Warning: Heads up! This chapter includes purging. You've been warned.

It's crazy (that someone could change me)

It was all a blur for Helga. She woke up, got dressed, and made sure she had all of her work completed.

She was still upset with Olga for taking the photo and Miriam for being a clown and letting Olga take the picture. She sighed and walked over to Phoebe's house to start their walk.

Speaking of Phoebe, she was still annoyed at the girl for getting her detention in the first place. She was also mildly irritated that Phoebe almost let what happened in the bathroom slip to Arnold. The last thing she wanted was to give Phoebe or Arnold any more ammunition to be worried about her.

It was bad enough she had to constantly appease Arnold with smiles and reassurance that everything was okay (even when it wasn't). She just wanted everyone to back off.

"Good morning Helga."

"Hey, Phoebe. Are you ready to go?" She clutched her jacket closer to her, suddenly feeling cold.

"Certainly, let me get my bag and we can start our walk."

"Sure."

Phoebe grabbed her backpack and walked with Helga down her porch steps.

"So how was your night Helga?"

"Miriam and Olga decided that what the world needed was a Pataki's Girls' Night. Criminy, you should have seen them dancing, and then because the universe hates me, Olga did my hair and sent a photo to Arnold. An actual photo! While I was asleep! Criminy no privacy in that house. I can't wait for her to leave."

Phoebe frowned sadly that her friend was so upset, "I'm sorry Helga that sounds terrible. I thought for sure since you three were spending time together it would be a positive experience. What did Arnold say about the photo?"

Helga blushed, "Uh. he said I looked beautiful."

"That's very sweet of him."

"Yeah, I was stuck watching this cruddy movie called The Princess Bride. " Helga changed the subject, launching into her review of the movie despite the fact she fell asleep before she even got to the second scene of the movie.

"That sounds terrible."

"Oh, believe me, it was."

The girls ran into the boys in an almost comical fashion. Helga and Arnold fell on their butts clutching their heads.

"Arnold!" Helga said surprised to have run into him.

"Sorry, Helga." Arnold got up and held his hand out. Helga took the hand, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, football head. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." He smiled at the blonde girl, squeezing her hand. She smiled at the boy.

"Well now that everyone's okay. Can we start walking?" Gerald asked, already taking Phoebe's hand in his.

Helga rolled her eyes and picked up her bag from the ground. "Let's go and get this day over with."

Helga closed her locker and made her way to fourth period. She groaned as she felt her stomach start to burn again: an all too familiar feeling. She cringed at the thought of eating the pizza from last night, seemingly getting that hunger pang to go away. The burning died down a little but was still present.

She clutched her stomach casually, not wanting to draw attention to her stomach. She had enough of everyone's attention on her for the next five decades. Making her way to her class, she groaned as the pain intensified. She found her seat and carefully slid in, tears pricking her eyes.

"Hello, Helga!"

Helga nodded and looked down, not trusting herself to speak.

"Is something wrong?"

She groaned. "No. I'm fine. what do you want?"

Lila blinked. It nonpulsed let it roll off her back, "I was just coming up to see if you wanted to be partners on the homework?" She held up her sheet.

Helga felt her stomach drop and she groaned. "Are you sure that nothing is ever the matter?"

"Yes! Criminy." Helga bit out.

Helga threw the rest of her books in her locker as she pulled out her gym clothes.

"Hey."

She looked to her left. "Hey, football head."

"How's your stomach?"

"It's fine." She lied, feeling her stomach pulse again.

"Good. So does that mean you'll eat lunch with me today?"

Helga shared a rare smile (at least these days), "Yes, Arnold. Anything else?"

"Your hair looked really pretty yesterday."

Helga rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah, that. Listen thank you for not giving me a hard time about it. I didn't know Olga was going to send that photo out. Much less, take a photo of me. Criminy."

"I'm sorry it wasn't that fun for you, Helga. I know you don't get along with her that well." Arnold said sweetly. He rubbed her hand comfortingly.

"If she wasn't suffocating me and I could actually breathe, she'd be okay."

"I'm sure she means well."

"Yeah like a root canal." Helga snorted. Anything to do with Olga was likely to get a snort or glare out of her. Especially after that whole miserable Girls' Night. Helga hardly wanted to think about what she would be going home to today.

The bell rang again and Arnold sighed wrapping his arm around her back as he led her to their next-period class.

"No. you take it."

"Helga."

"Football head, I want you to have it. It's your favorite. Besides you always give me the last one."

"Let's share it." Arnold proposed. Helga rolled her eyes but didn't disagree. "Whatever floats your boat, Hair boy."

Helga put a sandwich on her tray along with some fruit and chocolate milk. She could do this. She could try to eat and Arnold would be happy which meant she would be happy.

They made their way to their usual spot and sat down with Gerald and Phoebe.

Helga blushed when Arnold put the pudding between the two and brought out two spoons.

Her stomach lurched at the idea of food. Her hands shook as she took a bite of the sandwich. Chewing slowly she listened to the guys' conversation as did Phoebe.

Each bite felt like she swallowed a sandbag. Quietly she reminded herself if she wanted to get rid of it, she knew what she needed to do. She sat the sandwich down and frowned. Turning over to three friends she mumbled she was going to the bathroom.

Helga practically ran into the bathroom. She needed to get ahold of herself. She couldn't purge and she couldn't very well finish her sandwich much less the pudding she was sharing with Arnold.

Sighing she turned on the faucet and threw water on her face attempting to ground herself as she focused on steadying her breathing.

Everything felt like it was too much. The lights, the sounds of kids laughing and eating, and now her guilt.

Arnold was trying to share food with her- food he didn't necessarily need to share- and here she was in the bathroom close to tears because she couldn't handle eating like a normal person.

She wasn't normal.

Phoebe walked into the bathroom, "Helga?" Helga wiped her face and cleared her throat. "What is it?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just uh-u-" Helga's voice came out hoarse desperately searching for an excuse, "just needed a minute to myself."

"Helga, forgive me but what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Helga turned her back on the girl wiping her eyes, "I'm fine. Just needed a minute, okay."

"But you're crying."

"I'm overwhelmed Phoebe, okay? My stomach is hurting and I don't want to go to the Nurse alright? So please just go and let me figure this out."

"Again? Well, what if we go to the Nurse together and I sit with you? So you have support."

"Between you and Arnold I think I have enough of that."

"We just care about you, Helga."

"Yeah, I know. I know." She wiped a tear falling out her eye as she felt her throat close up.

She needed to get out of here and away from the cafeteria as soon as possible. She couldn't go to the Nurse because the Nurse would ask her questions.

Helga needed a space that wouldn't ask any questions.

She let out a sob as she covered her mouth, her back still to Phoebe.

"Helga, why don't we go to the Nurse? She could give you space to lay down so-"

"No! She'll ask me questions. I don't need that right now." She gasped out, clearly in over her head.

"I can't breathe!" She cried out falling to the floor. Phoebe was by her side instantly, "Helga, it's okay. Just match my breathing, okay? Breathe in," Phoebe took a deep breath and she held Helga's gaze. "Breathe out." Helga followed her lead.

"Now repeat after me, breathe in. Good. Good," she watched Helga take another deep breath. "Breathe out."

"Okay, one more time. Breathe in." Helga breathed in, closing her eyes, "Breathe out." Helga breathed out and looked down at the ground, having felt the anxiety simmer. "Thank you." She said in a small voice.

"You're welcome, Helga." Phoebe was hesitant to say anything else as she watched her best friend regain her composure.

Helga got up from the floor after a minute and splashed water on her face. She wiped her face with a paper towel and turned around to her friend, "And Phoebe? This never happened."

Helga walked out of the room.

She ignored the weird looks from her classmates and walked over to her boyfriend. She quietly sat down and moved her food to the right, having long since lost interest.

"You girls okay?" Gerald looked over at Helga and now Phoebe as the brunette made her way back to their table.

"Fine." They said in unison.

Arnold shot Helga a raised brow but didn't say anything. He looked over at the pudding and nudged her, "Ladies first."

"After you, football head. I'm not really that hungry."

Arnold took a bite and Helga's spoon out towards her. "What about a few bites?"

Helga took the spoon and rolled her eyes, taking a small spoonful of the pudding.

"Happy?"

"Helga."

"I took a bite. Be happy with that. I told you I wasn't hungry." She said irritated.

"I know you didn't eat this morning and the Nurse said-"

"I know what the Nurse said, Arnoldo."

Arnold swallowed his annoyance and looked at the girl. "Can you at least try to eat?"

"What does this look like?" Helga snipped, pointing down at the sandwich.

"Helga," Arnold said pointedly. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Fine! ," She took two big spoonfuls of the pudding and swallowed it in front of Arnold "Happy?" She got up and walked away from the other blonde, taking her backpack with her.

Helga ran to the Nurse's office and immediately begged to use her bathroom. Seeing the blonde disheveled, Nurse Shelly obliged and Helga practically sprinted into the room.

Throwing on the water, Helga walked to the toilet and shoved her fingers down her throat, immediately emptying the small amount of contents in her stomach. She jammed her fingers down her throat again and again, tears pricking in her eyes.

She tried to keep quiet as she purged. Knowing the Nurse's desk was right across from her.

"Helga, is everything okay in there?"

Helga gagged, coughing more. "Yes, I am fine." She coughed a bit more and flushed the toilet. "I choked on my own spit when I went to swallow. No big deal."

She washed her hands and walked out of the bathroom. "I really needed to go and I had just left the cafeteria. Have you been to the bathroom there? It's like a Zoo." She ignored the soreness in her throat.

The Nurse laughed. "I bet. Well, is everything else okay? Is your stomach doing okay?"

"Oh yeah. Hasn't given me any trouble. I'm feeling much better."

"That's good to hear Helga. Do you need a pass to your next class?"

Helga looked at the clock, the bell was going to ring any second, "No I think I'll be okay. Thanks though."

"Actually, can I brush my teeth in here? My dentist has been on me to brush more after eating. Do you mind?"

"I don't mind. Go to your locker and when you're done I can write you a pass."

"Thanks, I'll be back." Helga walked out the door into the now kid-infested hallway, determined to make it to her locker and back to the Nurse's office.

She pushed and prodded her way through the crowd not caring who she was pushing.

She finally made her way to her locker and sighed in relief. Opening the locker door she reached for her toothpaste and toothbrush and threw it in her backpack. She had to make this quick. Slamming the door shut, she almost ran into Phoebe.

Helga looked at the girl and said nothing and kept walking. She didn't have time for Phoebe much less have puke-stained breath in the middle of the hallway. Phoebe frowned as she watched the girl walk away from her. Every time it felt like she was getting somewhere with Helga, she forced her out. And Phoebe was used to Helga doing that with everyone else but with her, Phoebe felt abandoned.

She missed her best friend. Gerald walked up to her with an easy smile. As far as he was aware Pataki was Pataki and she'd eventually sort herself out.

"Don't worry about it, babe. Pataki'll come around. Just like I was telling Arnold. The girl is bold but even she knows when she's wrong."

"Gerald, it's not about that."

"Then what is it about?"

"It's a private matter." Phoebe looked at the boy and sighed. "I really can't divulge the details. Even if I wanted to."