like this gives it a little more weight. I don't know. I just miss him.