The sight in front of him was different than Jumin had expected. Only a few hours ago he had his personal shopper come to his penthouse to decide with her which clothes would be best for Zen to wear. She had shown him several outfits based on Zen's size - that Jumin himself had visually estimated - , height, skin, hair color and hairstyle. Usually, activities like these do not interest the heir much. In fact, his personal shopper and tailor knew his preferences so well by now that he luckily did not have to tell them what to get anymore. Yet, looking for something for Zen strangely excited the CEO in line. Every outfit he had been shown was pictured on the singer... with his hair down... with his hair up... with his signature ponytail... with his eyes shining like garnets in the sun... and with his smile. Jumin could see Zen so very clearly in front of his inner eye. And without even realizing it, all these thoughts made him smile which didn't get unnoticed by his personal shopper who started to wonder when she had seen her boss that relaxed and mellow the last time.
It had been quite difficult to pick an outfit because anything his employee had shown Jumin would have looked exceptional on Zen. Thus, Jumin had put a lot of effort into his final choice. Seeing his friend now only wearing half of the selected outfit rubbed the heir slightly the wrong way. However, this slight negative feeling was soon swept away by the freshly showered presence of the idol looking back at him. His impressive garnet eyes, his bright skin and his silver hair all shiny and loose that looked so perfect falling onto the fabric of the shirt Jumin himself had picked for him. The view made the heir happy. And so did the familiar smell of his own shampoo and bodywash on Zen's body and hair, that reached the heir's senses when Zen sat down opposite of him after flicking his hair with a huff.
"Yeah, was alright! You?", the singer answered with this bickering sound in his voice that Jumin is already so used to. Yet, this time the sound worried the heir to some extent, given what had happened during the night. All the things that had happened and all the painful things that had been said, weighed on the raven-haired man. Especially his fight with Zen, that he still could remember far too well. Not only had his perfect and professional self cracked in front of strangers at the party... no... it had completely shattered into pieces in front of Zen. He had lost it in front of one of those very few people he had sworn to protect from any harm there was in this world. He had lost it and it made him feel unprofessional, ashamed, guilty and above all weak. A feeling so unfamiliar to him, that he didn't know how to properly cope with it and just pushed it to the side trying to ignore it by putting his focus on something else.
"I slept alright as well. Thank you for asking. Would you like some coffee? Or tea? Lemon infused water? Juice?" "Coffee is alright. Black.", Zen answered to Jumin's far too many one-word questions. Jumin reached for the other's cup and poured him some coffee. "I prefer my coffee black as well. I especially don't understand why people would want to add sugar to it. It ruins the taste. Besides, I don't like overly sweet things." Jumin wasn't known for talking excessively, especially not compared to wordy Zen who could talk and talk and talk. Yet, for now word after word left Jumin's mouth to distract from his uncomfortable feelings and to build a protective shield. "Please help yourself to anything on the table. I was not entirely sure what your preferred breakfast items are. Therefore, I had this selection pepared for us.
The next moment Jumin observed his friend taking a sip of his coffee before huffily putting food on his plate while bickering about it at the same time. "Who the heck is supposed to eat all of this? So OVER THE TOP! Typical! Are you trying to make me fat? Geez...!" The sight had Jumin smirk a bit. Sometimes Zen reminded him of a stubborn child that didn't want to admit that it liked something and thus just kept complaining about it. It was one of Zen's most annoying characteristics that somehow was also very endearing. "Well, I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't miss anything on this table." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha! Still not gonna eat everything, trust-fund-kid.", the singer replied before a piece of bacon vanished in his mouth. "You not eating?", he then continued saying still chewing a bit on his bacon which made Jumin's eyebrow raise a bit in irritation. "Where are his manners?", he thought as he put some food onto his own plate as well.
Then without breaking eye-contact with his companion, Jumin took a bite of his scrambled eggs and demonstratively chewed them carefully before swallowing with his mouth closed. Maybe this would be enough of a reminder that table manners exist in this world? Or would he need to comment on Zen's behavior which would definitely incite a new round of bickering between them? Zen's red eyes flashed at the heir with an expression that Jumin already knew as Zen's "Jerk" stare for him, but only a few seconds later the idol averted his grey eyes by looking down onto his plate with yet another one of his huffs. The sight of Zen's almost pouty looking face made Jumin want to chuckle, but he swallowed this urge with his next bite of the delicious food.
It felt strange to him, but much unlike every other time when the two of them were together, Jumin did not want to bait Zen in this very moment. He did not want to provoke one of their signature cat and mouse fights. Nor did he want to correct the singer in his silver-spoon-know-it-all-manner. He just wanted to… be… with Zen and spend some one-on-one time with him even if he could not really explain why.
One more bite while his grey eyes followed Zen's every move. Jumin just could not stop gazing at the idol and soon, without him even noticing, his entire consciousness was solely focusing on his silver haired companion. Forgotten was the food, forgotten the soothing smell of the coffee, forgotten the sorrow from the night before. Forgotten the concept of time. There was only Zen, who tugged a loose strand of his silky hair behind his ear. Zen's garnet eyes that shone with pleasant surprise at the taste of each new dish he tried. Zen's rosé lips that gently touched his favorite white Rosenthal cups… And the thumping sound of his own risen pulse which he could hear in his ear like a distant drum.
Only when garnets locked with greys again and Zen addressed the heir, was Jumin pulled back into the here and now: "Wanna complain about my manners or what's with the staring?" Jumin's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly in confusion, making him almost look like a kitten that was just woken up from a deep slumber.
"Uhm… I…", Jumin started making Zen raise one of his eyebrows in confusion. "Ok… that is not like him. Did he really just go "uhm" and then turned speechless?" Zen wondered. He kept eye contact with the heir, that was at least until Jumin averted his gaze and took a sip of his lemon infused water.
"Well… after yesterday… no wonder he is still off. But at least he is not the physical and emotional wreck he was yesterday. I wonder if V called back. Should I ask him about it? No… can't risk triggering him. At least he is calm now and hydrating well… but he could use more sleep. How much does he even remember?" Zen studied Jumin's now almost shy looking face. It was livelier than the night before and yet, especially in this very moment with Jumin's eyes only half lidded and his gaze low, the shadows underneath his eyes seemed ever so prominent. And while the idol examined his companion's face, he did not even realize that his own features mellowed both in worry and relief. "Should I ask, if he is ok…?", he asked himself in his mind when suddenly Jumin's gaze caught his own again.
"So, should I assume that the pants which I carefully selected for you are not to your liking? I thought them fitting both to your appearance and taste." The comment was accompanied with one of Jumin's signature bait-side-grins which had the immediate power to enrage Zen.
"Why do I even fucking worry about him!?" Zen screamed inside his head before stuffing a piece of pancake into his mouth with a huff. "Believe it or not but my non-high-end pants are still very much fine and you might not know this Mr. Silver-Spoon, but we "normal" people wear the same clothes more than once. Even two or three days in a row!" Zen hissed and then tried calming down by chugging at his coffee which made Jumin snicker slightly.
"Many items in my wardrobe have been in my possession for a couple of years already. Wearing a piece of clothing only once for example for special outings in public is indeed a common standard. Yet, when it comes to daily life attire, re-wearing and re-using is the only acceptable option to maintain sustainability. This is why I go for custom tailored items made out of long-lasting and high-quality material. Research has shown that investing in high quality items is even more sustainable that deciding on a cheaper low-quality option. Fast fashion is a growing problem, didn't you know that?"
"Alright," Zen thought. "He apparently is back to normal if he talks in this entitled manner again." Good old Jumin, so to speak. The one that makes his blood boil with his rich-man attitude…
"Didn't you know about this?" Zen mimics Jumin with a high-pitched voice while buttering a small roll on his plate. "Of course, I know that! Don't always assume I am stupid. STILL! I don't need new pants." Zen took a bite of the roll which tasted like soft and silky heaven. A taste that almost made him forget his anger even.
"I understand. You do not need a new pair of pants. However, these pants are a gift. And not accepting a well thought through gift, no matter if you need it or not, is impolite. And since you so strongly decline this gift even… must I add "is impolite" next to "has no manners" in my character file on you? Or is there another reason?"
Jumin paused for a bit. The slight side smirk was back on his face as if he already knew that Zen would take the bait. "Or did it maybe just not look good on you, Zen?"
"This was the moment when Zen could not take it anymore. With a huff he quickly rose from his seat and smashed his hands on the table next to his plate making the cutlery cling like a disharmonic instrument. "DID IT NOT LOOK GOOD ON ME? Is that a joke? I look good in fricking everything. Just you wait, jerk!" With his face red from anger Zen stormed off and returned to Jumin's room.
"Did it not look good? Did it not look good?! AAAARGHH… the heck. As if…. I can even make a garbage bag look like high fashion. Jumin's such a jerk…" And while Zen started changing, he kept cussing about the raven-haired man. "He's probably still having this stupid smirk on his face! Never takes me seriously. Stupid CEO in line. Thinks I'm stupid. No manners… pah… you better stop being so arrogant before telling me about manners and being polite! Jerk…"
When he was done changing Zen checked out himself in the full body mirror. The pants fit like a second skin. They were a perfect match to the top. He looked stunning. More than that even. Like he was ready to walk the cat walk at the fashion week in London or Milan. It almost annoyed Zen how perfect Jumin's outfit was. "Fricking jerk…" he cussed under his breath and began fixing his hair. Twirling the new hair tie between his fingers had him recall the events of the night before. Him flipping is hair tie to distract the furball. Jumin unconscious on the ground. Tears still shiny on his pale cheeks. His sleeping face lit by blue light that would have looked ever so soft if it wouldn't have been disturbed by nightmares. "Jumin…", Zen whispered softly to himself before he literally shook off the sentimental feelings with a shimmy and finished his hair to return back to the heir.
Jumin had already started wondering why Zen took so long took so long to put on a pair of pants. It had made him feel uncomfortable even, since being alone also meant that the thoughts and worries inside his mind get louder. And they did, painfully so, making Jumin feel sorry for having baited Zen yet again, especially after everything that happened between them the night before. Should he apologize? Should he… say something about the night or just… wait till silence kills the beast? Like he had planned to… ever so afraid of this very beast to resurface again. The beast he had failed to control… However, all of these dragging thoughts suddenly shattered, when Zen reappeared in front of him looking like a piece of fine art created by the greatest painters known to mankind. Even with his face looking all annoyed and his arms crossed over his chest: Stunning would be an understatement.
"Happy now?" Zen huffed while opening his arms and twirling slowly to present the outfit to the heir. Jumin was speechless again and didn't even notice how his mouth hadn't closed ever since his eyes had caught sight of the idol. Zen flicked his hair and sat down opposite of Jumin again with a another huff. Jumin cleared his throat. "Yes, you were right. You look stunning in everything.", he said quietly. How uncommon for Jumin self-confidence Han…
"Of course, I do! It is telling that you question that for even a single second. Anywho… you may find it impolite all you want, but I will return these."
The comment hurt the heir more than he would admit: "You don't have to return them."
"But I will. I don't like owing others. Especially not you." Especially not me?
"But it is a gift." Why can't he accept it? Why does this make him so angry?
In this moment Zen's voice got louder which took Jumin off-guard: "BUT GIFTS, FANCY THINGS AND MONEY DON'T SOLVE EVERYTHING, JUMIN! YOU CANNOT BUY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!"
And while Zen was catching his breath something made "click" in Jumin's mind. He suddenly understood what Zen was hinting at with his tantrum.
"I would never even think of trying to… buy you… you are…", Jumin started saying so broken, sad and quietly, that one had to assume that this was not Jumin anymore. He was anything but the put-together business man he usually portrayed.
After a small pause he got up and continued every so quietly without even looking at Zen:"I don't expect you to forgive me for my unacceptable behavior from last night. I don't expect you to forget what I said to you… I… I just wanted… to express my gratitude. That is all. Please excuse me now… you may leave whenever you wish to. A driver will take you home."
And with these words he set off to go and soon after vanished behind one of the many doors, leaving a now speechless Zen alone at the breakfast table. With his eyes wide from shock and worry, the idol now stared into the void of this empty and far too big of a room. He was stupefied and also so very confused. What did just happen? Should he follow Jumin and check on him? And… shouldn't this bug him? Annoy him? No… it didn't. It just hurt and left Zen helpless. "Jumin…", it left his lips, almost like a whisper just before he got up from his seat as well. He walked to the door that Jumin had vanished behind raised his hand ready to knock but just one centimeter short of touching the glazed wood, he stopped. His hand lowered slowly and so did his head right before he turned and left the penthouse without even asking for the ride that had been offered to him.
Jumin's face was buried in his hands with his elbows resting on his study table. He could not remember when he last wished that the earth may open its hellish ground to swallow him whole right there and then. He had hurt Zen several times over the past 24 hours… Jihyun was still missing in action and he had made a fool of himself in front of the party guests. He wanted to vanish even if it was just for the day. But then he felt something soft graze his hand and the purring sound of his loyal feline suddenly soothed him.
He raised his head and started petting Elizabeth III's head with a slight smile when he suddenly noticed that she was carrying something in her mouth. "What is that, Princess? Did you bring me a gift?" With a meow she let the item fall and Jumin picked it up to examine it. It was a hair tie. Zen's to be precise. He squeezed it gently and continued rubbing Elizabeth's silky head. "Where did you find that, hmm? Or did you hide it from Zen?" Elizabeth meowed again. "I see… so it really is a gift, hmm? Well… in that case thank you, Elizabeth. I will cherish it…" Jumin sighed and gently rested his forehead on Elizabeth's with his eyes closed and his inner darkness brightening slowly but steadily.