In a dark, wide open but empty space, there was a circle of light that shined down on a round table. Around that table were several thickly cushioned, high-backed chairs.

On those chairs were a group of idiots.

"I call to order this first live-meeting of the Council of Katarinas since 2020!" a childish-looking Katarina with a white moustache on her face said as she slammed down a little gavel. "Now that a certain dreaded disease isn't so rampant anymore, we can finally meet face to face instead of working from home!"

"Boo!" some of the Katarinas cried.

"LOOK, WE PAID A LOT OF IMAGINATION FOR THIS SPACE AND WE'RE USING IT!"

"Sunk cost fallacy!" a Katarina with glasses cried.

"W-working from home is superior!" a timid-sounding Katarina agreed.

"I want to go back home," a Katarina wearing a surgical mask, a plastic face guard, and full body PPE said.

The Katarina with the moustache turned towards them and paused. "Wait, which one are you?"

"I'm Katarina."

"We're all Katarina! I meant which one are you specifically?"

"Ah… Happy!Katarina, I guess?"

Everyone stared at her.

"You know, depression is a serious issue," the Katarina with the glasses said. "Perhaps you should take some time off and… uh, see a therapist, or something."

"She's right," agreed the Katarina with the moustache.

"I suggest working from home so you can use this app that puts you in contact with a—"

With a cry of rage, the Katarina with a moustache leapt bodily at the Katarina with the glasses, scream incoherently about the meeting room already being paid for as they began to roll around on the ground in a cloud of cartoon violence that rolled out of the circle of light and into the vast, dark, empty reaches beyond.

A Katarina who hadn't said anything so far hummed happily as she picked up the gavel that the Katarina with the moustache had dropped and went to sit on the chair that Katarina had also vacated. "Right!" this Katarina declared cheerfully, a devil-may-care smile on her face. "I, Adventurous!Katarina, hereby call this meeting of braincells to order as the Chairman and Studious!Katarina are getting their sexual tension out of their system." From the darkness beyond the circle of light, they could still hear cartoonish violence in progress. "Now, before we begin, let us take a moment of silence to honor Insightful!Katarina, who was with us for all of two minute."

The other Katarinas at the table bowed their head solemnly.

"She died too young," one with a metal bucket on her head with two eyeholes poked through it said solemnly. Over her blue dress, she wore a white t-shirt with a smiley-face on it.

"Never even saw that pinky coming," another one with a big sword in one hand said. "Just got… scrapped out like ear wax."

"Gragh…" another said. Unlike the other Katarinas, this one had long black hair and grey skin. When she bowed her head, it fell off and land on the table, rolling slightly.

"If we're not safe in here, how can Katarina possibly survive out there?" the one in full body PPE said.

"I'm missing p-playing Armored Core 6 to be here," the timid-sound Katarina said. "Hey, whose route should I complete on this playthrough? I already go the Walter True Love ending, and I can go for either the Ayre route or the Rusty route."

"Eh? You're playing that?"

"Well, yeah! I just wish it didn't have so many mecha piloting minigames, but it's still not bad as something-Effect."

"We'll be quick, then," Adventurous!Katarina said. "Now, I know we've been talking to them online for a while, but I'd like you to say hi to the newest members of the Council of Katarinas. First, we have…" Adventurous!Katarina took a deep breath, "THE LEGENDARY YAMADA TAE! Number Zero of the hit Saga-based idol band Franchouchou"

"Gragh," the grey-skinned, black-haired Katarina(?) said, raising up hand and waving it back and forth enthusiastically.

"Uh, can someone help her put her head back on?"Adventurous!Katarina said.

"N-not it,' the timid-sounding Katarina said, pointing at Happy(?)!Katarina. "She's the one in the biohazard suit."

Happy(?)!Katarina sighed. "All right, come on… Ah! She bit me! I'm infected! I'm going to become a zombie!"

"She's not that kind of zombie, Happy(?)!Katarina, sit down," Adventurous!Katarina said. "Right! Next, we have Knight!Katarina!"

The Katarina with the bucket on her head and the smiling t-shirt stood up and raised up her arms in a y-shaped pose. "Greeting, my fellow Katarinas!" she said happily. "It is an honor to finally meet you face to face! I hope we can all work together to help Katarina make better decisions in the future."

There was polite applause punctuated by continuing sounds of cartoon violence in the background as she sat down.

"And finally, we have Stubborn!Katarina, also known as the consequences of Maria's actions," Adventurous!Katarina said.

"Hi!" Stubborn!Katarina greeted. "I'm Stubborn!Katarina! And I'm going to parry with a greatsword!" She waved the oversized sword in her hand, and let out a yelp was the weight made her tip over. There was a beat, and then a hand stuck up, making a thumbs up. "I'm okay!"

"All right," Adventurous!Katarina said cheerfully. "That's all that was in the agenda. Meeting adjourned, and the next time we meet will be online again."

Timid!Katarina sighed. "Was this meeting really necessary? We could have just had a video-call."

"No, but t̴̮̥̬̙͗̃̉h̷̥͌͗̄͛e̷͕̟͂ ̸͙̻͒ą̶͘ȕ̷̝̏t̶̠̞͓̖̊͗h̸̢̤̥̬͗o̶͓̿̂r̵̲͗͠ ̸̦͓̳̈́n̷̖̣̻͑̒͜͠e̸̲̾̾e̸̠̝͐d̷̩̮̟͖̍̓͗̌ȅ̸̱d̸̙̫͍̤̏͂͑ ̷̦̝͆̿a̷͕̰̣͉̿̃̆̕ ̸͖̬̀̈́͗q̸̡̺̫͇͐̾u̸̲̜͆ĩ̶͙̟̚c̸͎̠͕͝ḳ̶͌̆̈́͐ ̵̙̎f̴̡̫̼͗u̷̼̯̅ǹ̶̨͇̜̆̕n̶̛̲͉̘̣y̶̤͈̬̔̚ ̴͇̬̫̋͂͘͝p̵̢̥̟͋̀̍͌ï̴̙͂ḛ̸̛͍̀̔̑c̴͈̰͑e̸̢̩̅̓ ̶̪̩͑͊͜h̶̦̒̐̕ę̵͇̝̣̂ ̷̫͙͒̾̈c̶̬̎̓͂͑ō̶̳̣̻͎͌͗u̵̬̅̈́͑̈́l̴̨̲͇̋͆͊͒d̴̳͋̓ ̶̨̱̫͝ḅ̸̗͔̇͋̍͘â̷̱̱̮̲ņ̵͇̳͍̍̎͌̄g̷̰͎͐̾̈ ̵̩̫̣̣̀o̶̧̚u̴̗͙̲̭͋͗t̵̡͔̮͗̏͘ ̷̲̖̈̾̈̃q̸̧̳̾ṷ̴͐͗͘į̶͎̭́͘͝ͅć̸̻̏̉k̸̺͈̮͍͆̓̕l̶̘̠̜͇̋̈̋͆y̸̨̘͎̝͊͝," Adventurous!Katarina said.

Everyone blinked. "What?" Happy(?)!Katarina said.

"I said I missed you all," Adventurous!Katarina said. "Now come on, let's run for it before the Chairman realizes the meeting is over and forces us to stay and think about something."

And they did.