Mass Effect Andromeda Abridged
Chapter Two: Recon Mission
Scott was only partially aware of the damage being contained throughout the ship; repair crews rushing to get the gravity plating working again so that the ship didn't feel like it was pitched to the left, and then something exploded down one of the corridors, causing screams as a few crewmembers were sent flying just before the young man entered the bridge. Cora finally let go of his and Kosta's ears, allowing them to stand upright as the three of them approached the viewscreen, where Captain Dunn, the commander of the Hyperion, was arguing with Alec Ryder, Scott's father as well as the human Pathfinder. Behind them on the viewscreen was something that looked like a lot of static, or maybe tendrils of yellowish-brown screen distortions spreading across the whole of space.
"Okay, he's finally here." The Captain said as she and Alec walked over to the group. "What the hell are you trying to do to my ship, Scott?"
"What?" The young man asked, confused while still rubbing his sore ear. "What are you talking about? I didn't do anything."
"Bullshit, what did you touch?" His father demanded, grabbing him by the shirt. "We had six hundred years of smooth sailing, and then everything just happens to go down the toilet the moment we let you out of your pod? Christ, Scott, just… just stand there and try not to fuck anything up for ten seconds, all right?"
Now not really sure how he was supposed to react, the young man did as he was told and just stood there while Alec and the Captain returned their attention to the viewscreen, and more importantly, the planet that was partly enveloped inside of… whatever those energy distortion tendrils were. The important part was that the planet was apparently Habitat 7, also known as the new human home world, if they were lucky, but so far luck didn't exactly seem to be with them. The argument was about whether or not to send the Pathfinder team down to the planet for initial surveys. So far the Hyperion hadn't been able to contact any of the other Arks, or the Nexus, which was the advanced team sent to this galaxy to establish a permanent base, so Alec's argument was that for now this planet was all they had, especially if they couldn't contact the others before the Hyperion ran out of fuel.
"I know you're right, Alec, but none of this makes any sense." Captain Dunn said. "The images we took of this planet from the Milky Way didn't show anything like this, so how could it have happened?"
"But Captain, weren't those images taken six hundred years ago?" Scott interrupted. "And because of how fast light travels, wouldn't any images of Andromeda taken from the Milky Way already be like, thousands of years out of…
"Shut the hell up!" The Pathfinder yelled, cutting off his son's words with a smack to the back of the head. "I swear to God, Scott, if I hadn't promised your mother, on her death bed, that I wouldn't kill you, I… well… I would just kill you… right now. Cora, take these two idiots, and the rest of the Pathfinder team to the shuttle bay."
Before anything else could be said, the young woman grabbed him and Kosta by the ears again, causing them both to cry out in pain as they were marched out of the bridge and all the way down to the locker room where the rest of the team was already getting their equipment. A minute or two later, SAM announced that the Pathfinder was now instructing the team to carry sidearms, an order that instantly made the young man uncomfortable. He knew how to use such weapons, having been trained by Alliance Security back in the Milky Way, and on occasion even had the need to use it, but one of Scott's hopes was that in a new galaxy there wouldn't be any need for them.
"Why the hell wouldn't we carry weapons, Scott?" Cora asked, checking her own side arm before getting her helmet. "Sure, there might not be Batarian raiders in the Helius Cluster, but don't you think a planet that supports life might have, oh I don't know, meat-eating predators? Carnivorous plants? Try thinking once in a while, huh? And make sure to kiss the Good Luck Rock before we head out."
The young man was about to ask what the Good Luck Rock was, but then the rest of the Pathfinder team encouraged him to do so, saying things like it had once saved his father's life from falling when he was rock climbing, and that kissing it always meant a successful mission, to which Kosta just shrugged since he had apparently also never heard of the strange, brain shaped blue and gray rock that was sitting over in the corner. The rest of the team kept encouraging them, going so far as to push the two of them over to the weird colored rock, everyone else pointing to the rock and chanting kiss the rock… kiss the rock, over and over again until they did. Scott and Kosta bent down and touched their lips to the side of the rock, and then the rest of the team erupted into laughter.
"What?" The young man asked, standing back up. "What happened? Why is everyone laughing?"
"Because that's not a rock, you dunder-fucks." Cora replied, holding her sides from laughing so hard. "It's a Boeing-Bomb! They're flushed out of spaceship toilets, and freeze together in space before getting super-heated when they land on a planet… and you two shit-lips just kissed it!"
Scott and Kosta tried to laugh it off, but everyone was laughing and pointing, taking pics with their omni-tools and making sure to tell Alec, who was also heard laughing as everyone started making their way to the shuttle bay. The Pathfinder was already there, overseeing as members of the crew loaded up two shuttles with supplies; communications equipment, food, everything needed for a successful recon mission. Alec then gathered up the team while the pilots were doing their final pre-flight checks, making sure that everyone was present, and then taking a deep breath before beginning to speak.
"This is it, people, the start of our adventure in Andromeda." The Pathfinder began. "I didn't just choose all of you for my team because you were dumb enough to sign on for this half-baked snipe hunt… I chose you because no one cares whether or not you live or die. You are all expendable, like those red shirt guys on Star Trek, especially you, Mr. Kosta. In fact, your father came to me and said 'Alec, I can't take it anymore; I'll get on my knees and suck your fucking dick if you free me from my useless, disappointment of a son forever so I can actually enjoy what's left of my life'… and here you are in another galaxy… think about that, Kosta… think about it… a lot."
A look of confused horror slowly began to spread across Kosta's face while the Pathfinder resumed his inspirational speech, explaining that if any of the meat-shields on his team somehow managed to survive, instead of being sodomized and eviscerated by the fish-people or whatever nightmares were waiting for them down on the planet, they would be known as heroes. There would be parades in their honor, and beautiful Asari would fight for a piece of that ass, whether said heroes were male or female, because the Asari were hot like that, and there was a whole Ark full of them out there somewhere.
"Even a complete weed like my son might get a pity handjob out of it." Alec continued. "And that's bound to go better than when he does it himself, right? I tell you, the very first time Scott masturbated, he didn't really understand what he was doing, and he got all scared about it in the middle of the night and started yelling and crying, oh it was the funniest thing I've ever seen."
"Dad!" Scott yelled, trying not to turn red as everyone laughed. "I mean, don't we have to get on with the mission, like… right now?"
The Pathfinder nodded, wiping a tear of laughter from his cheek before motioning for the team to divide up into the two shuttles, with the young man and Kosta getting onboard the second one so that maybe Alec wouldn't be able to tell any more embarrassing stories for a while. Thankfully, once the two small ships took off, everyone's attention became focused on the damage the Hyperion's hull had taken from being dragged across those discolored tendrils, which SAM was able to identify as an unstable mass of dark energy, but not much else. It was much easier, however, for small ships like shuttles to fly around those tendrils and get back into open space so that there was a clear path to the planet.
"Hyperion, this is the Pathfinder." His father's voice was heard as they neared the planet. "We are clear of the anomaly, and will be entering Habitat 7's atmosphere in about a minute."
Their Ark acknowledged the transmission, and for a few moments outside there was fire caused by the shuttles entering the planet's atmosphere, and then things got weird. What was supposed to be a life supporting Golden World was looking pretty rocky and barren from this altitude, but that wasn't the strange part… the strange part was some very large rock formations, basically mountains by themselves, but slowly rotating around with… with nothing underneath them. They were just kind of… there while the sky was split by dozens of lightning bolts, some of which were so close that they illuminated the inside of the shuttle.
"Alec, are you seeing this?" Cora asked over the comms. "The mountains, they're… floating."
"Yeah, I see it, Cora." The Pathfinder's voice replied. "It might have something to do with all the ionization and static energy in the air, the readings are off the charts. Just make sure your pilot avoids those lightning strikes, they are a lot bigger than…
Suddenly there was a deafening crash of thunder, but no delay between that and the powerful light that filled the inside of the shuttle… as the small craft was literally ripped open like a tin can. One second everything had been fine, and the next thing he knew, Scott was hanging onto the shuttle's wing for dear life, having been pulled out the hull breech as gravity reasserted itself in reaction to the pilot trying to regain control. Kosta was reaching for him, but there was too much noise from the wind to hear what he was saying, and the young man had fallen too far away from the cabin to be recovered by them anyway. Another flash of lightning struck the small craft, ripping the shittle in half and setting it on fire while Scott was thrown away from it… and now he was falling… falling toward the planet from a thousand meters up in the air.