A/N: This fic is fully drafted and will be updated weekly on Wednesdays. It's not going to be epic length; it will probably stay under 20k words and 10 chapters or less unless truly wild things happen during editing.

This is overall intended to be something fun, fairly light, and, er, filthily smutty later on because I needed a mental break from my actual writing projects. As to why this? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter 1

The lights flickered ominously as Hermione rushed into the emergency triage ward where her newest difficult patient had been apparated.

Wildly flailing inky black limbs filled her vision as her patient fought against the aurors who had brought him here. She couldn't see a face through the writhing wall of limbs, but the… tentacles were definitely attached to a male's torso wearing a tattered white shirt and dragon hide gloves.

Harry, wearing similar but intact attire, was flung back by a powerful tentacled swipe. Hermione grabbed him by the sleeve before he could re-enter the fray.

"Harry! What happened? I need any information you have so I can fix," she gestured vaguely at the tentacled wizard still railing against his captors, who were still trying to physically restrain him, "whatever happened there."

The inhuman screech that punctuated her statement only further confirmed her suspicion that this wasn't some misguided bit of human transfiguration gone awry.

If anything, going by the obvious physical presentation and the scent of salt on the air, her patient had been turned into some sort of merperson.

Which was patently ridiculous. Merfolk couldn't cause a wizard to transform into one of them, and yet-

"It's Malfoy," Harry said in a rush, "we were investigating reports of illegal selkie capture off the coast when this octopus lady thing shot out of the water and bit him. And then Malfoy started turning into… that. I barely got him back to base before she pulled him under. Then we came straight here with back up to hold him."

Holding him still wasn't going very well; the bestial screeches only grew in volume, and his escape attempts redoubled. Harry rushed off to help.

Hermione slowly stepped closer, trying to get a better read on her patient. Magical transformation wasn't her specialty, but perhaps taking into account the tentacles, a kraken, would be the more specific descriptor of what Malfoy had been turned into.

She racked her brain for everything she knew. A magical creature more rare than phoenixes and unicorns combined. They were supposedly nearly extinct, and had a predictable predilection for fish and attacking fishing vessels. Again, nothing she'd ever read suggested they could cause a biological transformation in wizards.

The screeching was growing louder now, but it was accompanied by short, gasping breaths. Her curiosity would have to wait.

"We need to get him into water, immediately!"

Hermione jumped into action, transfiguring the closest unoccupied bed into a glass container roughly twice the size and depth of a standard bathtub.

"Marinus!" She shouted, and seeing what she was doing, Harry broke away from the struggle and swiftly copied her lead, helping her fill the makeshift tank with seawater.

In full healer mode, Hermione rushed to the bed to direct the aurors to move her patient into the tank, but as soon as she reached Malfoy's sight line, he froze. His normally grey eyes has had become uncanny a in his transformation, twin pools of silvery pupil-less, sclera-less orbs following her every move.

Yes. Definitely a kraken.

Hermione raised her hands non-threateningly and moved with caution.

"Mr. Malfoy, I need you to remain calm. I'm here to help," she said moving slowly forward, "We're just going to move you to a tank so you will be more comfortable while I assess your… condition. Okay?"

He tilted his platinum blond head as though he couldn't understand a word she was saying.

Damn.

"It's okay, Malfoy," she continued in the soothing tone she used on Crookshanks before a bath, "everything is going to be fine."

A terrifying rattle reverberating from Malfoy's chest was the only warning Hermione received before tentacles snapped out and grabbed her by the wrists and waist.

Before she could blink, the creature that was Draco Malfoy had her flipped underneath himself, pinning her to the cot. He sniffed at her, nuzzling at her throat and Hermione froze.

Come to think of it, that particular soothing tone had always made Crookshanks suspicious of her intentions.

"Stun him!" came Harry's frenzied words as Malfoy's rattle dropped in register, almost like an incredibly disconcerting purr.

Several streams of red light flashed over their heads and Malfoy finally got hit by several, collapsing his strangely distributed weight directly on top of her. His face nestled somewhere it definitely had no business being. Hermione groaned in relief as the weight was lifted off of her a moment later, and the temporarily stunned wizard was maneuvered by the team of aurors into the tank.

Pulling herself back up, Hermione cast a hasty anti-escape ward around the tank now holding her patient.

"Rennervate," she cast from behind the small wall of aurors.

Immediately, the more-creature-than-wizard version of Malfoy burst up from the tank, slapping angry hands against the invisible wall containing him.

Concerned for her patient's distress, Hermione pushed past Harry and the other auror standing next to him.

Malfoy immediately settled back into the water, glaring over her at the wizards and witches behind her, though the warning rattle never ceased.

"Harry, I need to ask you and your team to leave."

Hermione chewed her bottom lip, her gut telling her this is what needed to happen.

"What? And leave you alone with him? Malfoy's completely feral right now. He doesn't even remember his own name!"

Harry made to grab her shoulder, causing a new round of screeching and vicious chest rattling.

Hermione shrugged her friend off and stepped closer to the tank.

The rattling quieted to a rumble. Odd.

"The number of you pointing your wands at my patient is only agitating him and exacerbating the situation. We have protocols in place. I'll handle it from here," Hermione said confidently, leaving no room for argument. "Shouldn't you be off informing his next of kin?"

Harry swiped a sheepish hand behind his head.

"Right, well, I guess we'll leave you to it then."

A cacophony of cracks signaled the departure of the half-dozen aurors crowding her sick ward.

Hermione kept her voice light and soothing as she approached (just not dubious bath-time soothing), not wanting to be tugged under by the Malfoy-kraken lest she drown this time.

She needn't have worried though, whether by the excitement having passed or the draining nature of his abrupt transformation, Malfoy's quicksilver eyes lost focus and he promptly fainted.

"We need a more permanent solution," Hermione dragged her hand down her face. "We can't keep him in a fish tank the size of extra-large bathtub."

It had been a long day that stretched into a longer evening. Her shift had technically ended three hours ago, but as a lead healer, Hermione felt it was her duty to see a case through to a point of stability. Bringing the next shift leader into it rankled, though she knew Raskin here was an excellent healer and more than capable of taking care of matters until she returned in the morning.

Though it wasn't often, or ever, that she received cases quite like this, Hermione simply hated missing out on a difficult project.

Once he was unconscious, stabilizing Malfoy had been simple. His shirt was beyond salvage and she promptly vanished it. His trousers and shoes were missing casualties. The gloves were fine, and she set them aside, looking him over for any other injury.

His lower half now resembled that of an octopus with eight black tentacles that contrasted starkly with his pale skin at the transition near his waist. With infinite time, she would have examined that lower half further, but who knew when he would wake? Malfoy waking to her prodding his tentacles was an unmitigated recipe for disaster, and Hermione didn't relish drowning or strangulation. She moved on in her assessment.

Aside from the obvious, there really wasn't anything wrong with him.

Her most difficult task had been creating the seawater-proof bandages for his bicep where the the creature had bitten him. The bite was deep with sharklike punctures. Miraculously, whatever had bitten him had done only that and not taken a chunk of his arm along with it. The wound itself was imbued with whatever magic had transformed him; it had to be left to heal in the slow way.

Hermione mentally catalogued every detail of the bite with the intention of extracting the memory later for further examination. Perhaps she could use it to compare against any literature she could find.

The next hardest thing had been removing the sneaky tentacle that had somehow wrapped around her thigh as she worked on his arm. Though that wasn't really hard at all, given it seemed to be an idle attachment. The reflexive capture was fascinating, though. She imagined that natural krakens might need such built in defense mechanisms in the wild. And their tentacles might not be so gentle.

Hermione was dead tired, but her mind was still a-whir with the excitement of discovery. It had been so long, too long, since she had such a uniquely interesting case.

Hannah popped her head in to her office, "Uh, Hermione? Oh! Or Healer Raskin, Mr. Malfoy is awake, and his mother is demanding that he be remanded into her care."

A headache was brewing between her temples, but Hermione was glad she was still here to take care of this. Raskin would have likely begrudgingly given in.

Hermione had developed something of a strained rapport with Narcissa Malfoy in the decade or so since the war. They were often attendees at the same charity functions, after all.

"I'll speak with her," Hermione volunteered, "I'm on my way out, anyway."

Hannah was visibly relieved as they made their way back.

Hermione needed more data to figure out how to get her childhood nemesis back to his good old snarky, non-tentacled self.

Hannah had stepped in to take over after Hermione completed all the diagnostics. She would be a good place to start.

"How did he seem to you?"

"Well, he's been awake since shortly after his mother arrived, actually. Dealing with him before that was easy. Once he was awake, he screeched at me every time I tried to get near him to run a new diagnostic."

"Hmm. And how is he with his mother?"

Hannah looked away, embarrassed.

"Well, Mrs. Malfoy is understandably distraught. But he keeps making these sad little crooning noises. I think he's trying to cheer her up."

Hermione stopped in her tracks.

"Wait, he recognizes her?"

If so, this was great news. Harry hadn't been too far off the mark earlier when he'd called Malfoy feral. But if he was coming out of it and recognizing people close to him, there was every chance this could be a transient event that might not even need further medical intervention!

"Well, I think he recognizes that she's close to him, but I'm not sure he really understands their relationship. He's been completely non-verbal, and seems… like an intelligent wild animal more than anything."

The bubbled of hope in her chest deflated, though it could still be the case that he simply needed time to come out of it.

"Thanks, Hannah." Hermione said as they parted at the door, and Hannah left to do her normal rounds.

Narcissa perched delicately on one of the visitor's chairs. Malfoy was draped over the edge of the tank with his chin resting on his forearms, making the sad crooning noises Hannah mentioned. His dark tentacles streamed out behind him, furling and unfurling in a mesmerizing flow of motion.

Hermione cleared her throat, and both platinum blond heads snapped to her as she walked into the room.

"Mrs. Malfoy, it's good to see you, though I wish it were under different circumstances."

A picture of poise, despite the obviously bloodshot eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, Narcissa sat impossibly straighter.

"Miss Granger, I want to take my son home while I find the best care for him."

"Mrs. Malfoy," Hermione replied in her best politely assertive voice, "We are doing everything we can to get your son back to normal. I need to keep him under observation here for the time being."

"St. Mungos is obviously not equipped to handle-"

Hermione only half-listened to Narcissa's diatribe; she'd long ago learned that sometimes, patients and their families simply needed to air their complaints.

The greater portion of her attention was drawn back to the woman's son. He had not looked away from her since she announced her presence, and it was becoming a bit disconcerting.

As if sensing her discomfort, Malfoy's chest gave that strange rattle in that low register from earlier- the not-threatening almost purr-growl sound. Hermione's lower belly flipped inappropriately. His rattling hum turned inquisitive.

Nothing good could come of a purring Malfoy.

Deciding that in this instance discretion was the better part of valor, Hermione decided to take the discussion elsewhere. She was still unsure of how much he really understood, after all, and it wouldn't do to alarm him if he understood them but simply couldn't communicate it at the moment.

Her decision had absolutely nothing to do with her own strange reaction to his undivided attention.

"Ah, Mrs. Malfoy, I think we're agitating him. Perhaps it would be best that we continue this discussion outside?" Hermione watched Malfoy closely from the corner of her eye as she addressed his mother.

The forlorn witch looked over to her son and back to Hermione before nodding once and following her into the hallway, their steps dogged by a new sad sound in the Kraken-Malfoy repertoire.

Hermione led the older witch into a nearby consulting room. It was blessedly empty, so late after normal hours.

"You're not wrong that we are woefully under equipped to handle a case like your son's."

Narcissa opened her mouth to comment, but Hermione held up a hand to indicate that she wasn't done. To her surprise, Narcissa didn't cut her off.

"I can't imagine he would be any better off at home, however. These first twenty-four hours are critical to determining the best course of action for his care. He was suffocating on air shortly after he arrived, but now seems to fine to breathe air since he's in the tank I transfigured for him. I believe he needs to be at least partially submerged to accommodate his present anatomy. He needs to be monitored by medical staff in case any other incidents occur."

Hermione paused to catch her breath, considering her next words carefully, as Narcissa could and would remove him if she mis-stepped.

Malfoy had been an auror for nearly as long as Hermione had worked in healing. While they would likely never be the best of friends, she had become accustomed to his tangential presence in her life as Harry's frequent partner in field missions.

He'd even started attending their impromptu after work nights at the Leaky in recent months. She'd even laughed at one of his jokes just three days ago when he had said something witty and only a little bit horrible.

It could have just as easily been Harry in that tank. She would be doing her best for Harry. She would do her best for Malfoy. He was almost, sort of, a friendly acquaintance these days.

"I will freely admit that this is beyond my normal wheelhouse of healing. I need to do some additional research on his condition, but I want you to know that I am completely invested in getting your son back to his normal self. Also, given the nature of his malady, I would like to minimize visitors for the time being, which I am not certain can be done in a home setting."

"What sort of preparations would I need to make to make his further convalescence at home acceptable?"

Sensing she had at least forestalled the inevitable long enough to get a little more data on her patient, Hermione's shoulders sagged in relief.

"I haven't yet ruled this out as a transient episode, in which case he could spontaneously revert to normal within the next day. I do believe, however, it is rather more likely we will need to actively perform some sort of magic to change him back."

Hermione tapped her chin in thought. "In the case of an extended convalescence, you would need a saltwater tank the size of a proper aquarium exhibit for starters. And you would need to take precautions to protect yourself and any others. We don't know if he is capable of spreading his condition to others, in a similar vein to lycanthropy."

Hermione certainly hoped not, as if so, she was likely looking at patient one of the were-kraken race. That latter part was mostly just to scare Narcissa out of her plan.

Naturally, it was for naught. Narcissa didn't so much as blink at Hermione's answer.

"And once I have his accommodations sorted, you will release him?"

Of course, it would be no major feat for the Malfoy family to build a giant habitat for their wildly-creature-altered heir on a whim.

Hermione worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"If that is what is deemed best after the initial observation period," Hermione relented. Ultimately, it wasn't up to her. "In the case he returns home with his condition unresolved, I would like to remain in charge of his care plan if possible. Beyond the obvious anatomical alterations, your son is physically in excellent health. However, I am highly concerned about his apparent amnesia as well as his state of mind, and I would like to try to reverse the transformation sooner rather than later."

"You understand I shall bring in our family healer for a second opinion," Narcissa replied primly.

"Of course," she said with a nod; Hermione rather counted on it.

She simply hoped they figured this out nonsense swiftly. Otherwise, the Draco Malfoy he'd been before might be doomed.