"What do you think is in there?" Moss' breath was warm when they whispered behind Astarion's ear. They were looking at a shack, built in a more secluded corner of the tiefling refugee camp. There was a heavy padlock keeping it locked, clearly off bounds for visitors.
"Storage, I imagine. Perhaps food and other supplies." Astarion shrugged, uninterested.
"Can you pick the lock? I want to see what's inside."
Astarion huffed a laugh "Can you do magic, darling?"
Moss smiled, mischief written all over their face "Do it!"
There were no guards, Lae'zel had scared off the tiefling who had been watching over the shack, and the archer stationed nearby was looking away from them, bored and distracted. It was laughably easy.
With a smug smile and a sway of his hips, Astarion approached the door. The lock wasn't overly complicated, and he picked it open in a matter of seconds. The shed doors opened with a whine, and Astarion's elven eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness inside, making everything seem dull and colorless, but sharp and clear, even in low light.
"There's someone-"
Astarion tried to warn them, but Moss was already moving past him, into the shed, and they were greeted with an immediate "Stop! You are not allowed in here, leave."
It was a tiefling woman, sitting on the ground. There was something awkward and stiff about how she was sitting, and she didn't get up nor move from where she was despite her demands. Astarion didn't think she could.
"What's wrong with you?" Moss asked, eyeing her curiously.
"It doesn't matter. Leave." She snapped.
"Oh, don't worry about little old me. I'm just looking around. I didn't realize this was a restricted area. I'm not here to take anything." They shot her a comforting smile, the lie coming easily from their lips. Moss raised their hands in surrender and if Astarion hadn't heard them tell him to pick the lock open, he would have believed them. They looked like just another harmless fool.
The tiefling eyed Moss suspiciously for a second, before she sighed in defeat "As long as you don't touch anything…" Easy like that.
"Now, are you going to tell me what happened to you?"
The tiefling groaned, a mix of embarrassment and resignation as she explained how she took a potion knowing it could cause her harm. A potion from the sickly sweet old woman they met early. Moss had said she felt like wild magic.
"Maybe I can help…" Moss said thoughtfully and Astarion rolled his eyes. "Hold on, stay where you are, I'll be back!"
They didn't wait for an answer before they rushed back outside, leaving Astarion to trail behind and hear the tiefling woman curse at them.
"What an ass." She spat. "Not even if I wanted to."
"They'll be back" Astarion said with an eyeroll. "They love playing errand person to everyone."
"Astaaarion! Where are you? Come with me!" Moss shouted in a sing song voice, their voice sounding distant already.
"That would be my cue."
Astarion followed outside, where the world was colorful and the noise of people's voices echoed around the tall, cavernous camp. It was awfully busy, and nobody seemed to care he was coming out of a restricted area now that it was already open.
Moss was shifting around impatiently with Shadowheart by their side looking mildly bored.. Astarion was barely at arm's length before Moss was pulling him close, their voice dropping down to a whisper that somehow still sounded too loud to be discreet.
"Listen! Here's what we're gonna do. Wonderful Shadowheart is going to pray to Shar and heal her. We'll talk! She'll be distracted and so, so grateful with how helpful we all are, we'll be best friends in no time. And while all that is going on, you, my friend, are going to strike."
"You want me to kill her?" Astarion asked in interest, though he was a little surprised by the suggestion.
"What? No! No, no, no. We're not killing anyone yet." Moss shook their head, and Astarion felt a stab of disappointment. "No. I meant that you'll see what's in the boxes and barrels and take everything you see."
"Oh, we're not murdering, we're just stealing. Got it." Astarion laughed.
"Really? Stealing from refugees? Is that why you sent Wyll back to camp?" Shadowheart asked, sounding a little amused. She didn't seem like she opposed that much.
"He's a very nice man. He didn't need to see this." Moss nodded. "And it's not stealing. It's… an involuntary donation. Because they want our help, so they have to pay for it somehow, right? I don't run a charity.'
"You do know you don't have to help. We have our own problems to deal with, we don't need to add 'saving refugees from goblins' on top of it all." Astarion rolled his eyes.
"You're right." Moss sighed "But the druid Halsin that needs saving, they said he might be able to help us get rid of the parasite. This is the only reason I really agreed to help, the healer here is useless. Either that, or We will have to face Lae'zel's people and beg for a cure there. I don't want to owe the githyanki any favors."
Astarion couldn't argue with that logic. He just hoped they didn't actually have to face an entire goblin camp.
"Alright, I suppose I'm not opposed to a little stealing. Lead the way."
The smile Moss shot him was brilliant, like he had just promised them a sweet treat. "I knew I liked you for a reason. And don't forget, grab everything, even if you think it's useless. Rags, and torches, those rotten little mushrooms you sometimes find at the bottom of old barrels. Everything."
"Why do you need rotten food?" Astarion made a face, but Moss was already walking ahead of him.
"Everything, Astarion!"
True to their word, Moss did a great job at distracting the tiefling while Shadowheart cured her injuries. They chatted about how she got in that predicament, asked her about her life and talked around a reward for the good deed they had just done.
It was easy to slink around in the dark, forcing open chests, slipping into crates and grabbing everything Astarion could see. There were a few useful potions and some equipment that actually was worth taking, but as Moss had asked, Astarion also filled his bag with useless things. Plates, torches, rags, stuff that he hoped Moss wouldn't make everyone haul around when they moved camp.
All in all, it took no more than a few minutes, they left a tiefling happy to have regained her legs, and pockets full of garbage. Astarion wasn't sure who really won in this situation, but he promptly dropped everything he grabbed into Moss' arms as soon as they were far enough to not be overheard.
"It's your pile of garbage, darling. You carry it."
"It's not garbage! Don't call it that. It's treasure! Do not downplay it, it's bad for business. Ooooh! I see boots and shirts too. Well done. Thank you so much. Now come! We're getting rich."
"Somehow I doubt that." Shadowheart said dubiously, exchanging looks with Astarion. At least he wasn't the only one who thought their friend was insane.
The next stop was the halfling that stayed by the grove's entrance, bartering with anyone who came along. But surely the plan wasn't to sell all the useless stuff? Who would buy all that?
Astarion stayed a few steps away from Moss, his arms crossed, only observing how Moss did indeed try to sell everything away.
"No, you see. Of course these mushrooms are worth the five coins, it's a natural grown fertilizer. You're a druid, you know how nature recycles and reuses. Four coins, one for each, perhaps? Oh, and I might throw in these garbs as well for those health potions. I also have these daggers I can part with."
At first the halfling was skeptical, but his mistake was apparently to let Moss speak and never stop speaking and soon enough a pile of what Astarion had deemed 'junk' was traded for three health potions, three fire arrows and a handful of coins.
The halfling was left smiling, satisfied with all.
"Everything is useful, Astarion." Moss offered him the arrows with a cheeky smile.
"You are the most impressive liar I've ever had the pleasure of meeting." Astarion said, honestly coloring his words, despite himself. He accepted the arrows, and together, the three of them started making their way back to camp as the sun started to set, coloring the Sword Coast in hues of red and gold.
"I'm not a liar. Everything I said was true." Moss said turning their nose up haughty
"A scammer then. Or a manipulator, perhaps?" Shadowheart quipped.
"Fertilizer, they said. It was rotten mushrooms. I won't call that telling the truth."
"You two are awful to me!" Moss put a hand over his heart in fake offense, but they wouldn't stop smiling, as if they took their words as a compliment. "I've never lied in my life. I am but a poor, innocent merchant doing what merchants do. It's part of the job!"
"I didn't know all merchants went around selling garbage. Should I be worried about those arrows?" Astarion teased.
"I'll take it back, if you don't want them. I'm sure Lae'zel will find use for them."
"Oh, no. Not at all, darling, I'll take my chances. All I'm saying is that I'm wholly impressed by this wretched display of bartering. I'll collect every piece of garbage I find on the road and give it to you from now on."
"Perfect! Our halfling friend said he might have more to trade in a couple of days. It'll be wonderful."
"Were you really a merchant? Before all this?" Shadowheart asked after a long pause in the conversation, and Astarion couldn't help glance at Moss in curiosity. Out of everyone who had joined their camp, Moss themself was the one he knew the least about when it came to their past. He had half expected that calling themself a merchant had been a lie.
"I was. I am. Had a stall in Baldur's Gate that I moved around from Upper City to Lower City. It's probably all gone now." A hint of sadness colored their voice, just for a moment before it was gone.
"Maybe this will be your way to expand business. Selling useless nothings to every other trader you meet."
"Not a bad deal. I wonder if we can remove the tadpole alive. I bet someone would pay good coin for it. I can picture it! I could say it'll change your life if you consume it."
"Please, do not sell the illithid parasite to random innocent people, Moss." Shadowheart said sternly, Moss didn't sound like they were joking.
"Why not?" Astarion laughed "It'd be delightful to see. And they are not wrong, you know. It would change a person's life forever."
"It would cause chaos, is what it would do. Which I realize does the opposite of dissuading both of you. But consider this, I'll tell Wyll."
"What? No! Don't tell Wyll that" Moss moved to walk in front of Shadowheart as they pleaded, stumbling a couple of times as they walked backwards "We just met him. He's all heroic and nice. Lets not upset the man!
"You watch out, Moss." Shadowheart said ominously. Astarion got the impression she just liked to see Moss squirm with her threats, which he could not blame her for, it was very entertaining.
"I'm watching out!" They said and then tripped on a rock they didn't see.
And the Tieflings wanted this elf to save them? They were doomed.
A/N: Can you tell what is Moss' background?