Forks. -
Jasper was proud at how well he did at sneaking around Alice, because as stated before, with her gift he could rarely surprise her.
But this time he did.
It's been over a month since he started living with the Cullens, and while the whole thing was going much slower than he expected, which alright, he was to blame for, he didn't interact with them, just Renesmee.
And Emmett sometimes.
The others… he still couldn't bring himself to grasp the concept of being around others who meant him no harm, so far, his shaking hands had gotten worse, and so has his appetite.
He's also had several visits to the bathroom, his stomach at times refusing to keep blood down or just generally being a nuisance.
The stomachaches and dizziness had also increased, not a good thing either, even more so because Carlisle insisted on checking him over, he hated each second of it, hated having the man touching him or even so much as asking him things he didn't want to answer, the first few times he hadn't hesitated to snap at him, because whatever ailments he had were none of his business.
But Alice did great at talking him into letting Carlisle help, he had been against it, but she had been so insistent, and she had given him such a pleading look…
Thus, he had agreed, even if that meant letting the man touch him in ways that made Jasper want to rip his hands off, because he would put pressure on his stomach, hard, first time he did Jasper had smacked him so hard his skin had split open.
Because while forewarned about the pain said action would cause he hadn't expected it to be as bad as it had been.
He also checked the strength of his bones, how slow he healed, and he had even requested for a venom sample, something about wanting to see how deep did the vervain ran in his venom.
Still, back to the point at hand, he was proud at how well he did at sneaking around lately, managing to keep her from seeing what he did when he disappeared, he knew she was curious, and worried.
But she didn't ask, which good.
Because he didn't want her asking, she would ruin it all, he wanted her to not know.
He smirked as he caught sight of her, she was standing in the river, barefoot, her smile was bright and her emotions bled all over the place like a wonderful flood of tinkling butterflies; a crown of yellow flowers rested on top of her dark hair, and that, along with the bright gold of her eyes and her white dress created a picture of such stunning perfection that he could do nothing but stare.
Because in moments like these he couldn't help but feel stricken with her otherworldly beauty.
Mesmerized by the fact that this magical angel belonged to him and him alone, and God, that reminder never failed to make him feel all kinds of weaknesses, making his heart threaten to start beating again.
Her skin glimmered like diamonds as the sunlight leaked from in between the canopies of trees, kissing her with its sparkling caress. Her white dress did nothing but enforce the image of her as a goddess, a beautiful spirit, an angel, his queen.
Sometimes he wondered if she was aware of what she did to him, the emotions and feelings she could evoke from him, it was frightening sometimes, to feel so much for one single person, but if it was her he wouldn't mind much.
He wouldn't mind being under her spell, with her bright smiles and her kind hands, he's grown to realize that regardless of what he did, she would never hurt him, she wasn't like the others, she didn't see The Major, a protector, a tool, a threat, not even a puppet.
All she saw was him.
Him.
The person he was behind all the titles and expectations, just him, Jasper.
It was what made him love her so much, what made her so special, she didn't see a monster, he had no idea on the how, but he liked it, liked that there was someone who still had faith in him.
In who he had been, who he could be.
It made him want to protect her, to never let a soul harm her, what made him treasure her so much, she had saved him, and without her he didn't think he would ever be able to keep on living in a world where she wasn't present.
He wanted her to live a beautiful life filled with happiness and all she could ever desire.
To think that little strange beauty who came barging into Volterra that day would become his reason to stop hurting himself, or at least try to not do so as much, mostly because it upset her, and also because with her, he could somewhat ignore the rotten whispers.
She would be the reason for him to strive to do better, to not give up regardless of how terrible some days were.
She gave him something to live for, life with her was never boring, never too dull.
If only his past self could see him now… he would have never believed such a thing could be possible, that of finding his soulmate, but he did.
And as fate would have it, he was gifted the best of the best, who would have said such a cruel world could have such a beautiful angel in it.
And with that last thought he smirked, making use of his near non-existent footsteps alongside Alice's current distraction with the fish swimming close to her feet to sneak up on her.
He could feel her amusement and giddiness as she watched the fish, such simple thing, she always seemed to find joy in the simplest of things.
He didn't mind his boots getting wet as he quietly stepped into the water, his plan to sneak up on her didn't went much well though, the fish were quick to react to the intrusion in the water, swimming off.
Still.
He came up from behind before Alice could turn around, his arms coming around her shoulders as he pulled her into a hug, her surprise tickling his skin as she realized who it was.
-Hello there.- She greeted, happiness oozing from both her voice and emotions as she brought her hands up to touch his arms.- You've been quite busy, these past days.- Alice said, rubbing his arms absentmindedly, it wasn't an accusation, just as statement of fact.
But she wasn't gonna lie, she was curious on what had he been doing, he's been disappearing randomly for random intervals of time, and she couldn't see him no matter how hard she tried.
As if he were avoiding her.
She trusted him, and he didn't seem to be getting worse nor was he hurt, so she tried not to be too worried.
But she still did, because he was disappearing at random, keeping her from being able to see him, she worried he might do something stupid with the Volturi.
Or that he was doing something bad behind her back, like hurting himself somehow, reason she never failed to check on him, even if it meant acting a bit like a pervert when she had sneaked her hands under his shirt in search for potential wounds.
He had given her such a bewildered look alongside something else she hadn't been quite able to decipher, but something about it had made her stop touching him, not wanting to deliver the wrong message.
The last thing she had wanted was to cause a misunderstanding that might lead to an awkward situation.
Point was, she worried, he didn't hurt himself as much as he used to, but he still did, and while she knew she couldn't force him to stop she also wanted to help as much as possible on making those situations less.
There was a reason she had taught him how to deal with panic attacks, or what to do when he felt like biting himself in general, she was aiming to help him deal with his emotions in a less destructive behavior.
But he still had slip ups, she didn't blame him, he was still learning, she was nothing if not patient.
But she still worried.
-What do you mean? Did you see somethin'?- Jasper asked, alarm prickling in his chest, he had made so sure to not leave traces, to be spontaneous, quick, indecisive.
All so she wouldn't see.
So she wouldn't see any of it and potentially ruin it all.
-No, was there something to see?- Alice wondered, turning to look at him with a curious look.
-No.- Jasper is quick to answer, feeling himself relax at her words, she didn't see anything, good.
That was something less to be worried about.
She stroke his hair and he felt his lips twitch, he liked the feeling of her fingers on his head, it never failed to make his muscles relax.
He took advantage of his position to nuzzle her neck affectionately, taking in a deep breath and enjoying her scent for a moment, he liked her scent, she smelt like a field of flowers where the lavender was predominant, but she also smelt like the sun, like spring.
But not just spring, it was more like the beginnings of spring, when the sun burnt bright and the warmth began to make itself known, seeping into all the colors, flowers starting to bloom and life starting to move as animals woke up from hibernation.
It was a strange scent, unique and just… right, he loved it, it was Alice's, his home.
He pressed a soft kiss against her collarbone, kiss lingering there for a moment, he smiled as he felt relaxation stir in Alice's emotions, a little sigh leaving past her lips as she leaned against him.
Good, this was the perfect moment, he pulled one of his arms back from the hug, reaching inside his pocket for it.
Once he had hold of it he pulled it out, bringing his arm back around Alice's shoulder, his fingers spread infront of her, presenting it to her.
A necklace.
Her flaring surprise made a triumphant grin break out, because good, that's what he had wanted, to feel her bubbling surprise and the little butterflies that came with her awe and adoration.
Because as stated before, surprising this woman was a most difficult feat, he wanted to see how well he could do hiding things from her, avoiding her gift, how long could he go without her finding out what he was doing.
That knowledge would be immensely useful for when he proposed to her.
He didn't want her to see it coming, thus, practicing was the best idea for it.
He wanted to see and feel her true reaction and emotions when he did it, wanted her to be able to at least hold that moment as something she never saw coming, because he's spent enough time around her to notice that she didn't like to know things sometimes.
Against popular belief Alice did enjoy surprises, she said it felt like a rush to not see those harmless things coming.
To not know what gift she would be given, or what tricks he would pull.
It made him feel like she wouldn't like much not being able to live the moment in the moment when he did propose to her, because yes, he was gonna propose to her, one day, he had seen her when she told him about the Cullen's latest wedding.
Bella and Edward's.
He had felt her longing and hopes as she spoke and showed him the pictures, her gaze as she looked at him had held something so intense about it…
It had been that exact moment, as she looked at him, that je had made his choice to marry her one day, what had made him learn that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be against marrying him.
That he had a chance at not being rejected.
He wanted to make all her wishes come true, for her happiness to be eternal, he wanted to be with her forever, he wanted her to be his forever.
But not now, nor anytime soon, he didn't felt ready for that just yet, and regardless of it all he felt like neither was Alice, he just wanted to spend more time getting to know her better, to see how well they actually might fit together, her flaws, what she hated, what made her mad.
Those were sides he still hadn't seen from her, he wanted to see them all, the good and the bad, not that it would change how he felt about her, but it would be nice to know more about the woman he would make his wife.
To feel like he knew absolutely everything about the woman who he would marry for eternity.
And he also wanted her to know more about him, to make sure she knew it all about him, just in case she held doubts or didn't like something.
-Oh Jazz, this is beautiful.- Alice's sudden soft voice caught his attention, awe tickled at his skin, she reached out for the golden necklace, carefully taking it in her hand and admiring it.
-Do you like it?- He questions softly.
Upon joining the Cullens Jasper had learnt that Carlisle gave the others an allowance, an allowance that Jasper found beyond preposterous, because in what universe were 500 dollars an allowance? That was half of a thousand, that amount would have made millionaires in the past.
Still, Jasper didn't want to use that money, he didn't felt comfortable doing so, in Volterra, money hadn't been something he had had nor even needed, all he needed the Volturi had provided it, which were generally clothes, nothing else, nothing more.
But here… Alice got him lots of clothes with her credit card regardless of his protests against it.
And anything else he might want, well, he didn't buy anything, he didn't want to use the money of people he didn't even know nor Alice's money, he didn't even know what he would want to buy if he were given money, so, when he decided to get Alice a gift, a much more… expensive gift than his regular gifts, which were usually seashells, sea glass and the occasional ancient jewelry.
Which alright, those last were expensive, but those were old and not something that he considered meaningful, thus, he sneaked out to other states and countries to help at constructions, near the coast, farms and also at fields, things he knew he could do well, he had the strength, resistance and knowledge to work at those places.
At the fields had been quite tricky, having to wear lots of clothes to hide his skin from the sun, but he had managed, and he had earned enough in two weeks to get Alice what had caught his eye.
Because again, he had wanted to give her a gift, as expensive as the kind of things she liked to wear, he had still kept it simple, Alice might love expensive things, but he's noticed that at the end, all things looked quite simple in appearance.
Thus, he had gotten her a simple chain made out of gold with a little heart dangling from it, also made out of gold.
He had seen it at the store when Alice had taken him with her to buy him clothes, his first trip to one of those huge malls, he had been quite overwhelmed, but he had wanted to do it, had wanted to test his limits, dealing with crowded places, humans all over, the noise, the smells, the emotions.
He needed to be stronger.
He refused to let his instincts or gift keep on dictating how he lived his life, what he could or could not do.
Point was, he had seen the necklace, and it had made him think of Alice, simple, yet valuable, bright and beautiful.
Like her.
And that little golden heart… she filled his heart with light, and he wanted to give her a little piece of it.
-I love it.- Alice said, because this was a gift from Jasper, and she loved all his gifts, this one though, she could tell this one didn't come from the beach nor a shipwreck, and she wondered where had he gotten it from.- But how did you get it?
-I've got lots of skills, got several jobs, figured it wouldn't do harm to take advantage of my vampirism for once.- Jasper conceded, taking the necklace from Alice so he could put it on her, pressing a soft kiss to her nape as he clipped the chain shut.
-Was that why you smelt like coffee last week?- Alice wondered, turning around to face him, her arms wrapping around his waist, he's had several odd scents on him these past weeks; coffee, wood, ocean, dirt, apples, and also some unpleasant ones, like fish, and animal waste.
The idea that it had been because he's been working to gain money to buy her something… she had no idea how to feel, just that her chest felt full with fuzzy feelings, because no one's ever done something like that for her.
The noises, smells and emotions he might have exposed himself to, just to buy her something… it made her pull him down into a crushing hug, because it's not until now that she's realizing just how much he feels for her.
And she wants to hold him and never let him go, because she never thought possible that she would ever get to have someone like him, someone who would love her unconditionally, someone who would go so far for her.
It's not until now that she realizes what she has in him.
And she loves him, God, she loves this man so much it feels like she might die from all these emotions. And she would die happy.
She woke up alone in this world, not knowing a thing, not even her own name, it were her visions of Jasper what had kept her alive, what had given her a purpose, she picked up his fighting skills to keep herself alive, mimicking some of his manipulative skills, for a long time she had craved to meet him, and when she met the Cullens she had craved to meet him even more.
Because seeing them together… it had made her wish she would have someone who would look at her as if she were their whole world, who would do anything for her, she had craved for that loyalty, for that love, that devotion…
And she had wished for it to be Jasper, hoped against hope that he would like her, that she would be enough for him, because he was so strong, all the people who respected and/or feared him…
He had felt so out of reach…
Even when she met him she still at times felt like she wasn't enough, like he might be better off with someone else, she knew he loved her, but she thought that he might be able to get someone better, someone who could help him much better than she did.
Now she realized that it didn't matter, none of it did, because much like she had told him that she was the one who decided whether he was good enough for her or not, he was also the one who got to decide whether she was good enough or not for him.
And apparently, she was.
It made her grin like an idiot, she buried her face against his neck, taking in a deep breath and smiling even more, he smelt like pines and wet dirt, and she mildly wondered what kind of jobs had he made.
Jasper for his side grinned, just letting Alice hug him as much as she desired, he liked her hugs, she might be small, but having her arms around him never failed to make him feel at home, like nothing could ever go wrong as long as she held him.
They stayed like that for a while, this before Alice pulled away, just enough to look at him, her arms still around his waist.
Jasper reached out to touch her face, caressing her smooth skin with the back of his hand. Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him, her small smile filling him with life.
And he couldn't help but lean down, their foreheads pressing together.
-Thank you.- He whispers at last, Alice gives him a curious look.
-What for?
-For keepin' me even though 'm hard to handle and have a questionable past.- He told, Alice smiled, her hand coming up to rest on his cheek.
-No matter what kind of creature you are, who you hurt or what you did, ever since that day when I first saw you, I have felt from my heart that we should be together, live together… I wanted you to live freely from the bottom of my heart. I keep you, and I'll always do so because I love you and I know you are good.
Alice said as a statement of fact, she wasn't gonna go and say that he wasn't hard to handle, because that wasn't true, but she didn't mind, she wanted to be there for him, to help him get better, that's what people did for those they loved.
Stay and support them even when things were dire, and she loved him dearly, she would always be there for him, through bad and good.
Jasper for his side couldn't help but smile at the honesty in Alice's words, the genuine love, affection, the care in her eyes…
It was overwhelming.
-…I love you too.
The words are out before he can stop them, and he doesn't regret them one bit, because it's true, he loves her, he loves her more than he ever thought possible, and he was much glad he ever let his curious side win.
He was glad he took that deer down, that he came back for that carnivore. That he got to meet this beautiful woman.
All this time he had thought that it was better to die than to live a lonely life, but now… now he wanted to live for her, she was his warm, golden patch of sun, she made it all feel right.
Meanwhile, Alice felt like had she been human, her heart would have stopped beating, she knew it shouldn't be such a big deal to hear those words when he's made her feel what he feels for her.
But something about hearing it out loud…
Seeing that look on his face, so soft, so genuine, so warm.
She wanted to kiss him.
And kiss him she did.
She felt like her chest would explode from happiness, being with him, being able to touch him, kiss him, hear him, smell him, it would always feel like a dream, a most beautiful dream she hoped to never wake up from.
He was all she could ever want, he was her own personal little star, mysterious yet beautifully bright, and warm, so warm, she wanted to soak in his warmth forever.
And as their kiss broke she couldn't help but grin as she looked up at him, the wind blew on the trees, making more sunlight leak through it, hitting his face just right, his skin might not sparkle like hers or other vampires because of the amount of scars.
But to Alice? To Alice he was a mesmerizing sight, what he called a broken mirror or a shattered mosaic she called it little stars, little constellations kissing his face in half-moon shaped patterns, making it seem as if she were staring at the universe.
Which in a sense she was, as cheesy as it might sound, she was staring at her universe.
She traced the little constellations, smiling when he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.
At times she couldn't help but feel her chest tighten whenever she realized how far had their relationship come, from stiffening and giving her wary looks to trusting her enough to close his eyes and seek her touch.
She could have never expected their relationship would come this far, she hadn't been prepared to just keep him as a friend, even if it hurt, it would have been better to have him as her friend than as nothing at all.
Now… now she could do whatever she wanted, hold his hand, cuddle with him, kiss him, touch him, ride on his back, rest her head on his lap, she could even lay on his back and he wouldn't so much as twitch.
He did give her a strange look the first time she did it, but she had found it hilarious, she had been bored and he had been laying on his stomach, one thing led to another and she had found herself climbing on his back, it had been quite the comfortable spot, and she had gotten to make little braids on his hair.
Point was, she could be confident when she said that right now, he had finally relaxed around her, completely.
-You know? You don't really have to work to buy me things. If you really don't want to use their money but still wanna give me a gift I'll always be happy by just about anything you give me, anything you give me is beautiful, I like the seashells and the sea glass.- Alice felt the need to say as she looked down at the necklace, fiddling with the little heart.
-I feel better makin' my own money.- Jasper told as a statement of fact, his father had taught him from a young age that a proper gentleman took care of his lady, that included being able to gain money to give her anything she desired.
Plus, winning money so he wouldn't need to rely on anyone else was a must, as a kid his father had paid him and his siblings for the labor they did at the farm and fields, money they could use to buy anything they wanted.
Independence and responsibility, that had been his father reasoning behind said method.
Still.
He needed money, even if he wouldn't use it much he felt better knowing he had his own income, and working felt nice, it helped him clear his mind, at the fields and farms he felt close to home, at the coast he felt relaxed and at constructions he felt like he was somewhat making people's job easier by taking on the heavy things.
-Alright then, but do please be careful, yes?- Alice requested, looking up at him and touching his arm lightly.
If he wanted to work then so be it, Carlisle didn't had a rule against it and it wasn't like he worked at Forks nor did people know him at Forks, he hadn't gone to school nor did he go out into town much, and when he did he wore a mask, so no, people had no idea who he was.
As long as he was happy she could care less about what he did, she was curious though…
-What kind of works do you do?
-I help in the coast, pullin' fishnets up, that's in Australia, sometimes in Iceland. I help at constructions doing whatever, that's in New York and in México, I learnt how to make concrete, did you know the slightest change in stirrin' it could ruin the whole thing? I also help in farms, in Spain, and Arizona. I work in fields, in Turkey collectin' olives and coffee in Colombia. And Cacao in Cuba.
-That's… a lot.- Alice said, frowning, how did he even manage all that when he spent much more time here?
-I don't do it all time, some are when the time is right, others are a one time thing, others have rotative workers… plus, 'm charmin' enough to make people rather compliant regardin' the when I do things and for how long, and considerin' how efficient I am it's not much hard to make 'em bend to me.
It was his talent to manipulate people what had made him go up the ranks at top speed as a soldier, and now with his gift as a an empath… it was a piece of cake to manipulate humans, his natural looks and charms were enough to manipulate them.
All humans were the same, reacting with such ease to the alluring presence of vampires, letting themselves be drawn to them, and since he eliminated their natural fear and wariness over their instincts reading him as a predator… he could make them do whatever he wanted without trouble.
-Don't get carried away with that though, some humans do tend to notice when they are being manipulated, or if others are. Sometimes you just run out of luck, either way, be careful, alright? I don't want you to be hurt.- Alice said, reaching out to touch his face, caressing his cheek affectionately.
Some humans could be quite cunning, and while no human could ever decipher if he was a vampire considering how different vampires were from the general vision humans had regarding vampires… some might realize he wasn't human, which would be enough for them to attack him.
And there were human who did knew about vampires or were able to figure it out, like Bella had figured it out, or how the couple in Brasil knew about them.
Point was, she didn't want him to be potentially hurt, or for him to accidentally attract the Volturi's attention, he's finally gotten free of them, she didn't want him being under their radar again.
-Don't worry, 'm always careful, and I don't stay for longer than two days on the same job, that way people don't get to make many questions.- Jasper assured, because it was true, the less time he spent in a place the less he would need to interact with others.
Humans who might sense something off.
Humans who's scent sometimes made him feel too peckish for comfort.
He found Alice's concern heartwarming though, it was a nice feeling, having someone care about whether he was safe or not.
Having her touching his face with such gentleness, her concern… it made it all feel so real.
Like something that would never come to an end.
It was nice.
To finally have somewhere to belong.
Something to live for.
END NOTES: "No matter what kind of creature you are or who you hurt, ever since that day when I took you out from that cave, I have felt from my heart that we should live together… I wanted you to live freely from the bottom of my heart." - A quote from Akatsuki No Yona. I felt like giving it the right twist could make it a nice Jalice quote.