Ichigo has fought and lost, big time. The Arrancar have stripped him of all his belief and left him with his worst fears. But perhaps there is someone who can bring him back. ( I'm terrible at summaries.)

Takes place in Bleach chapter 195. Right after Ichigo's fight against the Arrancar the first time. It is from Ichigo's perspective.

DISCLAIMER:

I don't own bleach or any of its characters. The speeches that are in italics are from the manga.

"Dimwit! They're the ones that kicked your ass a few days ago!"

Surprise jolted my senses from the voice shouting behind me, clear and strong. One I knew so well, that I dreamt about and could never forget. My eyes widened as I turned. A small delicate hand appeared, pulling themselves up effortlessly on their feet.

"Rukia..."

She grinned, her arms casually crossed over her chest.

"Long time no see, Ichigo."

Standing in the most unusual places she could ever be in; The window sill of the second story classroom. In the back of my mind I would have remarked on it. But I could not find the words the moment my eyes landed on her.

What was she doing here? I wasn't in any danger, and the last time I saw her, she had wanted to stay there. I respected her decision despite the subtle ache that came when she told me.

The moment my eyes found her bright gaze I felt my soul cave. I couldn't let her see it. She would know.

my weakness

my failure.

My Shame.

Her expression morphed from joyous to analyzing to a ... frown? That was the last thought that entered my mind before her foot was barrelling towards me landing an unnecessary painful hit upon my cheek snapping me out of my stupor.

I internally groaned

What the hell is wrong with this woman.

My back was stopped by another body

"What's the big idea...?" And all of a sudden my arms were entrapped by Renjis. Then the next thing I know, Rukia slapped me, hard. One for each side of my face, just in case she thought she missed a spot...

Who knows by her logic.

Not a full day has passed since the incident and now all the vice captains and Hitsugaya showed up. Plus Rukia is beating the shit out of me. Honestly, why do I bother getting out of bed?

"Damn-" Before I could start demanding answers as to why she decided to kick my ass without warning.

"What's up with that wimpy look on your face!?" I stopped,

"What...?"

How...?

The next thing I knew was that I was out of my body...

"COME WITH ME!"

Her ability to pull me out of my body at the most inconvenient times was something I wished she would think about prior too. Instead I'm being dragged out of my body, her firm grip on my hair as she pulled me out the window and then the fact my lifeless body was again, LEFT, in a place where there are logical human beings who will call EMS.

No more trips to the morgue. Once was enough thank you very much.

For a spring afternoon, the weather was fairly mild with a slight crisp wind blowing every now and then.

How would I know that?

I now have a midget sized woman on my back, unresponsive to my questions, on her phone having me aimlessly hopping rooftops in the directions she specifies when she decides to speak.

Lovely

"Oi, Rukia... Where are we going?" I'll try again, I've got nothing to lose.

"Rukia..." Nothing... Well time to use the old but reliable back up

"MIDGET!" That earned a hard smack on my shoulder. I grunted

"What?" I frowned, now the smack is normal , her answer is not.

"I..." I hesitated " Is everything alright."

"Hm." I rolled my eyes but the slight twist in my stomach remained.

"Where are we going?" No answer. I inwardly sighed, this was a lost cause.

"There." I perked up and looked at the direction she pointed. An empty rooftop. Landing I crouched down to let her off.

Sliding off she stood still waiting.

With a sudden blast rubble was thrown in every direction and dust filling the air as a piercing cry echoed. I felt a tightening in my chest.

Hollow

My legs felt like rubber and my arms wooden planks nailed to my side. Sweat beaded my head and my breath came out in short pants as the hollow slowly moved about the space looking for its first victim. There is nothing I can do.

Rukia took a glance and sighed and with a swift motion she yelled

"GO GET HIM!"

Logic... she has logic right?

Because she just throttled me down into the pit. Landing face forward is great.

As I looked up the hollow brought his large heavy hand down in a straight cut. Eyes widening I jumped out of the way still in a state of shock.

"What are you doing?!" I blinked

"You're not going to lose to a hollow like that are you?! Start Fighting!" Rukia's voice rang through the noise.

For a millisecond I was about to retort reaching for my zanpakto, but flashing before my eyes was the...thing..., the thing that kept my voice at bay. I could see his eye , the way he looked at everything and everyone . The way he fought, unhinged, unaware of his surroundings, unleashing chaos with every swinging of the sword. Worst of all, I had no control. No way to decipher what was friend or foe, all he wanted was control and what he could do if he did get it sent a chill down my spine. Looking towards the hollow before me, for the first time since I had gotten my shinigami powers , fear clawed at my chest.

But she can't know, the reason why this is happened

"Che, You're annoying! I was just about to kick his ass anyway-" It happened so fast I couldn't register the hit or being throw a few feet away. My body ached as I pulled myself up.

"What was that?!" Rukia shouted

Why the fuck is she doing this?

"Shut the hell up!"

I don't need this right now. I rushed towards the hollow trying to push down the raging emotions running through my head.

Focus, I need focus... Why is this so damn hard!

But in her Rukia fashion, she wasn't done

"Don't think that I don't know! You... every since losing to those Arrancar , You haven't taken the form of a Shinigami even once!"

My heart stopped for the briefest of moments.

How...?

"What are you afraid of!? Chad go hurt! Inoue got hurt! SO WHAT!?"

The hollow swiped at my legs as I dodged jumping to the left running aimlessly avoiding looking in Rukia's direction.

"Have you always been a man who loses his spirit over little things like that?!"

I pushed harder trying to outrun her voice.

"Is it scary to lose?! Is it scary to not be able to protect your friends?! Or is it...?"

" Scary to the face the Hollow inside of you!?"

My eyes widened and abruptly my head snapped behind me staring wordlessly towards her.

The feeling of elation and guilt racked against my chest.

She knew

Her expression was not one I was familiar with. Serious and stern but underlying in the depths, was grace.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath

"If you're afraid of losing, just get stronger..." Her fist clenched

"If you're afraid of not being able to protect your friends, swear to get stronger until you can protect them..."

My jaw slackened and slowly the pain etched away.

"If you're afraid of the hollow inside you... Just get stronger until you can crush him."

"If you don't want to listen to others, the hold your chin up and yell those words to yourself!" She pointed to herself as she proclaimed

"THAT'S THE KIND OF MAN YOUR HAVE BEEN IN MY HEART ICHIGO!"

In a blinding of light every ache, every worry , all the guilt swept away in the purity of her words. And all of a sudden my world stopped crumbling.

The hollow roared as if to remind me that my days were numbered, but they weren't, not anymore.

Turning my attention to him as he so desired I couldn't help the grin spreading across my face

"Tsk, You're really noisy..."

What would I do without her

"Did you know that?" I didn't need to turn around to know she was smiling. I could feel it.

At last I unsheathed out my zanpakto and with one swift stroke I reminded myself and the hollow who I was.

I took a deep breath closing my eyes. Fresh clean air filling my senses, I felt lighter than when I started.

A soft thud of a familiar person pulled me away. Turning I saw Rukia walking towards me. Her bright eyes fixed on me.

"Rukia." She grinned

"And here I thought you didn't miss me?" I couldn't help but smirk, no need to let her have the satisfaction of being right

"Che, who says I missed you?" She shrugged and her eyes looked to her left

"Hm no reason... Just you seem a bit more yourself rather than the sad, depressed person I left in the school." My smile dropped ... MY BODY!

"We need to go now!" I began speed walking. Rukia confused as ever just stood there. I groaned turning around grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her away.

She STILL doesn't understand why it's a bad idea leaving my body with the gang.

I can tell you that was the entire argument the whole way back.

And it felt great.

How she managed to swindle her way into staying at my house is unbelievable. Her sugary act has out done itself in sweetness ... and it's sickening to watch, even to be a part of it.

As she dabbed her eyes I rolled my eyes groaning outwardly as I found no reason to hide my annoyance.

Immediately Yuzu and my dad succumbed to her story and Rukia turned towards me with a thumbs up. I reminded her that everyone was still watching. Both of us didn't know what to make of my dad crying to my mothers poster about a third daughter.

Much to Rukia's disappointment she was staying in Yuzu and Karin's room. She already had other plans.

12:30 am... that is time I heard a soft knock and my named called by the only person who thought it was okay to wake me up.

"No." I know what she wanted.

"Ichigo!" She whined, I rolled my eyes

" Pleeeaassee?" She sweetly whispered.

"Nope." No way I want to sleep tonight.

She huffed and I grinned. I won, or so I thought.

A sniffle escaped her pink lips...

Not that I pay attention enough to that.

There is lots of people with that colour hue of lips, it's not just her. And I sure as hell am not imagining it.

I shook my head.

"Don't do it..." I warned

"I'll just sit out here, cry a bit about how cruel Kurosaki-kun was to me today and wouldn't help me out when I needed it. That he was so mean when I came to talk to him... I wonder who will wake up first? The girls or your fath-"

I opened the door so fast it probably got whiplash.

Glaring down with all the energy I could muster I was met with the most innocent, puppy eyes. And I hated it. My eyes twitched

"Get in."

And just like that the magic was gone replaced by her mischievous and victorious grin . My palm rolled over my face as I shut the door. Rukia opened the closet door and was prepping her sleeping area. I yawned, I need sleep. I pulled my blanket back and one leg climbed over before I heard

"Ichigo?"

"Hm?" I turned towards her, her back facing me but her movements was stilled.

"I meant what I said."

She turned fully towards me. All humor gone and what was left was her strength and belief in me, in us. An unspoken bond that pulled me out of darkness. It never ceased to amaze me how she never changes. No matter when or how I see her. Steadfast in her ways, the anchor and the savoir to my life.

My mouth parted slightly, in the moonlight I could take her in. She looked like she belonged in its pearl rays. Her eyes like jewels that could entice anyone with one look.

For the first time I really looked at her.

I never realized how much I missed her, nor how much I needed her in my life.

I never noticed how much her absence affected me.

My breath was short.

The realization was surprising but not unwelcomed.

For a moment neither of us moved. The air was quiet and despite the cool wind blowing from the opened window, I wasn't cold.

But whatever this is, it's too early for anything. I just... need her in my life, however it looks, for now. I can be happy with that.

I smirked.

"Che, didn't think you cared midget?" The pillow throw in my face was well deserved. I grinned

"Goodnight... Rukia."

"Night, strawberry." I rolled my eyes and climbed into bed.

Rukia climbed into the closet and so softly did she whisper had I not been paying attention I would not have heard

"Goodnight Ichigo."

I turned to the door as it closed.

One arm behind my head I laid there before a smile I couldn't contain broke through the cracks. Turning to the moon my eyelids felt heavy.

I would figure it out. I will protect everyone... Rukia.

I won't fail this time.

Sooo in comes Grimmjow ... :') I hope you enjoyed it.