Gerri lets herself into Roman's bedroom on the yacht without knocking. Roman is lying on the bed staring at his phone, watching Kendall giving evidence to Congress. Ken's name is trending on Twitter, and Connor's fist-pump reaction to their brother's testimony is everywhere in GIF form. Roman being held hostage by terrorists is an embarrassing footnote in an otherwise successful few days for the Roys.
He jumps to his feet at the sight of Gerri, dropping his phone. "I could have been doing anything," he says defensively, although he's glad to see her.
"Luckily I'm unshockable." She walks over to him, and for a moment he thinks she might give him a hug, but she stops in front of him. "I just wanted to see how you really are."
"Yeah, not great."
She nods, looking into his eyes. She waits for him to continue, which must be a lawyer tactic.
"If I had died back there," he says. "My life would have been a complete waste, you know?" It's true: he would have died an embarrassment, a disgrace, the world's only thirtysomething bisexual virgin (if only in the technical sense). "Kendall has his kids, Shiv has her career and Connor, well Connor has the three of us. What would I be remembered for? Blowing off people's thumbs? Jerking off on my office window?"
"We probably wouldn't have put that on your tombstone," Gerri assures him, her lips twitching. "Son and brother, maybe."
"I'm glad everyone finds this so fucking funny." He sinks down on the bed.
"They don't," she says, gentler. "They were desperately worried about you, Ken and the others. It's just their way of trying to make you feel better."
"By asking who I had to blow to get out of there?"
"Did anything else happen?" she asks. "I know you sometimes say true things and make it sound like a joke…"
"I was held at gunpoint. I didn't know if I was gonna make it out of there alive. Isn't that enough?"
"Yes, it's enough."
"The most pathetic thing is, even in a life or death situation, I kept thinking about how disappointed my dad would be in me."
"I don't wanna hear any more self-pity," she says sharply and he looks up, surprised. "Unless you wanna go in there—" She points at his en suite. "And I can yell at you through the door about what a disappointment you are."
He thinks about this, then shakes his head. "I don't want that right now. I hope I haven't lost the ability to get turned on by you yelling at me…"
"It'll come back." She touches his head tenderly, almost stroking his hair.
Maybe it's just a delayed reaction to the trauma, but he feels the sudden need for complete honesty. "I actually did get jerked off by my personal trainer."
"Uh huh."
"It was just the once — twice — and I fired him afterwards."
"Okay."
"And the face tattoo, that was my idea. We paid a hobo, I mean a poor homeless guy, to get Ken's initials tattooed on his face. Ken was high but I wasn't."
"I suspected as much."
"And there's other stuff…" His voice catches. "Stuff I've never told anyone, about Mo and the others, that I wanna tell you, but…"
"Rome, you don't have to say any of this."
"Would you even have cared if I died?" He looks up, meeting her eyes.
She doesn't move her hand from his hair. "Of course I would," she says. "The paperwork would have been a nightmare."
"Yeah, Dad would probably have sued the whole of the Middle East."
"Especially if the deal didn't go through." Roman gives a laugh, a short muffled sound. She leans down and presses her lips to the side of his head.