this is a really old thing that I still kind of like, edited only slightly. it followed a timeline I'd made up about Half Life and its different cities. the original notes of this will be at the bottom. I'm pretty sure that this was done before watching a playthrough of Half Life Alyx

started: 18/9/2020

'Judith! did you hear?!'

'about what?'

'Barney got a spot in the Combine!' she felt herself stiffen, though a smile graced her features regardless.

'really? whatever for? I thought being near that place was the last thing he'd want to do.'

'he's gonna be acting as our Spy, gettin' us information on how them bastards operate, and what their plans are! isn't that great?!' every single nerve within her body cringed at the news, though she didn't let a single emotion show. instead, she clasped her hands and forced a laugh, bowing in what she hoped was elation and not worry.

'that's- of course! goodness, what a bold thing to do - going up the ranks to learn more about their formations and what-not.'

'oh heavens no, he's only gonna stay in the Police rank, right here in City 9. if he's in a rank further out than that, then it'll be way harder to get him back here safely for reports, and we do not want to risk that. not at the stage we're in.' she nodded along, sympathetic and understanding, her heart a thrum of nervous activity. 'but this - this is exactly what we need. with an inside source, we can know what they're going to do, and plan for it.' Eli was positively beaming. the last time she'd seen him so happy was when Alyx had spoken her first words.

'but wouldn't it be dangerous? it does seem like such a humongous risk to take.'

'we've spoken at length about everything, and he's assured me that he wants to do this. I trust him. he can handle himself - and hey, if he can't, then we're always a knock away.' and Judith nodded again, her smile still stitched in place.

they got on to talking about other things - teleporter progress, how the leg was feeling, how were you holding up - before bidding each other good night and heading off on their ways. she jotted everything down in her notebook for memories sake about the conversation, then slipped off into undreaming sleep.

'so Calhoun! I hear you secured yourself a place within the Metric! that's very brave of you.' Barney stared at her, dumbfounded, before the mask easily fell into place. he squared his shoulders and stood straighter, but since Judith was taller, it didn't really make a lick of difference.

'sure did Ma'am, but it's ah, rather sensitive information, if yer' be catchin' my drift.' she couldn't say she was shocked at his coldness, but it still irritated her anyway. she recoiled away anyway, dramatically, the essence of offended.

'what- do you not trust me? I'm sure a weeks worth of work is nothing to gossip about!'

'ah, it ain't that, but. eh.' he shrugged. it wasn't exactly helpful. 'I'm still finding out all the tricks of that Hell for myself, so I ain't in a position to outright talk 'bout it yet, y'know? but uh, thanks for the celebration, I guess, ah shit, would'che just look at the time - I'm late for Alyx' tea party! sorry Miss Mossman, I'll catch ya later!' just like that, he was off, faster than the Road Runner. once he was out of sight, she huffed.

trust Barney to know better.

she'd decided to do research in her off time. who the new recruits within the Metric were, who's performances were brand new and who's performances were old shots, where each rank was situated within City 9. the Metric Police were very anonymous in their biddings - no records of names, no I.D's, no photos of the faces they had before putting on the masks, only records of their arrest rates, kill rates, weapon ranks. the slew of uncoordinated information was confusing - some Coppers had ranked up the boards within three weeks, from Stun Sticks to SMG's, while others had taken four months to even be granted access to a Pistol. she couldn't even begin to guess which one was Barney, the hive mind so similar to each other that it made an estimated guess outright impossible.

Barney had worked there for just over four weeks, yet the newest entry she could find was someone being granted Pistol access at seven weeks. she couldn't wrap her head around it - how had he managed to not only by-pass the system, but also change it? were the Combine that unbothered in protecting their electrical equipment, or were the systems really that easy to hack?

…

hack.

suddenly it all made perfect sense.

'Calhoun … now why does that name strike such a particular chord?'

'he was a security member back at Black Mesa, I believe.' silence rang through the radio, before slow, quiet chuckles bubbled through, that quickly morphed into full blown cackles. his howls were so loud, she had to frantically dial the knob down so his laughter didn't echo down the halls and attract unwanted attention. she stared, incredulous, at the little radio, impatiently waiting for him to finish.

'Barney Calhoun?! that bumbling fool from Blue Shift?!' another howl, far more ugly than the first. it came out static-y and garbled, sounding more like it was coming from a nightmare rather than a man. she supposed the comparison fit him perfectly. 'my dear, there is absolutely nothing to worry about, that idiot-' he broke off into another half chuckle. 'he couldn't tell the difference between threat and superstition. why, I'm utterly surprised he managed to keep his job at Black Mesa in the first place! the fact he liked hanging around with that Doctor Freeman at all should be more than enough to see his incompetence, and to be left with such an important task! he will be found within a matter of weeks without my intrusion, no doubts about it.'

'Doctor, with all due respect, shouldn't you at least see into it?'

'and for what? such an act would waste time and resources. it is simply not needed; if he wants to try and play saviour to a dying cause, then let him have it. we shall simply await from the side-lines.' she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. 'there is nothing to fret over, Doctor Mossman. Calhoun was a nobody at Black Mesa, and he will continue to be a nobody here.'

'you underestimate him.' was all she said to the black box.

'and you don't trust me.' she bit her tongue.

'it's. not that I don't trust you, Doctor, it's just that I think caution is needed.' he hummed at that.

'I, suppose, that's fair. … how about this.' there was silence for dramatic effect that she didn't much appreciate. 'to alleviate your concerns, I shall keep as close an eye on the Metric Police department as I can. if I see a single piece of suspicious activity, I shall remove that person and send them over to Nova Prospect to. elevate, their position. how does that sound?' pretty bad, actually.

'I suppose that's good enough.'

'again, Doctor Mossman, there is absolutely no need for concern. what's the worst Calhoun could do? spark a revolution and kick start a mini war? the man couldn't even climb through vents without causing a grand scale racket, let alone that he was climbing through vents to begin with!' she tried not to bite. she just about managed to hold it back. sometimes, it was a chore to work with Dr Breen. they cut their call and went about with their duties.

she couldn't understand why he couldn't just order a line up and rip the masks off, one by one, to see who lay under them. finding Calhoun out that way would be far easier than waiting to see what kind of damage he could inflict, what kind of information he brought back, all the things he would see. if I were in charge, things would be run better, she thinks bitterly.

three people within a month had had their masks ripped off. none of them were Calhoun. one more was sent over to a small scale Nova anyway, in what she guessed was a threat. all the actions did was make Calhoun become extra careful. no suspicious activity was reported in, no Combine acted out of line, yet she could tell that more and more civilians were disappearing from the City. she couldn't say why she felt such a way, she could just tell. every time she reported back to Dr Breen, every single claim was either disputed or ignored. nothing ever came of her reports, and was instead told to focus on the advancements of Issac and Eli's teleporters.

throughout all six of their transfers, Calhoun had managed to score a place within the Metric Police Department, every single time. he never did excellent enough to rank up, but he never did terrible enough to turn heads. just decently enough.

no matter how many times she hinted, or down right asked, Dr Breen would never file enough interest into her claims to warrant a full check up of the Metric Police. the longer Calhoun stayed within the Combine, the more insight the group gained; they learned about their hot spots, their true taste in weapons, the true evils they conducted; about the growth of Nova Prospect, what happened to you when you resisted, what kind of mindless monster you turned in to. once they'd hit City 13, Calhoun had seen it all. he barely spoke to her about any of it, let alone spoke to her at all, avoiding her at any and all costs. Alyx maintained her distance, usually wanting to do her own check-up's on electronics and gizmo's rather than let Judith touch them, which made tampering a much harder job. even Issac didn't much bother with her, nor did he feign trust in her to help out around his lab unsupervised; it was only Eli that seemed to see her.

it was as if they already knew what she was, and their way of dealing with her wasn't to banish her, or call her out, but keep her there, and outright ignore her presence all together. keep her there, then pretend to see nothing but empty air.

and that was the worst feeling in the world.

2020 notes:

this takes place in City 11

Breen strikes me as a very arrogant, self righteous, God-complex stuck up prick that, after the Seven Hour War, wouldn't have taken things like this very seriously. the fact that Barney was still in the Combine while Judith knew about it tells me that he didn't really care/probably forgot about Barney all together

Russel hacked the Combine information to edit Barney's file, but Judith thinks Alyx did it! I dunno a lot about that guy other than he's into computers and he downloaded the entire internet but he seems real cool