Mid January. 3 months since THAT Wednesday (part 2)
Booth sat on the sofa drinking a beer and glaring at the unlit Christmas tree across the room with the snow falling out the window behind it. Snow usually excited him, but it just wasn't doing it for him today. Maybe because it was Wednesday. He used to have fun on Wednesdays finding new and creative ways to wish the people around him a "Happy Hump Day!" But that inclination came to a screeching halt three months ago. Wednesdays were now the bane of his existence. He tried his best to hide it from Hannah, but even if she noticed his mood on a particular Wednesday, she would have never put two and two together. She wouldn't have realized that it all took place on a Wednesday. If she did, she would have scoffed at his refusal to leave it in the past. It was THAT Wednesday. That's how he always referred to it in his head. 'THAT Wednesday.' It was the day everything ended. But it should have been the day everything began for his new and unencumbered life with Hannah. He just couldn't seem to flip that switch. He was hoping that giving Hannah the magical Christmas would be the turning point. It would be two months since the debacle and that seemed to be the right time to really push himself to finally go all in on the relationship. In fact, if Christmas was the resounding success he was hoping for, maybe a proposal was in the offing a few months down the road? Falling in love? Check. Moving in together? Check. Wasn't the next step proposing? Then, maybe buying a house together? Marriage? Children? He wanted it all. He had always wanted it all. At one point he thought it might be with Bones. He knew he was in love and he was convinced that she was too. But he needed to find out if they could be together. And she wasn't willing to take that risk. So he moved on. He met Hannah. And it was easy. So much easier than anything he could have ever had with Bones. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe it was TOO easy. Maybe you needed to work harder at it for it to really mean something. He should have known.
His plans to give Hannah her magical Christmas started off so well. The trip to New York early in December gave them the three best days so far in their relationship. They were there the weekend after the Rockefeller tree lighting and spent an hour just walking around the plaza and marveling at the size and beauty of the tree. They held hands and stole kisses while taking walks on the streets filled with Christmas lights and festive shop windows. They spent a long time examining the over the top displays in Macy's windows. Times Square was an even more raucous experience of light and sound and bodies than on a normal weekend. They saw the iconic Rockettes Christmas show and stood applauding with the rest of the audience marveling at the finale with the entire stage of dancers doing their famous kick line. They sampled some amazing meals at famous restaurants. And Friday night and Saturday night were spent in their luxurious room making love for hours. It really was an amazing weekend. He knew he had hit a home run.
The following week could never match the thrill of their weekend in the Big Apple, but Booth did his best. They toured all of the major tree and light displays on Capitol Hill, strolled the open air Holiday Market near the Kennedy Center followed by ice skating at the Sculpture Garden, took in a performance of The Nutcracker. It was all going even better than Booth hoped and he planned to dazzle her in a few days when she returned from a weekend trip to Boston for work. He had all of his Christmas decorations in the basement storage cage lined up and ready to take up to the apartment as soon as he returned from dropping her off at the airport. And he had been slowly adding new items he thought she would like by dropping them downstairs before heading up to the apartment after work. He couldn't wait to pick her up from the airport Sunday evening and see her face upon returning to a fully decorated apartment. Maybe he should have consulted her first.
Sunday night, as Booth excitedly unlocked the apartment door, he turned to Hannah with a glowing smile. Seeing the look on his face made her nervous because she had no idea what he might have up his sleeve. She was dog tired from a long weekend chasing down leads in an unfamiliar city and all she wanted to do was put on a pair of sweats and plop down on the sofa with a large glass of wine. And here was Booth acting like an excited puppy. She hoped he hadn't done something like plan a surprise party for her - it wasn't anywhere near her birthday, but you never knew what to expect from Seeley Booth. As the door opened, she peeked around the corner but was relieved to see no crowd of people, no tables filled with food. So no party. But then she started looking around. It looked like someone had vomited Christmas all over their apartment. An apartment that was small enough to begin with but now housed a huge overly decorated tree. And white lights strung all over the ceiling. And Santas and reindeer and ribbons and stars and candles and bells and candy canes and at least two nativity sets. It was sensory overload for Ms "I only own 3 suitcases worth of possessions". She turned to face Booth. "Isn't it great? I used all of the stuff I've had for awhile and added lots of items I thought you would like!" Hannah was speechless. She walked over to the tree and started fingering a few of the ornaments. "Why does nothing match? And don't trees look better with all white lights?" He still hadn't picked up on her revulsion as he bounded over to her and the tree. "No, see. When you have a family tree it has ornaments that have been collected over years - your lifetime. Several of these were on our family tree when I was a child. A couple are from my grandparents. And I've been collecting new ones every year since I've lived on my own. Oh, and a traditional tree always has the multicolored lights. But I put all white lights on the ceiling so it feels like we're looking up to the stars. See?" He pointed to the ceiling and looked back to see her look up to the ceiling and then back down to her suitcase. She grabbed the handle and started wheeling it behind her as she walked to the bedroom. On her way by one of the tables, she snatched a candy cane from a cup full of them and wordlessly closed the bedroom door behind her. Booth stood in the middle of the room in shock. He was so sure she would love walking into a fully decorated apartment. Her delight at seeing New York all dressed in its holiday finery had convinced him that she enjoyed the chaos and the color and the pageantry of Christmas as much as he did. He sat down and waited for her to unpack her suitcase and change out of her travel clothes. Maybe it was just too much after a busy weekend of work. She just had to get used to it all. After all, she had spent the last few Christmas seasons in war zones. Give her a day or two to get used to it and she would be fine. He would help her see it through his eyes - the magic of Christmas.
An hour later he looked over to the still closed bedroom door. He finally got up, walked over and quietly opened the door. She was sound asleep in bed facing the wall with her back to him. Booth stripped to his boxers and slid into bed beside her. He attempted to spoon her, but her body went rigid in his arms, and for the first time that evening he understood what she was trying to tell him.
Over the next two weeks they learned more about each other than they ever had during their whole relationship. Hannah had enjoyed Christmas in New York because it was Christmas in New York. She enjoyed the lights and the trees, but she certainly didn't want to live with them. Especially in an apartment the size of a postage stamp. And if she could be talked into a tree, she wanted one with all white lights and all matching ornaments. Not the mishmash he had on the tree. It was a tense two weeks, but Booth was determined to save the relationship. He was beginning to realize that in order to make this relationship work they were both going to need to make concessions. If they could meet in the middle it would set them up for a long term partnership - the future that Booth longed for.
Things started looking brighter on Christmas Eve when they attended Midnight Mass together. Hannah seemed happy for the first time in weeks and they walked home hand in hand through the quiet streets. She was even happier when she unwrapped her gift from under the tree to find a pair of emerald earrings. That night they had the best sex since the trip to New York and then again the next morning under the tree after they exchanged the rest of their gifts. That afternoon Rebecca brought Parker to the apartment so they could exchange gifts with him and they all shared Christmas dinner together. It had been a difficult lead up to the day itself, but he couldn't have asked for a better Christmas Day. The next day, they sat down for breakfast and Booth had a proposition for Hannah. They both had the week off and he suggested they spend part of it looking for a new apartment to make a fresh start for the new year. Hannah loved the idea, and they started their search that afternoon. The more the week went on, the more they began to realize that they would never agree on their living arrangements. Booth loved every place he found that had quirks and character. Hannah was determined that she would only live in a clean, fresh, modern space. When Booth tried to picture his beloved decor in the places she favored, there just didn't seem a place for them. "Where would we put my antique airplane memorabilia? How about the hockey scoreboard items that I paid dearly for at auction?" Her sneer said it all. "Those items are not suitable for our shared space. Put them into storage and maybe one day you will have a man cave that you can decorate any way you like. If this is truly to be 'our' home, we must agree on anything we bring into it."
As the week progressed toward the new year, it was becoming clear that it was going to be impossible to find a shared living space. Parker had planned to spend a day with them near the end of the week, but Booth called Rebecca to apologize because he just couldn't see bringing his son into the atmosphere that had permeated the entire apartment. The morning of New Years Eve, Hannah told him they needed to talk. They sat across from each other at the kitchen table and she told him she was leaving. She had already packed her three suitcases and would be calling a taxi soon to take her to the train station. He offered to drive here there, but she just wanted a clean break and not an awkward, silent ride. "Seeley, you're a maximalist. You love having your eclectic memorabilia surrounding you." She looked around the room and into the living room. "I'm a minimalist. I always have been, and after living here with you for all of these months, I realize I always will be. I abhor all of this clutter. I've never been comfortable living here. Sometimes, even when there is a strong attraction, people just don't fit together. Seeley, we just don't fit." There really wasn't anything he could say. He knew that as much as she couldn't live around his things, he could never be comfortable living in the wide open sterile apartments that she favored. She said she was going to spend a few weeks on her own and then look to head back to the Middle East. That was truly what she wanted to do with her life. She called for the taxi, and ten minutes later he loaded her bags into the trunk and they shared a hug on the street. He told her to stay safe and watched the taxi until it had disappeared into traffic.
That night, he sat with a glass of scotch watching the ball drop on television. And he conducted his own little After Action Report. How could they not both see this coming? She loved being in the action over there and she was a free spirit. She even once said she considered herself a nomad. She came to him and then left him with three friggin suitcases. He looked around the apartment he loved so much and had to laugh. He was okay with action, but he was always working toward an even more stable life than he already had. He had a son who grounded him, but he also wanted to find a woman who would marry him, buy a house with him, have children with him. What ever made him think that Hannah was a candidate for that life? There was only one answer. He wasn't thinking. As usual, he was just feeling. He had fallen for her beauty and the amazing sexual chemistry they shared. He once told Bones to put her brain in neutral and her heart in overdrive. Maybe he needed to put his brain in overdrive for awhile.
So, on that snowy Wednesday in mid January, he finally decided to take his own advice. It was time to get his life together. Take down that damn Christmas tree that was now ringed by a thick layer of fallen needles. Pack up all the Christmas lights and decor. Give the apartment a good cleaning. Restart his life. But he had learned a painful lesson about blindly following his heart and not looking forward. And in the end he lost two women he loved. He was too blind to realize that Hannah wasn't right for him. And by trying to save a relationship that was never going to work, he lost his Bones.