Broken Soul

"La da-da-da. Let's see what Lili wrote?"

. . .

"Oh, Lili. You're such a naughty girl to think about that."

"Though we can't say we don't feel the same way, we even agreed to be by her side. Tee-he-he."

"Now for Delilah."

. . .

"Ah, this can be useful. I'll save it for later."

"Finally, it's Tok's turn."

…

"Bwahahaha! Tok, can you be any more hilarious? I mean, this isn't even a letter for me. It's just a drawing you made."

"Ah! What a riot you are."

. . .

"Maybe being here might be way more fun than we imagined."

"La-da-da-da."

I always wonder how my life ended this way, or rather, why I ended up in such an unforgiving manner. There could be an answer, but it's never the one that makes us feel better or helps us to love life the way we believe it should be.

However, I should start at the beginning to make sense of it all.

My name is Elizabeth Fairchild, or just Eli since I hated the name that my mother gave me. I was born in Utah in the 'Upper Deer Valley' within a very wealthy community. Mother was a wealthy businesswoman who ran her own company and didn't have time for me. Father was great at making delicious wine, but he didn't care about me or Mom and had an affair when no one was looking.

I was born on the first of October, but my birth was not joyful. I was left alone in the hospital while my mother managed to escape while leaving me there, or so they told me.

But those little things should wait a bit longer. Even though I was taken from the hospital to my home, I was not cared for or loved by my parents; instead, I was given the bear essentials: a room, a bed, six pairs of three of the same clothes, a small amount of food, and a single lovely doll as my only birthday gift for the rest of life.

At the age of four, I was put to massive study sessions in math, literature, ballet practice, art, and even proper edict. My mother said that I couldn't mess up even once, or I would be severely punished. It was hard, but I had a talent for being good at doing hard things. Three months into my studies, I was able to solve AP math on a high school level for advanced studies, ace several acceptable kinds of literature without a single mistake, dance like an angle in ballet, painted several amazing drawings that would put Da Vinci to shame, and became an all-around achiever in my fields that I was told to participate.

Yet, none of those made my mother love me as her flesh and blood, nor did it make me happy to do all of them.

I just wanted Mommy to love me, her daughter. I wanted her to see me as her child, but that never happened; she only liked how my accomplishments brought her fame and prestige. But it wasn't as if she never talked or said anything to me. She always reminded me of one thing, "Keep winning at everything so you can make me look good. But mess up once, and you will get it." Those words stood by me when I was little because I feared for my life if I ever failed that monster.

It wasn't all bad. Though I never received a gift from my mother, my father did give me a present. It was a stitched doll with red curly hair, a green dress, and blue eyes with a bright and beautiful smile. He got me this because he wanted to introduce me to his mistress and pretend to like her as a motherless daughter. I didn't disobey because I loved my doll, and I also loved my second mommy.

I called my doll Lilith. We did everything together: from playing house, going on make-believe adventures, singing, dancing, to… pretending to be her m-mother and her my daughter. I loved her so much. I took her everywhere, even when I started school in a girls' private academy. She was the light of my life, and thanks to her, I began to enjoy my life. But I guess it's true what they say that not every good thing lasts forever.

It all started when I attended middle school.

Since day one, everyone despised me for being me. They hated how successful I was. They hated how pretty I was. They hated how I was a good student all the time. I never understood why they were that way because I was always so kind and loving towards everyone, even when they weren't, but I guess that was a lesson I had to learn the hard way when they took it too far. It was seventh grade and I'd just finished gym class and went towards the locker rooms. Just as I was about to change, a group of bullies came up, pinned me against the wall, and began to threaten me.

I'll tell you the short version of the first half. They were going to make my life hell because that's what goody-goody little girls like me deserve. They slapped me when I talked back. They punched me in the stomach until I fell to the floor, then they went towards my open lock and got my backpack. They opened it and took out my favorite doll since I took her to school that day. I begged them not to hurt her, but they silenced me by covering my mouth while they held me down and made me watch. They tore her apart, cut off her hair, and tried to flush her down the toilet.

I must have snapped from seeing Lili all torn up because I remember breaking free from one of the girls who held me in place and running towards the one who held Lili's remains. I pulled and struggled to get Lilith's remains back to me; though the main bully punched and shoved me a lot, I managed to get Lili back in my arms. I was about to run away, but I blacked out afterward.

What came after was me waking up in the nurse's room and seeing the nurse, the principal, one of the gym teachers, and my parents there. The girls beat me senseless until I blacked out, but I was still holding onto the remains of Lili. Soon, one of the gym teachers came in and stopped them from beating me further, and then she called the principal and the nurse. In the end, those girls were suspended, but the main bully was expelled for excessive force. But this was no happy ending for me.

When I returned home, instead of my mo… of her comforting me, that woman slapped me hard across my face and looked at me with a furious gaze. She was mad at me for causing such a scene, even though I was the victim and hadn't done anything. She then yelled at me for a while until she looked at the remains of my Lilith; she told me where I got such a thing. The only thing that came out of me was that I said that Lilith was a gift that I got. She looked at father to see if he was the one who gave me Lili, and he nodded his head. She then took the remains of her from me; I tried to get her back but couldn't since I was afraid of her. She then went to the kitchen and came back with a bucket and a lighter. The rest was history after that and I felt a piece of me die that day.

But something strange happened after that. Even though a piece of me did die that day, it was as if that piece was born again. I wouldn't have known it if it wasn't for a sign that came after.

But I'm not going to talk about that. I'm here to talk about how my life took a turn; though each turn that life handed did make me more special, I'm not here to tell you that part. That's for later.

A few years later and having to be alone without Lili by my side. I began high school and it wasn't any better than middle school since I was still bullied for my kindness and intelligence. But I managed to get through the day somehow; I even began to become a star student when it came to achieving high remarks on high-level tests and solving impossible answers that were above my grade. However, I was so immersed in my dance classes that my ballet routine was becoming second nature from basics to master levels. I could do a 'Pirouettes' in one go after twirling and doing several high leaps. I could also perform 'Pique Tour' in three goes' without messing up. But despite my superb skills, I usually take things slow and easy since I prefer to do more relaxed or gentle movements.

But my success in my accomplishments was that I did them without issue or effort. To be clear about what I was saying, it was as if I wasn't putting much thought into or doing any of these things without realizing that I'd done them until it was over. Now, I know that experts in specific crafts and fields can perform movements through muscle memory without effort, but what I was experiencing wasn't anything like that. I remember starting the dance number or the test, but I can't remember midway through it or I wake up to see that I've completed it without any issue. I asked my teacher if I was focused during my exams, and they said yes, I was dead focused on my work with a determined look from what they told me.

But the weirdest thing that happened came in the form of a child-like wonder.

To head back into my cruel life for a second for some clarity. I was fifteen at the time and due to my high remarks in school, I was going to graduate early because of my talent. However, I wasn't as amazed or overly proud of my accomplishments as my peers. I felt unhappy with what I'd done because all of it was forced upon me in strife, and it was never my choice to do any of it, nor did I enjoy it since it was always done towards the success and prestige of my mother gain and not my enjoyment or gratification. I felt like a tool and I didn't enjoy all the extravagant joys in life; heck, even the simple things had to be perfect since there was no room for childish things. But that all changed when I discovered the joys of cartoons.

For the last fifteen years of my life, I've never gotten the chance to watch a single cartoon or animated film in all my life. Crazy, right? But that changed when I glimpsed over a student's shoulder to see a video. And when I saw it, it was the funniest, the most joyful thing I had ever seen in all my life. Since then, I've taken any opportunity I could to watch as many cartoons as possible and draw them during my pastime, and the time spent doing all these things made me feel so at ease and happy, even more so than ever before. The strangest thing was that I'd often wake up in the middle of the night and see myself as a naked clown or had done something silly.

There was no downside since I'd managed to keep it hidden from my parents. I just enjoyed being the happiest girl on earth with what I found and just believed that I did these things in my sleep because I was so enamored by them.

And then that moment passed in just one day.

I was called by my mother into the living room. There, she told me that I was going to somewhere special. I didn't understand them until afterward, but the lie she spun about this special place was because of my fantastic talent, and I thought this was my golden opportunity to see the world outside of my home and town. So I took it.

I packed my things and said my goodbyes. The most shocking thing was that my father hugged me for the first time and said goodbye to me in a sincere and sad tone. I looked at him and saw the fa- the daddy I've always wanted in these last fifteen years but never got the chance. I told him I would message him and visit regularly whenever I got the opportunity. I felt after and got ready for the world ahead of me.

But let me finish this story now because there's no point in talking about a painful past. Though I did go somewhere special, it was no fantasy like my monster mother told me. I was sent to be a young bride to a rich bastard since my mother struck up a deal with this man and said that if I married him, he would get my mother more fame and power than she ever had. I soon figured that out too late and got illegally married to this man. During the wedding night, I was scared and helpless by what this man was about to do to me. He came into the room while I sat at the front end of the bed, and as she came closer to me, I closed my eyes and asked for anyone to save me.

Then, in the darkness, I heard a voice that echoed through me and said, "Don't worry, you are safe now." I slowly opened my eyes and saw the most terrifying thing. I saw the man's dead body in front of me with blood everywhere. And that is when my life changed since then.

I'd been arrested for his murder and sentenced to an asylum for the rest of my days. But you know, it's not so bad in here. I've made friends with three very close people, and they helped me to be more of who I am. You already know one of them. They're called Lili, Delilah, and Tic Tok, or just Tok for short.

But you know, while I'm okay being in this place, I want to know what life is like outside of my little prison. I've been here for a couple of months now. I just turned sixteen, but a place this small can't keep me locked up forever. I've read that there have been people like me who are just as unique or even more so than me. I would like to see them.

Until next time.

A/N: Hello readers. Sorry if I haven't been active; it's just because I've been taking things slow and have been working on an actual book. But don't worry, I will post a few stories later, just not as frequently. Also, If you haven't noticed this about Eli, she is not a patient in the Dawn Valley Asylum. She is admitted to an asylum, just not one that I'm willing to say yet.

Also, I made her story less detailed about her insanity because I'm saving her potential for a later day. Plus, from a narrative perspective, she's straight to the point and wants you all to know about her tragedy but not what she gained from it, such as her wonderful friends.

Also, she is neither a new nor past inmate of the Dawn Valley Asylum since she was never registered there. Cronogaicly speaking, she is not the fourth inmate to be introduced to the asylum, just the fourth to be mentioned in the story.