Many Disney and Marvel characters were gathering in an auditorium, in sunny San Francisco for quite an unusual awards banquet. Not just any awards banquet, but a banquet of awards for many, many different superheroes. Superheroes with and without superpowers. And superheroes with and without secret identities. Characters poured in from St. Canard, Cape Suzette, Gotham City, Spoonerville, and even Duckburg. And once everyone was seated, Megavolt stepped up and tapped the microphone to get everyone's attention. Once all eyes were on him, he carried out the initial address. "Welcome everyone. Welcome to the Ultimate Ceremony of All-Time Superhero Awards. The first few awards will be presented by my best friend ever. He has a pilot's license. He swapped looting for aerobatic flying. And he wears pants amid several enemies who don't, just as I do. Please help me welcome Don Karnage!"
Everyone cheered as Don Karnage took the microphone, and he was totally polite back. "Thank you. Thank you. Or first award of the year is for the All-Time Dumbest Superhero. This particular hero takes his ques from Batman. He gets hurt quite a lot and really deserves it. Just one family member of his knows his secret identity. And one time, he even crashed his motorcycle with no helmet. The All-Time Dumbest Superhero award goes to Darkwing Duck!"
Everyone laughed as Darkwing Duck refused to receive his badge. And Megavolt used static electricity to stick it on him anyway. Darkwing tried yanking it loose repeatedly, but it kept sticking right back on.
Next, Megavolt took the stand again. "Now for our second award of the year. This particular superhero has no secret identity and is extremely talented in mixed martial arts, especially with nun chucks. And yet, if he catches anyone goofing off, he just can't resist joining in on it. The All-Time Super Goof Award goes to Michael Angelo!"
Everyone laughed as Mikey came up to Megavolt to receive the trophy, and as soon as he laid a finger on it, the paparazzi went berserk. Don Karnage took the stand again. And he was a little emotional. "Our next award of the year is a Purple Heart, going to a very young hero who never even joined the American Armed Forces but deserves such an award every bit as much as they do. Sadly, he can't be with us tonight. He never failed to be funny. He was always cute. He was an exceptional dancer. And in a terrible attack from Colonel Ivanod Spigot, he gave his life to save the lives of his mother and all his friends. The Purple Heart goes to Flick Duck."
The crowd cheered, just knowing that Flick was really enjoying this part of the ceremony in spirit, and the next villain to take the stand was Steelbeak. "Now in this year's banquet comes the Underwear Display Award. This superhero has been shot, stabbed, and run over. Yet, he's repeatedly come back from the dead but dreads it a lot. And he wears his underwear on the outside of his suit. The Underwear Display Award goes to Kenneth McCormick a.k.a. Mysterion."
Kenny stepped forward to receive his award, and the moment he had his hands on it, the paparazzi went crazy. Next, Megavolt stepped up to the microphone again. "Our next marvelous award of the year is the Total Arrogance Award. This guy can run at just about the speed of sound. He thinks he's so much better than villains like me as if he has no idea that villains are a vital element of fiction. And much like my best friend, Don Karnage, he wasn't interested when love came along. The total Arrogance Award goes to Sonic the Hedgehog!"
In the audience, Sonic laughed his head off, but Amy Rose was sitting right next to him, And she came after Megavolt with her sledgehammer. But Megavolt used his electrical superpower on her. It didn't take her long to recover, so Don Karnage used his sword to slice the hammer's head clear off. Sonic and Amy realized they had both been outdone this time. And Karnage took the stand again. "Let's carry on, shall we? The next award of the year is the Big Time Immodesty Award. This annoying, little guy fell into a huge Nasty Hyenas trap, has no clue about how crummy he is at martial arts, and rarely wears any pants, effectively mooning an undeserving villain. The Big Time Immodesty Award goes directly to Antoine Depardieu!"
Antoine was so humiliated he wet his chair, and the mockery immediately began. "Antoine! Antoine! You can't avoid needing diapers!"
One more villain took the stand, and this time, it was Percival C. McLeach. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we now turn our attention to the All-Time Smartest Hero Award. This little guy can calculate any math problem, in seconds, no matter how advanced. He can diagnose and repair any technology, known to man, beast, or alien, no matter complicated. He's completely bulletproof. And he can lift objects that weigh up to 30,000 pounds. The All-Time Smartest hero award goes directly to Experiment 626 a.k.a. Stitch!"
Stitch's ohana, including Lilo, Nani, and Jumba cheered as Stitch came up and received the best award of the year or depending on how you look at it, the second or third best.