I don't fucking believe it. So much for being an atheist I guess.

I look all around me. All I see is the void. The off white glowing text in front of me the only thing seeming to exist other than me. Like the lure of an Anglerfish ready to reel me back in to the land of the living.

I wanted non existence. Or, at least thought there was no other choice. I remember pulling the trigger, then nothing. I wonder if this is some sort of cosmic Joke.

Maybe I did survive, and this is a coma. Which…nah probably not. They were pretty powerful shotgun rounds. It should have been impossible. Hell, lucky if there was even wall left.

I sigh as I press the button. Might as well get this over with.

A ping sounds, and the menu changes. A mechanical woman's(GLaDOS)voice reads as the text pops up. "Congratulations for completing your first life. Total score, 20,000. average score in home universe, 10,000,000."

I stare laughing at the numbers...wow I sucked.

"It is based on accomplishments in life. It would have been lower but suffering, and failures also count as accomplishments."

Wow, so I accomplished basically nothing but having a shitty life. Thanks for the pity points I guess.

"You are welcome."

Should have realized you were someone, and not just a robot.

"Yes, you probably should have. Someone had to build this system. Yes, my voice sounds like this, because you could not possibly understand my true voice with your puny third dimensional consciousness."

Well...Okay then.

Anyways, lets continue. What now?

"You have read many similar stories, you should have some idea. You shall be reborn into another universe with the gamer system. You shall have access to your past life's memories. Cliche I know."

Hey, you said it not me. So, which world will I be reborn into? Who will I be?

"That's entirely up to you, although we do have popular choices. Due to having literally an infinite number of universes in existence, we narrow it down for the soul to choose from."

Well, that's nice of you. What are my choices?

Text pops up 'Top ten choices.'

Out of the list I choose Dragon Ball Z. Although I was tempted with the Pokemon world. The DBZ universe is just so much bigger. Hell I might end up in Pokemon later.

Why was I chosen. My points are abysmal.

"Ah, well…truthfully this is your one millionth failed life. After that may failures, we take pity on a soul, and help it out in its next life. It's to keep karmic balance in the multiverse."

Well...damn. I look at the list of names for DBZ. Ah screw it. I choose Goku. Wonder how that will work with me being a girl.

I wonder how much I will fuck up this life.

"There is no way you could fuck it up worse than your other lives, and the gamer system will help you."

Gee, thanks.

"You are most welcome. Fleshy meat bag."

The void blurs, then all of a sudden my vision comes into focus. I'm in a huge crater apparently. Why am I naked?

I get up and look around...there is a huge pile of viscera on the ground. Well, that's disturbing.

Well...I'm naked, covered in blood. My face is wet from crying. I was supposed to be Goku. So this pile of viscera must be Gohan. I wonder why I came in right after killing him.

'Son Amako was not truly sentient until this moment. Different children gain sentience at different points in their life. Sometimes it is accelerated through traumatic events. Your soul was asleep until this point'

Ah, how informative.

'I aim to please.'

My face deadpans. Of course. What now?

'Think menu, I'm certain you can figure out the rest. You have wasted enough of your life playing video games.'

You're not a very nice person, you know that.

Menu. A menu pops up. Character sheet. Son Amako. Age 5. Well fuck, that's terrible. She killed her grandpa at 5. Kind of late to become sentient honestly. In my original life I became sentient around one or two.

Then I look at my stats. Strength-25, endurance-25, dexterity-25, intelligence-10(warning concussion), wisdom-25, perception-25, luck-5.

Well…that's not good.

I look at the pile of viscera, what should I do with this. I got it. I jump out of the crater, bend over on the edge like a dog and start shoveling dirt onto Gohan. Then I find a big shiny rock, and put it in place as his grave marker.

Satisfied I speed off towards the lake I remember being over here. As someone who hated running this is the best.

I get to the lake and jump in. It's ice cold. I take a deep breath and dive under the water. My heart stops as I see a gargantuan fish. Holy hell! It's one thing on a screen, it's another thing altogether to see it in person.

I swim as fast as I can towards shore. As soon as I make to shore I hear a ping. Checking my skills I see 'swimming level 2. Well...this is going to be fun. Meanwhile my heart is still trying to beat out of my chest.

I arrive at Gohan's house. Wow. This is adorable I love it. In my old life I never owned my own home. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

Going inside I look around. I look at myself in the mirror on the wall. Literally a mini Gine with hair down to my butt like Radditz. At least I don't have that stupid widows peak.

Ah I look adorable with my cute fluffy tail. I've always kind of wondered what having a tail would be like, I'll be sure to train it unlike Goku.

I searched through the clothes, and to my surprise I found Saiyan armor that looks like Gine's. I guess because I'm a girl. Honestly, its not that big of a surprise, I don't think they would actually send Goku to another planet without at least armor.

I put the armor in my inventory for later, and put on the classic blue outfit, but don't wear the wrist bands. Then I put some leftovers to cook on the stove. No refrigerator. This is going to be annoying

After eating I go right to bed. I fall asleep with a smile on my face thinking about how thoroughly I'm going to destroy any semblance of canon.

Ping. 'You have slept in a bed, all negative status effects healed. Concussion removed.' I mean...that wasn't really a bed, but okay I guess. All of a sudden A memory flashes before my eyes, of me banging on a circular window calling to my parents crying as they put me in the attack ball...well damn.

I wipe the tears from my eyes, eat some grilled fish and rice, and head out.