This is Fanfiction that Danny and Star wrote in "How I Met the Love of my Life." I hope you enjoy my story! Anyway, I have three accounts where I post all of my fanfiction. One is Archiveofourown under the username FangirlWriter1!, under the username DaniMason, on Wattpad under the name FangirlWriter. And finally, I have a Twitter Account with the username DaniMason2019. Please follow it for updates on my stories and other messages.

I am also thinking of getting a Tumblr for Fanfiction Updates. What do you guys think?

ALSO please check out if your guys' settings have you signed up for email notifications if you are reading this on .

-DaniMason

Hi, we are Noir and Blondie! We are the duo behind the account spookydogs1234! We decided to write a crack fanfiction about Hogwarts! We hope you guys enjoy this story. This story IS NOT meant to be taken seriously.

We are two people who just want to mess around so their is going to be no updating schedule. We just want to have fun. It would be nice to get some reviews and favorites. And maybe even some follows!

-spookydogs1234

The Hogwarts Staff were like circus monkeys. Hogwarts was masquerading as a professional institution. The year was 1991 and the Hogwarts staff had many plans for the next school year.

The staff all walked into the meeting room, and Dumbledore was the last one there. He loved being fashionably late and making himself the center of attention.

"Hi, I am Dumbledore. And here are my plans to make the Hogwarts students' lives hell!

McGonagall: "Albus, we all know your name!"

"Anywaysie, we are going to store a dangerous, highly sought-after rock called the Philosophers Stone or, for all the Americans out there, the Sorcerers Stone! The only defenses protecting it will be able to be defeated by students!"

"Albus, you are an absolute genius! Stunning with your gaudy robes and horrible fashion sense, but everyone thinks it suits you, barmy old man!" Sprout shouts

Everyone clapped in agreement.

Flitwick squeaked out "I can charm a nice trap with flying keys!"

McGonagall said I can charm a chess set and have the intruder can play against it.

Dumbledore muttered louder than he thought: A trio of first-years can get past it, it is perfect!

Pomfrey questioned, "Dumbledore what did you say?"

Dumbledore convincingly, at least convincingly to the Hogwarts Staff said "I said that a trio of first years could not get past it. Therefore it is perfect!

Hagrid: That makes complete sense Dumbledore! You are a great wizard Dumbledore!

Dumbledore flushed with false humility to Hagrid and said "I am not that great of a wizard."

Everyone but Hagrid and Snape rolled their eyes at Dumbledore's false humility. He loved people knowing that he was a great wizard. He loved the Chocolate Frogs, and all the books that mentioned him, he enjoyed the books about him.

Querill said, "I can put a troll as a trap since it is my specialty."

Snape drawled "I can do a riddle and they have to take the right potion. Only dunderheads can't figure it out, and most people are dunderheads."

Snape thought Dumbledore hung the sun because he believed him about still loving Lily Potter. No one else ever seemed to believe him about it. Much to Snape's confusion. He had not washed his hair since Lily Potter touched it when he crashed her wedding and tried to marry her in place of James Potter.

Lily in her mind-controlled state (this is Snape's thought process, not fact) banged Snape's head into the altar several times until Snape ran away. Snape did not know that the minute he had run out, everyone toasted Lily for her stunning performance against Snape.

Anyway, Snape knew that Professor Querrel was to be possessed by Voldermort or Tommy Boy. He was stalking him for Voldermort.

And so on September 1st chaos reigns in the castle halls and rooms. Dumbledore massively messes up by telling kids not to go into a hallway because it could kill them. Kids love doing things that adults tell them not to do. Especially teenage rebels.

At the Opening Feast, Dumbledore said "...And don't go into the third-floor corridor, you will meet uncertain death. GO Hogwarts!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other in disbelief and thought "Man Dumbledore is barmy!" Even Hermione who worshiped the ground that authority walked on, thought that Dumbledore was senile.

Though that didn't last long due to the isolation of being alone in a castle with people that thought Dumbledore could do no wrong.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione investigated the mystery behind the Philosopher's Stone since they believe that all adults were incompetent. To be fair to them, they were not competent at all.

After McGonagall not believing the Golden Trio Harry, Ron, and Hermione about the Stone being in danger even though they knew about the Stone, NONE of the students should have any idea that it is at Hogwarts. Let alone that it was in danger.

They ran into all the traps and made it through way too easy. Seriously it was a little wried that this was supposed to guard against dark wizards.

Turns out that much to Harry's surprise Snape was not trying to steal the Phliopsher Stone and it was Querill.

"I thought it was Snape. He hates me!"

"Potter, so self-centered. The whole world does not revolve around you. No wonder Snape doesn't like you. Well, that and the fact that he hated your father with a firey passion."

After a fighting scene that mostly consisted of Harry holding Quirrell's face in his hands and destroying him. Harry was praised for his actions. During the last feast, Dumbledore showed his absolute favoritism toward Gryffindor. He made them win the house cup by awarding points at the last second.

The Gryffindors and the rest of the school loved it except Slytherin. They thought it was super unfair and it really was. Even if a lot of their points were frivolous ones given to them by Snape.