Okay guys I'm sorry about the quality of this... I'm doing it on my phone while I'm on a cruise while drinking.
By the way, that's kind of related to the plot bunny for this fic.
I'll make corrections (hopefully) and post it when I'm back in the U.S.
Sucks that Jaune's trip is longer than mine. Or maybe that's a good thing.
And yes, you read that right. Jaune's a demigod and Bleiss is a thing in this universe.
Now before we begin, go ahead and tell me right off the bat, who do you think Jaune's gotten snagged by?
No cheating!
Let's roll.
Chapter One 'I Done Goofed'.
Waking up is hard. Waking up as hungover as the Drunkle to one of my best friends is harder. Waking up hungover on a rocking boat was hardest.
Or so I thought when I did so. Thank Dust it turns out I don't suffer from seasickness. Just stupidly high flying death machines really get to me. So I guess I really only deal with airsickness. Which is ironic considering my- I'm rambling. Aren't I?
Right. You probably have already figured it out by now, my name's Jaune Arc.
'Short, sweet, rolls off the tongue... Ladies love it!'
Or at least one did if the extra weight on top of me is any indication...
Wait... Weight!?!?!
With my hangover miraculously vanishing, I tried to move, but found myself unable to do so as the distinctly female form cuddled up closer onto me.
'It's probably Pyrrha.' I tell myself. Her, Ruby, Nora, or (Heaven forbid) Bleiss. They're all very cuddly, but Nora only targets me when Ren isn't available.
Ruby only comes after me every once in a while. Thank goodness Yang trusts me or else I'd be mega dead. Which I totally understand, considering I have seven sisters of my own. I can be pretty protective of them too.
You wouldn't think it, considering my admittedly plain swordsmanship, but I'm not half bad in a brawl or with various farming tools and blunt force instruments.
Or a bow...
Or a hunting knife...
What? Life on the Valean Frontier is tough! Everyone's gotta do their part when the village is under a Grimm or bandit attack.
Or put food on the table after a bad harvest...
Anyways...
We don't let Bleiss cuddle with me for obvious reasons. And not because she and Pyrrha get along like a fox and a hen...
Even though it's hard to tell which is the fox and which is the hen...
Why can't they just be friends?
How does Ruby keep Bleiss in line?
Don't get me wrong! Bleiss really is a nice enough girl when you get past her... Eccentricities...
I just wish she'd stop antagonizing Pyrrha and messing with me.
And I think we could all agree that she could stand to be nicer. And less rude...
Maybe the reason why she and Pyrrha don't get along is because they're polar opposites?
Oh.
That's eye opening.
Certainly explains why Bleiss went to the Dance with Cardin. She wanted to get on Pyrrha's nerves!
Or maybe it doesn't... Bleiss hates Cardin.
With a passion.
That's one thing I know both girls agree on.
Girls are confusing.
Growing up with seven sisters hasn't really been much help in that department.
Let's move on.
Pyrrha has always been the cuddliest of the four, but ever since what has become known as the Battle for Beacon, she's gotten even cuddlier. Maybe she's still recovering? My thoughts darkened at the memory of that night.
I could still remember the screams, the fires, the Grimm dragon, and the White Fang members I was forced to kill.
Adam's blood-soaked sword...
Blake's broken heart...
The storm in my veins...
My sword breaking...
Adam's last gasp...
Pyrrha's first defeat...
Cinder's malicious smile...
The roar of the dragon Grimm...
The crash of the dragon Grimm's corpse...
The wet crunch of broken bodies...
The tearing of flesh...
The absolute terror on Cinder's face...
The light fading from that witch's eyes...
So much blood...
I was trying to fight my way back up to Beacon's Tower to help my partner with that witch. But I had to take a shortcut through the library when I saw Blake cornered by that red haired jerk from the White Fang.
I knew who he was. Blake had told all of us about him.
This was Adam Taurus. He taught Blake, one of the best fighters of our year, and was once somebody she greatly admired. She told us of how he was treated as a child and how it turned him into the hateful man he was now. And, at the time, how she believed he could still be saved. They used to be friends. Not only that, but from what Blake had told me, he was just as, if not more, skilled than Pyrrha.
And he was here, about to kill the one person who could still see some shred of good in him.
I couldn't.
Blake was bleeding badly and on the ground when I saw Adam raise his bloody katana to finish her off when I reacted on instinct.
I was just so... So angry...
Between seeing Blake, someone who I had admired so much being beaten down and about to die at the hands of someone she once called a friend, and learning from Nora, who I had sent to back up Pyrrha and Ozpin, that my own partner had, instead of trying to regroup with the rest of our team and friends, decided to kill herself in an unwinnable fight against Cinder, the mastermind behind this whole shitstorm, I think it's sort of understandable what happened next.
But it doesn't excuse me for what I did.
Seeing as Blake clutched her red stab wound I knew her Aura was broken.
Seeing the pain and betrayal in her eyes, I knew her spirit had been broken.
At that time, I wanted a lot of things.
I wanted to help my friends.
I wanted to make sure they were okay.
I wanted to tear Pyrrha a new one for being so foolish.
My anger turned into rage as I considered that this was not the first time Adam may have killed someone who at the end of the day, like Blake and I, just wanted to make the world a better place.
All because they were in the way of his twisted form justice.
Adam didn't care about right and wrong. Nor did he care if you were a human or faunus. If you were in his way, you died. It didn't matter if it was man, woman, or child.
Guilty or innocent.
Adam just wanted to kill humans.
In that moment, my list of wants became larger. And I will always hate myself for it.
Because at first, I wanted Adam and Cinder to stop.
Then, I wanted Adam and Cinder to hurt.
Finally, above all else, I wanted Adam and Cinder to die.
And they would.
My Aura flared to life and instead of the familiar white I had grown accustomed to, a Golden Fire wrapped itself tightly around my body. And for the first time I knew what was going on.
My Semblance was awoken.
But not only that, for the first time in ten years, I broke my first promise...
I called the storm... And it answered.
Just as Ren had taught me in our many Aura training sessions, I flooded my Soul's strength throughout my body. But instead of the gentle stream of strength I usually felt when channeling my Aura through my body, I felt as though a dam had broken within my mind and was swept up with an overwhelming current of power...
'At least they wouldn't hurt anyone ever again...'
I shook my head free of those bad memories. It was the past. What mattered now was that Blake, Pyrrha and all my friends were safe.
That's all that mattered.
'I need to focus on the present. Happier issues. Like who is sleeping with me.'
If only I could see who was snuggling me. Too bad the light switch is by the door and my cabin didn't have a wind- I mean port hole! Yeah. A port hole. Ships have port holes.
Cabin? Ship? Port holes? Right. Let's clear that up.
A couple of weeks ago, Nora decided to enter our entire team into what amounted to a lottery for a two week cruise for Festival Cruise Lines over summer break and, somehow, we won.
We also got to bring a plus one each and that's how Team RBBY wound up on this trip with us.
Team CFVY is here too. Coco said she wanted to treat her team to something nice. Velvet looks especially happy. She even seems to be coming out of her shell too!
"Ren?" I whispered/hissed. "Ren? Are you up? Or here?" No response. He must be out. Otherwise, he'd have answered. Years on the road with a hyperactive Nora and all sorts of different dangers had left my team's ninja a light sleeper.
Ren and I were bunking together while Pyrrah and Nora had their own cabin across the hall. Team RBBY was split up between two cabins as well. Ruby was bunking with her sister, and Bleiss with Blake.
Coco and Velvet are sharing a cabin as Fox and Yatsuhashi do the same.
Up to speed? Yes? Good.
Now, while I let Pyrrha (I think it's her) sleep, I'm trying to remember what happened last night...
We were celebrating something... I think.
Let's see...
Our itinerary ( I think that's the fancy word for schedule since that's what Pyrrha called it, so I'm probably using the word right) was like this.
Day 1 Monday: Board ship and set sail.
Day 2 Tuesday: Sea day. Explore the ship. The water slide is a lot of fun. And all the other guests are so nice! Especially the girls! Though, they do look at me kinda funny. (Speaking of, the girls from Beacon have been acting weirder than usual for the past few months since the Battle for Beacon. Especially now at the pool. I've been getting some weird looks. It's sort of like how Pyrrha and Bleiss have been looking at at me since the start of Beacon. Is it the scars? Should I start covering up again?)
Day 3 Wednesday: First stop, Crescent Luna Island. The sea turtles were very cute. (I never thought I'd see Bleiss squee like that since meeting Zwei! I'd like to see that side of her more often.)
Day 4 Thursday: Sea day. Had to stop Nora from breaking another guest's legs for trying to 'steal her Ren'. I also found the onboard arcade! Too bad I got banned from playing the prize games after winning two new gaming consoles. (I was on a roll!) I can still play the other games at least...
Day 5 Friday (yesterday): Port Free Sky. Note to self, do NOT get between Yang and her strawberry sunrises (maybe it's a Branwen thing?), or Ruby and her strawberry frosted chocolate chip cookies. Side note: If those seagulls wanted my sympathy, they shouldn't have tried to steal my ice cream...
Okay, today is Day 6 Saturday, which is a sea day. Let's hope nothing too crazy happens...
So what happened after getting back on the ship? I'm drawing blanks. All I know is that there was a LOT of alcohol. And singing...
Oh dear Dust, did Bleiss try 'serenading' me again?
That girl must be some sort of cosmic punishment for a past life of mine...
As I was wracking my brain for answers it clearly was struggling to give me, my bedmate shifted even closer and pressed her head onto my bare chest with a contented sigh.
Hold up. Bare chest? What happened to my t-shirt? (Before you ask about what happened to my beloved onesie; I have no idea. It disappeared around the second week of my first year in Beacon.) Please, please, please, PLEASE tell me neither my sleeping partner and I are naked.
I registered that right arm was now free and for a moment, I considered waking the girl on top of me - AND OH DUST!!! I JUST FELT A DRAFT ON MY LEG!!!
WE ARE NAKED!!!
COMMAND.
I REPEAT.
WE.
ARE.
NAKED!!!
I froze in place as my blood ran so cold it made ice look hot.
Okay Jaune, don't freak out... Just because we're naked, doesn't mean we did... That...
Right?
I'm doomed. I'm gonna die, aren't I?
After a few tense moments debating with myself on whether or not I should awaken the girl on top of me, I relented.
If I can feel out her hair style, I may be able to guess who is in my bed. (It's a trick I picked up with my seven sisters with a seventy percent success rate. They all were pretty cuddly too.) And depending on who it is, I may be able to not die instantly and figure out what exactly happened.
As slowly and gently as I could manage, I placed my free hand down atop the woman's head.
'Please don't be Yang. Please don't be Yang. Please, Dayfather, don't let it be Ya- are those cat ears?'
Sure enough, my fingers were met with a pair of luxuriously soft feline ears.
And before I realized it, my traitorous fingers began to rub and scritch those two divine triangles of fluff against my will.
Blake is going to skin me alive when she wakes up.
Wait.
Is that purring?
My shock was short-lived, however as nothing could have prepared me for what came next.
"Mmhmm... Morning, Jaune." Was all I heard before I felt Blake's hands cup my face and an oh so soft and warm pair of lips were pressed against my own.
Yang's gonna kill me, isn't she?
AND SCENE!!!
Now seriously, any of you who has seen me lurking around this site, knows I love me sum good ol' Knightshade. It's practically in the title!
Personally, my Top 10 Jaune-Ships goes like this:
Number 1: Knightshade - (I have no idea why. I just love this ship.) Jaune x Blake- Almost any version of it will work for me, especially when instigated by our favorite ninja catgirl.
Number 2: Reverse White Knight - Uninterested(?) Jaune x VERY Interested Weiss (Does Blackguard (Jaune x Bleiss) count? I think so...) It's just so silly. Especially when Weiss is in denial. But this ship has the potential for some serious creep factors if Weiss/Bleiss go down the yandere route. (And I mean it in a good way.) Shoutout to Mallobaude's 'Ice Queen's Obsession' being an excellent example of that.
Number 3: Dragonslayer - Jaune x Yang - Particularly the thirsty simp mega-vigin Yang variety. It's hilarious seeing someone like Yang fumble the adorkable Jaune without him realizing she's into him.
Number 4: Jaune x Velvet (I forgot this ship's name.) - Because bunnies. Velvet is just adorable and sweet.
Number 5: Arkos - Jaune x Pyrrha - The classic Jaune Ship. Pyrrha was higher on this list until Volume 3 happened. This ship used to be tied at number 2 with Reverse White Knight for me. Her death was just so stupid. If anything, it just caused more problems. But the plot demanded it...
Don't get me wrong! I still love Pyrrha's character! I'm just still salty about how they handled her death. Seriously, look at it from Jaune's perspective. It looked like she had practically given up on him and decided to kill herself for seemingly nothing. Like a dumbass.
Back to the list...
Number 6: Lancaster - Another classic ship for Jaune. They go well together. Nothing more to say here. The only reason why Arkos beats out Lancaster is due to how sibling like their relationship could evolve.
Number 7: Arcwitch - Jaune could use a little extra credit... I could certainly see Glynda 'groom' Jaune into a beast.
Bad joke. I know... Please don't kill me.
Number 8: Nora x Jaune. (I've pretty much forgotten the names for almost all the other Jaune ships out there.) I could actually see this happen if Ren and Pyrrha were out of the picture. After Ren, Jaune is the best at handling Nora's... Noraness... Probably has something to with his seven sisters.
Number 9: Silent Knight - (I think that's the Jaune x Neo ship name) The idea of Jaune turning a funsized mentally unstable ice cream themed assassin into a lovesick one fighting for the good guys is always a treat.
Number 10: The MILF Squad. Doesn't have to be just the Atlesian ones. (Just no cheating. I can't stand the idea of unfaithfulness.) The hijinks involved with any Jaune x MILF is just too much fun for me to ignore.
Honorable Mention : Knightfall - Jaune x Cinder - The idea of Jaune reaching Cinder and turning her good before the attack on Beacon is quite appealing. As well as the idea of Cinder inexplicably being attracted to the goofball and resolving to have him all to herself is also enticing.
Anyways.
I really don't know how drunk me is gonna handle this. That guy is an idiot. Then again, sober me is too.
Obviously, I'm not taking this fic very seriously so I don't honestly expect to go very far with this fic. I'm thinking no more than 10 chapters here with this chapter and chapter two being out this weekend when I get back to the U.S.
But, depending on how many requests I get, I may do a spinoff in the future detailing Jaune's circumstances and arrival at Beacon as well as his time there.
Might even change a few things like Jaune's obliviousness and/or team placements.
Who knows?
The next chapter will look into Blake's thoughts about how things have led up to this point and how she feels about this situation.
Credit goes to Weird Al's "What I Bought, on eBay"
(I just changed a few lyrics.)
OMAKE: "WHAT I BOUGHT ON SCHNEEBAY"
By a very drunk Jaune Arc.
Location: The onboard karaoke station.
(Feel free to imagine this in chibi format. This is what really happened the previous night.)
"A used, pink bath robe... A rare, mint snow globe... A smurf TV tray... I bought on Schneebay.
My house, is filled, with, this crap... Shows up in bubble wrap... Most everyday, what I bought on Schneebay...
Tell me why! I need another pet rock!
Tell me why! I got that elf alarm click!
Tell me why! I bid on Ozpin's old toupee!
They had it on Schneebay!
I'll buy, your knick-knack
Just check, my feedback!
A plus-plus, they all say
They live me on Schneebay!
Gonna buy a slightly damaged golf bag
Gonna buy some beanie babies, new with tag!
From some guy, I've never met in Patch-hey!
I found him on SchneeBay!
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa!
Got PalPay or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough!
I'll buy your Tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)
I'm highest bidder!
Junk keeps arriving in the mail (now, yeah)
From that worldwide garage sale (Dukes of Hazard ashtray)
Hey, a Dukes of Hazard ashtray (oh, yeah)
I bought it on SchneeBay
Wanna buy a Pac-Man Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case of Vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. May (used by Dr. May)
Found it on SchneeBay
Wanna buy that Farrah Ferret poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why
The kind of stuff you'd throw away (away I throw)
I'll buy on SchneeBay
What I bought on SchneeBay..."
Roll Credits!